by P. M. Briede
His fingers found my chin and tilted my head away from him, elongating my neck. “I never said how I was going to behave.” He uttered between kisses. My body no longer fought frenzied swells but was being consumed by an irrepressible surge.
As my breathing grew labored my hands tensed; one into a fist and the other clenched his leg. I tried to catch his mouth with mine, but he chuckled as he out-maneuvered me every time. He continued to only focus on the hollows at the top and base of my neck and all the space in between. He grabbed my hips and positioned me until I was straddled across his lap facing him. Just as I was settled he found an overly sensitive spot in the hollow of my collarbone, causing me to arch back and softly moan his name. This just triggered him to intensify his efforts, groaning as his lips traveled as far down my chest as my blouse would allow. Hands quickly moved from my waist to my back effectively cutting off any escape, not that I wanted one.
With a little more freedom of my body, I decided to wreak a little havoc of my own. I slowly caressed his arms, shoulders, and neck until I could tangle my fingers in his hair. As I pressed my body into his, I rocked my hips against him earning a gasp and a tensing of his body as he looked up at me. This time when he tried to claim my mouth for a kiss, I remained out of reach and began sprinkling kisses along his face and neck.
“So the tempted becomes the temptress?” he growled in a strained voice. Finally looking into his passion filled eyes, which I knew had to match my own, I held his gaze and inched closer to him until our lips almost touched. His eyes closed, and his lips parted in anticipation but instead of sealing them in a kiss, I teased their outline with the tip of my tongue. He immediately shuddered and attempted to end his suffering but his grip was lax on my back, and I was able to pull away from him.
Now with the upper hand, I smiled down at him naughtily. His eyes grew wide to match the wolfish smile that stretched across his face. “Oh, this battle is far from being over.” Quickly his arms wrapped underneath my rear as he stood with relative ease.
Apparently I didn’t have the upper hand. “Wesley Breaux, you put me down this instant!” I hissed in his ear while suppressing a laugh.
“Charlotte, I recommend that you ensure your safety and secure yourself as we are moving this upstairs.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” His eyes flared as he headed towards the stairs. Too excited by the turn of events to even care about his methods, I wrapped my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. As he carried me, I nuzzled and nibbled on his neck and ear. “I hope you know what you’re about,” I cooed.
I had to give him credit, even as I felt him melt at my words; he never loosened his hold on me or faltered a step. “Your old room, right?” I nodded.
Too distracted to notice we had entered my bedroom, I was surprised when my back met with the bed, and his lips finally claimed mine. His kiss was deep and ravenous; his hips rhythmically brushing against mine. Desperate for him, my arms wove their way under his to grasp his shoulders as my legs laced with his to match his machinations. Suddenly a tightening took hold of my chest. I was breathless and tore my lips away from his to inhale deeply, unable to stifle the passionate moan that accompanied it.
“Shhhh.” He lifted himself up slightly with satisfaction emanating from his face as his fingers attempted to silence me. Smiling, I nipped at the tips but knew he was right. I tried to think straight, but the tension that was building between my legs had to be dealt with. Another swell surged through my body, making me arch against the bed, biting my bottom lip, fingers digging into his back, and whimpering as I exhaled. When I was able to open my eyes, I saw sweat beads around Wesley’s hairline and heard his muffled groans.
We were a hairsbreadth away from losing control. It took all my strength to drag my arms down his back to his hips, through what felt like molasses. I pressed firmly to slow our movements. He understood, rolled off me, and sat up on the edge of the bed. Neither of us moved, as we both fought against our desires to claim the other as our own.
It took us both a few minutes to regulate our breathing. When I opened my eyes Wesley still was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me, his head hanging. I rose up on my elbows. “Well that certainly was unexpected,” I teased.
The response I got was not what I predicted. Instead of still sounding amused, or even pleased, he sounded despondent. “I’m sorry, Charlotte.” But I wasn’t worried until he attempted to get up to leave.
Moving as fast as I could, I pulled my legs underneath me and reached for his hand to stop him. “Exactly where do you think you’re going?” I tried to pull him back down, and when that failed, I tried to turn him around to face me. “Hey, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to be upset about this.” Unfortunately, frustration was evident in my voice, and he made to free himself from me. I strengthened my grip and pulled myself up onto my knees to put my other hand on his shoulder. I was finally successful in getting him to at least sit back on the bed. What was it with men and their mood swings? Everyone complained about women, but I swear I’d dealt with enough moody men to last a lifetime.
“You’re right; you’re the one who should be upset. I’m…”
“Don’t you dare apologize Wesley!” Anger was starting to couple the frustration in my tone, and I took a deep breath to steady my reactions. “What am I supposed to be upset about?” I inquired in a calmer voice.
His head cocked to the side so he could peek over his shoulder to look at me. “So you’re not upset?” He sounded surprised, while I remained utterly confused about what I was supposed to be upset about.
I tapped my index finger to my lips and looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think. After a few seconds, I smiled at him shyly. “Nope can’t come up with anything to be upset with you about.” He knew I was joking, but his countenance remained dark as he looked away from me and sighed. In order to pull him out of his misery, I decided a change of tactics was required. Kneeling behind him, I pressed my palms to his shoulders. As I ran them down his chest to hug him to me, I put my lips to his ear. “Why would I be upset?” I whispered. “After all you did warn me that you hadn’t clarified your behavior.”
His hands met mine and clasped them to keep me from releasing him. “I hadn’t planned on it going this far.” His head tilted towards mine as he again peeked around at me. This time when he spoke though his voice was lighter. “I just got swept away in you. I never expected you to respond so strongly to me. If I made you uncomfortable…”
“Shhh, enough now. The only thing I’m uncomfortable with that I blame you for is our inability to continue.”
His body tensed against mine. “I thought you wanted to stop,” he confessed in a husky voice. “Trust me I can.” He made to turn towards me, to untangle my arms from around him, so I just hugged him tighter to ensure that I shifted with him.
I had wanted to stop, just not for the reasons he thought. “Now you’re misunderstanding me. I do want this with you, just not here, not right now.”
His grip tightened as I nuzzled his neck. I felt him take a deep, steadying breath. “I get it. This isn’t exactly how I imagined being with you either.” I pulled my lips away from his ear to rest my head on his shoulder in time to see the bemusement on his face before it hardened into resolve. He closed his eyes and placed both hands on his knees. “Given the temptation you present though, I’m going to say goodnight.”
“What, no kiss?” His eyes popped open, and I smiled wickedly at him.
“Charlotte, I love you, so please understand it’s taking all of my strength to not try and test your commitment to stopping. As much as I want nothing more than to kiss you, if you want me to leave, I just can’t.” His voice was rough as he spoke; eyes burning with a plea to give him permission to push the boundaries.
I swallowed hard, remembering why I wanted to wait. It took a while to come up with those reasons though. The desire for him had diminished, but the intensity I felt when he looked at me like he was looking at
me now, was mind numbing. What I was going to ask wasn’t fair but the thought of sleeping alone now was crippling. “Please stay,” I pleaded in a hopeless voice. “I understand if you can’t but…” I couldn’t bring myself to explain.
I let him extricate himself from my arms finally. He rose to leave then suddenly turned and knelt on the floor facing me. Taking my hands in his, he lifted them to his lips, kissing them gently. His eyes met mine with a searching look. “Why do you want me to stay?”
I knew what he wanted to hear, that I wanted him to stay because it was him. While that was true, the main reason was I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I couldn’t lie to him though. “Go, Wesley. It’s for the best. It was selfish of me to ask given all the circumstances, given how you feel.”
His lips thinned. “How do you feel, Charlotte? You said you want this with me but what exactly is this? Sex or love?” His bluntness stunned me. So I turned away from him and pulled back on my arms. He released only one to gently but firmly grasp my jaw and turn me back towards him. “No hiding, not anymore. Truth is, I’m game for either, so there is no wrong answer, nothing to be scared of. I just want to know what I’m getting.”
The words were spoken so matter-of-factly that I was jolted by their truth and was, therefore, unable to hide the hurt and confusion I felt. “So you don’t care because either way you get laid?”
“God no, that’s not what I said! You know what I want, at least you should since anytime we’ve been alone in the last month or so, I’m unable to stop myself from telling you what you mean to me, how much I love you. But I’m willing to give you what you need for the moment.” He leaned in and kissed me softly then. I tried to pull away not wanting my judgment clouded, but his arms encircled me and pulled me against him. I knew I was lost when a frisson ran through my body as his tongue outlined my lips. He didn’t pull away when he spoke in a heady voice, our faces nose to nose. “Besides I’m confident that if what you need is just sex from me, it’ll only be in the beginning. I’ll win you over one way or another, Charlotte, either with my boyish good looks, my charm, my intellect, or my sexual prowess. I’m not above using any or all of them to convince you to love me.”
By the time he was finished his eyes were dancing with delight. I laughed in spite of myself. After all, wasn’t this the war I’d been fighting with myself whenever I thought about what I wanted from him? “Alright Wesley, you want truth.” He nodded as his fingers deftly caressed my back and neck, eliciting a shudder. I was losing my concentration again, so I reached behind me to break his hold on me. “Fine, truth is I’m conflicted, but I can say that I don’t want just sex from you.”
He nudged my nose with his, smiled, and scattered kisses on my cheeks and mouth. “If it’s not between sex and love what is it between?”
“Love or friendship,” I answered in a breathy voice. “You’re my best friend, Wesley, my one true constant, and I love you for it. I can’t lose that. You asked what I needed, and that’s what I need. You. I won’t risk losing you for love.”
His eyes glowed with satisfaction, and I was surprised when he stopped kissing me and pulled back. “You’ve made me very happy, Charlotte.”
“How? I couldn’t possibly have given you the answer you were looking for.”
“No, you didn’t but you gave me the answer I didn’t even know was possible right now. You love me…”
“As a friend …”
“Ah, my love, that is not what your kisses or body have been telling me this evening. You will never lose me, no matter what…”
“You can’t possibly promise that…”
“Oh, but I can, so stop interrupting me. You will never lose me, Charlotte, and we can have both, love and friendship. You had it before, so you know it’s true.” When I opened my mouth to respond, he silenced me with a passionate kiss. “In all of your excuses, you never said that you don’t love me, so the foundation is already there. Build upon it with me, Charlotte. Give into me; give into yourself.”
His throaty pleas beseeched my heart, and I could deny him no longer. “On one condition,” I said as I held up a finger to his lips to stop his advance. He froze with anticipation building in his eyes. Toying with him, I ran my finger across his lips before continuing.
“Name it and it’s yours.”
“Stay with me tonight, as a gentleman mind you. Tomorrow we can start figuring out how to build on this foundation.” He said nothing but lifted me up and laid me in the bed before getting in next to me and enveloping me in his arms.
Chapter 12
Christmas morning I woke up alone, still in my clothes from the night before. Was it all just a dream? I really didn’t know, but either way I’d committed myself to being with Wesley. I snuggled back into the bed and relished the thought. However, once my revelry was completed I was frantic to see him. I jumped out of the bed, rushing through a shower and getting dressed, to all but run downstairs to see if he was up yet.
Apparently, I was the last one up.
“Sorry if I kept everyone waiting.” I spoke to everyone but only looked at Wesley, who found his plate of food all too interesting.
“Some of us more than others, huh Wesley?” If I hadn’t been looking so intently at Wesley, I would have missed Paige’s elbow to his arm. I looked at her with questions written on my face, and she just grinned with her eyes darting between Wesley and me.
When breakfast was over everyone made for the den except for Wesley. I turned towards him and raised my voice to call over my shoulder. “Anybody else want some coffee?” My eyes never left him. He finally looked into them, and he smiled devilishly when my dad, stepmother, and Paige answered in the affirmative.
That smile faltered when we heard Paige announce in a sing song voice, “I’ll help you, Charlotte, that’s going to be too much for you to carry by yourself.”
“Not necessary, Paige, I’m still in here. I’ll help Charlotte,” he called back. She was already in the kitchen though, and his grimace at her just caused her to laugh. “I said I’ve got it, Paige.” His voice was tight, and I looked back over my shoulder to see Paige’s clear enjoyment from torturing Wesley with whatever it was she had on him.
“Well, I’m already here, so I’ll make my own cup, thank you very much.” I was stunned when she practically skipped over to the coffee pot. Instead of pouring just one cup though, she poured four with the remnants. “Oops, looks like we need to make another pot. Charlotte, why don’t you do that? Wesley, how about you help me with these mugs?” She eyed him smugly, and when I looked at him there were fists at his side and his face was red with anger. Paige handed two mugs to him and whispered something in his ear. He closed his eyes and took the mugs but didn’t move. When Paige had the other two and was at the doorway, she turned to stare at him. “Coming, Wesley?”
His eyes and mouth opened at the same time as if to argue, and Paige shook her head. Shooting me an apologetic look, he squared his shoulders and followed her out the kitchen. I turned back to the coffee maker, confused, to make another pot and get myself a clean mug.
Suddenly I heard Paige’s voice. “But Wesley, you don’t take sugar in your coffee.”
“I do now, Paige!” He met her facetious tone with exasperation. “Jeez, will you lay off!”
I turned towards the doorway in time to see him enter. Before I could say anything he rushed me, took me in his arms, and kissed me fervently. Melting into him, I wrapped my arms around his neck as his tongue wrapped around mine.
“It doesn’t take that long to get sugar,” Paige called out again. “Do you need some help?” I truly thought Wesley was going to kill her, just from the look in his eyes.
“No, Paige, I don’t need your help. Charlotte is perfectly capable of helping me,” he called back gruffly before returning his lips to mine.
“Uh huh, I bet she is.”
With muffled laughter I pulled away from him. “What is going on, Wesley?”
He groaned softly, leaning his foreh
ead against mine. “Remember when I said that Paige’s timing is impeccably awful?” I nodded, looking up at him expectantly. “It still is.” My brow furrowed in confusion and I waited for him to continue. But he didn’t.
Abruptly it dawned on me what he meant. “Damn! She caught you didn’t she?”
Worry creased his face and he engulfed me in a hug. “She did,” he whispered. “I’m sorry but the cat is out of the bag and she’s been relentless in her teasing and innuendos.”
I dissolved into giggles as I buried my face in his chest. His arms wrapped around me and I felt the rise and fall of his chest in sync with his own light laughter. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. He swept the hair off my forehead before he pressed his lips to it. “I’m sorry. Once she caught me closing the door to your room she was persistent and followed me to my bedroom to see that I hadn’t slept in it. You know how she gets.”
Boy, did I ever know how she gets. I was going to get an earful later. “What could you possibly be sorry for?”
“Given that we just came to this understanding last night I didn’t think you’d be inclined to an announcement first thing this morning,” he answered sheepishly.
“Well, you’re right there, but what’s done is done. I know that you’re worried that I’m second-guessing the whole thing anyway. I get that over analyzing is kind of my MO. But I’m not, so I’m actually not that distressed by this situation.”
His eyebrows rose in disbelief. “So you’re not mad?”
Tilting my head to the side, I smiled at him teasingly. “Only with the fact that you left.”
“God, I love you,” he said as his eyes smoldered before he kissed me. With that, I removed myself from him and poured my coffee before taking his hand and joining everyone else for Christmas in the living room.
* * *
“Given that I was able to sleep the whole night without any disruptions, I’m assuming you two didn’t have sex last night.” We were walking down the hall towards the music room at school later that day.
