by Roisin
I want to feel him against me. His mouth keeps caressing mine and I want to reach up and run my fingers through his hair, but he has my hands locked at my side.
It’s frustrating and at the same time, it’s turning me on. His dominance affects me in ways I barely even understand.
Suddenly it’s as if I want him to give me more. As if I’m just as hungry as he is. I sigh into him and let him devour me. My mouth opens for him and he takes the space like he lives there.
Then he pulls back.
And I feel empty.
“Fuck this.”
“What?”
He smirks. “Fuck this. I need to be inside you. I’ve waited all week. I’ve stayed away. I need to do this. Get in the car.”
There is nothing in his tone that suggests I can argue with him. He’s already forcing me back inside.
This is insane. Completely.
I barely even know this man.
I have no idea what he’s capable of or what he will do.
That used to terrify me, but now it feels exciting and reckless.
I get in the car and put my seatbelt on. He’s already tearing the car away, flying down the street while the engine revs and accelerates.
As soon as he’s changed gears, his hand slides over and now it’s on my thigh. Caressing me. Rubbing up and down. I want to do the same to him. I want to touch him.
But I don’t.
I feel so inexperienced next to him. Even though there isn’t much difference in our ages, he seems so much older and wiser.
I’m afraid of making a fool of myself.
He takes his hand away to shift gears again and this time when he brings it back, he doesn’t go for my thigh. He takes the space between my legs and a shock of frustrated pleasure rushes through me.
I can feel myself getting wet for him.
I want this.
I need this.
“Where are we going?”
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “My house.”
No checking if that’s okay with me. No asking. No nonsense. I wonder if I said no, would he even care?
I’m not going to say no this time though.
I couldn’t say no even if I wanted to.
We’re in his kitchen. The room is lit by soft white under cabinet spotlights and Jason is pouring me the drink that I said I didn’t need.
“Here,” he hands me the glass of wine.
“I don’t drink.”
“It’ll help you relax.”
I eye it up and press the glass to my lips, letting the liquid run down my throat. It burns slightly and leaves a strong aftertaste in my mouth. It’s not particularly pleasant, but already I feel like I want another one. I take another sip and Jason smiles at me.
“Will it hurt?”
I don’t even know where that came from. Of course it’s going to hurt. I had friends in high school who were all sexually active and every one of them said it hurt. But only really the first time.
What if there is only one time between us?
That isn’t how I wanted it to go.
I thought I’d be in a loving relationship with someone. I thought we’d wait until I was ready. But strangely enough, even though this is clearly not a loving relationship — I do feel ready.
“Yes. And I’m not going to tell you that it will only be the first time either, because that would be a lie.”
I lift an eyebrow and watch him from the other side of the room. “What do you mean?”
“It’s always going to hurt with me. I don’t fuck gentle. I don’t fuck nice. It will always hurt, but I promise you, you’ll learn to enjoy it.”
I take another sip of the wine. Fuck — it wasn’t a sip, more like a gulp. His words should have me cowering in fear but somehow they only make me more curious.
How could I enjoy something that hurt?
“You mean to say, there’s going to be more than one time?”
My voice sounds weak and pathetic, but I really can’t help it. I feel like a timid little mouse around him, which is strange because I’ve always felt able to stand up for myself until now. I’ve always been brave, until now.
But now I’m standing in his kitchen. Now his gaze is on my body. Now he’s looking at me like he’s going to devour me, hurt me, take every last piece of me.
Slowly he nods. “I’m going to fuck you every night. You belong to me now.”
I swallow and take another sip from the glass of wine.
“And what if I don’t want to?”
I’m not sure if I’m playing with him or if I’m genuinely curious.
He smirks and runs his fingers through his dark hair. “Not even an option. You don’t have a choice. You’ve never had a choice.”
My breath catches in my throat. This is dangerous. Reckless. Probably the most daring thing I’ve ever done.
And yet I feel like I need him.
My head nods just a fraction and his eyes sparkle at the movement.
“Take your clothes off.”
I eye him up from the other side of the room. He’s standing next to the counter, leaning back casually.
“R… Right here?”
“Right fucking here, princess.”
I put my wine glass down on the kitchen table. I’m deliberately stalling. With shaky fingers, I grab on to the bottom of my shirt, intending to pull it up over my head.
But I pause for too long.
He takes a step towards me and my already stiff body tenses up even more.
“You have three seconds to begin, else I do it for you.”
I don’t even let him count. My hands fall back down to the side and he smirks at me before closing the rest of the distance. He pulls my shirt up over my head and unclips my bra before the shirt has even hit the floor.
My breath catches in my throat as he pulls the bra down off my arms. Cool air rushes over my exposed breasts and I feel my nipples hardening. Immediately my hands fly up to cover my exposed chest, but he gives me a look that tells me to get them back down.
I shake my head, even though he’s not said anything.
“Keep your hands at your side.”
His tone is so demanding that I do it, even though every nerve in my body is screaming at me to cover myself. To shield myself from his hungry stare.
His eyes assault my body and I watch his face as his tongue darts out and wets his lips.
“You’re perfect. Just how I imagined you would be.”
He reaches a large, rough hand up and places it on my left breast. I close my eyes and try to focus on breathing. All I can hear is my heart hammering in my ears. When his fingers slide over my skin and trace my nipple, a bolt of something shoots through me and I can’t stop my hands from darting up.
He grabs a hold of them and pushes them down behind my back.
“Do I need to tie you up, princess?”
My eyes blink open in surprise and I shake my head.
“There’s a good girl. Keep your hands behind your back and let me have these perfect tits. Stick them out for me.”
I arch my back, just like he told me to, and watch as he gets down on his knees in front of me. This time two hands come for them and my breath catches in my throat when he firmly pushes them together, moulding them and toying with me.
The sensation is too much and yet, not enough. I want to grab a hold of something solid but his warning rings in my ears. A sigh escapes my mouth, and he chuckles, bringing his mouth forward and licking his tongue over my nipple.
I sigh again, harder this time as a rush of pleasure pools low in my belly.
And then his fingers are undoing the button on my jeans. He’s sliding them over my hips and still I keep my arms pressed firmly behind me.
The next thing I know, I’m standing in front of him completely naked.
He takes a step back and his eyes roam over my body. I feel my cheeks flushing at his appraisal. Does he like what he sees?
He’s so quiet.
; So fucking still.
Then he takes my hand and I’m being led through the house, back to the front door where the stairs are. But this time we don’t go through the door. This time, he takes my hand and pulls me in front of him, leading me up the stairs while he follows behind me.
I feel so exposed, walking around naked like this. It makes me want him pressed up against me even more. I pause at the thought of it, wanting to feel him close behind me. He brings his hand to the back of my neck and presses firmly, encouraging me to speed up.
“Jason,” I murmur. I don’t know why. I can barely even think straight.
We reach the top of the stairs and there are more doors than I can count. But still he leads me further down the hall. And then he pushes me up against one of them and I feel the cold hard wood pressed against my back. The shock of it has me hissing under my breath but Jason quickly kisses it away.
This time, my hands reach up and take a hold of his firm shoulders. His hands roam my body, everywhere. He pushes himself against me and I feel the hard length of him low on my belly. His knee comes up between my legs and I part for him.
When he begins to grind against me I feel my knees go weak and my heart begin to hammer in my chest.
Then the door comes away from behind me and I think I might fall, stumble, but he’s there catching me. He pulls me back up against him and we both tumble into the bedroom, our lips never separating while he pulls me over to the bed.
I collapse into it and barely have any time to take in the surroundings before he’s pulling his shirt up over his head. Now I’m the one with the roaming eyes.
Broad shoulders. Tight abdominals. Prominent pecs. He looks like he’s just walked out of a photoshoot for an aftershave campaign. And he’s looking at me like the only thing he wants to do is climb right between my legs.
“Spread them wide for me, princess. I want to see every inch of you.”
I hesitate.
He takes my legs and parts them for me on the bed. I study his face while he drinks in the sight of me. Then he takes a step back and removes the rest of his clothes.
I can’t help where my eyes drift. Every part of him is large and hard and sculpted to perfection. And all I want is to feel his weight pressed down on top of me. To stare into his silky blue eyes. To hear the rough demands spill freely from his mouth.
He gets down on his knees at the side of the bed, mere inches away from me. I’m sitting up on my elbows, watching him watch me. A part of me is scared that he’s about to kiss me in such intimate places, and the other half of me is scared that he won’t… that I’ll never know the feeling of his lips in that secret place.
The lips that are trailing kisses up my inner thigh.
“You’re so perfect, princess.” His low murmur sends shivers running up and down my legs. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
I swallow. I can’t say that.
So instead I shift my hips up towards him, hoping my silent action will show him what I want. What I need.
He’s still kissing and now he is close. So close that I can feel his warm breath connecting with the moisture between my legs.
“You need to tell me what you need, little princess.” There it is again. Those magical words that send me crazy with need for him.
“I need… I need…”
“You don’t know what you need? Fuck. You’re adorable.” And then he kisses me right there. Right on the place where every nerve in my whole body begins and ends. My back arches. My fingers twist inside the bedsheets. I don’t know what to do.
“Shhhh,” he whispers, and his breath runs over my exposed pussy, sending another rush of agitated pleasure to my core.
“I need you to kiss me there again.”
He chuckles a low, deep rumble and I feel it in my core. And then he does what I needed him to do. He does what my whole body is begging for him to do.
His tongue flicks out and licks me from my entrance to my clit. I squirm in the sheets, desperate for more. And he does it again. A moan escapes my lips and I feel his hands moving around, sculpting my ass and moulding me towards him.
And then he kisses me like he’s hungry. Not hungry, starving. He kisses me in that spot like it’s the sweetest nectar he ever tasted.
I melt into the mattress. Whatever is happening to my body is overpowering, and it’s all because of him. It’s as if he’s lit a fire inside me. No, not a fire. More like a storm. Like there is a storm building inside of me and I’m teetering on the edge of a cliff, about to lose myself inside it.
Before I even know what I’m doing, my hands are in his hair and I’m urging him on, desperate to reach that place. This seems to only spur him on even more, and he lets out a groan that reverberates inside me.
“Fuck babe,” he says. The sound is masked my wet body. “Come for me. Let me drink your sweet juices.”
I moan in delight at his words. I’m so needy. So close. I’m almost there.
“Give me every last drop of you.”
Suddenly the waves come crashing all around me. The world goes dark. I don’t know if I’m falling or if I’m flying or if I’m actually already dead. All I know is I’m seeing stars and color and my whole body is shaking without me consciously doing it.
Jason is still there but his movements are so still. He’s kissing me again — not hungrily this time. He’s kissing me like I’m precious. Like I’m beloved and I’ve just done something so very pleasing for him.
When he finally pulls away from me, I close my legs and sit back up on my elbows.
A blush spreads across my cheeks now that I’m rapidly coming down from the high that just shook me. I’m becoming aware of everything again.
I’m naked.
He’s naked.
I barely even know him.
He just saw me there. He just tasted me there.
My worry must show on my face because he gets up and sits down on the bed beside me, pulling me across to his lap and stroking my hair back off my face.
“You were amazing. Perfect. So fucking beautiful.”
I look up into his face and give him a nervous smile. He’s so warm and I feel like I could fall asleep right here in his lap.
“Are we going to…”
“Am I going to fuck you?”
I glance up at him. He found the words better than I ever could. I give him a lazy bob of my head so I don’t have to repeat them.
He laughs. “I’m not going to fuck you tonight.”
I take a second to process his words and realize that I’m almost… disappointed.
“Why not?”
Doesn’t he want me?
But he just chuckles and lays me back down on the bed beside him.
“Because you’re not ready yet. When I fuck you, you’re going to be as desperate for it as I am.”
“But… I am desperate.”
He shakes his head, an amused look in his eye. “You’re not desperate. You’re curious. And while that’s endearing, it’s not ideal.”
My face drops, and he pulls me in close to him again and kisses me on the top of my head. “Don’t worry, little princess. You’ll be ready soon.”
Jason took me home.
After all of that. After everything. He. Took. Me. Home.
I’m not even going to pretend that I know what his intentions are anymore. One minute he’s barreling me into cars and declaring that he must have me now, and the next minute he’s shoving me out of the door and taking me home.
He’s confusing, to say the least.
I drop down on my bed and let my purse fall to the side next to me. I make a promise to myself that I’m not going to overthink this. He’s been confusing since the first day I met him when I accidentally stepped in his way and got the brunt of his attitude.
And then there was the note. And the abduction. And him acting like he was about to force me.
But all that was before I told him I was a virgin.
What if I hadn’t said those words? W
ould he have done it anyway?
Right… There I go… overthinking everything.
I get up and pad through to the bathroom, turning the taps on and emptying near half a bottle of soak into the tub. The smell of jasmine fills the room and I take my clothes off for the second time tonight.
I really thought it was going to happen, and there is a part of me that was disappointed when it didn’t.
What did he mean when he said I wasn’t ready?
I feel ready!
In fact, considering the way he pulled me apart and put me back together again with his mouth, I don’t think I will ever feel more ready than I do now.
But I promised myself no overthinking, so I grab my book and step into the bath, hoping that I can get all thoughts of Jason Dixon out of my head.
Chapter 10
JASON
It took all the strength I had tonight to take her back home.
When she was sprawled out naked on my bed, staring up at me like I held the keys to kingdom there was nothing I wanted more than to bury myself deep within her pretty pink pussy.
I didn’t take her home because I’m a gentleman. Or because I’m a good guy. Or because I care about her.
I took her home because I knew right then that once we crossed that line, there would be no coming back for either of us. No walking away. I’ve wanted her since the day I locked eyes on her. Since the day she told me to watch where I was going. And I have imagined claiming her as my own every single night since then.
But how would she react if I told her how I feel? It’s too soon. I’d scare her away for sure. I meant what I told her, I can’t fuck gentle. It’s not going to be candles and roses with me. She took what I was telling her well enough… but she was curious.
She wasn’t excited.
She wasn’t desperate.
And I need her to be both of those things before I take her.
Monday rolls around and I haven’t spoken to her. I have her number now, I could have easily text her. But I didn’t.
