Before I go on leave, I need to hire another agent. Interviews start tomorrow. Normally, I would have Blake screen them first, but instead, I had my secretary do it. She’s called all the references and done background checks. All I have to do is ask them the questions and make a decision. Five candidates, one job.
“Go ahead and send in the last one, Sarah,” I say into the intercom as I shuffle things around on my desk, looking for the folder I need.
So far, the candidates have been good, but not great. I’m looking for something more. I can’t put my finger on it, but I think it’s more about the person and less about the job they’ll be hired to do. They’ve all been qualified, but they were not whom I’m looking for to represent the agency.
“She’s on her way in, Mrs. Collins,” Sarah calls just as I find the folder.
When the door opens, my jaw hits the floor. Aubrey is standing there, a pitiful look on her face, but dressed for success as usual. She takes a tentative step into the room, closing the door behind her.
“You have a lot of nerve, Aubrey.”
“You’re right. I do. After what I did to you, I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me to go to Hell and kicked me out right now. But I’d like to talk a little before you do that. At least, take a look at my references, see what I’ve been doing. I think it might surprise you.”
Feeling a twinge of sorrow for being so rude to her, I motion for her to take a seat and open her folder. She’s been busy the last few years. She’s made a great name for herself. Her references are impeccable, and she has three glowing letters of recommendation.
I only have one question for her. “Why? Why do you want this job?”
“I want to work here because this is by far one of the most highly sought after companies to work for in the industry. You and Blake do it all. You have your own magazine, a list of highly visible clients, and a line out the door of people that want you to represent them. More than anything, I want to make amends. I want to apologize for everything. If you’ll give me the chance, I’d like to prove it to you.”
“So you want my business?”
“No. I want to be a part of your business. I want to help it grow even more and succeed.”
The girl in front of me is not the same girl I used to call my friend. She’s changed, matured. She’s grown into what appears to be a caring person. What would Blake say right now? Would he want me to give her a second chance or kick her out? I wish I could ask him because I’m not sure what I should do.
What I do know is life is short. If I hold onto this grudge forever, I may be missing out on the person Aubrey’s become today. I want to forgive her, to give her a second chance, but it’s going to take time. If she’s here, working under me, we’ll have nothing but time.
Crawling into bed, I cuddle up to Blake’s pillow and inhale. It stopped smelling like him a few weeks ago. I broke down that night, crying until after the sun rose over the horizon. It’s here I feel closest to Blake. In the bed we used to make love, where he used to hold me while we slept, and comfort me when I was sad or ill.
I haven’t talked to him in a while, and tonight feels like the right time.
“Hey, baby! Sorry, it’s been a while. I’ve been staying pretty busy. Between work, construction, and the girls, it’s kind of crazy around here. So, I have some good news for you. We’re having a little boy. I know we laughed about it, but I’m going to name him Blake. Only a few more months, and he’ll be here. I wish you had been there with me during the ultrasound. Your face would have lit up like a Christmas tree when she told you it was a boy. I can almost see it now.”
Closing my eyes, I pause, focusing on the way Blake’s face use to look when he was excited about something. I remember the way his eyes would start to sparkle and his smile would seem as if it stretched from ear to ear. Blake had a great smile.
I tell him about a few other things and that I love him. Just before I start to drift off, I tell him about Aubrey, her interview, and bringing her on as our newest agent. I hope he understands my decision. More than anything, I hope I don’t regret my decision.
Once sleep consumes me, he’s there, waiting for me, just like he always is. The storm has passed, there are puddles everywhere, and Blake is holding my rain boots. It’s my favorite time of day, jumping from puddle to puddle, holding my husband’s hand, without any fear in my heart.
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Always in my Heart
Chapter One
Day one.
The moving company is unloading the truck. I watch as onlookers stare as they move box after box up the stairs to my dorm room. I begged my parents to let me do it myself, but they refused. Having a moving company is the equivalent of a neon sign in my opinon. “Rick girl moving in.”
I thank the moving guys and watch as the truck pulls away. There are still a few people standing around, watching my every move. I can feel their judgmental eyes on me. It bothers me because this is the stereotype I wanted to avoid. I need this fresh start.
Instead of heading up to my room, I take a walk. I head in the direction of the dining hall. The hall is only two buildings away and I’m in need of something to eat after the long flight. I grab a bottle of water and a muffin and head back to my room. Tomorrow is going to be a big day for me. My first day as a college freshman. Not to mention the other things I need to get done.
I wanted to arrive a few days ago and get settled, but my parents insisted that I fly out this morning. The bookstore will be my first stop. I’m sure the line is going to be horrendous. After that, I need to head to the car dealership. My parents wanted to make sure that I had transportation so they bought me a new car. I offered to drive my car here, the brand new car they bought me two years ago, but they wouldn’t allow that. Too dangerous. Finally, I want to make a trip to the grocery store. This is a new addition to my list after seeing the selections offered in the dining hall. I’m a picky eater and as much as I could stand to lose a few pounds, I might wither away if I don’t pick up a few groceries to keep in the room.
I stop at the mailboxes on my way up to my room. I pull the envelope out of my purse and slide it in the outgoing mail slot. It should reach him faster now that I’m on the east coast. A day, maybe two. It depends on how often they pick up the mail. I can’t imagine it’s a daily task. I slide my key into the slot and open my mailbox. I pray that there’s a letter waiting for me, but I find it empty. His last letter still has me on edge. I’m starting to question everything. It was the first time I felt completely disconnected from him. If a letter can make me feel that way... what’s really going on? He promised to always write me back. He promised to always tell me the truth. This is the first time he’s broken a promise to me. My imagination runs wild at the different reason why. I silence the crazy thoughts and try to focus on the present. I have enough to worry about. His letter is not at the top of my list today. It can’t be.
I walk up the two flights of stairs to my room. Room 201. A one room, two-bed dorm that I’ll share with another girl. A girl that I’ll meet shortly I’m sure. I find my room easily. I requested one on the end so that it was a little bigger. Sliding the key in the lock, I listen as it disengages and then push the door open. It’s exactly what I expected, only smaller.
I close the door behind me and as I’m standing in the middle of the room, I give myself a much-needed pep talk. I think I’m ready for this. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for the last two years. Getting out of Pacific Grove and starting my own life. One that re
volves around something other than people with money. I love my family, I enjoy the fact that I’ve never had to want for anything in my entire life, but I also hate being known as the plastic surgeon’s daughter. Or, the rich girl. Everyone I went to high school with was from a wealthy family. Why was I the rich girl?
If I had to guess, it would be because there was nothing else about me that was interesting. There was no other way to describe me. Nothing else that defined me as a person.
Baggy jeans and a t-shirt were my standard wardrobe. Tennis shoes or flip flops depending on the weather. No makeup. Who was I trying to impress? No one. I didn’t play sports and I wasn’t part of any clubs. I didn’t have time. Aside from Elliot, I didn’t talk to anyone. I kept to myself. I kept my head down, worked hard, got good grades and focused on getting the hell out of there. That was my goal. Get into Yale, move across the country and find a way to start over, to reinvent myself.
The first part is going according to plan. Here I am. A freshman at the prestigious Yale University. On the other side of the country from the only place I’ve ever known as home. I didn’t think I would miss it as much as I do right now, but I’m attributing that to nerves. That’s the only thing I can think that it is. Unless it’s the fact that I’m about to meet my dorm-mate.
My parents threw a fit when I told them I wanted to live in the dorms and have the full college experience. They were ready to shell out a boatload of money to buy me my own condo or flat. I thought about it for a second but knew that I would become a recluse if I allowed them to do that for me. I can’t let that happen. I need to broaden my horizons, according to Elliot, and meet new people. I think that’s why he chose Cambridge instead of Yale. He knew that if we were here together that I wouldn’t try to make friends. He’s been my only real friend since we were kids. I’ve always had him, so I’ve never needed to have other friends.
Elliot and I grew up next door to each other. When I say that we were neighbors, I mean that in the sense that we had a football field of yard that separated our houses. We use to call it our own private playground. It was partially wooded so we had plenty to explore growing up. His little brother James use to follow us around and spy on us with his friends. I always thought it was cute, Elliot didn’t.
Elliot’s the middle child. Luke was a year ahead of us in school and James has one year left then he’ll join Elliot at Cambridge. I’m an only child. Just me. Always flying solo, no annoying siblings following me around or telling me what to do. I always hoped that my mother would change her mind about having another kid, but it didn’t happen. Thinking about Elliot and Luke makes me smile. I remember the good times that Luke and I had before he left. I think about the times Elliot almost caught us. My favorite memory has to be the night I snuck out his bedroom window. I came over earlier that night, while Elliot was out with Kylie. The plan was for me to leave before Elliot came home and we lost track of the time. We had no idea he was even home until he knocked on Luke’s bedroom door.
I almost screamed and blew our cover. Luke covered my mouth before any sounds came out. If Elliot hadn’t broken up with Kylie that night things would have gone according to plan. Instead, Luke ended up playing video games with Elliot that night and I ended up climbing out his window and spending the night alone in my room.
I hear the door handle jiggle, metal slides against metal and the door opens with a pop. I stand, leaving a dent in the mattress of the bed I had been sitting on. My bed, I think. Her things are already on the other side of the room. There’s your typical Einstein poster on the wall above the headboard. Boxes are stacked in front of her dresser. We said that we would meet at 5 o’clock today to head to freshman orientation together. Glancing down at my watch, I see that she’s five minutes early.
We are going to get along great.
A short, brown-haired girl with a huge smile on her face comes rushing towards me before I have the chance to move. She wraps her arms around me in a hug and squeezes as hard as she can.
“Reagan!” She squeals.
“Hi.” I’m trying to be polite, Elliot said that I needed to be polite and friendly when I meet Felicity, but I hear the uncertainty in my voice. I’m uncomfortable.
She lets me go and studies me for a brief second. I’m in my standard uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. I have sandals on today because I knew it would be stifling on the plane. I push my glasses back on my nose and smile a tentative smile at her.
“Wow. You look really nervous right now.” She pauses and I can’t help but smile at her blatant honesty. “Are you ready to check this place out? Orientation starts in a half hour so we have time to roam around before we head to the student center if you want. I’ve been hanging out in the library most of the day so I can at least show you where that is.”
“Sure.” I’ve seen the library. I’ve been to the student center. I won’t have a problem finding my way around campus. My parents and I took a tour when I came to visit last fall after I was accepted for early admission. I don’t want to spoil it for her though so I let her lead the way.
Felicity talks my ear off until we reach the student center and orientation is under way. She’s a bright girl. She’s here on a full ride scholarship. Even I wasn’t able to do that and my grades were top of my class. I’m glad she’s here, though, and I can’t wait to tell Elliot about her. I’ve been instructed to call him tonight and tell him all about my first day on campus.
I think he worries about me too much. I can handle this. I can make new friends. I can become the person I’ve always wanted to be but have been too scared of becoming. No one knows me here yet. I can be whoever I want to be. I can reinvent myself to the ends of the Earth and back if I want to. The only person who would even notice a change is Elliot and as much as his opinion matters to me, I need this. He knows that. I need this time away from home for me. To become who I want to be.
Felicity and I walk around campus after orientation and talk for hours. We both need to unpack, but it’s the last thing on our minds. I spot a coffee shop and practically drag her inside. I place my order and let her step up to the counter. She doesn’t order anything and I can’t help but ask her why.
“Not a big coffee drinker? I thought I saw a coffee maker in the room.”
“No, I love coffee. It’s just...”
Her voice trails off and she doesn’t finish her sentence. I don’t push her because I can see that whatever I said has hit a nerve. I grab my coffee when they call my name and we walk back to our room in silence. Felicity immediately starts unpacking her things, stuffing her drawers full of clothing with her back to me. I open the first box I see and pull out the framed pictures that I had sent. What I didn’t think to bring was a hammer and nails so that I could put them up on the wall. “Hey, do you have a hammer and a nail that I can borrow? I didn’t even think to pack one.”
“I didn’t bring one either. Sorry.” Her voice cracks as she apologizes.
“What’s wrong? If we’re going to live together we need to talk to each other. I’m not really good at this sort of stuff, but I am a good listener.” I walk toward her and take a seat on her bed. “I can tell that something is wrong. Did I say something wrong at the coffee shop? I’m really sorry if I did.”
“It’s not that,” she whispers. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a bitch.”
“Then sound like a bitch. I promise to forgive you.”
Felicity turns and I can see that she’s been silently crying. Her face is blotchy and red, tear stains running down both sides. What the hell did I do to this girl? I want to hug her, but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do or not.
“I’m not rich.”
“So. What does that have to do with anything?”
“We’re the opposite of rich. Literally the opposite. I wouldn’t be here if everything wasn’t covered. I need to find a job so that I can buy things like coffee or snacks to keep in here. My parents can’t help me at all. I have five siblings at h
ome that they need to provide for.”
I feel bad for even walking into the coffee shop now. I forget that not everyone has a trust fund or a bank account that will never drop below a certain amount. Not everyone is as lucky as I am in that department.
“Without trying to offend you or sound like a bitch,” I pause because that causes her to smile, “I don’t care that you’re not rich. I do have one rule, though.”
“What do you mean you have a rule?”
“The only rule about living with me is this... if you ever need anything, big or small I don’t care, and you can’t afford it, you will ask me. My parents are the nicest people on the planet. Money doesn’t matter to them as much as happiness. We are blessed to have money and they would be pissed at me if I let you go without. Understood?” She thinks it over for a second before she nods her acceptance.
I have a feeling that she’ll never ask me for anything but the offer is there if she ever needs to take me up on it. Plus, I need someone to go out with if I ever get the nerve up to go out.
She stands and throws her arms around me. Apparently now is the time to hug. I’m going to have to remember that.
Imperfect Love Story
5… The number of years since I’ve been home.
4… The number of people who know my secret.
3… The number of times I attempted to move on.
2… The number of months I spent crying after I left.
1… The number of men I’ll love in my lifetime.
They say everyone has one true love, one person who was made just for them. A person they were meant to spend the rest of their life with.
For me, that person was Wyatt.
Waiting on Someday Page 22
