by LJ Swallow
Heath stands. "I half wish you hadn't come with us tonight."
"I told you, I had to. I feel better now I've killed him—demons. I feel like I can do what I'm created for."
The following silence fills with low voices from the other room and nobody looks at me. Created. Well, I was, but how?
"You're still a human girl, Vee."
"No. I'm the Fifth," I say through gritted teeth. "And I'm your equal."
"I don't think you are." I spin around where Xander stands in the doorway between the kitchen and the lounge, arms holding onto the top of the frame. His T-shirt rides up, revealing rock hard abs I'm unfortunately drawn to stare at. He's lost some of the anger that blackened his face into something frightening, but stress surrounds him still.
My ebbing anger flows again, as I ready a stream of unpleasant words to throw at him.
A muscle twitches in his cheek, the amusement grating further. "I mean, I think you're superior to us, Vee."
"Oh." The word rushes out with a surprised breath, but of course, he has to back his words up with something negative.
"But right now, you're new to us. We need to figure all this out. Tonight was step one. Until then, you have to accept we're going to treat you differently to the way we treat each other." He pauses. "You’re too human still."
A stand-off ensues as I hold his look, refusing to back down into the weakness he seems to think underpins me. I stride towards him so my next words aren't audible to the others. He drops his hands from the frame as I approach.
"It's not my fault you're intimidated by me," I whisper. His features remain unmoved. "Or threatened? Is that it?"
Xander's focus stays on my face, and I'm aware in the silence the other guys must watch us. He runs his tongue along his bottom lip. "Neither."
I don't say the next word, but my raised brow replies: you're a liar. "Wait until I give you all the details about what happened to me tonight. Then you might change your tune."
I turn back to the curious looks from Heath, Joss, and Ewan.
"Can we leave now, Ewan?"
15
VEE
My first time on a motorcycle terrifies me. Ridiculous, considering everything that's happened to me in the last few days, but I am. I dressed in jeans and a dark jacket tonight, nothing too bulky for my extracurricular activities. Apparently this isn't warm enough for a bike ride, as Ewan removes his leather jacket and insists I wear it. I spend the journey engulfed by his coat, clinging to him with my face buried in his back. Or as buried as I can manage considering I'm wearing his heavy helmet. At least this gives me an extra barrier between the world storming passed my head.
I'd ask Ewan to slow down, but he'd never hear me.
My arms barely fit around his broad frame, his powerful back muscles tensed as he speeds along country lanes. My—his—jacket is unzipped and his T-shirt presses against me, his body beneath warming mine, and I wish I could place my cheek against him.
At the house, I attempt to climb from the bike like a seasoned professional, but Ewan needs to help me stand on shaky legs, then assist with the helmet I struggle to unstrap with my cold fingers. My hair's damp with perspiration, and I suck in the fresh night air.
"Wow, you look like you really enjoyed that," he says sarcastically.
I stand with his jacket sleeves hanging over my hands, like a little kid trying on adult clothes. "My first time."
"Serious? Why didn't you say, and I could've been gentler?" He bites his lip. "I would’ve slowed down a bit until you were comfortable."
Was that a hint of innuendo? Unable to ready a comeback, I stride towards the farmhouse. The house holds a hominess I never expected, and it’s a relief to be in a sanctuary away from the monsters in the night. Heath's joke about "geeking out" echoes, and the temptation to pull out my laptop and switch the world off grows as I follow Ewan into the cool kitchen. I shrug off his jacket and place it over a chair.
"I need some Horseman fuel," says Ewan and grins as he opens the fridge and takes two bottles. "Joss bought you some cider."
I stare at the second bottle in his hand. "I was kidding about that. I'm not really into drinking."
"Yeah, I noticed that when we went to the W—" He cuts himself dead as I turn my look to the floor. "Yeah. Anyway."
"Maybe I'll have that cider." I take the bottle.
We stand awkwardly, yet again, and I pick at the label on my bottle. "So, did you hear the news?"
"What news?"
"Apparently I have everybody’s power." I swig as Ewan stares at me. "I only had a chance to tell Heath before we left."
"Holy crap." Ewan grips his bottle. "How do you know?"
I explain to Ewan, the same way I told Heath, attempting not to show how scared I am by everything. But instead of sharing Heath’s stunned reaction, Ewan nods.
"I thought so," he says as I finish. "Makes sense to me why we’re so glued to you. If you have a piece of each Horseman’s power, you have a piece of us. We need to protect you the way we would ourselves."
"But I thought I just amplified your powers."
"So did we, especially after what happened with you and Xander at Portia’s. This is a bloody big shock, and I can’t wait to see Xander’s face when he finds out he was wrong."
"If it means Xander has extra ammunition at his disposal, I’m sure he’ll be fine."
Ewan shakes his head. "Your humour never fools me, Vee. I don’t need to be Joss to see how worried you are by this. Since we came into the house, you haven’t stopped fidgeting, and you’re tenser than I’ve seen before." He points at me. "If you grip that bottle any harder, you’re going to break it."
I pull out a chair and sit. Ewan stands, arms crossed, lips pursed. "What?" I ask.
"I wonder why you didn’t demonstrate my power?"
"Maybe I didn’t need to tonight?" I suggest.
"Or maybe you feel closer to the other guys." He looks passed me and drinks slowly. "Because we’re kind of distant, aren’t we? Even you and Xander, however much you clash, there’s a closeness. Heath, he’s the guy you first met, and I think that makes a difference. Joss helps you a lot. You’re close to him. Me? I’m a reminder of what happened to you the other night. I can't help you in the way Joss could right now."
"That’s not true, and I don't need Joss to make me feel better."
Ewan rubs his mouth as he studies me. "But you're different towards me after the night at the club, Vee."
Our eyes meet for more than a few seconds for the first time in days. "So are you."
"I didn't tell the guys about the incubus attack, like you asked."
"I know. Thank you."
Ewan runs a hand across the top of his head, hair messing further, and his capped sleeve slides to reveal more tattoos. "I feel like you blame me somehow."
"I don't blame you," I say in a low voice. "It's just... things are odd."
"Because the incubus looked like me?" he blurts.
I'm caught in his steady gaze, in the concern behind his green eyes. Initially, I took Heath to be the sensitive guy with his care and attention, how he spoke his mind with a need for me to understand him. As the days pass, Ewan's nature becomes plainer. He's moody, yes, not as sensitive to people around him as Joss, but his quiet nature holds deeper thinking. I remember the first day, when he insisted on telling me as much as he could—or was allowed.
"There's a lot we never spoke about, isn't there?" I ask him.
He pulls out a chair and sits beside me. "Things fucked up between us."
"Did they?"
"Yeah. I was the one who told you about... your lack of a past." I smile at his term. "Then I'm a reminder of the night a demon assaulted you. Both times I failed to protect you."
I reach out and curl my fingers around his. "Tonight I looked after myself. I'm fine."
His face is lined with worry as he looks back. "You need to accept you’re our number one priority, which is why I’m struggling here. I feel I have to apologi
se for something I didn't do." His heavy brow deepens. "I would never have touched you and kissed you like that."
I swallow down my disappointment and pull my hand away. "Never?"
"I told you the first day we spoke why I couldn't."
I slide my hand down Ewan's arm and lace my fingers through his again. He looks down in surprise and rubs his thumb across the back of my hand, the pad rough against my soft skin.
"You have this all wrong," I whisper and look down at where our hands connect. "There’s a different reason why I'm finding it hard to be around you. I know the demon wasn't you but..." I trail off.
I need to say the words, to admit the truth lighting up every time I look at Ewan and the exact reason why.
"I wanted the person who kissed me to be you, Ewan. I saw the way you looked at me when we left the house for the club, and nobody ever looked at me like that before."
He gives a rare smile, one that spreads to his eyes. "Nobody ever stared at your drop-dead-gorgeous body? Yeah, right. I thought you couldn't lie?"
"No. But the way you did was different. It wasn't just 'appreciating the view.' You looked me in the eyes too, and there was something different, like a respect."
"Or a reverence?" he says with a laugh. "You're amazing and I crave you. To be around you. Horseman thing," he corrects.
My chest flutters at his words, at how his fingers grip mine tighter.
"And now... everything's confused. When the memories seep in, they're your hands and mouth on me; you're the one making me feel as if I can switch off from this, escape somewhere else, even if it’s just for a short time." I stare at his mouth. "You’re the one I wanted that night. Want now."
Ewan’s dark-eyed look winds around my heart. "You make your own decisions, remember?"
I reach out and touch Ewan. His stubble's longer than Heath's is making his face rougher against my fingers. Hair dips into his eyes and half-curled strands touch his ears. I attempt to quash the effect he has on me, to deny this is human as well as supernatural, but there's no letting go of the physical attraction.
In a moment ruled by my body and not my brain, where I fool myself this is merely a supernatural connection, I move my face towards his.
"I do," I whisper.
Ewan's large hand grips the back of my head, fingers digging into my hair and he rests his head on mine. "Think about this, Vee."
"I am," I mumble and move my lips closer.
He closes his eyes the moment my breath mingles with his, unable to escape the effect.
"I need you to replace the false you with the real one." His uptick in breathing tells me what I need to know. He understands exactly what I mean. "Ewan, I've spent days imagining what this would really be like with you."
I tense as his grip on my hair tightens, forehead firmly against mine. "Why?"
"Because I think you want me, too. And I want to do this. With you."
I climb onto Ewan's lap and his dark eyes edge between surprise and lust. My legs rest either side of his hips, and he holds my ass hard against him. I expected a rough kiss, but when our mouths meet his lips move gently against mine before he teases his tongue into my mouth. I grasp his head hard as he digs his fingers into my thighs, and deepens the kiss.
The streaming memories and emotions between us match those I felt with Heath; the experience amplified beyond the physical I felt from the fake Ewan’s kiss. His touch and taste pull everything tight inside, arousal as instant as if he’s flicked a switch. I want comfort, but different to that Joss gives. I’m loved by these men, and right now, I need to let go of my control around them and take our physical connection to the next step.
Am I high on my new powers? Liberated by the fact I’m stronger than them all? I don’t care because this feels right.
We remain, bodies interlocking and mouths unwilling to part as we release the frustration we have with each other in tugging lips, nipping skin, and long, hard kisses. I tip my head back as he lands kisses along my neck, hands sliding beneath my shirt and along my side.
"We're alone for how long," I whisper, fingers lost in his hair.
"They'll contact me first." He nods at the phone, but he's disoriented by desire the same as I am. "We're fine."
I hold his broad shoulders, and he circles my weight in his arms. "Are we?"
The unspoken passes but I say the words anyway, the one that changes our dynamic forever. "Yes. We are."
Still he hesitates, a characteristic I never expected from the guy with his powerful bulk and edgy look. I yank his T-shirt upwards; Ewan grabs the collar and pulls it over his shoulders with one hand. I watch the movement, at muscles moving under his skin, and the honed magnificence I stared at in the kitchen days ago revealed again.
Holy hotness. This is why I fantasise about this man.
Ewan's kiss and touch unleashes, and I'm suffocated by the passion pouring from his body into mine. We struggle with clothes, mine following his T-shirt onto the floor, until I'm naked apart from my underwear as thin barriers between us.
I straddle Ewan again, and his erection pushes against his jeans, between us; I unashamedly rub myself against him. His rough denim scrapes my skin in the same way his scruff does, shooting heat and a welcome ache through me.
We pause, and I wrap his face between my small hands, holding onto the moment. My body aches, the heavy feeling between my legs growing. Ewan cups my breast, and I shiver as his large thumb pushes across the peaked nipple. He closes his mouth over, teasing with his tongue. His gentleness doesn’t match the forceful need growing inside me.
"Ewan?" He doesn't respond. "Stop holding back."
"Don't say that," he growls, and runs his tongue across my skin.
"You hold back too much, Ewan. Not just with me, but—"
"Shut up." His mouth crashes onto mine, his touch exploding fireworks beneath my skin. He grips my hair and pulls my head back, and I can barely breathe, unable to move as he deepens the kiss. I'm lost to this moment and to him as I spin away from the world. Lips still on mine, he stands, one arm around my waist, my legs around his, and pushes everything on the kitchen table aside.
A glass spins to the floor and shatters.
He lays me down, and I wriggle against the table’s cold beneath my back.
I murmur something, and I don’t know what; my mind can’t focus on anything but the aching need for Ewan. He growls my name and pushes my panties to one side, his fingers seeking my clit, his breath harder against my face, as he glides the tips along my wetness. I move myself against his hand, and Ewan’s finger pushes inside me. The sensation jolts through my body, and I catch my breath as Ewan strokes a spot inside hardwired to the rest of my body.
I dig my fingers into Ewan’s back, running my hands across his powerful shoulders, as he gives himself over to pleasuring me. The pressure and I spiral to the edge, blood pulsing in my ears, the need for release shaking through my body. I’m aware the moans in the room are coming from my mouth; but I no longer care as my vision blurs, close to the edge.
I grab Ewan’s hair and breathe out at him to stop, and he looks up at me, eyes shining, before running his tongue along his lips.
"I want more than this," I croak out.
He moves back towards me, kissing along my heated skin, before covering my body beneath his weight and strength. "I don’t think that’s a good idea."
No. No. My raging hormones take over again, and my fingers go to his jean’s buttons. "Why?" Ewan squeezes his eyes shut, lips parting as I push my hand inside his jeans and curl my fingers around his hard length.
"Because we need things to stay calm, and this isn’t calm." His hoarse voice disagrees with his words. "Vee. Stop."
I run my hand along him. Maybe if I’d had sex within the last few months, I wouldn’t be as driven to get as up close and personal with one of the guys as this, but a girl deserves some fun, right?
We return to fierce kissing, almost bumping teeth, pouring our denied needs into each other. He
slides his fingers along my slick heat again with one hand, and uncurls my fingers from him with the other. Hair sticks to his forehead as he looks back down at me.
"You have no idea the amount of self-control it’s taking not to pull these off and keep going." He hooks a thumb through the side of my panties. "But I’m going to prove to myself I have some around you."
I groan with frustration. "You don’t need to prove anything."
Again, he closes his eyes and takes a sharp breath. Ewan slides his mouth across my breasts and down to my belly, inch by tormenting inch, and my body buzzes in anticipation.
"Fuck it," he mutters and pulls at my panties, down my legs, and they drop to the floor.
He switches to kissing along my thigh, and his hot breath caresses my heated flesh, before he swipes his tongue along my wet centre. His mouth covers me as he leisurely draws his tongue the length of me until he reaches my clit, teasing. Lightning arcs from the place his tongue touches, through my limbs, and I close my eyes, yielding.
I grip his hair again as he thrusts two fingers back inside me. His tongue skillfully strokes and teases, as he sucks on my clit until I’m heading upwards again. This man can do things with his tongue I never imagined possible, each stroke pushing me further into a natural high, driving me out of my mind, and craving one thing. More. Him. Everything.
Ewan pulls me to the blinding edge, burying his face further between my legs. His day’s growth scratches, the harsh contrast to the soft adding to my arousal. The rhythm of his tongue and fingers against the soft spot inside, drag me into an intensity I’ve never experienced. Blood roars through my ears, my vision blackens. The orgasm shatters me, body and soul.
I'm dragged down from where I float around with the stars in my eyes as Ewan kisses along my belly, and I wrap my shaking legs around him. Now he will, surely. He’s a guy and has his needs too. His lips touch mine, briefly, and then he looks down, chest rising and falling rapidly. I reach out for him again, aching to feel him moving inside me.
