“I want,” Hawk said.
“Can I go?” Riley’s bright blue eyes were pleading. “Pleeease?”
“There’s always room for a pipsqueak,” Hawk said, “but I should go check it out first. I think your other big brother might be exaggerating. So, Jesse … who else knows about your fishing hole?”
“Just me. A man and white-haired lady were wading in the river, but I don’t think they paid me much mind.”
“How about you show me this place tomorrow after church?”
“It’s gonna cost you.” Jesse wore a playful grin. “Hey, I’m a businessman.”
“So what’s your price?”
“A ride down to Evans’s Sporting Goods,” Jesse said. “I want to spend some of my savings on a lighter rod and four-pound test line.”
“Before or after we go find the fishing hole?”
“Before.” Jesse folded his hands on the table. “It’s nonnegotiable.”
“Done.” Hawk looked over at Kate and winked. “We’ve definitely got too many business heads in this family.”
t
Liam heard the grandfather clock strike eight, and watched Colleen pick at the veggies on her plate. He had stifled his own emotions and managed a believable show of support as they searched for their mother. Colleen verbalized optimism that she would surface alive and unharmed, but he could see her resolve slipping. He just hoped their mother’s body was discovered soon so they could get the autopsy over with, give her a proper burial, and proceed with dividing up the money. His worst fear was that her body wouldn’t be found; and without a death certificate, the inheritance money would be on hold indefinitely.
He blinked the stinging from his eyes. He had done the only right thing. Nothing would ever make him believe otherwise. Ending their mother’s life was more compassionate than letting her live out her days at the Alzheimer’s hospital, babbling to strangers about the snippets of a life she could no longer remember.
“Liam?”
He was suddenly aware of Colleen’s voice and realized she was standing next to him.
“Are you done?” she said.
He glanced at the half-eaten chicken breast and baked potato. “I guess so. Sorry I didn’t finish. It’s not that it wasn’t good.”
“That’s okay. I’m not hungry either.” She started to take his plate, but then lowered it back to the table and flopped down in the chair next to him. “What are we going to do?”
Was that a rhetorical question, or was she actually expecting him to answer?
“It’s only been a few hours,” Liam said. “I’ll bet someone from the sheriff’s department will call any minute, saying she’s been found.” Why was he giving her hope? He should be preparing her for the grim truth.
“I don’t have a good feeling about this.” Colleen sighed. “Let’s split up this time and go look for her again. If we don’t know something by bedtime, I think we have to file a missing person’s report.”
“Agreed.” Liam gently gripped his sister’s wrist. “But I’m going with you. I don’t think you should be alone.”
“Probably not. I can’t just sit around here. I have to keep trying.”
“Sis”—Liam paused until she looked at him—“I know it’s hard to talk about this. But we need to prepare ourselves in case this doesn’t have the ending we want.”
Colleen shook her head. “I’m not ready to have this conversation. Let’s just go look for Mom, okay?”
“Sure,” Liam said softly, both dreading and hoping for the moment when they would get the call that their mother’s body had been found. Would seeing Colleen heartbroken trigger the release of the pent-up emotion he fought to contain? Or would he be so focused on not raising suspicion that his emotions would be shut down and he’d have to fake a strong reaction?
Liam took in a slow, deep breath and let it out. Then did it again. Regardless of whether his performance was felt or contrived, it would have to be believable.
t
Liam sat in the chair in his bedroom, staring out the window into the darkness. The stars no longer looked to him like diamonds on black velvet, but more like a million shards of broken glass crushed on the floor of heaven.
He and Colleen had come back from tonight’s futile search and filed the missing person’s report. The detectives had no trouble believing their mother had wandered off because she’d done it a number of times before.
Had he acted prematurely by taking his mother’s life? It was a desperate move. But someone had to step up. It would have been unfair to sentence her to live out her days in emotional isolation, lost in some inner maze of mixed-up thoughts and incomplete sentences. No caregiver from the Alzheimer’s center could give back her memory or her dignity. All they could do was make her hopeless existence comfortable in order to justify the high cost of keeping her there.
Liam blinked away the last image he’d had of his mother before he held her head under water.
“Who’s gettin’ baptized?”
“You are, Dixie.”
He had used something sacred in order to deceive her in those last seconds. At least he got it over with quickly. He wondered if people in heaven knew how they had died. If so, his mother would surely thank him for ending her life before the disease rendered her subhuman.
Liam wiped a runaway tear from his cheek. Colleen always contended that every human life had value because God made it. But God hadn’t made his mother without a memory. Disease stole it from her. She had been intelligent, clever, creative. Vivacious and bubbly, gracious and hospitable. She never knew a stranger until the Alzheimer’s took hold. Half the time she didn’t even recognize him or Colleen. Or remember her own name. How did that glorify the Creator?
Liam got up and stretched his lower back. Why was he arguing with himself when he needed to rest? The stress of sitting eye to eye with Deputies Duncan and Hobbs and filing a missing person’s report while trying to look more worried than guilty had taken everything out of him.
Colleen still held fast to the hope that their mother was merely lost and would be found unharmed. She called the prayer chain at her church, and someone set up a conference call so that everyone on the prayer team could pray with her. That seemed to calm her, and she finally went to bed.
Liam had all the answers. So why was he wide eyed and staring into the darkness? He eased back into the chair and heaved a sigh. What was done was done. His mother was at peace. Half of the inheritance money would soon be his. What he had to do now was avoid raising suspicion. He needed to be a comfort to Colleen as they grieved their loss. Later on, when he finally got his share of the money, he would use it to get out of debt and buy back his independence. That was the best way to honor his mother.
Chapter 3
Kate sat with Elliot at an umbrella table on the back deck at Angel View Lodge, enjoying sweet mint tea and relishing the magnificent panoramic view.
The warm September breeze toyed with her hair as she looked out at the pristine expanse of earth, water, and sky. Beaver Lake, the color of blue lapis, sparkled beneath the lush Ozark hills, forming a maze of inlets and islands as far as the eye could see.
Sunday’s azure sky was generously dotted with cloud puffs that cast shadows across the green hills. Soon all that rolling green would become a patchwork of crimson, orange, purple, and gold.
“A penny for your thoughts,” Elliot said.
Kate moved her gaze to him. Elliot’s thick salt-and-pepper hair was neatly in place despite the playful breeze, the twinkle in his steely-blue eyes an indicator that he was delighted to be in her company.
“I was just thinking that I’ve never taken this view for granted,” Kate said.
Elliot nodded knowingly. “It was smart planning that you and Micah included so many huge windows and decks at Angel View.”
“It was his idea,” Kate said. “Micah
had it figured out right down to which trees needed to be cleared to open up the view. He wanted to make sure every guest was privy to this incredible vista. In his mind, stewardship and ownership were synonymous.”
Elliot squeezed lemon into his mint iced tea and stirred. “I’ll say one thing, you’ve done a remarkable job of running this place by yourself. That’s no small feat. I’ve seen what’s involved.”
“Dad’s been a great help,” Kate said. “The kids too. Carrying on the family business has helped them cope with losing Micah.”
“He’d be proud of how y’all pulled together.” Elliot seemed far away for a moment. “Have you ever thought about hiring someone to manage Angel View?”
“Not really.”
“You want to work this hard forever?”
Kate smiled. “What else would I do?”
“Spend more time with me.”
“Am I neglecting you?”
“Not at all. I just love spending time with you, and I wouldn’t mind more of it.”
Kate shifted her weight. “We’ve both got businesses to run, Elliot.”
“Yes, but now that corporate’s running Stafford Lumber, I don’t need to be involved in the day-to-day operations.”
“Well, I do. I don’t have that luxury.”
Elliot’s gaze collided with hers. “My point exactly. Wouldn’t you like to turn loose of some of the responsibility so you could just kick back and enjoy life?”
“I’m enjoying life just fine. But even if I wanted to slow down, I can’t afford to hire someone to manage the lodge. I’ve got kids to support.”
“What if”—Elliot ran his index finger through the condensation on his glass—“you didn’t have that responsibility anymore?”
Kate was suddenly hot all over. She was not ready for this conversation.
“Darlin’, when are you going to get serious about where we are in our relationship?”
“I am serious,” Kate said. “You know that.”
“I know we love each other.” Elliot reached over and took her hand in his. “But anytime I try to talk to you about the future, you shut down. Maybe we should talk about why.”
“I just like things the way they are—for now.”
Elliot sighed. “Look, I get it. It took me years to get over Pam’s death. I don’t mean to push you. It’s just that I love you so much. I’m ready to spend my life with you. Every time I bring it up, you seem to turn me off. I’d like to understand why.”
Kate kept her eye on a great blue heron flying toward the lake. “I’m not still grieving Micah, if that’s what you think.”
“I would understand if you were. It’s just coming up on two years since you learned that he was murdered.”
“I did most of my grieving during the years he was missing. I had accepted that I would probably never see him again.”
“Then why do you resist talking about our future together?”
Kate took her free hand and fiddled with the lemon wedge on the rim of her glass. “I’m not sure. Maybe I’m afraid of losing you.”
“Of course you are. I feel the same way about you. But do you think if one of us died, the pain would be any less intense had we not gotten married?”
Married. Why did the word make her squirm? “Probably not,” Kate said. “But, for now”—until I can think about marriage with joy instead of panic—“I’m comfortable with things the way they are.”
Elliot kissed her hand, then let go.
Kate leaned forward on her elbows and waited until he looked at her. “Can you just be patient until my emotions catch up with yours?”
“Sure.” He flashed a warm smile that belied the disappointment in his tone. “I’ll wait for as long as it takes. I just don’t want there to be any question in your mind what my intentions are. I love your kids too. I would never try to replace Micah, but I’d love a crack at being a stable male presence, especially for Jesse and Riley. Jesse’s just a year away from being a teenager. And even though he and Hawk are close, Jesse really needs a father figure.”
“I know. And he adores you,” Kate said. “He told me yesterday that he thinks we should get married.”
“Really?”
“Abby and Hawk have said basically the same thing, in more subtle ways.”
“How about Buck?”
Kate felt the corners of her mouth twitch. “Dad’s hinted a hundred ways to Sunday that you’re perfect for this family.”
“And what about you, Kate?” Elliot seemed to look right into her heart. “What do you think?”
Kate started to feel as if she were cooking from the inside out. Was she having another hot flash or just feeling overwhelmed?
She reached down and snatched today’s church bulletin from the side pocket of her purse and started fanning herself. “I think the love we have is real and deep and is only going to get better. That doesn’t mean it’s God’s timing for us to get married now.”
“Apparently not, since we’re not on the same page.” There was an uncomfortable half minute of silence, and then Elliot said, “Well then, let’s talk about your cookbook.”
Kate laughed without meaning to. “Are you still on that kick?”
“I can’t remember seeing the kids more excited,” Elliot said. “This is the first real opportunity we’ve had to see how we can work together as a family.”
Kate was suddenly aware that most tables on the umbrella deck had been vacated. She glanced at her watch. “We can talk more later. Sunday brunch is over. I should go check with Savannah and see what our customer count was.”
“You want to take a paddle boat out later?” he said. “We’re not going to get many more weekends like this one before it’s too nippy on the lake. I promise to keep the conversation light and just enjoy being with you.”
“Sure, I’d love it. I think Abby and Jay are going out too.” Kate stroked Elliot’s clean-shaven cheek. “I shouldn’t be long here. Why don’t you go change clothes and meet me back at the house in thirty minutes? How does that sound?”
Elliot winked. “Like a plan.”
Kate stood, then walked down the wooden stairs and inside through the side door of Flutter’s Café, feeling at the same time relieved and trapped. Why couldn’t she talk to Elliot about a future together? They were just as suited to each other as she and Micah had been. Was she afraid Elliot could never measure up to Micah? That no one could? Sometimes she wondered if she had put Micah on such a pedestal that her memory of him was skewed.
t
Jesse sat with his legs dangling over the side of the large, flat rock that jutted out over the Sure Foot River, Hawk sitting next to him.
“I hope you weren’t exaggerating about how great the fishing was.” Hawk nudged Jesse with his elbow. “We’ve been here almost an hour and haven’t had a bite.”
“Just wait”—Jesse lifted the Razorbacks cap he wore and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand—“the fish are gonna turn on, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.”
“If it’s as good as you say, I’ll be surprised if that couple you saw yesterday doesn’t show up over here with all their friends. Where’d you see them?”
“Over yonder.” Jesse pointed to the other side of the river. “But they weren’t fishing, just wading in the water. I think the man was teaching the lady to hold her breath.”
“Pretty stupid to be wading in the Sure Foot,” Hawk said. “The undercurrent’s been known to drag a man down.”
“I never do it ’cause Mama’s warned me not to ever since I was a kid.”
Hawk laughed. “I got news for you, Bubba. You’re still a kid.”
“You know what I mean.”
Hawk pulled the bill of Jesse’s cap down over his eyes. “I’m just razzing you. So where’re the fish?”
“They’re here. And when
they get hungry, look out.” Jesse put his hat on backward and looked out over the ripples. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think Mama should marry Elliot?”
“That’s a loaded question.” Hawk reeled in his lure and pitched it out again. “Doesn’t matter what I think. It’s her decision.”
“Do you think she wants to?”
“All the signs are there,” Hawk said. “I’d bet a dime to a doughnut that Elliot does. But I don’t know if Mama’s ready to remarry. Losing Daddy was traumatic. You were too young to remember.”
“I remember Mama being sad and depressed all the time. Now she smiles a lot and is cheerful. It’s easier for me to feel happy when she’s happy.”
Hawk nodded. “I hear that.”
“So tell me straight … do you think they should get married?”
Hawk was quiet for a few moments, and then said, “If I knew it would make Mama happy, I’d be totally on board with it. Elliot’s a great guy. Seems natural having him around.”
“What’s Mama waiting for?”
“You ask too many questions. Doesn’t your mind ever stop working?”
“Nope.” Jesse’s bobber disappeared and he jumped to his feet.
“Got a bite?”
“Something’s playing with my line. Come on, take it …” Jesse didn’t move an inch, his heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his temples. A second later, his line went taut and without even thinking, he reeled down and yanked up on the line. “I got him! Oh man, feels like a big one!”
“Doubles!” Hawk’s fishing rod was nearly bent in two, his grin wider than the Sure Foot. “Now that’s what I’m talking about. You might’ve found us a new favorite spot. Let’s hope those folks you saw across the way didn’t realize what you found. We need to keep this a secret.”
Chapter 4
Raleigh County Sheriff Virgil Granger, still dressed in his church clothes, walked up on the wraparound porch of his Victorian home, a plastic grocery bag in one hand. He smiled at the orange tabby cat that perched at the front door.
Only by Death Page 3
