by P. M. Briede
Madness,” I answered against his lips as I kissed him.
His body tensed and his brow furrowed. This piece made him uncomfortable for many reasons. He kept his voice light when he asked if he could come with me to the school and watch. “Wesley, you can’t watch but if you want to work out of my office again, you’re more than welcome to.” He nodded sharply and turned towards my office here. I knew that my answer wasn’t what he wanted but that he’d take it.
This was the compromise we’d agreed on after our first real fight, which was a week and a half ago, when I let slip that Olivier was present during these sessions.
* * *
It had been just a little over a week after the fall where Olivier had protected me from breaking my neck. “Charlotte, it’s out of the question. I’m coming.” Wesley’s tone was stern and that was the only indication I had that he was fuming, as his back was to me while he gathered his keys, wallet, and phone. I waited to respond until I could see his face, swallowing the retort I’d almost flung at him. He turned and walked past me to the door leading into the garage. When I didn’t immediately follow he paused. “Aren’t you going to be late?” he questioned in a tight voice.
“You’re not coming.” I removed as much emotion as I could from my words. I didn’t want to fight with him.
His eyes flashed in anger and frustration. “You’ve got to be joking.”
Why was he so angry? We’d been having a pleasant morning while we ate and got ready for our respective days. “Wesley you’ve got to go to work. Alexander isn’t going to take too kindly to you blowing off this meeting today. You said yourself last night that you know it has to do with something big.” I put my hands on my hips, reinforcing my insistent position that he go to work.
“I’ll get the Cliff Notes later, now let’s go.” The gruffly spat retort was muffled because he was scrubbing his face in irritation.
His insistence exasperated me. What could possibly be driving his fury? In all my life he’d never, ever, said anything remotely condescending to me. He’d never been overbearing. Yet there he was, stubbornly demanding something that I couldn’t give. “You want to tell me what this is really about?” I questioned in a tone of reined in emotion.
“Really about? What exactly are you getting at?” It was uncharacteristic of him to skip out on work, and I’m sorry, but coming and watching me dance wasn’t a reason he would have ever considered before. When I continued my frustrated examination of him, he sighed, clasped his hands on the back of his neck, and looked up at the ceiling. “Charlotte, that lift is dangerous. Do you not remember that fall I witnessed?” At least this time he’d moderated his tone some.
He was genuinely concerned so I relaxed a bit. The lift had its hazards but if anything what he’d witnessed in the studio that day should have put his mind at ease. “I get that, Wesley, but I’ve been doing it in every rehearsal since then. Russell’s practically got it now and we have the crash pad. Olivier isn’t going to let anything happen to me. I’m his top priority and why he’s there. I’m completely safe.”
“How can you be so oblivious?” The words were hurled at me as he slowly shook with fury. “He’s not just there to safeguard you. It’s not his job to keep you safe!” Each word was over pronounced and venomous.
I was hurt by how little he seemed to think of me in this regard. I knew what he was inferring and I refused to tolerate it. Giles and Wesley hadn’t been the first men to find me attractive yet he was acting as though I was clueless of Olivier’s advances and was somehow playing into them. “And there it is.”
“There what is?”
“The real reason, you are jealous!” I wasn’t going to let him make a fool out of me or himself. While I’d been ignorant of his feelings for so long, a lot of that had been because he’d hid them from me, not because I’d trifled with him. Olivier didn’t hide anything, well in regards to his feelings for me, and while Wesley didn’t know the extent to which Olivier continued to pursue me, I wasn’t going to stand there and be accused of encouraging his advances like some tart.
He rolled his eyes not catching on that my ire was rising to rival his. “Don’t be ridiculous!” His lack of faith in my commitment to him and attitude that my statement had been trivial was unnerving. Now not only was I an inexcusable flirt but also a petty child. “Now, let’s go, Charlotte.”
“FINE!” Giving into my ragged emotions and disappointment, I snatched my keys off the counter and marched into the garage, unlocking only the driver’s side door to my car.
He raced after me and caught the door before I could slam it. “What are you doing?”
I was fuming and the last thing I wanted was to see him. “You are not coming, Wesley!” We were yelling at each other even though we were only an arm’s length apart.
“Why the hell not!”
I closed my eyes as my instincts to fight then flight kicked in. With a steadying breath I lowered my voice but didn’t remove the ferocity from my words. “First, because you’ve got a meeting!” He made to interrupt me but I put a hand up and leveled my eyes at him. After a long pause I continued. “Second, because I’m going to be fine. You may not like the method I’ve employed to ensure my safety but I don’t need your permission to utilize it. AND third, Olivier is not a reason to come!” Holding him with the force of my glare, I grabbed the door handle again and pulled, but he didn’t release it.
If he had been a bird, his feathers would have been full on ruffled. He straightened to his maximum height and squared his shoulders. “I told you,” he seethed, forcing the words out through gritted teeth. “I’m not jealous.”
I no longer cared whether he was jealous or not. “Whatever you need to tell yourself, but I’m not budging on this.” My soft voice had taken on an onerous quality. “We both have jobs to do and I would hope that if you don’t trust my love for you enough to relent on this foolish endeavor, that you’d at least respect my commitment to my position as their boss to know I’d behave professionally.” I’d never been so belittled before in all my life, and I’d dated some pretty appalling guys. Guess it’s true what they say, the ones you love the most hurt you the most.
Finally, it seemed as if my words penetrated his infuriatingly clouded mind. His body sagged and his pitch lowered to match my own. “Charlotte, this has nothing to do with you.” He freed my door and put his fists in his pockets.
“Wesley, it has everything to do with me. DO NOT show up at the school today.” With that I slammed the door and started the engine.
The drive to school hadn’t dampened my resentment of the whole situation. Olivier and Russell looked up in surprise when I stormed into the studio, slamming the door into the wall and mumbling my apology for being late.
“Give me a minute to warm up.” My voice was tight as I tried to not take my emotions out on them.
They both glanced at me and then at each other. It was only a few minutes before Olivier ambled over. “Um, something bothering you, Charlotte?” The only answer I gave him was a silent glare. “So, that’s a yes. Work thing?” I tried to block out the sound of his voice by closing my eyes and breathing through my stretching exercises. “So, no. Home thing?” I bit my lip because confiding in Olivier my problems with Wesley was absolutely not the right thing to do. “So, yes. A Breaux thing?” I squeezed my eyes to keep them shut. Damn, if I could not stop his words from inciting my emotions! “So, yes.”
He approached me and offered to assist my stretch again. I nodded and as we took our positions on the floor, he whispered to me. “Charlotte, the whelp is crazy about you. Almost as crazy about you as I am.” When I opened my eyes he was smirking at me mischievously and I couldn’t help but smile as some of the tension seeped away. “Ah, there we are, let it go. You two will work this out and he’ll realize his mistake and apologize. Being slightly familiar with his position, although not with the winning part, yet,” the flames flashed across his eyes for the length of my inhaled gasp, “I can be sympathetic.
”
I couldn’t keep from asking. I might sound crazy but there wasn’t an encounter I had with him where I didn’t see those flames anymore. “What is that, Olivier?”
“What is what?”
“The fire in your eyes?”
He chuckled. “I think you know what that is, my dear.” It wasn’t until he continued that I realized he’d misunderstood what I was asking. “I will not cease in my declarations of admiration but out of respect for you and your desires, I will temper them for now. That fire? Well it’s a hint of the passion I hold in store for you if you ever choose to want it.”
The way he spoke made it sound like Wesley was only going to be a small chapter in my life instead of the rest of it. The warmth I felt from his offer to compromise his wishes in order to make my life easier was a little unsettling. I examined his sincerity as I looked into his eyes. They again lit up with the green fire. He didn’t seem to know. His voice took on a much more sensual tone than he’d been using previously. “Besides if I end up being lucky enough that he is a complete and utter idiot, and the two of you don’t patch things up, I swear to you, you won’t mourn him long.” I opened my mouth to clarify my question but Russell approached us to start rehearsal.
The rest of rehearsal was almost uneventful but right at the end Russell was finally able to do the lift without Olivier’s assistance. He’d been right there the entire time to catch me but for the first time since we started Russell handled me assuredly. We stayed a little late and ran that sixteen count set a few more times and each time he’d become more and more confident in his hold.
After congratulating him, they offered to go out and get a celebratory drink, but I declined, not really in the mood for gaiety. As we were walking to our cars Russell stopped us. “Mrs. Grace? Mr. Cheval? Do you think I’d be able to do that other lift? It was amazing and I’d really like to try and learn how.” Olivier and I glanced at each other and I knew that confidence was not the leading feature on my face.
“Son, I appreciate your gumption, but that’s a hard lift. I know we made it look easy but to execute something like that you really have to trust your partner. You have to have complete faith that she’s not going to do anything to undermine you as the foundation and she has to know, that no matter what, you’re going to keep her out of harm’s way. It takes years for partners to develop the required body communication and trust.” He spoke to Russell but his eyes were trained on mine.
“Oh.” Poor Russell, he looked and sounded so deflated. “I didn’t realize you two have danced together that long. How long have you been together?”
Blinking in unison, I actually saw Olivier blush for the first time. He cleared his throat before answering. “Actually…”
“Actually, since Olivier started. He’s been dancing with me a couple of times a week to help keep me active.” I purposely didn’t look at Olivier. Russell didn’t need to know that we’d never practiced it or talked about it. Olivier was right, it took partners years to develop that level of trust and he and I had done it in a matter of seconds. “If you’d like to try, Russell, I don’t see any harm in it as long as Mr. Cheval is willing to continue assisting us.”
Out the corner of my eye I saw Olivier’s raised eyebrows at my fib, but he didn’t refute it. Russell fidgeted back and forth like a puppy awaiting a treat until Olivier agreed to continue coming to practice. Loneliness overtook me as they headed off to the bar and I remembered that I had an angry man to look forward to. In an effort to put off the upcoming confrontation, I called Paige to see if she was up for a little girl time.
After I rang the bell, the door flew open and she pushed me out of the way as she looked around me. “Who are you? Whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying. My best friend is coming over and I don’t have any time to spare.”
This was just what I needed. I giggled and played along. “Paige! It’s me, Charlotte.”
Looking at me in astonishment, she gripped my cheeks, giving me a fish face, as she twisted my head back and forth completing her examination. “Charlotte? Well, you certainly sound like her but I’m not convinced.” We burst out laughing but she was committed to her role now. “I’m sorry, but New Orleans can be unsavory. I need to make sure that you are, in fact, Charlotte. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her, you understand?”
I nodded, awaiting what was next. She tapped a finger against pursed lips. “Let’s see, who’s the best sex you’ve ever had?”
I blushed scarlet. She knew Wesley and I were sleeping together. She’d known the first time she’d talked to me after it had happened. She also knew exactly how satisfying and exciting I found him as a lover. Yet I couldn’t answer this question. Giles hadn’t been as passionate but he’d been my husband and I never had any complaints. When I couldn’t form the words to answer, she doubled over laughing and waved me inside.
“I thought I had to answer your question?” I was outright confused by her howling.
She wiped tears from her eyes, then handed me a glass of wine before picking up her own. “Oh, Charlotte. You absolutely did. Only the real Charlotte wouldn’t have been able to answer that question because she wouldn’t want to criticize anyone’s abilities in the sack!”
I glared at her and trudged over to the sofa, collapsing onto it. When her amusement died away she leveled a dubious look at me. “What’d you and Wesley finally fight about?”
My eyes shot wide open before I could school my features. “How the hell do you know that? Did he call you again?”
“No, he didn’t call. It comes with the territory, reading people is kind of a requirement. However in your case it wasn’t so hard to figure out. You two have been inseparable since Christmas. The only thing at this stage in your relationship that would bring you to my house is a fight.”
She was right and I was ashamed I’d been such a bad friend. “It was a fight, but Paige, I’m so sorry that I’ve been ignoring you lately. I haven’t meant too.”
“You have nothing to feel bad about, Charlotte. I remember what the beginning stages of love feel like and I haven’t felt neglected at all.”
“That’s no excuse and you’re letting me off too easy. I’m not eighteen anymore. A man shouldn’t define me.”
“You happy?” Without hesitating I answered yes. “Then that’s all that matters. You two will simmer down and we’ll all get back to some semblance of normal. Until then, you just enjoy the hell out of that man. I remember wh…” She trailed off, blushed, and turned away from me, downing about half her glass of wine.
“Remember what?” I prodded, curious at her sudden embarrassment since she never got embarrassed.
“Remember what sex was like in that passion filled beginning stage. The heat, the uncontrollable desire, the carnality…”
This time I cut her off before she got more detailed. Whatever memory she was having deepened the rosy hue in her cheeks. “Enough, Paige. Just because I’m having it doesn’t mean I want to dissect it.”
“Spoilsport! Fine let’s get back to your fight. What happened?” Over the next half hour I relived our quarrel with her. She didn’t immediately say anything when I finished. “Charlotte, and please understand I’m not taking his side, but you have to remember he’s madly in love with you and has spent all of his adult life watching you in the arms of another. Of course he’s jealous and of course he doesn’t want to admit that to you.”
“He has nothing to be jealous about though. I love him and he can’t possibly not know that.”
Empathetic eyes locked on mine. “When it comes to you, it’s ingrained in his DNA and he’s spent years holding it in. Now that you’re together you can’t tell me that he’s not allowed to lose it once in twenty years. I guarantee you; right now he’s beating himself up for blowing his stack with you. He doesn’t want to be that guy.”
“Odd but that’s practically what Olivier inferred.” I didn’t see her reaction but I heard the stem break on the glass when she slammed it down on the tab
le.
“Shit!” She jumped up and ran to the kitchen. Dumbfounded by the severity of her actions I set down my glass gingerly and began picking up the shards. Her eyes avoided mine when she returned and dabbed at the slivers with a damp paper towel. After discarding the broken glass, she still didn’t immediately say anything to me. Taking a deep breath, she turned those investigator eyes on me and used her most calming voice. “Please tell me you did not tell Olivier about your miniscule problem with Wesley.”
“God no, Paige, I’m not stupid even though everyone seems to think so today,” I indignantly responded. It was irritating that she’d even ask.
Nothing changed about her demeanor as she continued to grill me. “Then what did you mean by that’s practically what he inferred?”
I picked up my glass of wine and shrugged my shoulders at her. “Just that, he figured it out. Apparently I’m an open book. Is it so hard to believe? You figured it out.”
“Right but I’ve know you both for years, Charlotte. You’ve known Olivier, for what, maybe two months?” I nodded. “You know he’s infatuated with you, right?”
Feeling peckish about having everyone assume that I have no situational awareness whatsoever, question all my intentions, and treat me with kid gloves, I responded with what I knew would provoke her. “Actually I believe he used the term obsessed.”
She jumped to her feet. “What?! He told you that?!” I stood to leave but she blocked me. “Charlotte, do I really need to tell you how dangerous obsessions are? You don’t have to go down to the station to file for a restraining order. I can do it for you right now!”
“That is enough, Paige!” The words exploded from me as I fixed infuriated eyes on her. I’d suffered enough indignities for one day! “I am not some child that everyone needs to constantly be looking out for. I am a grown woman and I am well aware of Olivier’s desires as he at least is brave enough to go after what he wants, even when he knows it’s out of reach.”
