"I can ask Mia if she can spare some medical personnel," he murmured.
Mia?
Mia Hill?
He was going to ask her for aid of this nature? Not that I would look a gift horse in the mouth, but we'd only just broken through with the dragons. Generations of animosity didn't just go away. And Mia was the rightful heir to the throne. Didn't that at least give Sven pause? This was getting me nowhere. I shoved that train of thought aside. It didn't really matter what I thought. That decision was up to him. I just hoped he thought things through.
So I just focused on running through everything I needed to tell him. And yes, my eyes strayed at odd moments.
To that strong callused hand that tapped at the edge of the desk while he thought.
To his full lips that he pursed sometimes when he frowned.
To his hair that never quite fell completely smoothly, perfect in its imperfection. The strong line of his jaw with the beginning of darker brown stubble. The breadth of his shoulders.
I felt the urge to bang my head against the wall. I sounded like a lovesick schoolgirl, something I never was even in school. What was wrong with me?
I hoped this was just a symptom of spending too much time with him lately, and the fact that we were alone together, which we rarely were.
Once everything settled down and I no longer needed to have such frequent meetings with Sven, perhaps this unusual fascination with the man would fade. I hoped.
I needed to focus on my job, not ruin my professional and personal life in one fell swoop. This wouldn't lead anywhere good. It couldn't.
Chapter Six
I looked around at the neatly organized campsite.
Shula's flock had been hit quite hard not just because one of their own had been involved in the planning of the coup against Emberich, but also because of their close proximity to the capital.
Idera was one of the first conspirators killed publicly.
The image of Emberich beheading the man flashed across my mind. I shuddered, knowing those executions would be forever embedded in my mind. I couldn't imagine what those who had cared about the conspirators felt when they'd been killed so publicly.
Or the terror those flocks must have experienced when Emberich decided in his wrath to go after them as well, his rage so all-encompassing at finding out about a revolution being plotted under his very nose, that it bled out to destroy so much.
I looked around at the aftermath. There wasn't one building that was left upright. All around me, the able-bodied members of the flock helped clear out rubble, a painstaking process even with machines and people in their phoenix forms taking care of the heaviest pieces. I looked out across what was left of the once-thriving city, to the mostly flat and barren landscape stretching all around.
"We have enough food and water. Now the hard work begins," Shula murmured next to me, looking out at the same expanse.
She was right. As much a time, energy, and effort it took to get to this point, it was nothing compared to the long haul. Not just for her flock, but for all of us. For the phoenixes as a race. And not just in the physical aspect, in the world around us we could see.
We needed to rebuild who we were. Who we wanted to be now. And that future in particular was so uncertain.
"And who knows what our king has in store for us," she murmured under her breath.
I frowned at that addition.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, turning to look at her.
She glanced at me, not turning her head.
"I probably shouldn't say this since you work at the palace," she started. "But I know where your loyalty lies. You've proven it multiple times. It isn't to any throne or ruler."
"You know the flocks are my concern," I murmured. "What are you worried about?"
I knew all of my reservations, but it sounded as though she had something more specific in mind.
She sighed, looking away.
"There are rumors...I don't know how true they are, but I have my suspicions. Considering the way that Sven came to power."
"Shula. What are the rumors?" I asked, tired of beating around the bush. "Just tell me."
"That Sven is actually in the dragons' pocket," she finally spit out, grimacing as if just the words themselves left a bad taste in her mouth. "That he was given the throne for that reason. That his regime is propped up by them simply so that he can make decisions that will benefit them over us. That they realized those decisions would be more difficult for us to stomach from an outsider like Mia, so they installed a familiar face to pull the wool over our eyes."
I felt many of those points hit home, but I shook my head, considering my experience.
"He hasn't given any indication of that so far," I said in a low voice. "And Mia was as much phoenix as she was dragon."
It didn't feel appropriate to bring up my own reservations. Not when Shula was doing just fine with her own.
"Perhaps. But look at where she is now."
Living in the Dragon Lord Ashur's territory. I couldn't argue against that. But I shook my head again. I had my reservations. But I hadn't seen any indication that Sven wasn't loyal to the phoenixes. Not yet anyway. Then I remembered his off-handed comment about asking Mia for medical aid. But that didn't show disloyalty. I pushed aside that uneasy feeling.
But as I went through the rest of the day, checking in with what various sections of Shula's flock were doing, glancing around at how everything was organized, I couldn't completely shake off the thought. It didn't help that overheard some conversations skirting around the same topic.
"At least King Sven is helping us," a younger man said as he took a pull off a water bottle.
"For now," his older counterpart muttered. "But never forget how he got onto the throne in the first place. Or who his friends are. We need to have an eye on the future. Don't put your rose-colored glasses on just yet."
The younger man frowned, but nodded. It was troubling that I'd heard that seem sentiment twice now. Yes, I had my personal reservations. And maybe it didn't really mean anything. Nobody could or should put their faith into someone overnight. But if Shula was to be believed, the rumors were swirling on a mass scale. I wouldn't have expected that without more to fuel the fire after the coronation. And he hadn't really done anything to do that. We didn't even have to ship in extra help for medical care with all the medical professionals who'd ended up volunteering around the clock.
I still hadn't managed to shake off my sense of disquiet as I changed into my phoenix form and flew back to the capital. I told myself these were just rumors fueled by uncertainty.
As the new regime settled into power, I was certain people would settle down as well. Assuming Sven didn't do anything else to reinvigorate the rumors. Landing on the rooftop of the building I lived in at the base of the capital, I changed into my human form and dressed quickly. Generally speaking, the closer one's residence was to the palace and the top of the mountain, the more power one had.
But I'd always liked living a little bit away like this. It helped me separate myself from work. As much as I was able to while still being in the capital anyway. I stepped onto a gondola, the crowd who stepped on with me dwindling the closer we got to the palace. Until it was just me who stepped out at the very top.
As I strode inside, I realized I hardly even noticed the opulence of the place anymore. I supposed familiarity could make even the most ostentatious displays ordinary after some time.
I made it to the audience chamber quickly, the route on autopilot at this point. Igna simply nodded at me and waved me in. Maybe we might actually become friendly with some time. I liked thinking of the cup half full when I could.
When I stepped inside, Sven was on the phone.
"How's Omari?" Sven asked as he waved me inside.
"Wonderful. He's actually adjusting really well. He's basically taking over the classroom. I don't know where he got his people skills from, but I definitely didn't get those same genes."
It was a woman's
voice, the love in her voice clear as she spoke. Something about the tone hit a memory inside me. It was familiar somehow...
Mia. Sven was speaking with Mia. That sense of unease resurfaced as the rumors rose back up in my mind. Was there something to them? Was Sven's loyalty questionable? Or at least divided?
I didn't have much time to think about it as Sven wrapped up the phone call and got right into the meeting. But that off-kilter feeling remained.
"How was Shula's flock?" he asked, giving me his full attention.
It usually distracted me a little to be given such focus, but I was already distracted by my other thoughts.
"Everything is going well. As well as can be hoped for given the circumstances anyway," I added, the caveat pertinent.
He made an encouraging sound.
"That's good to hear. Did they have any problems with storage?"
I shook my head. It was a fair question. With all the buildings down, trying to store food and water as well as other supplies was a challenge, especially for that many people. We discussed the details, with Sven asking multiple insightful questions. They didn't surprise me anymore. I'd realized early on that he always paid attention to what I said, and he had a memory like a steel trap. The meeting actually went as smoothly as I'd come to expect.
Saying the difference between him and Emberich was like the difference between night and day wasn't even enough to capture exactly how vast the difference was in terms of their meeting styles. Thinking we were done, I put away my tablet and stood to leave.
But Sven stopped me.
"Are you hungry?" he asked.
I shrugged, thrown off by the unexpected question.
"A little," I admitted.
"Would you like to have dinner with me? I hate eating alone," he added with that small smile that always got me. "And I've been having to do quite a bit of it lately since everyone's off getting things done."
Well. This was an unexpected development. Emberich never asked me to dinner with him. But maybe it was time to stop trying to predict Sven's actions using Emberich's.
As I looked up into Sven's expectant face, I found myself nodding before I'd made a conscious decision.
"Sure. That would be great."
And immediately knew it was a bad idea. I was already having trouble not thinking of him inappropriately. Great. No going back now. His smile widened, that dimple in his left cheek making an appearance. My heart actually fluttered. Damn it. I'd never met anyone who triggered so many conflicting emotions inside me.
"Excellent. They're serving in the dining room right now."
He walked over to my side and extended his arm in a courtly flourish. It shouldn't have surprised me. He had spent much of his time at the palace even before he was king. But I somehow didn't equate him with the fussy, court types that liked to attend the balls and dinners here during Emberich's time. Of course, he would know how to navigate those waters.
"Shall we?" he asked softly.
I looked at the offered arm, feeling even more uncertain now. Refusing would be rude and unnecessary.
"Thank you," I murmured, setting my hand gingerly on his forearm.
It was fine. Everything would be fine. This was just a working meal. People did it all the time. I would just keep telling myself that.
When we stepped into the smaller dining room off the chamber, still impressive in its size and ornate touches, the sight of the dining table set only for two was a little disconcerting.
"Nobody is going to join us?" I asked as he led me over to the chair set catty-corner to the head of the table.
He'd already told me it was just us, but the question came out before I could stop it. Broadcasting my unease, no doubt.
"Not tonight," he said easily as pulled my chair out for me and got me settled. My hands clenched as his hand briefly touched the bare skin at the base of my neck, there and gone. An accident that had way too strong of an effect on me. "It was supposed to just be me, but I put in the request to add a second seat in the hopes you would join me," he murmured with a smile.
All right then. This definitely felt like a romantic setup, but that didn't mean it was. I was probably just projecting. Thankfully, before things could get more awkward, kitchen staff came in with the first round of food. I thanked the young woman who set a salad in front of me.
"Have you had much of a chance to stretch out your wings, take some time off for yourself?" Sven asked as he ate with impeccable table manners.
I switched gears, picking up my fork.
"I don't think anyone has had a chance to take any kind of time off recently," I responded honestly.
"Isn't that the truth," he murmured. "I hope we can get on track so you can have a small bit of time off," he said looking over at me. "I promise not to run you so hard indefinitely."
"This work needs to be done. It's what I want to do. And nobody can run me harder than I want to be run."
He chuckled, regarding me over the rim of his water glass.
"I believe that," he commented, setting his glass down with a clink. "Two very good reasons that contributed to me keeping you on even though I could have replaced you with one of my own."
Now this was something I was curious about.
"Did you have any others who felt the same?" I asked. "It seemed as though everyone with you wanted to replace all of Emberich's appointees."
Even though he'd appointed all of us.
That last bit was only in my head though.
"I did," Sven said. "And even the ones who would have liked to replace you could agree that you knew the ins and outs already. We were—and still are—in the middle of a crisis. Changing out a familiar face, one who is actually good at her job, didn't seem like a smart move." He tilted his head as he regarded me. "And you've proven to me that I made the right decision." He speared the last piece of lettuce on his plate. "Doesn't hurt that you're so easy to be around. That matters when we're all working such long hours."
I didn't know how to reply to that last part. It felt too personal, like a minefield I didn't want to touch. Luckily, the next round of food came in. And Sven changed topics with the smoothness of someone who knew people and how to deal with them. I could deal with people as well. It was what I did, after all. But I wasn't so much smooth as I was straightforward. I appreciated him moving onto something light, though.
To the latest films that were out, surprisingly. Humans still had the market cornered on those for the most part.
"I like a comedy," I admitted, relaxing little. "There is more than enough in real life to bring me down." I shrugged. "I want escapism in my entertainment."
"I can understand that," Sven agreed with a nod. "But I also love a movie that has a lot of explosions," he added, slightly shamefaced.
I let out a surprised laugh, making him grin.
"I know. Typical male. But I am what I am."
No, he wasn't typical. Not at all.
And though the dinner had had an anxious start, it settled into an easy rhythm. In fact, the time flew by. He was surprisingly good company. He could speak on multiple topics with ease. But, more importantly, he was comfortable to be around. I didn't feel like I had to work at all. Before I knew it, the dinner was ending. And I had had a wonderful time.
"Thank you for joining me," Sven murmured as he helped me to my feet, his smile genuine, his touch on my hand soft. Sending a zing of attraction straight through me.
Oh no. I'd kept it mostly at bay, but touching was apparently too much, even one so innocent as that.
"Thank you for having me," I said. And immediately regretted my choice of words. Clearing my throat, I tried to wrap things up quickly before I said anything stupid. "I will see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow."
I didn't run out of that room, but I did walk quickly, needing out of that intimate space. This would not do. Not at all. Fostering any kind of flame for the king was beyond idiotic. I needed to work with him. Something my flock was already on my ca
se about. I couldn't imagine what they'd say if it became more. And, at the very least, it didn't bode well for my emotional health. Kings weren't exactly known for being good bets in the romance department. Talk about having too many options.
Emberich had been with hundreds of women, easily. I didn't want any part of that. Assuming Sven even wanted me, which was a giant assumption. Ugh. Maybe I was spinning nothing into way too much.
Okay, now I wanted to punch myself in the face. This was not me. I didn't obsess or overthink things like this. Especially not when it came to a man. I needed to get a better grip on myself.
I had plenty to worry about already without adding this to my plate. I wasn't going to feed into this. Clean cut of my unruly emotions starting tomorrow.
No problem.
And now I was lying to myself.
Perfect.
Chapter Seven
"Where are you going to next?"
"Ray's," I said. "His flock isn't the worst off, but I want to make sure everything is given out fairly."
Sven frowned at that.
"You think that may not be the case?" he asked, disturbed by the implication.
"I think it's my job to make sure it is," I answered obliquely.
Ray was one of the Chieftains I categorized in the gray region. He wasn't all good or all bad. It depended on the situation. I doubted I'd find any discrepancies when I arrived in his territory. Even if there had been anything to find at some point, the news that I was coming to do an inspection would have sent him scrambling to fix whatever might look suspicious. I was sure of that.
The point of my visits wasn’t always the same. Sometimes it was to ensure everything was received. Sometimes it was to make sure everything was being dealt with competently. Sometimes it was to double-check there was no favoritism being played with what we'd allocated to each flock. But I'd found that simply the threat of an inspection was usually enough to fix any problem that had reached my ears before I even arrived. Which I was fine with. As long as everything fell where it was supposed to in the end, I didn't care how it got there.
From the Ashes: A Dragons & Phoenixes Novel (The Phoenix Wars Book 1) Page 4
