by Frankie Love
CAVE MAN NEED WIFE
The First Mountain Man
Frankie Love
Contents
Cave Man Need Wife
Prologue
1. Rosalie
2. Rock
3. Rosalie
4. Rock
5. Rosalie
6. Rock
7. Rosalie
8. Rock
9. Rosalie
Epilogue 1
Epilogue 2
About Frankie
Copyright © 2021 by Frankie Love
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Cave Man Need Wife
The First Mountain Man
By Frankie Love
I’ve been here a long ass time. Lonely as hell and wishing for a wife.
When a woman arrives, she thinks she’s time-travelled to a prehistoric nightmare.
I think she’s finally come home.
She’s innocent, curvy, and all kinds of cute.
And she thinks I’m nothing but a cave man.
Growly. Grumpy. Gruff.
She’s not wrong.
She also has ideas about marriage. She’s planning on wearing white, with her father walking her down the aisle of a church.
That’s not happening here in the jungle.
Closest thing to a chapel is a cave and I have no intention of her staying pure until her wedding.
I want her now. Today.
She thinks her father would never give her away to me… but she’s wrong.
Besides, I’m not asking for her hand, I’m taking it.
Dear Reader,
This one’s raunchy, racy, and a little bit ridiculous. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Xo, Frankie
Prologue
Rock
Six Years Ago
I crawl on my stomach through the eerie cave, searching for our target. I was recruited for this mission because I know thing or two about getting a job done.
I was trained by the best – Sergeant Langham – and I’m fucking grateful to have learned how to navigate difficult terrain from a man like him. I saved his life once, and he told me he’d give me anything I wanted in return.
But there’s only one thing I want, and I can’t get it from him.
I want a wife.
A woman to call my own.
And after crawling through this damn jungle for weeks on end, I’m more determined than ever to get home and find just that. The distraction of missions are fine – it’s the time in between them when I feel the gaping hole in my life. I have no home. Not even a dog.
Hell, I’ll even try out online dating if I need to. Find some matchmaker. Whatever it takes. I’ve been alone long enough. I want a woman to come home to at night. Sure I might be a gruff-around-the-edges soldier – but with a little tender loving care I figure the beast within can be tamed.
But I’ve got to put down some roots first.
Now, the five men on my team are deep in a maze of caves, tunnels winding for miles under the Yucatan jungle. And losing my way isn’t an option.
Carnage shouts, “He’s up ahead!”
Stone yells, telling us to stay low. I can’t see Storm or Flint for the life of me.
I know what to do. I run to the left, knowing a blast is coming our way – the terrorist we are after knows we are edging in close.
I hear it before I see it – the grenade going off, the walls of the cave rumbling. From the corner of my eye, I see a patch of green and I dive for an exit that shouldn’t have been there – not according to the mapping I’d done in prep for this mission.
But it’s the green ass jungle and I’m flying toward it as the cave begins to shake, rattle, and roll.
My head smacks hard on a rock, and for a split second I blink, seeing a clear blue sky – before blacking out.
When I come to, I try to roll over, to stand, to get my bearings, but I’m dizzy, dehydrated – and not at all alone.
Right in front of me there is a big ole tiger. This isn’t some stripey ass cat from the zoo.
This is a prehistoric saber-tooth, and it’s coming for me.
I have no idea where I am, but this sure as hell isn’t where I want to be.
1
Rosalie
Weddings are not for the weak of heart. And this past week, my heart has been tested.
I love my sister, Samantha. But oh my gosh, am I feeling twinges of jealousy like never before.
She found the love of her life and that’s why we’re here in Tulum for their destination wedding, celebrating their newly wedded bliss.
Me? I'm as single as ever, longing for a life I don't have.
Last night at the wedding, everyone tried to make me feel better for not having a date. “Oh, you’ll meet your Prince Charming one of these days!’ “Have you seen the waiter? He’s quite a stunner!” “My college roommate has a son who has a friend who is single.”
I’m sure they all had good intentions, but it made me feel miserable. Maybe I should have found some guy on the internet for my plus one. But I wanted to come here with someone who was special or no one at all.
So, I boarded the plane by myself, went to my sister's rehearsal dinner and wedding reception, playing the part of maid of honor, doing my duties flawlessly, a smile on my face the entire time.
I'm pretty much the girl in that movie, 27 Dresses, always a bridesmaid, never a bride, and for the most part, I've been okay with that. I know eventually my day will come. One day I will be the one wearing white with all of my friends lined up beside me as I make promises to the man of my dreams. It will happen, eventually, but I can’t stand to stay at the resort for one more minute. I’ve crashed from the high of the wedding and just want to get away.
I think it's fantastic that Samantha and Luke wanted to have a destination wedding. Who doesn't like a great vacation in paradise? This peninsula on the east coast of Mexico is glorious. It's lush and wild, and the woman at the concierge desk told me the caves here are incredible.
I didn't think I'd want to go on this excursion by myself, but when I woke up this morning and I looked around at everyone else at the resort, holding hands and stealing kisses and giggling in corners, I knew I had to get away. I think I’m the only single person in this entire hotel.
My dad of course, is worried. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to go off alone, Rosalie. A single woman, as sweet as you, I don't want something to happen."
"Oh honey, let her have some fun,” Mom says. “It's a guided tour, isn't it?"
I nod, handing my father the brochure. "It's the only excursion with an available spot that's leaving this morning."
"You could stay at the pool with us."
I smile indulgently. "Mom, you told me you have a couples massage booked in a poolside cabana. You really want me to hang around?" As a twenty-four-year-old woman, I’m not squeamish about PDA, but my parents being lovey-dovey isn't exactly something I need to stick around for.
"Well, I suppose, if it's guided. You won't be alone at all, will you, honey?" Dad asks.
"No, it's like, twenty people on this excursion and a couple of guides. It's really safe. You wear headlamps and you go through these caves. I guess it's kind of murky, but..."
"Don't you get a little claustrophobic, sweetheart?" Mom asks.
I shrug. "I don't know. I suppose if I was in a closet with the lights off, I would be s
lightly freaked out, but I'll have a headlamp. I'll be fine."
"All right. Well, we love you, honey,” Mom says. “Did you get a chance to say goodbye to Samantha?"
"No, Mom, she's with Luke. They got married last night. I'm not exactly going to go knock on the honeymoon suite."
Mom laughs and Dad wraps his arm around her. They have the ideal marriage. It's a marriage I want for myself one day. Thirty years of happily ever after.
My dad was in the military and spent a lot of time overseas while I was growing up but he would always write my mom these amazing letters. Send her postcards from wherever he was in the world. He'd call us whenever he could and when he came home, the reunions were always the best. He would bring flowers and wrap Mom up in a big hug and tell my sister and me that he loved us to the moon and back. I believed him then and I believe him now.
Last night, at the wedding, I admit to getting emotional seeing him walk my sister down the aisle. Everyone was beaming. How could they not be? Samantha was a beautiful bride. Luke is devoted to her. Both sides of the family were there. It was like a movie moment. Standing next to my little sister, I got emotional thinking about how I will have that moment one day and how badly I want it. My dad walking me down the aisle after giving his blessing, of course, to my husband-to-be.
"I love you guys so much," I say, "and I'll see you tonight."
"All right, sweetheart,” Mom says, giving me a hug. “We love you more."
"To the moon and back," Dad adds, and I smile remembering those words from when I was a little girl and how much they meant to me then.
I kiss him on the cheek. "I love you most.”
The bus ride to the caves isn't too long. In forty-five minutes, I’m exiting the bus and being shuffled into a small room where we are instructed to watch a little video about the cenotes here in the region – which are underground caves. It looks like a maze of caves and I wonder if anyone ever gets lost in them.
“There'll be water in the cave,” a guide tells us. “So you’ll need wetsuits and water shoes.”
"I didn't realize the water would be so deep in the caves," I say as we are given headlamps by one of the group leaders.
"Don't worry, there's parts where you'll be up to your waist, sometimes up to your shoulders, but we'll all be together the whole time. Can you swim?"
"We won't be able to touch the ground?" I ask.
"In some spots, maybe not. It's totally safe, though, and it's incredible. You're going to have a blast," the guide says encouragingly.
"All right," I say, unsure if I believe her.
"So just get with whoever you came with and stay in that group, okay? So you don't get separated on our little hike into the jungle and the entrance of the cave."
"Oh, I’m here alone," I tell her.
Her smile falters. "Oh, well, no worries. Just tag along with the others, you’ll be fine."
"Right," I say, feeling like a loser for not having a buddy. Then, not wanting to be a Debbie Downer, I remind myself that I am young and single, and the whole world is my oyster. As an editor for a digital magazine, I’m always longing for fresh air and the outdoors, a reason to leave the stuffy office. This is the adventure I am always yearning for – now is not the time to second guess it.
Steeling myself with confidence, I decide this is going to be an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. And until I find my Mr. Right, why not have a little bit of me time learning new things, traveling the world, exploring? There'll be plenty of time to be settled down with my plus one.
Once we have lowered ourselves into the caves, I’m enthralled. It's as beautiful as promised. There are bats flying overhead, but it's dark and cool. The temperature is low, stalagmites on the cave floor as tall as me, and stalactites hanging from the ceiling. It feels like a holy space, sacred – like we've gone back in time.
After we’ve swam and walked through the maze of caves for an hour, the guide leads us into a big open pool of water.
"We're going to pause here," the guide says, "and lie on our backs. With your life vests on, you'll be buoyed, and we're going to have a few minutes of silence, just taking in the moment. Everyone turn off your headlamps."
I smile, liking the low-key approach to this experience. As I'm lying on my back, surrounded by pitch black, I feel like I’m in outer space, in a galaxy far, far away. The algae in the water seems to sparkle when my fingertips move. I gasp at the beauty around me. I'm so lost in the moment that when the tour guide tells us to turn on our headlamps and continue on, I find that I'm last in the group, trailing behind.
I scramble to keep up, but as the group turns to the right into a smaller tunnel, I start to panic. It's too small, too tight in here. My mom was right. I am feeling claustrophobic. This maze is getting smaller and smaller.
"Can I turn back?" I ask. "I don't really like it in here."
The person in front of me doesn't speak English, yet she lifts a hand, trying to get the instructor's attention.
"Excusez-moi? Au secours!?"
But the instructor doesn't hear her and everyone continues to move ahead. Feeling alone and lost, I give myself a pep talk. “Come on, Rosalie, you can do this. Just keep on moving.”
But by the time I've given myself a coaching session, the group is only getting farther and farther ahead. This is why you have a partner. I need someone looking out for me.
I squeeze my eyes shut, telling myself to focus. It's okay, it's going to be okay. Take a deep breath in, a deep breath out. I wish the French lady would have waited for me, but she had children with her and she had to keep walking ahead and now I'm all alone in the dark.
I try to adjust my headlamp to make it brighter, but it falls into the water. And then it's pitch dark.
I start to cry. "Help," I shout, but everyone's gone too far ahead and I'm alone in the dark cave. I crouch down, reaching for my headlamp in the water. I finally wrap my fingers around it but when I pull it from the water, I see it's not a headlamp, it's just a rock.
Frustrated, I grunt, sinking into the side of the wall. At least I'm not hyperventilating anymore. Now I'm just irritated that I lost my lamp, that I'm in the dark, and that the group is farther ahead.
Trying to get a grip, I close my eyes, taking big breaths in and big breaths out. When I open them again, I notice a space in the wall of the cave where light's getting in.
I step toward it, realizing it's more than a crevice, it's a hole that I can climb out of. I do, crawling through the cave, taking in deep lungfuls of air.
I'm not stuck. I'm not lost. I'm not... Wait a second. I turn around, my feet on the muddy floor of the jungle, but when I look back to the cave, there's nothing but a firm rock wall.
I know I just climbed through it, but there's no entrance, no way to get back to the group. Confused, I run my hands up and down the rock, trying to find the hole where I just climbed out but there isn't anything, any space at all.
"Help," I scream. "I don't get it. What happened?" Panicking at being alone here in the jungle, I wish I had brought my phone with me to figure out my location, but I have nothing but this wetsuit and a pair of water shoes.
Okay, I just need to calm down. I walk to the left, thinking if I just get to the entrance of the cave I can find someone with the tour. Then I stop. What if it's better to go to the end of the cave where everyone will be coming out? Is that faster? I don't know how long this tour was supposed to last.
Making a plan, not knowing if it’s the right one, I decide I'll just go to the entrance because someone's got to be there.
But as I begin walking, I notice that I'm walking in circles. I walk around the entire hill but there is no opening. No entrance. The hole I crawled through has disappeared.
Where am I?
If I was feeling panicky in the cave, that was nothing in comparison to how I feel now.
Tears fill my eyes and I blink them away, but it's impossible. I think maybe I'm hallucinating because the next thing I know, I se
e a giant saber-toothed tiger looking at me as if it’s ready to pounce.
That's when I really freak out. In fact, that's when I faint.
2
Rock
It’s a day like all the others. They bleed together. Hunt. Make fire. Collect water. Survive.
In my jungle oasis, the fire's going and I'm prepping the fish I filleted for an early dinner. I have a pretty good routine, albeit a repetitive one.
Five years in, I figure there's no use in complaining anymore about whatever the fuck happened to land me here.
One minute, I was on a Special Ops mission. The next thing I knew, a grenade exploded. Instead of being blasted to bits on the floor of that cave with the other guys I was working alongside, I managed to crawl out and exit into the lush green jungle.
Only thing was, it wasn't the 21st century anymore. I wound up going back in time and no matter what I did to find that exit in that cave, I couldn't crawl back.
There was no tunnel, no way in. It was a one-way portal and I had climbed through it willingly, not realizing what it meant.
It meant that I am now the only man on the goddamn earth. Living here in prehistoric times, far as I can gather. There are no dinosaurs, no pterodactyls or brontosauruses, no – I’m no good at history but they must've been here a million years ago.
I’m hunting alongside woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers and birds the size of men.
