‘Definitely not!’ said Alice. ‘I intend to keep going for many more years … God willing. This arthritis is a blessed nuisance, but it’s not going to kill me. It’s your heart that keeps you going, isn’t it? And I’ve never had any problems there, thank the Lord.’
Flora nodded. ‘It’s the same with me.’ She, too, suffered from arthritis. ‘I should imagine we’re about the same age, Alice, you and me, aren’t we?’
Alice did not readily admit to being eighty-five. She knew she didn’t look her age, so she tried to keep it a secret from ‘nosy parkers’. However, she didn’t put Flora into that category. She had only known the woman for a day, but she had decided that she liked her. She would be here for the next ten days – well, only nine days now – so she might as well find someone with whom she was compatible, and Flora seemed to fit the bill. Alice guessed that, like herself, the woman was intelligent and quite well educated. She preferred to mix with people with whom she could hold an interesting conversation, not just idle chit-chat about the weather, or about their wonderful grandchildren. Alice had to admit, however, that that might be a question of sour grapes. She hadn’t any grandchildren of her own, nor was she likely to have now.
She smiled at Flora. ‘Go on then. I don’t often tell folk how old I am, but I might just make an exception. You go first.’
Flora beamed. ‘Well, I may not look it … but I’ll be seventy-six next birthday! Now, what about you?’
Alice was taken aback. Good grief! She was Flora’s senior by almost ten years! She was flattered, she supposed, that Flora had assumed they were the same age. And Flora was confident that she looked even younger. The idea was encouraging.
Alice had always tried to make the most of the face and figure that God had given her. She knew that she was not beautiful, not at all, but neither was she too plain. She had strong features. Possibly her nose was a little too long and her mouth too wide, but her blue eyes had kept their brightness. (She wore glasses, though, but who didn’t at her age?) And her dark hair had kept its colour, with only an occasional visit to the hairdresser. Alice was above average height, but she had learnt to ‘walk tall’ and not feel awkward because she was taller than her friends and acquaintances, that was until the arthritis had made her stoop a little.
‘Well, you may not believe it either,’ she answered now, ‘but I’m eighty-five. How about that then? I can give you ten years!’
Flora gasped. ‘No, you’re right, I would never have believed it. I thought I was doing well. But you … that’s just incredible!’
‘If you two are going to talk at the top of your voices, would you please go and sit somewhere else. You’re like a couple of cackling hens. Jack and me, we’re trying to watch the snooker.’ The speaker was Henry, whom Alice had met at lunchtime along with his pal, Jack. She did not take offence as she might have done, were she not feeling in quite such a good mood. She had already gathered that Henry was an outspoken Yorkshireman – typical of his breed – but that his bark was worse than his bite, as the saying went. He was laughing as he spoke so she knew there was no malice in his words.
‘Oh … sorry,’ said Flora. ‘We didn’t realize. Come on, Alice, let’s go and sit on the settee.’
‘Reckon you must be going deaf,’ added Henry with a sly grin. ‘Ne’er mind, it comes to all of us.’ He was, in fact, wearing a small hearing aid.
‘That I’m not!’ said Alice, rising stiffly to her feet. ‘I’ve still got all my faculties. Sorry if we disturbed you, though …’
She followed Flora to a settee in the corner of the room. Some of the residents had gone to their own rooms after the midday meal, maybe for a rest on the bed, or to watch TV or read in peace. Alice was finding that this was one of the good things at Evergreen. You were left to your own devices. You could join in with the activities and with other people, only if you wished to do so. If you were a ‘loner’ then they were content to leave you alone.
Alice had decided before she came that she would keep herself to herself. She had brought several books to read, and a puzzle and crossword book, but, to her surprise, she was enjoying the change of company.
She looked across at her new friend. Yes, she supposed she could regard Flora as a friend. The woman was the opposite of herself as far as looks were concerned. She was what might be termed ‘petite’, about five foot two, but just a tiny bit plump. She had a pretty round face that was enhanced by discreet make-up and pale pink lipstick, fairish hair with golden highlights – artifice rather than nature, Alice guessed – and brown, rather inquisitive eyes.
‘Yes,’ said Flora, as the two of them settled themselves against the plump cushions. ‘You’ve certainly surprised me. I hope I look as good as you do when I’m eighty-five … if I live that long!’
‘That’s something we mustn’t dwell on,’ replied Alice. ‘We’ve to make the most of every year – every day – that’s left to us.’
She thought, a shade guiltily, as she made the remark that she, in point of fact, had not been doing that, certainly not of late. She had allowed herself to get into a rut, never venturing far from home. When Jane was available she had taken her in the car to various places: to church on Sunday, if she felt like going; to the library; to Sainsbury’s or Tesco; and occasionally into Preston to visit the market or the shops. Jane had been a willing horse, and she, Alice, had been guilty of driving her too hard.
She wasn’t sure what had brought it on, but the realization of how she had been behaving was coming home to her. No wonder the girl had been tired and ready for a holiday. She decided she would have to make it up to her, somehow. Maybe the first way to make amends was to settle down here at Evergreen and try to enjoy her stay.
‘So, Flora …’ She looked enquiringly at her new friend. ‘Why are you living here when you’re still quite young? Young as elderly people go, I mean. I hope you don’t mind me asking, I’ve always been forthright.’
‘I don’t mind,’ said Flora cheerfully. ‘I’m on my own, you see; no husband, no children, just one brother in Australia. I moved in here a year ago. I felt it was the right thing to do, and I’ve never regretted it.’
‘You’ve had a husband, though, haven’t you?’ said Alice, looking at Flora’s left hand. She wore a plain gold wedding ring, and her engagement ring was a large solitaire diamond, which must have cost a pretty penny!
‘Yes, I’ve had a husband – two, in fact.’ Alice grinned. ‘My first husband turned out to be a gambler. I didn’t know that, of course, when I married him. He was charming and plausible, and I was young and gullible. That didn’t last long. Then I met Clive. I’d been on my own for quite a while. I’d had one or two boyfriends – well, men friends. I was into my thirties by then – but I didn’t feel like risking it again. But Clive … I couldn’t resist him. I went to work for him as a secretary and sort of aide. He was a successful business man, finger in all sorts of pies, something of a wheeler dealer, but an honest one. My job didn’t last long because we got married and I gave up work. I must admit I lived a life of luxury. It was a magic world to me. I’d been brought up in a humble semi with parents who had been hard-working ordinary folk. They made sure I had a reasonable education. I went to a grammar school, but I left when I was sixteen to get an office job. I travelled all over the world with Clive; a cruise every year, holidays in the States, the Far East, the Caribbean … then he died suddenly of a heart attack, five years ago.’
‘So the good life came to an end?’ observed Alice, but not unkindly. Her new friend’s life, though, had been vastly different from her own.
‘Yes … I was devastated at first. I’d become so dependent on him. We had a lot of friends, but they were his friends rather than mine. When he’d gone they still kept in touch with me, but it wasn’t the same. I was on my own. He’d left me very well provided for, of course: big house, more money than I’d ever need …’ She didn’t sound boastful, just regretful.
‘Anyway, after I’d stopped feeling sorry f
or myself I decided I was too young to sit around and stagnate. I joined the local branch of the Townswomen’s Guild, and a book club, and a ladies’ choir.’
‘And do you still keep up with all these things now that you’re living here?’ asked Alice.
‘Of course, why not?’ answered Flora. She laughed. ‘We’re not prisoners, you know. We come and go as we please. They run a bus to take us into Preston a couple of times a week, for those who want to go. And we have theatre trips and outings to places like Southport or Blackpool. But I take a taxi when I want to go somewhere on my own. A lot of us do that.’
Alice was beginning to realize that living in a retirement home was not like being in a sort of prison – albeit a lenient one – as she had supposed. ‘But it must have been a big step for you to give up your home, wasn’t it?’ she asked.
‘Oh, the house was far too big for me, it had been too big for the two of us to be honest. I had someone to help with the cleaning even when Clive was alive, and I’d got out of the habit of housework. I used to cook for the two of us, I quite enjoyed that, but I never got used to cooking just for myself. And then my arthritis got worse – you’ll know all about that – so I decided to look around for a nice retirement home. I visited a few, but this was by far the best. It’s more like a hotel really, but there’s medical help there if you need it. There’s a nurse on the staff, and several of the assistants have had training in first aid. I’ve had no regrets, Alice, about coming here, I can assure you.’
‘Yes, I suppose I can understand it in your case,’ said Alice, a little doubtfully, ‘with you being on your own. But a lot of the people who end up in homes – nice ones like this, or others that are … not so nice – they have sons and daughters, don’t they? It never used to be like this. I remember going to friends’ houses when I was a little girl, and more often than not there was a grandma or grandad living there with the family. We had my old grandma living with us. She died when I was eight. I say old, but she wasn’t nearly as old as I am now. But they seemed much older in those days, somehow.’
‘Things are much different now, Alice, in all sorts of ways,’ said Flora. ‘Old people know how to keep themselves young, that is if they want to. There are some folk, of course, who were born old, if you know what I mean.’
‘Yes, I do.’ Alice smiled. ‘You can be old at forty, or young at eighty. It’s a state of mind, isn’t it?’ It was coming home to her, though, that although she looked younger than her age she had, in truth, perhaps allowed herself to become somewhat old in outlook. Maybe it was time for her to start looking at things differently …
‘You were saying, Alice, about grandparents living with the family,’ Flora went on. ‘I remember that as well, but sometimes it isn’t possible nowadays. Most women go out to work as well as the men; a lot of them need to, to make ends meet. I was fortunate, but I can’t imagine how some of them manage to pay the mortgage and the bills and put food on the table. And maybe it’s impossible to look after an ageing parent as well. I know there are some that could do it, and don’t want to, but it must be a dreadful problem for a lot of people to know what to do.’
Alice was thoughtful. She remembered the times she had remarked to Jane that old folk were put into homes because their children couldn’t be bothered with them. It was dawning on her now that it was the sort of remark that a cynical embittered person might make. Was that what she was turning into? Was that how others saw her? Alice knew that she was outspoken, and she had prided herself on it, she had believed in being honest and saying what she thought. As they said in Yorkshire, she called a spade a spade. Her husband, Joe, had been born in Bradford and he was proud of it, but he had teased her by saying that his fellow Yorkshiremen had nothing on her.
Joe had been more tolerant, far less abrasive than Alice. Despite this they had lived together amicably and had had a good marriage. His tendency to live and let live had had a calming effect on her … most of the time at least. But since he had died the old Alice had come to the fore again, probably more than she had realized.
‘Alice … what’s up? You’re miles away, aren’t you?’ Her new friend was looking at her curiously. ‘I was just saying that it must be a hard decision for some sons and daughters to make, with regard to their parents.’
‘Yes, I heard you,’ replied Alice. ‘It was making me think of my own situation, mine and Joe’s, because we never had that problem. We were both working, and there was no way that I could have given up my job. But my parents, and Joe’s, stayed in their own homes right till the end. Goodness knows what we’d have done if they hadn’t been able to cope because neither of us had brothers or sisters; only children, both of us. But they all lived to a ripe old age, scarcely ailing anything. And then both my parents, and Joe’s as well, died within a few months of one another. We were fortunate, I suppose. We never needed to make any difficult decisions. Maybe that’s why I’ve … well … perhaps I’ve never understood what a problem it might be.’
‘It’s something I never had to face with my parents, either,’ said Flora. ‘What did you do when you were working, Alice, if you don’t mind me asking?’
‘I was a teacher,’ replied Alice promptly. ‘We both were, Joe and I. That’s how I met him, of course.’
Flora smiled. ‘Now why doesn’t that surprise me? I might have guessed you’d been a teacher.’
‘Oh dear! Is it so obvious?’ Alice grimaced. ‘I don’t know whether to be pleased or offended.’
‘I meant it as a compliment,’ said Flora. ‘You have that way with you – an air of authority.’
‘Bossy, you mean?’
‘No … Not standing for any nonsense, that’s what I meant. You don’t suffer fools gladly, as they say. That’s a daft expression, though, I’ve always thought.’
‘No.’ Alice sighed. ‘I dare say I’ve become a bit intolerant in my old age. It’s since Joe died, of course.’ She smiled reminiscently, and a little sadly.
‘You had a good marriage, then?’ asked Flora, quietly, ‘I can tell that you did.’
‘Yes, so we did,’ said Alice. ‘It was more of a marriage of minds, though, than … anything else. We only had the one daughter, Jane.’
‘And is she a teacher as well?’
‘Good gracious, no!’ said Alice. ‘She’d seen enough of it with the two of us. She attended the school that we taught at because it was near our home. So she never had any aspiration to follow in our footsteps. No. Jane works for the GPO. She was a clever girl – well, she still is – and she did very well as a counter clerk. She’s in charge of a sub post office now, near to our home.’
‘So there are just you and Jane living together?’
‘Yes, that’s right. Her husband, Tom, died two years ago. He was a grand fellow …’ And very tolerant of me, she thought to herself, but didn’t say. ‘His death was a terrible blow to Jane, but she seems to be getting over it now.’
‘So this holiday she’s on will be a nice change for her, won’t it? I don’t know her, but I hope she has a lovely time.’
‘Yes, so do I,’ answered Alice briefly. ‘She missed her father just as much as I did,’ she added, ‘but she was married to Tom by that time, so it softened the blow somewhat. Neither Jane nor I were young when we married, I was thirty-six. I didn’t think I’d get married at all. Not that I was all that bothered. I was doing the job I enjoyed. I’d always wanted to be a teacher.’
‘And then you met Joe,’ said Flora encouragingly.
‘Yes. He came to our school in 1955 as our new headmaster. He’d only trained as a teacher when he came out of the army, but he had what it takes and he soon worked his way up the promotion ladder. They were crying out for men teachers at that time. The war had taken its toll, and the fifties were the years of the ‘baby boom’; the post-war children all starting school. I was deputy head by that time, so we had to work closely together.’
‘That was at a school in Preston, was it? A junior school?’
; ‘Yes. juniors and infants, quite near to where lived with my parents. I did my training in Manchester during the first two years of the war. Most of the men teachers had been called up for war service, so there was no shortage of jobs for women. I was lucky, though, to get a post so near to my home. I didn’t see it as a disadvantage, living at home with my parents. It was convenient. Girls weren’t so anxious to fly the nest then and get a place of their own. So I stopped where I was, then I was promoted to deputy head.’
‘And then Joe came along.’ Flora prompted again.
‘That’s right. We got on well together right from the start. We didn’t fall madly in love or anything like that, but we knew we were … compatible. We were right together. Then he asked me to go out with him, and we started courting – to the amusement of the rest of the staff, of course! We both knew that. No doubt we were the subject of a few ribald jokes! They were all pleased for us, though, when we got married the following year. They bought us a lovely Royal Doulton dinner service. I’ve still got it, at Jane’s house. She was born in 1960, so I gave up teaching for a while. Then when she was five and ready to start school, there was a vacancy there, at the same place. So I went back, as an ordinary teacher, of course.
‘I’ve only ever taught at the one school. Not like today’s young teachers, seeking promotion before they’ve hardly got started, and wanting more money all the time. Joe retired when he was sixty, I was a few years younger, but I went at the same time. Yes, we enjoyed our retirement.’
She reflected that her retirement – in fact the whole of her married life – had been vastly different from that of Flora. She and Joe had never had any yearning to visit exotic places. They had toured around the British Isles in their family car. Jane had accompanied them until she was well into her teens, after which she had her own circle of friends. They had never been abroad, only once had they crossed the sea when they had gone on a coaching holiday touring southern Ireland. But Alice felt sure that they had been as happy, in their own way, as Flora and her Clive had been, jetting all over the world.
First Impressions Page 3
