by Cathy Quinn
"Tell me something, Gabriel," Alice played with her food, not quite sure she wanted to hear the answer. "Do you really mean what you said the other day, that people were lucky if they found someone they could actually tolerate for a whole year?"
Gabriel shrugged. "What do I know?"
"Don’t you believe in love? Not at all? I mean -- not even as something that could happen to some people, some of the time, if they’re very very lucky and meet the perfect someone?"
His grin was sweet and patronizing. "It’s a make-believe game. I’m not playing that game. Those three little words are not for me."
"You’re never going to say ‘I love you’?"
"Nope."
"But what if you do fall in love?"
The look on his face told her that would be somewhere around the resurrection of T-Rex. "I’d say it with flowers."
She ignored the dry sarcasm in his voice. "What kind of flowers? Roses? Sunflowers? Tulips?"
"Thistles. Hardy, persistent and impossible to uproot."
Alice stopped eating and stared at him.
"What?" he asked, squirming uncomfortably under her gaze as he reached for his glass.
"Oh, Gabriel," she sighed. "That’s about the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard."
Gabriel grabbed his napkin and narrowly managed to avoid spitting wine all over the table. "Don’t call me romantic," he coughed. "I’m not. I’m anything but."
"I have tears in my eyes from that description."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Drama queen", he muttered. "Jeez, Alice. Did you notice that I was being sarcastic?"
"Yeah, yeah, but when you find that perfect someone..." She sighed. "Now I’m jealous of your girlfriend."
"I don’t have a girlfriend!"
"Aha!"
Gabriel grinned. "Oops."
Alice smiled in a cat-got-the-cream fashion, but let it slide. She’d achieved what she’d wanted – Gabriel had admitted he did not have a girlfriend about to move into that upstairs bedroom. "I’m jealous of your future girlfriend. The one who will teach you to say I-love-you."
Gabriel coughed. "Okay. Enough. Can we talk about basketball now?"
***
"So," Alice asked provocatively as Gabriel had done the gentlemanly thing and walked her to the door. Fortunately the door to her apartment was not in direct view from the main house. She could make out with Gabriel without her parents watching. "What do you think? Kiss or no kiss on first date? What’s your view?"
Gabriel was standing one step below her on the stairs, but she still had to look up at him. She felt emboldened enough to loosely link her arms around his neck. Heck, what was one more rejection in the great scheme of thing?
"Well?" she pushed. "What do you say?"
His brows drew together and he stared at her with blatant distrust. "Depends on how the date went."
"I think our date went well enough to warrant a kiss, don’t you?"
He gave her a grim look. "Don’t push me, Alice. You’re way out of your league."
"Don’t be so sure."
He grinned and removed her arms from his shoulders. He raised one of her hands and briefly kissed it. "Goodnight, Alice. It was interesting."
Then he was waving as he jumped back into his car.
Alice leaned against the door and sighed as she watched his car disappear.
Little sister syndrome again.
She turned to the door and tried to dig her key up from underneath all the girly weapons in her purse. It was chocolate time.
But one thing was for sure. He hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off her all evening.
She grinned as she let herself into her apartment. The plan was working.
Gabriel didn’t stand a chance.
***
It was time for drastic action. Alice needed a guy. More specifically, she needed an H-man. Whatever happened, he had to make sure she moved past G and on to greener pastures before the last of his defenses crumbled.
If they hadn’t already crumbled.
After the day’s self-defense lesson, he sat down with his address book, and flipped through it looking for guys whose first name began with an H. He made a few phone calls, and then took a deep breath and drove around to Alice’s place with the happy news.
There wouldn’t be a happy ever after with this guy – he knew that. Howard was nice enough, but not her type. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to fix her up with anyone who might be her type.
Of course he wanted her to find someone and be happy – but he couldn’t quite face being the person who brought them together. He didn’t want to dig too deep and discover why that would be a problem, though.
All in all, he didn’t want to think too much at all.
The good news was that Gabriel had dropped by unannounced, which had to be A Good Sign.
The bad news was that he seemed to have some very strange ideas about the next step in their relationship. She stared at him, hardly believing her own ears. "You did what?"
"I found an H for you. You needed one, right? You’re up to H, aren’t you?"
"Yes, but—"
Gabriel flipped the hair out of his eyes and barged on. "Well, I’m serving you one on a silver platter. He’s a cool guy. You’ll like him."
"But..." I want you, she wanted to say. "Oh," she said instead.
"He works with me.... Used to work with me," he corrected himself. "He works at Dad’s firm. Howard. He’s a lawyer."
"Oh."
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "What’s the problem? He’s even at the right place in the alphabet for you."
"I never pictured myself with a lawyer."
"What’s wrong with lawyers? I’m a lawyer!"
"That’s different. You’re not lawyer-ly. I never pictured myself with someone named Howard."
"It isn’t his fault, Alice. His parents named him."
"But..."
"It’s just a date. One of twenty-six, right? I didn’t promise him your hand in marriage."
Okay. Fine. She’d have to continue being Miss Aggressive. "But, you know... I’m not all that interested in an H-guy."
"Prejudice against certain letters from the alphabet?"
"You could put it that way. You see -- I’m very interested in a G-guy." She watched him start to scowl. "And I know he’s interested in me, despite his protests."
Gabriel groaned. He rested his head in his hands and considered just giving in. He wanted to give in. It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t give in. It wasn’t natural for him to run in the other direction when Alice looked at him like that. But he had to. It was the right thing to do. She deserved better than him. She deserved someone who’d always treat her right.
"Alice, I’m not right for you. And hey, besides, Michael would rip my head off and stuff it down the shower drain." It was a weak excuse, and made him sound like a wimp, but he needed all the excuses he could get. No matter how flimsy.
"That’s the lousiest excuse I’ve ever heard!" Alice glowered at him. "Come on, Gabriel. I’m not stupid! Do you seriously expect me to believe you’re afraid of my brother? What’s going on here? Who is that bedroom for?"
"None of your business."
"Gabriel!"
"And hey, why shouldn’t I be afraid of your brother? You saw the way he looked at me when he caught us in bed together."
Alice snorted. "Hah. Don’t even try it, Gabriel. You’ll never convince me you’re afraid of Michael. Besides, he won’t try to rip your head off until we actually had sex. You’re quite safe."
"I see. So sex isn’t a part of the game plan then?"
Well – yes. But she definitely hadn’t planned on discussing it with fifteen feet of very tense air between them. If there’d be any discussion at all about the pros and cons of engaging in that particular activity, she’d planned to be plastered all over him and whispering lewd suggestions into his ear. She’d hoped to make him blush, because he looked so cute when he was blushing.
Two ye
ars of copyediting Susan’s column, ‘How To Make Him Squirm’ had taught her a thing or two. It was past time for some hands-on training.
His frown had disappeared. He was smiling now, damn him, and she knew it was because he just loved catching her off-balance. And he was looking at her with that teasing smile, head cocked, waiting for an answer. And she was the one blushing. Again. Damn.
"If you just want me to be a friend and a little sister, why do you keep flirting with me, Gabriel?"
That wiped the smile off his face. He looked down at the floor, and didn’t answer. She summoned her courage and walked towards him.
"Gabriel?"
Gabriel froze as she put her hands on his shoulders. What was she doing? He was trying so hard to be a gentleman, but she wasn’t helping. Had she no idea how difficult this was for him? He was doing this for her, damnit! She deserved someone better. Someone safe.
But now she was pressing herself against him, touching his face with those small gentle hands, and there was only so much he could take.
Gabriel?" he heard her whisper, through the rapidly diminishing fog of resolve. "Would you mind lifting me up on the counter?"
The question was surreal. He blinked. "What? Why?"
"Because I’m going to kiss you and even in these heels I’m so damn short I can’t reach you from here."
She smiled at him and her lips were rosy and soft, and that was it. In a split second he’d turned them around so that she was the one against the wall. He wasn’t gentle and he hated himself for being so rough with her, but he couldn’t help it. His hand tight in her hair, holding her head immobile, his other hand on the wall behind her. A tiny portion of him wondered if he was frightening her, but even that didn’t stop him.
For long seconds she was frozen in surprise, but then her body softened and leaned into his, her hands cradled his face, stroking his hair, running over his shoulders and her mouth opened to welcome him. With a groan he gave up the last remnants of control, cupping her head in both his hands. More, more, he needed all of her. She responded eagerly, and then her hands slid down his back, into the back pockets of his jeans and pulled him even closer. The sudden contact jolted him to his senses.
What was he doing?
More to the point: who was he doing it to?
Gasping for air he pulled away and before Alice opened her eyes he turned around, stalking away. He could feel her eyes on him all the way to his car, but he didn’t look back.
Chapter 11
"A kiss? Okay, progress."
"Progress? You call this progress? It was a total kiss-and-run. I tell you, there should be law against this sort of thing."
"Okay, slow progress," Susan conceded, "but still, progress. He’s never kissed you before, right?"
"No."
"And it wasn’t terrible or anything?"
"Terrible? No! Jeez, can’t you see the way I’m glowing? After one kiss?"
"Just asking. Hmm. And then he ran?"
"Yup. He thinks he’s being honorable. I’m not sure this qualifies as progress at all. It’s not very flattering to have a man running away from me all the time."
"He’s running. That’s the important bit. If he weren’t interested, he wouldn’t be running. He’d just shrug you off."
"He thinks he’ll hurt me," Alice complained. "Because he’s not exactly Mr. Commitment, I guess. I mean – I’m not expecting him to promise forever after."
"Hmm. Really? Weren’t you the person who wanted eternity? Side-by-side burial plots and all?"
"Of course I want that! But I’m not expecting him to rush out and order our color-coordinated wreaths just yet! I mean – commitment comes gradually. Right?"
"Have you talked to him since last night?"
"No. I called him, but he didn’t answer. I left a message on his machine though – saying thanks but no thanks to Mr. H – just in case he got any ideas about showing up with some guy in tow."
Susan cackled. "You have him on the run. I doubt he’ll be ‘showing up’ any time soon. You’ll have to do the chasing, hon."
"No problem," Alice grumbled. "I’m in practice."
"That man better be worth all this trouble."
"That’s just it," Alice sighed. "He is."
"Hi, Gabriel."
He grunted a greeting, but didn’t look at her. The gutters were much more interesting, especially since he was up a ladder, and if he so much as glanced Alice’s way, he’d see straight down her shirt, and he’d done enough ogling last night to last a lifetime.
Alice took a deep breath. Then she laughed. "That was quite a kiss yesterday."
He grunted again. What had he been hoping? That she’d become an amnesic overnight? Of course she was here. Of course she wanted to discuss that kiss.
"Yum," she said teasingly. "You’re gifted. If I’d known of this talent, I’d have kissed you years ago."
"Don’t read anything into it," he snapped. "I was just irritated."
‘Are you saying you kissed me like that just because you were irritated with me?"
"Yes."
"Wow," she breathed. "I’d love to find out how you kiss when you really like the woman. I mean, I’ve had my share of kisses, but nothing like that. It made me feel so... so..."
He climbed down from the ladder while he still could hold his balance. The way this conversation was heading, he might not know his up from his down in a few minutes.
"Made you feel so what?" he asked, against his better judgment. He knew how it had made him feel. It was nothing short of a miracle that he’d managed to tear himself away from her. It was another miracle he wasn’t dragging her to his bedroom right this minute.
"Well...I don’t know.... just.... alive, I guess. I couldn’t even go to sleep, I was so... "
Gabriel waited patiently, but she wasn’t finishing her sentence, just waving her arms in wordless gestures. "I know, Alice," he drawled. "I was also ‘so....’. You shouldn’t read anything into it. It’s physical. That’s all. No big deal. It was just a kiss."
"Just a kiss?" Alice snorted. "Don’t give me that. I know all about what ‘just a kiss’ is like, Gabriel, and that was not it!"
He shrugged, clenching his hand around the rusty old screwdriver he’d used to muck old leaves out of the gutters. He would not let her breathless words and wide eager eyes affect him. "You haven’t been kissing the right men. Thanks for the compliment, though. You’re not bad yourself."
She came closer, still staring at him with that wide-eyed look. "You kissed me like you meant it. Like I was the most important thing in the universe. It was amazing. So incredibly romantic." She touched his arm briefly. "But you’re right. I haven’t been kissing the right men. I should have been kissing you."
He swore, at her words, and her touch, trying not to relive that memory because he knew she was right. She had been the most important thing in the universe and if it hadn’t been for that overwhelming need to protect her – from him -- he’d never have been able to let go. He’d wanted her so badly he was still tingling from it.
After one blasted kiss. She was right, damnit. It hadn’t been ‘just a kiss’. It had been something else. Something he’d never come across before.
Obviously, he’d lost it. Any moment now he’d start believing in little green men. He steeled himself and forced up harsh words. He had to. If this went any further, sooner or later, she’d get hurt. "Don’t make me into a romantic hero, Alice. I’m not one. I never will be. I don’t do romance, I don’t do I-love-you’s or Valentine’s Day or any of that crap."
She shook her head. "I don’t care. That kiss was more romantic than all the silly candy hearts in the world."
"There was nothing romantic about that kiss," Gabriel growled. "Kisses aren’t romantic. That’s just a silly fantasy. Something for books and movies. Kissing serves a purpose. Crude and to the point, kisses are just a precursor to sex. They’re just foreplay."
Alice was gaping. "Foreplay? We were doing foreplay? Seriou
sly? Oh, wow. I hadn’t though of it that way."
She sounded ecstatic. Gabriel closed his eyes. This had backfired. He needed to stop talking himself into a corner. "Forget the damn kiss, Alice. It won’t happen again."
His eyes were still closed, but her scent told him she had moved closer. "Don’t you want it to happen again?"
"No."
"Liar."
"Yes. And I’ll keep lying until you believe me."
Her soft laugh tickled his chin. "You’re so sweet, Gabriel."
"I’m not sweet. I’m rough and inconsiderate. I hurt people’s feelings. I go to extreme lengths to avoid commitment. In your own words, I’m typical ‘scum’."
"Why do you keep putting yourself down?"
"Because that’s where I belong. I’m nobody’s hero, Alice. Don’t try to make me yours."
"Gabriel?"
"Yes?"
"The room in your house – it’s definitely not for a girlfriend, is it?"
His lids lifted, meeting her gaze for a moment before they closed again and he rested his forehead against hers. "You know there is no girlfriend."
"Who is the room in your house for?"
"Terrific grammar for an editor."
She touched the corner of his lips with her thumb. "To hell with my grammar. I don’t like the idea of having kissed someone else’s guy."
