by Navi' Robins
Instead of allowing the doctor to drive, they took the train to Wrigley Field. She’d bought two tickets to the game that morning, hoping a day out would help relax the Grinch sitting next to her on the train. This was her first time on the “L” train in Chicago, and after a few minutes en route, she found herself amused—and terrified—by the different characters that rode the train. Looking over at Daniel, he seemed relaxed and just gazed out the window, refusing to look at her or anyone else on the train, no matter how disruptive they were.
Once they reached their stop, they both stood up to leave, and as they walked out of the train, they passed by a group of young teenagers that looked at Ayana and immediately began belting out obscenities concerning her body. Like a light switch being turned on, Daniel came alive, turned around, and gave the teenagers a look that silenced them immediately. As the train doors closed, she noticed the look of fear in the teenagers’ eyes as they all stared at Daniel while the train pulled away.
Wow, what was that? she thought.
The train’s platform was overcrowded, and it was difficult to Navi’gate through the maze of excited Cub fans, so without thinking, Daniel reached for Ayana’s hand. With her hand firmly in his, he began to lead her through the massive crowd, down the stairs, and onto the busy streets of Wrigleyville. Ayana’s eyes lit up as she took in the entire scene that unfolded before her. There were bars and restaurants everywhere, all of them surrounding the vintage-looking baseball stadium known as Wrigley Field. The energy and excitement were palpable, and the music that blared out of the numerous bars made her want to get drunk and dance in the middle of the street.
She’d heard of the atmosphere of this national landmark and the undying fans’ love for the Chicago Cubs, but no words could describe the feeling she got while strolling hand in hand with Daniel. She felt like a child at Disney World for the first time. Yankee Stadium was a sight to behold, but it couldn’t touch the ambiance here in Wrigleyville. Daniel looked over at Ayana and smiled at her bright-eyed expression. She was peeking into every bar they walked by, admiring the interiors and the crowds that filled each one. Daniel didn’t want to take her to just any bar. He wanted to take her to the best bar, and nothing compared to the Cubby Bear here in Wrigleyville.
It was a beautiful day, and he decided to take her to the sun deck, so they could enjoy a few drinks and wait for the game to start. Two hours and several drinks later, Daniel and Ayana were laughing and having a great time together. Ayana, aware of the emotional barricades Daniel had built around himself, decided to keep their conversation light. She allowed him to speak freely about safe things, his work, his friend Timothy, and his love for the Chicago Cubs. There weren’t any distractions from anyone around them, and they both behaved as if they were on their own private island where no one could touch them. Everything that troubled Daniel seemed to fade away. The only thing that mattered was the present, and the great time he was having with this beautiful African princess.
Looking at his watch, he noticed that game time was quickly approaching, so they gathered themselves and slowly walked across the street to the ballpark. Daniel caught Ayana eyeing a stuffed bear dressed in a Chicago Cubs jersey and hat and stopped to get it for her.
It’s the least I can do for what she did for me last night.
“Here, just a show of my appreciation for what you did for me last night. Thank you!”
“Oh no, Dr. Bennett! Please don’t buy that for me. It’s cute, but I think it would be inappropriate for you to get that for me. If I want it, I can get it myself.”
Her statement immediately brought the doctor back to reality, and the blissful fantasy of the day was shattered. As he slowly put the bear back, he realized he’d allowed himself to relax. The disappointment of not being allowed to show his appreciation brought his attitude down, and suddenly, he didn’t want to be here anymore. For the rest of the afternoon, he was on autopilot while watching Ayana be unaffected by his mood. She was enjoying her first Cubs game while laughing and joking with the strangers that sat around them. He felt like a ghost in this social and feeling world, long removed from an emotional expression and meaningful human contact.
On the way home, Ayana kept staring at the doctor, trying to figure out what his problem was. To her, it was an amazing day, full of great food and a Chicago Cubs win. He should be feeling on top of the world, but he seemed down and angry.
“Are you okay, Dr. Bennett?”
Forcing a smile, he turned to her and nodded. He didn’t want to say a word. He just wanted to go home. He had been hoping that he was making a breakthrough with Ayana. The entire day leading up to the stuffed animal fiasco, he was finding himself drawn to her. He felt comfortable with her and caught himself imagining what life would be like with her. Daniel understood keeping things professional, but he thought that maybe she felt what he felt. Her reaction to his gesture made it clear that things weren’t as he wanted or seemed. He vowed never to allow his emotions to get ahead of him again. It was just safer for him that way.
Ayana wanted to talk, but he wasn’t in the mood, so he retreated to his bedroom. He’d been lying in his room watching TV for about three hours when he heard a light tapping on his door. Confused, he got up from his bed and opened his door to see Ayana standing there in her pajamas, with a pillow and her cell phone in her hand. From the way it looked, she intended to join him in his bedroom. Without saying a word, she smiled and walked past him and started fixing one side of his king-size bed to sleep on.
What the fuck?
The look on his face, like a deer caught in headlights, caused Ayana to giggle as she bent over to plug in her cell phone in the wall socket behind his nightstand. Her pajamas were plain and modest, but Ayana’s incredible body could turn a flag wrapped around her into sexy lingerie. Watching her bend over by his bed caused his manhood to respond immediately, and he quickly tried to twist his legs to hide his growing excitement. While still fishing for the socket behind his nightstand, she turned her head around, watching him watching her. She was struggling to find the socket, and the strained look on her face while bending over, looking back at him, sent Daniel over the edge, and his ecstasy could no longer be contained. His pajama pants a few seconds ago were covering his feet, but now, due to his excitement, they were ankle length, trying to make room for the growing and rising muscle between his legs.
Ayana, noticing his erection, nearly fell forward on top of his nightstand as she tried to stand upright. She’d temporarily forgotten the reaction her ass got from men when she bent over in front of them. Now, standing up facing him, she gave him a disapproving look while she glanced at his obvious arousal.
“Uh, Dr. Bennett, I want to make it perfectly clear that my reasons for sleeping in the same bed with you have nothing to do with you using that impressive, yet unwanted monster you have there. After last night, I think it’s in both of our best interests if I slept as close to you as possible to stop your attacks before they go too far. That’s all. No sex, no cuddling, grinding, or touching. You stay on one side of the bed, and I’ll stay on mine.”
With all that ass? Yeah, right, I’d like to see that mountain range stay on just one-half of my bed, he thought.
“I understand sharing a bed with me is going to be awkward, especially after seeing your reaction, but I’m sure we can work this out until you can have a good night’s sleep without an attack. We are both adults, right?”
That’s what I’m afraid of, he thought while nodding in agreement.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom . . . to . . . h-h-h . . . hand . . . take care of... get myself together,” he stuttered.
“Good idea. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Closing the door of the bathroom, Daniel walked over to the mirror and stared angrily at his manhood, still standing erect like a bridge between his pelvis and the granite top of the bathroom sink. He leaned forward and started banging his head on the mirror, trying to get the image of Ayana’s fully expa
nded ass and those light brown eyes out of his mind.
I’m so screwed.
Chapter 10
Change Can Be Traumatic and Orgasmic
The next day, Ayana decided to have lunch at a small and intimate café a few blocks from Daniel’s condo. The afternoon sun seemed to make everything sparkle and shine outside the café’s veranda, where Daniel and Ayana were seated. If it weren’t for the huge green table umbrella providing ample protection from the glaring sunlight, it would be difficult for either of them to see each other clearly. However, the protection it provided gave Ayana the eye contact she needed to read the doctor’s every emotion and reaction. She chose this public place for many reasons, but her main focus was taking full advantage of the lunch-hour crowd. The noise of the crowded veranda and traffic made it easier for their conversation to remain private as Daniel went into detail about his two-year experience in Sudan. The crowd also provided the illusion of distraction, which eased the doctor’s discomfort toward her. Ayana knew that he was physically attracted to her, and he was embarrassed and frightened by his desires. Feeling like they were on a date or alone would cause him to retreat within himself in an attempt to contain his sexual yearnings for her. The crowded veranda eased that fear and allowed the doctor the comfort he needed to speak freely.
Ayana remained silent as she attentively listened to his accounts of life in her native country.
“When I first arrived in Sudan, I didn’t know what to expect because my idea of Africa was so screwed up because of what we’re told in the US. I really didn’t know what I was going to have to get used to when I arrived. But as soon as my feet touched the African soil, a feeling of belonging came over me, and I don’t know how or why, but it felt like home.” She watched his reactions to everything he said to weed out the unimportant things.
“I was there for about three months when they brought Victoria to the village.” Daniel suddenly paused, and his face seemed to glow in the sun’s light as he smiled brightly, looking off into the distance. Suddenly, the smile vanished, and the clouds of pain returned. He momentarily closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
“She was so frail and sick,” he continued. “Many nights, I would stay up with her, giving her ice baths and checking her fever. She was in really bad shape. No one expected her to live past a week. But Victoria was a fighter, and much to our surprise, she pulled through.”
What Ayana noticed was every time he would talk about the little girl Victoria, he would look down at his plate and clench his hands tightly. Victoria seemed to bring out deep anguish that caused the doctor an extreme amount of internal guilt and pain. After listening to Daniel for almost two hours, Ayana concluded that this young girl was a very important, damaging topic, and her death could be the anchor that was holding the doctor back from reentering the real world. The connection between the doctor and the young girl must have been strong for her death to have such a lasting and violent response to his subconscious.
This was strange because, from her experience with other survivors, this level of guilt and pain was only associated with close family members or the biological children of the survivors.
Daniel continued to speak about Victoria, leading up to the day of the massacre, and the guilt he expressed was more like a father instead of the expected doctor-patient relationship.
I need to learn more about this little girl and her relationship with the doctor, she thought, while she continued to listen to him.
Once the lunch crowd began to dwindle, Daniel paid the waitress, and the two of them walked out of the café. He seemed emotionally exhausted, and as much as she wanted to delve deeper, she knew it would do more harm than good at this point. As they walked back to his condo, Daniel made sure to keep a safe physical distance from Ayana. He didn’t want to accidentally brush against her, sending waves of sexual desires through his body while aggravating her to anger. The other night, she made it clear she had no intention of ever pursuing anything beyond a professional relationship with him, and her bland demeanor toward him solidified her stance.
It had been almost a week since they’ve shared the same bed, and Daniel hasn’t slept much. Ayana believed she was making progress, but Daniel’s lack of violent dreams was due to his insomnia. It was impossible for him to rest while she lay next to him in a bed once cold, now invaded by the warmth of her beautiful body and intoxicated by the sweet smell of her body lotion. Every time she moved in her sleep, he would fantasize her moving closer to him, placing her warm, soft hands on his shoulders, inviting him to turn over and look into her longing eyes. Then she would lean closer to him as they would kiss, wrapping their arms and legs around each other in an explosive embrace of lust and passion.
He remained excited all night as he lay awake, trying to calm himself down. As the sunlight peered over the Chicago skyline, he would eventually start to fall asleep, only to be awakened by her movements again. Her vibrations caused his mental fantasy to replay in his head again, preventing him from falling back to sleep. Every night, he danced alone in this mental sexual Flamenco, and as much as he hated to accept it, he knew eventually he would have to start “taking care of himself” before lying next to her to get any ounce of rest. The thought of having to masturbate while sharing the same bed with this beautiful woman did some serious damage to his ego, but he understood and accepted his previous behavior was to blame for his current predicament.
Aside from his sexual torture, Daniel did feel a change come over him. He was starting to relax more, and he felt comfortable talking to Ayana about his time overseas. Unlike the other doctors and psychiatrists, she never said a word while he told his story. Even after he was done spilling his guts, she would just smile and remain silent, and then they would take a walk or do something else that would take his mind off his most recent verbal revelation. Hearing the words come out of his mouth, without anyone else assuming what he was going through, was a huge difference from what he was used to, and that difference seemed to be working.
Once they got into the condo, Ayana’s cell phone began to ring immediately. The first few times, she just smiled and ignored it, but after a while, she seemed worried and walked into the guest room to take the call. Daniel decided while she was in her room that he should try to “take care of himself” during her distraction. He felt it shouldn’t take him long at all because Ayana would definitely be his point of reference, and by the way she lit his fuse, he knew he might break a world record on speed of delivery. Smiling to himself, he quickly started for his room, and then behind him, he heard a loud whimper, and then her bedroom door swung open. Ayana was hysterical as she frantically ran in the living room, snatching the remote control and turning on the TV. Daniel turned around, concerned by her actions, and once he was close enough, noticed she was trembling as if she were locked away in a freezer.
Her attention was completely on the television, and she didn’t notice Daniel standing next to her. The TV screen was covered in devastation as black smoke and fire bellowed in the distance. The female voice narrating the disturbing scene was clearly British as she explained in gruesome detail about another village on the border of Southern Sudan attacked by Kronte’s forces. Daniel’s heart immediately sank as he looked at Ayana’s face filled with pain, sorrow, and tears reflecting the light from the TV. She was breathing heavily, and he could tell she was fighting with all her strength not to break down and lose herself in her sorrow and anger. The more the narrator revealed, the worse Ayana got, until the pain was so heavy on her that it forced her down to her knees.
She was now wailing uncontrollably and gripping at her dreads in an attempt to yank them out of her scalp. Daniel felt useless, as all he could do was watch her soul bombarded by the terror on the screen. He wanted to hold her, but he was afraid of rejection. How could he stand there, watching her break down and offer no form of compassion? His fear of leaving her alone in her pain began to outweigh his fear of rejection, and he slowly kneeled in front of her, blocking he
r view on the television. Ayana’s red and misty eyes, now blocked from seeing her family’s village burning, stared at Daniel. She was angry and confused at his decision to block her view from the television. However, looking in his compassionate eyes, she noticed his eyes were glossy and wet from fighting back tears that were determined to stream down his face.
Why is he about to cry?
Before she could try to rationalize his emotional state, Daniel wrapped his arms around her. His embrace was secure and warm as he placed her head on his shoulder. His emotional energy immediately began to transfer into her body as she felt the warmth of his soul. She could feel his compassion, strength, and concern for her, but most of all, she felt his love. His embrace was more than a physical gesture of compassion. He wanted her to feel and experience the emotional transference and connection. She slowly closed her eyes and exhaled. The longer he held her, the more relaxed she began to feel. Her tears were still flowing, but the weight of her sorrow and anger seemed to lighten as she shared her emotional turmoil with the doctor, and he received it without hesitation.
Feeling her embrace him back and relax in his arms warmed Daniel’s entire body, and tears began to roll down his face as he began to breathe slowly and listen to her silent weeping. For what seemed like a sweet eternity, both of these scarred souls remained in this deep embrace until the sun relinquished itself to the oncoming darkness of night. Eventually, Ayana pulled away and sat back on the floor, looking at Daniel smiling brightly. Her face, still moist from tears, seemed to radiate the same excitement she had when they first met in his office. She seemed pleasantly surprised at Daniel’s reaction to her. The doctor was unaware he was blushing, and even in the failing light, Ayana could see the warming of the blood in his cheeks. Her giggle made the doctor aware of his bashful expression, and he turned away. She quickly reached out, held his face in her hands, and turned it toward her. She slowly shook her head, and without saying a word, Daniel knew exactly what she was saying to him.
