by S P Dawes
Hayley was looking around the room; she didn’t know where to start. Walking into the bedroom, she noticed the police had been back to strip the bed. The detectivess had told her they were going back and said they’d likely remove her bedding to test, just in case. She shuddered at the thought. Opening her painted white wardrobe, she pulled out some fresh bedding.
When Jesse arrived at her door, it was six forty-five. She unlocked the catch and pulled it open.
“Don’t tell me I’ve missed the food?” Jesse said, holding out a bottle of wine to her.
Hayley took it and shook her head. “No, should be here soon though,” she answered, trying to smile, although he could tell she’d been crying.
“Good, I’m starving.” He ran up the stairs while she pushed the door shut and then followed. “Wow, you’ve made an excellent start,” he said scanning the living room.
Hayley had spent every second that she had been back, trying to clear the space of the destruction. Unfortunately, that meant throwing a lot of stuff in the bin. But having scrubbed the settee to within an inch of its life, with an almighty amount of elbow grease, she just couldn’t get it all out. She’d placed a plastic covering on the top, as it was almost sodden, and then a bed sheet over that to resemble a throw. Cream carpet flooring—ruined—was now a damp pink mess. A coffee table stood stripped of its varnish and the windowsill gleamed, even though the walls looked like a graffiti artist had had an accident with a paint can.
“Well, its original! Jackson Pollock would be proud.”
Hayley couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, don’t. It looks terrible. Tom’s coming round tomorrow to get the locks changed. When he sees this, he’ll go spare.”
“Tom?”
“Landlord.”
“Yeah, I can’t see him being too impressed with the new feature wall.” Hayley glanced at her surroundings with a renewed level of grief. Shaking her head, she took two wineglasses out of the cupboard.
The bang at the door meant the food had arrived, so Jesse ran downstairs to retrieve and pay for it. Walking back in, he held a white bag full of transparent plastic containers, and a receipt stapled on the outside. Hayley placed some plates on the table alongside the cutlery as Jesse dropped the bag down on it. Taking a seat on the sofa which squealed underneath him, they both looked at each other and started chuckling.
“Christ! It’s like being in a sixties sitcom,” stated Jesse humorously. Attempting not to laugh, Hayley dished up their food while Jesse rummaged around on the settee, making funny noises on the plastic covering. If he was trying to cheer her up, it was working.
Hayley turned the television on with the stained remote control and flicked through the channels until she found ITV. “Something on you want to watch?” she looked up at him, feeling embarrassed for turning it on. She hated silence; it had always unnerved her since she was a child. Before Jesse had arrived, she’d had the radio playing to fill the void, but she’d turned it off to answer the door.
“It’s OK, I’m not bothered,” he said after seeing concern wash over her face.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.”
Jesse bent down to her as she sat on a picnic style towel on the floor. “Seriously, I was joking.” Hayley looked into his eyes and felt something in her chest give. Unsure what it was, she looked away self-consciously.
He darted his eyes away and leant back in the chair. Unsure what had just happened between them, he tried to think of something to say to lighten the mood. After a few minutes went by, they began eating their Chinese takeaway and discussing the X factor contestants’ abilities. Jesse was relieved to have got over the awkwardness.
After they had eaten, Hayley gathered the plates and tubs, taking them into the kitchen. She had been in there for a while when Jesse began to worry. Walking to the door, he saw she had her back to him, as she looked out of the window, with her arms folded across her chest. He could tell by her breathing and the slight shaking of her shoulders, she was crying, even though she wasn’t making a sound.
Suddenly feeling like he was imposing, he silently turned back to the front room and sifted through the stuff she’d dumped in the corner. He had an overwhelming feeling to wrap her up in his arms, but he barely knew her and his head told him to steer clear. He hated seeing her so upset. When he’d arrived, he could tell she had been crying and all he had wanted to do since then was make her smile. But it seemed no amount of fooling around would ease the stress she was under.
Hayley turned the tap on before splashing water over her face. If she just cooled it down, it might not look like she had been crying. She couldn’t believe how quickly her emotion had overtaken her. Patting her cheeks dry with a tea towel, she re-entered the front room. Seeing Jesse rifling through bags at one end of the room warmed her heart. Grabbing a bag from her side, she started clearing rubbish and hoped he wouldn’t notice her little breakdown.
Jesse looked up when she was busy trying to rub paint off a photo frame, with a bottle of Turps and an old tea towel. She hadn’t spoken since she’d re-entered. Apart from the television playing in the background, the silence was unbearable. Shuffling through the bag in his hand, he found a willow figurine of a child in the arms of a woman. Turning it around, he saw the paint had splashed over their heads and down the woman’s dress.
“My mum had one.”
When he looked up, he could see that she’d been watching him.
“It’s nice,” he said, not really having much interest in ornaments. That was more his mother’s thing. Watching her smile forlornly and then turn away. Jesse could tell that everything had its own memory. Pieces of her heart were wrapped up in the things she owned. She was finding this entire experience far too painful. Who would do this to her?
“You shouldn’t be doing this in your work trousers, they’ll get filthy,” said Hayley a few moments later, observing the flecks of paint on his black work trousers.
Jesse laughed at her concern; he’d just spent the best part of three hours in the woods with a very grouchy Martin after finding out the coffee machine in the garage on the way there was unusable. Martin had had to put up with a can of coke, but apparently it did nothing for his grouchiness towards the cashier who’d refused to make him a coffee from the kettle in the back office.
“I’m serious.”
“I know you are. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I said I’d help.” He watched her smile, but her eyes looked sad. That overwhelming feeling to hold her, engulfed him again. He wanted to take away all her pain. Trying to shake it off, because he had no idea where those feelings were coming from, he carried on sifting through her belongings for retrievable items.
A couple of hours passed while they dumped irreparable items and tried to salvage those they could. Growing weary, Jesse poured more wine into their glasses. Hayley had found another bottle of wine in her cupboard when the first one ran out. Neither of them was too worried about it not being chilled; they were hardly connoisseurs. Handing Hayley, the glass of wine, she smiled her appreciation.
“You’ll be all right, you know,” he said before tasting the wine.
“I’d like to have your confidence...,” she sighed, taking her drink from him, “but the way this week has gone...” she ended doubtfully.
“So, you had a close encounter with a nutcase at a party. You escaped over a fence. Your workplace was ransacked, and you got a couple of days off work. Your flats been destroyed...”
“Which part of this is supposed to make me feel better?” Hayley asked, interrupting him, as she eyed him over her wineglass.
“I was going to say, but then you met me. Knight in shining armour, saved you from the dragon, slayed the bush, and now I’m doing my Cinderella bit with all this cleaning.”
“Worried you’ll turn into a pumpkin?” She laughed.
“Did you not hear the knight in shining armour bit?” He laughed, watching the twinkle in her eyes.
“Oh no, I got it all, but I can’t remember any armour,” she answered, te
asingly. “Or dragon.”
“Yeah, but that bush was lethal. Almost shredded me,” he laughed. “Besides, the dragon was far too scared to come out and fight. But if I hadn’t pushed your arse over that fence? Well, who knows what would have happened?” In the time it had taken to speak, he’d somehow moved closer to her, and she had to tilt her head back to see into his eyes as they penetrated hers.
“If you say so,” she answered, clinking her wineglass against his and walking back over to the remnants of the fourth bag. Her proximity to him did something to her, and she wasn’t sure that feeling should be explored. She still had her secrets, and they weren’t suddenly going to fade away. “Anyway, you seem to forget I’m the scarlet woman at work too. Now I’m just left wondering what tomorrow will bring?” said Hayley glancing down at her wineglass and wishing she could find the answers at the bottom like her father had tried. Though she knew in reality, the answers never came. The promises were always weak and the dedication to get there, relentless.
“That means it can only get better, right?” Asked Jesse, taking a step closer to her.
Hayley laughed pitifully and took another sip of the pinot noir. Maybe tonight those answers would be at the bottom of a glass after all. “Things come in threes, right?” She answered, raising the glass above her head. “Here’s to getting better!” Sure, she was slurring her words. She giggled as her head swam.
Jesse ate up the space between them and took her glass from her fingertips. Placing it on the sideboard, he watched her watch him. He could tell her breathing had changed simply by the speed of her breasts moving up and down. Her slightly flushed face, he was sure, came from more than just the wine. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“You’re going to be OK,” he stated, looking deep into her bright blue eyes.
The feelings from earlier came over her again, but this time she wasn’t in control of it. Partly because of the wine, partly because of the way he was looking at her. Placing her hands on either side of his face, she pushed up on her toes as he lowered his head, holding each other’s gaze until their lips met. When their lips touched, Hayley felt her whole-body melt under his presence. Eyes closed; she felt his firm hands hold her sides. Everything in her body screamed, warning her to stop, but something in her heart pulled her forward. Feeling his tongue dance with hers was like nothing she had ever experienced. When his hand moved to her back, she was swiftly reminded of her history.
As though lightening had struck, she pushed him away, stepping back before turning away from him. Shaking, she ran her hands through her hair, trying to regain some kind of composure.
Jesse, realising they had both drank too much, knew he hadn’t meant for this to happen. He’d genuinely wanted to help her get sorted out. He had felt sorry for her. But it was more than that. Something drew him towards her when everything else told him to steer clear. Whatever it was, had rewarded him with a taster and like a starving man, he wanted more. But her reaction concerned him. He could tell she was fighting demons and battling herself. She wasn’t in control and right now she was desperate for independence. Him being here was sending all kinds of warning signals.
Seeing Hayley so conflicted, twisted his guts. The way she pressed up against him felt too good to dismiss, but the look she wore now felt a lot like rejection and fear. This attraction between them was intense. The kiss was everything he hadn’t thought he’d ever crave, but now he was bereft. It was clear she didn’t want comfort, whatever had happened in her head, had broken any type of connection they had made. He just hoped he got to try that out again someday.
Pushing him back, she could tell he didn’t understand. She didn’t understand. Feeling terrible, she had turned away from him in an attempted to calm her breathing down. She’d led him on, made him think she was an easy target. She’d let down her guard and then turned him away. He had every right to be angry with her. She was angry with herself. She had no idea how she was going to handle this, the last thing she wanted was a fight. How had he made her feel like there was nothing else in the world but them? That was dangerous and stupid! Really stupid!
Something inside her liked him, but she wasn’t ready. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t forget everything else and pretend she was normal, not even for one night. He’d see. He’d want to know what happened and once he did, she’d have to watch the light go out in his eyes and then leave. She couldn’t handle that type of rejection. That’s why she didn’t let things like this happen. Nick had been a mistake; a fling to make her think she could get past all the horror. One she paid dearly for, but there was no way out of this.
How could she let herself get close to a guy she barely knew, a criminal at that? Hayley took in another deep breath and blew it out slowly, trying to level her blood pressure. Turning, she watched the confusion and hurt filter across Jesse’s face, making her feel guiltier by the second.
“I’m sorry,” she said, stepping back. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It was my fault,” Jesse answered, trying to work out how they’d got to this moment. He didn’t really understand why it was anyone’s fault, he thought they had made a connection, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was just too soon for her? Perhaps she was lying about something or at least keeping a secret. Was she married? Was there someone else? There was no evidence of a man in her flat.
The last thing he wanted to do was scare her, so picking up his blazer from the settee, he glanced over at her, and smiled forlornly, before leaving.
Hayley slumped down on the sofa, cursing herself for being an idiot. She was so vain; she’d allowed herself to lower her guard. He’d looked at her like she was the world and she had believed it. How stupid could she be? He’d looked at her as though he could see straight through her, deep into her soul, and she’d allowed it. She had to stay away from him. It was too dangerous.
Jesse walked over to his car. Opening the driver’s door, he looked up at the window; he knew belonged to Hayley’s flat. He could see flashes from the television screen. Throwing his blazer over to the passenger’s seat, he climbed in.
Unsure about what to do, he laid his head back on the headrest. It didn’t feel safe leaving her alone. She was in trouble, someone was out to hurt her, that much was obvious. He just didn’t understand why or who? He’d spoken to DC Turner when he’d got back to the station about the paint job at Hayley’s, but David hadn’t been able to shed any light on it. Just that he thought something was underlying, but they’d done the place over when they returned and had found nothing of interest.
Jesse couldn’t shake the feeling off that something was wrong. He liked her. He knew that much, but he wasn’t the type of guy who fell for damsels in distress, just to make himself feel better. When Hayley wasn’t running from some lunatic, she was normal, shy, quiet, but funny and intelligent. He could have a laugh with her, share moments of peace and still feel like the room was alive.
Rob had told him about the rumours surrounding Hayley, but they just didn’t seem to add up. Nothing made much sense around her. He was sure that all she wanted to do was get on with her life and be left alone. Whoever was trying to scare her, though, didn’t look like they were going to give up. All he could think was that she must have pissed someone off, big style, and if the bloke at the supermarket had anything to do with it, he would need to speak with him, set a few things straight.
Glancing up at the flat again, he saw Hayley drawing the curtains, looking upset.; She didn’t see him, so he just watched as the lights went out and the bedroom light flickered on.
Cranking his seat down as far as it would go, he tried to get comfortable and closed his eyes. Yeah, he wasn’t leaving her alone tonight; besides he’d already drunk enough to send him over the limit. That could be his excuse.
Chapter 5
The early hours of the morning brought bright light streaming into his car, blinding him.
Screwing his eyes up and feeling for the visor, he pulled it down to stop the
glare. Moving his seat upright again, he tried to focus. Looking up towards Hayley’s flat, the curtains remained drawn. His mouth felt grainy, and he knew it stunk without testing it, because his tongue resembled that of an old carpet. Pulling his keys from his pocket, he slammed them into the ignition and fired her up.
When he got home, he slung them on the side near the back door and made his way upstairs. Attempting to get a few more hours’ sleep before having to get ready for work, he took his shirt and trousers off, slinging them on the floor. A pet hate of his wife’s, but he just did it to spite her now even though she wouldn’t see it; it still somehow, felt like a rebellion. Lying down on the bed, he closed his eyes.
Two hours later, Jesse’s phone alarm rang out. Still feeling rough, he knew he’d have to live with it. After jumping in the shower, he reached the kitchen wearing only a bath towel. His Mum smiled before rolling her eyes.
“I’ve got an early start,” he answered, turning back to the toaster.
“You OK, son?” His dad asked from where he sat in his old, worn, comfortable armchair that they’d all tried to remove from the house at one time or another. Crossword on his lap with his glasses perched on the end of his nose, he looked over them to study Jesse as he entered the living room.
“Yeah, just whacked,” he sighed, scanning the room.
His dad nodded before informing him that Rob had rung the previous night, saying he couldn’t get hold of him.
“OK, I’ll call him later,” grabbing his deodorant, he ran back upstairs, checking his phone. Rob had phoned six times; he’d forgotten he’d left it on silent whilst he was at Hayley’s. Shutting his bedroom door, he rang his brother and held the phone between his ear and shoulder, pulling his socks on while he waited for him to pick up.
His bedroom was small and had changed little since he was a teenager, but then he’d moved out when he was twenty and only returned six months ago. His room comprised a double bed, green velvet curtains his mother had chosen before he’d moved back in, and a light maroon carpet. There was also a chest of drawers where a television stood on top, with his childhood wardrobe to the left of his bed. To say it was sparse was an understatement, but it held all he needed until his life was back on track.
