by Stevens, GJ
I nodded, watching as she stroked the fake hair and a smile beamed, but just for a moment, her cheeks bunching as she rushed out her words. “She’s safe. With her gran.” I nodded again. “You have kids?”
Normally at this point in the conversation I would laugh and shake my head, dismissing the idea before changing the subject. But for the first time I didn’t reject the concept outright, and I felt like bursting with laughter, scared of the opposite emotion. You always want what you can’t have. It was out of the question now.
I shook my head and raised my chin.
“There’ll be a vaccine soon. Your daughter will probably be okay,” I said.
“How do you know?” she asked, looking up from the doll.
“They gave it to me and one of the women you saw me with,” I replied, nodding in the direction we’d arrived from. “And we’re both doing just fine.” I don’t know why I misreported the facts.
“How can I get it?” she said, letting herself down from the high stool.
I shook my head. “It’s not ready yet.”
“But...?” she replied.
“We’re the guinea pigs.”
She stared wide-eyed, a smile rising, and I heard the thrum of rotor-blades from outside. I turned back from the glass to where she still stared.
“They’re not interested in you. Are they?” she said.
I nodded just as the bass of the background sound rose in volume.
“But they are, aren’t they?” she said, looking to the ceiling.
I nodded. “They want to see how I’m getting on.”
“And to stop you telling people what’s happening.”
I raised my brow. “You’ve seen the broadcast?”
She nodded. “When will the cure be ready?”
I shrugged.
“Too late for me,” she said, and I watched as she lifted her dress, showing off the red stain on the white bandage just above her knee.
“But not too late for your daughter.”
She smiled, nodding as she took a step toward me.
“It’s suicide.”
“I’m already dead.”
I stepped to the side of the door.
“Thank you, Jessica Carmichael.”
“What’s your name?” I asked, raising my head.
“It’s Gemma,” she replied, nodding.
“Nice to meet you, Gemma. Go kick some ass.”
I pulled open the door and with the stench pouring from the street, she didn’t flinch, gritting her teeth as she charged a group of ragged creatures ambling toward us. Raising both arms high, the knife in her right and the doll in her left, she jabbed out with a high cry.
As the pound of a high-powered rifle shot filled the air, I turned, running the way I’d led Gemma from earlier.
51
LOGAN
It was as if the world woke when the shots came.
Rushing to our feet, we could do nothing but look on, switching my gaze between Cassie and the window with the crowd of creatures conflicted between those turning to the excitement at their backs and those who seemed intent on keeping the pressure on the windows.
Cassie’s eyes stayed wide as she took slow, considered steps from the corner of the room, slapping fallen tables from her path with her teeth bared like an animal. Like one of them.
When the shots stopped, the crowd beyond the glass were in chaos. Each seemed to move its own way, either slapping to the glass to claw at the fractures or turning away toward some other call, only to knock into one of their neighbours. Beyond the movement, the crowd thinned with a blur of motion, sending bodies flying.
Before too long the glass darkened with thick, splattered blood rolling down the windows like lumpy treacle.
I didn’t need to look behind to know it was Mandy’s scream rising above Shadow’s bark when a body slammed against the cracked window, sending the glass tumbling inwards to slap against the floor. The body stayed motionless, no matter how hard we stared.
Renewed light came through the space where the glass had been and with it the stench, so powerful it woke us from our collective trance, turning us to the movement beyond the gap.
Every figure lay motionless, spread across the car park.
At first I thought the helicopter must have sprayed the crowd with bullets as it came to our rescue, but I hadn’t heard the whine of the weapons.
Cassie stopped halfway to the gap with a chair leg in her right hand hanging loose at her side as she peered forward, stepping sideways toward where I stood.
With footsteps at my back, Alex guided Mandy at her side. Shadow halted his bark. Coming alongside, I looked left then right, convinced we all had the same question in our minds, but before I could give it voice, the room darkened and we each turned to the bloodied figure at the space where the window had fallen in, standing motionless.
Jess.
I should have felt an overwhelming fear, and I did, but only that Cassie’s fate would be the same as Jess standing in front of us. A fear she’d soon be drenched in the blood of her victims, her hair matted to her face and barely able to make out her features as she stared at a group of humans not knowing if they would be next. Could she control herself as Jess seemed to? Could she stop her unfamiliar urges from ripping those around her apart?
We stood for what seemed like an age, but when the deafening call from the helicopter blades came back into focus, I realised we had to do something.
Jess’s voice cut through the turmoil. “They did this to me. So we have to get the children back before they can do the same, or worse.”
Dropping the chair leg to the floor, Cassie stepped forward, working her way around the glass panel and stepping outside as if ready to take on the world.
Cassie said something, but I didn’t catch the detail, instead looking to movement beyond the glass at the far end of the room. A piercing call cut through the air, but to the sound of a muffled gunshot, the shadow slumped to the ground.
“We’ve got to go,” Jess said, turning back from the same direction.
Alex didn’t wait, seeming unafraid as she walked to Jess, motioning for Mandy to follow.
I stayed fixed to the spot. “We can’t run away from the helicopters.”
Jess turned back. “It’s not the soldiers I’m worried about. Their noise is drawing more creatures from all around.”
Picking a cloth napkin from one of the few tables still upright, I followed the others rushing through the gap and into the daylight which seemed so bright, bringing such vivid colour to the mess covering Jess.
As I stepped from the building, everywhere I looked the creatures who had lined the windows of our sanctuary lay torn, ripped beyond recognition and discarded all around, the ground slick with a sticky blood sucking at my trainers with every step.
I didn’t have to avoid the putrid scene for long. As I looked around, I saw soldiers dressed in black, counting nine coming from where we’d run. Each turned, twisting around to look with their long rifles. I caught sight of a figure on a roof overlooking the carpark, beside him another crouched with the length of a long barrel aimed in our direction.
The helicopter buzzed over where we stood, then vanished after taking a steep turn away just as quickly as it arrived.
Glancing at Alex taking in the scene as I had, but with a hard-faced look as if ready to go down fighting, I turned back to the soldiers as a group of three in the centre separated from the others, walking ahead of the rest holding their positions.
Each of the three looked to my side, two through their weapon’s sight, and I knew it was Jess they targeted. Who could blame them? I couldn’t help but follow their look to the woman so far removed from the preened image we were used to from the TV.
I stepped in the path between the three and Jess with my heart pounding in my chest, not understanding why I did it, other than it felt like the right thing to do. I glared at the three, not adjusting their stride towards us.
Staring at the small
group, I couldn’t see any difference in their appearance, barely able to see anything apart from between the lip of the black ballistic helmets and dark scarves covering their mouths.
Within two car lengths, the soldier in the centre held his gloved hand to the air, and I flinched back as he swung his rifle from his grip, slinging it over his shoulder to rest on the strap.
I couldn’t help but wonder why they hadn’t gunned us down yet. If I had a gun and looked on at Jess for the first time, wouldn’t I?
The middle soldier held his hands to the side, motioning to the ground. Without pause, each of those flanking him let their weapons down.
The centre man raised his hand to his mouth and pulled down the dark covering to reveal a clean-shaven face.
“I’m Major Thompson,” he called out with a measured volume. He leaned to the side as if trying to get a better look at Jess. “We don’t have time.”
I stepped from her path, knowing they could have just shot me out of the way.
“Don’t do anything,” I said, and Thompson looked my way, his eyes narrowing but losing focus as if distracted.
“Hold position,” he said, but not to us as he reached to a pocket at the front of his black jacket, pulling out a white envelope.
52
JESSICA
I read the writing as he drew it out, pushing it towards me. It was from Toni.
Proof she was still alive.
It was her writing, unless her mother had the same beautiful curl to the letters I’d always marvelled at.
The middle soldier, Thompson, stepped forward and I licked my dry lips, regretting the dried covering of rancid blood. I couldn’t wipe my mouth on my sleeve, there was no area of my body not covered in the same, or so much worse.
I turned to Logan in slow motion, my mind lethargic as if I was coming back from fainting. He held something out. A crisp white cloth. He raised a corner-mouth smile, and I took the napkin.
I saw the caution in the soldier’s narrowed eyes. I saw in his expression how unnatural it felt to approach me when he’d spent the last week filling walking dead bodies with lead. He didn’t want to show the apprehension to his men, his walk still strong and confident.
A major, I thought he said, but he wore no insignia or unit designation on the black uniform. He looked battle weary; fatigued by what he’d been through. I’d seen the look before, the tiredness behind the eyes, but I guessed most in the military would be the same by now.
I looked to the envelope, turning my head and staring at Alex. Raising my brow, I wanted to know what she thought I should do.
For a moment I marvelled at how I’d changed. I wanted her advice. I wanted to know if I should find out what the architect of all this pain wanted to say, or would doing so just make everything so much worse?
Alex's expression stayed blank as if she didn’t want to influence my decision.
Thompson stepped back as I took the paper, but with surprise he didn’t draw his weapon.
There was no doubt her hand had written it. My pounding heart told me so, or it could have been fear for what the letter would tell me.
Was she going to explain how I could stay alive and not be like this forever? Not need the taste of human flesh to be normal in between the hunger? Would I be able to control it? Could I switch it on and off when I needed? Maybe I’d already answered my question, and to those who’d been watching in the last five minutes.
I paused, breath halting for a moment as a thought flashed into my mind.
Were these soldiers here to observe what had just happened? Was this all just an orchestrated event? Had I passed or failed their test?
With anger growing, I looked up to the two figures on the roof. The long barrel of the high-powered rifle that alerted me to the peril turned away, moving as if I’d caught them looking where they shouldn’t. Then I saw a camera pointed in my direction, held by the guy at his side.
She did this. All of this and I’d proven to her she’d succeeded, and I knew what this was all about. I knew I was the missing piece.
I could control the thing inside me, like I would have to if I were on a battlefield.
I couldn’t read the note. To do so would be part of her plan and she’d somehow end up drawing me back.
It would all be lies to bend me to her will.
Turning the envelope on its side, I pinched two fingers to the edge, ready to rip it down the middle and throw it back in Thompson’s face.
53
LOGAN
“No.”
Alex called out, lunging forward and snatching the envelope from Jess’s hand. I watched as Jess’s eyes went wide, her lips curling to a snarl as the soldiers at Thompson’s flanks took a step back, bringing their rifles to bear, but Thompson held his footing, raising his palms at his side.
“Think of the children,” Alex said, her voice sharp, then softening as she pushed the envelope back into Jess’s hands. “They need to know if they’re okay.”
I looked to Alex, expecting her to shy back, but she held Jess’s gaze with her brow furrowed. Almost without pause, Jess’s snarl melted away, and the soldiers lowered their rifles.
A sorrowful smile settled on Jess’s lips as she relaxed, drawing a deep breath.
“It will all be lies,” she said, looking at Alex shaking her head.
“But it’s all we have,” Alex replied, taking a step closer and taking Jess’s blood-caked hand.
I couldn’t help but look away from what seemed like such a private moment. I turned to Cassie, staring on with a raised brow, gently biting her lip to show the first crack in her hard exterior since she’d woken this morning.
Turning back to Jess, I spoke almost under my breath. “Please.”
Jess looked at me, but then away, not settling in my direction.
I watched as Thompson peered around, murmuring into his helmet microphone. The soldier to the right stepped close to Thompson’s side and spoke, leaning to his ear.
“Five minutes to bingo fuel, Sir.”
Thompson nodded, but didn’t say a word as Jess looked to Cassie, then back to Alex before taking the envelope. Dried blood flaked to the ground as she slid her finger under the flap and pulled out a single sheet of paper, concentrating on the words we were desperate to hear.
My darling Jess,
To say I am sorry would not be enough, I know. By now you must have it clear in your mind. Your crazy, super-brain would have easily figured this out and I’m long overdue being honest with you.
I love you.
I know you loved me, but your other life took you away and I couldn’t live without you. For that I am so, so sorry.
You were right all along. It is my medicine. My formula, but not everything I told you was a lie. We found something very special, and it was a gift I wanted to give to you.
I knew you would be a match. I knew you would be the first to overcome the complications.
If you’re reading this, and there is no doubt in my mind that you have survived, then you are a very special person, but not just to me this time, to the world, because you have control over what you have become and, for that, humanity will be forever in your debt.
I need you to come back to me.
I need to show you how you can live like this without the bad parts. I know you understand.
Let these soldiers bring you to me on the Isle of Wight. You will be safe, and you can be by my side forever. Together we can live a new life.
We have much to talk about, much to work through, but I know you will do this for the greater good. That is what you do.
I’m sure you’re angry right now. I know you so well.
I hope you can forgive me.
Toni
P.S. I’m really enjoying having these wonderful children around.
54
LOGAN
Looking past the drying gore, I watched the pain on Jess’s face, despite her obvious struggle to keep her features straight as she read the page for a secon
d time.
Closing her eyes as she came to the end, the moment hung with just the sound of the helicopters in the distance and the tinny, far away voice I thought I could hear from the soldier’s radios.
“I’m going with them,” Jess said, keeping her eyes closed, but stepping toward her, Cassie gave her no time to explain.
“What about the children?” she said, leaning forward looking between Jess and Alex. “What does it say about them? About Ellie?”
Jess didn’t reply; instead, opening her eyes, she glared to Thompson.
Cassie turned to the soldiers and repeated the question. The soldier to Thompson’s left stared at Jess, whilst the one to the right turned his head to peer across the view.
“There’s no real mention.” Jess’s words pulled Cassie to look back.
“What does it say?” I asked, looking to Jess.
“It says I have no choice,” she replied, looking me in the eye.
“No choice but what?” Cassie butted in.
“To go with them.” Jess barely finished the words before Cassie spoke again.
“Where?”
“To wherever Toni is. The woman who did all this.”
“Doctor Lytham?” I said, my eyes bulging. “But that’s where we’re trying to go.”
I couldn’t understand why she didn’t look so much happier and I turned back to Thompson, but with the shake of his head I knew the answer.
“Just Miss Carmichael.”
“Fuck you. You haven’t even asked. Why don’t you get on the radio and find the fuck out,” I said, taking a step to Thompson. As I moved, the soldier at his left dropped his rifle to its strap and drew his handgun, pointing it to my chest.
Feeling a gentle pressure at my shoulder, I held back from taking another step forward. “Doctor Lytham knows us. She gave Cassie here the cure,” I said, glaring to Thompson, but he didn’t react. I turned back, catching Jess’s eye. “Don’t go with them.”
