“Oh, I’ve heard his songs before.” She walked up next to him, feeling chilled from the night air. She wished now she would have remembered her shawl. “I wanted to come talk to you.”
“Why?” He blew out a puff of smoke into the air. “So you can call me crazy as well? I know that’s what they’re saying.”
“No. I’ve never thought you were crazy. And Anna Mae just told me that your father used to talk about the ghost as well.”
“Well, hell, then that proves I must be crazy.” He threw the butt to the ground and snuffed it out with the pointy toe of his leather boot. “My old man was as batty as they come.”
“Why do you say that, Wolfe? Just because he liked to nip at the bottle once in awhile?”
“Hah! He liked to drown his sorrows literally in any and all alcohol since my ma died from a fever.” He looked back out over the open field and the sparse cattle that dotted the land. “At one time these fields were filled with twice as many cattle, and my brothers and I helped my pa not only raise them, but drive them up north to sell as well. Even Ginny knew how to rope a steer, though I doubt you’d ever see that from her again in this lifetime.”
“I remember,” said Lexi with a nod of her head. “You and your brothers were good on a horse. I used to sit on the fence and watch you for hours riding and rounding up the herd.”
“I made some wrong choices in my life, Lexi, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do.”
“Are you talking about . . . about Gretta?”
He stared out to the open sky and bit his bottom lip and just nodded. “Yeah, that’s one of my mistakes. One of the many.”
“Gretta was my best friend, Billy. I never understood why you bedded her. I thought I knew you better than that.”
“Sometimes when you’re confused, you do things you don’t really understand, hoping to make everything better.”
“Did you – love her?”
He turned his head and his eyes interlocked with hers and she thought they looked glassier than before. “She was carrying my baby and I’d planned on marrying her to do the right thing. But then pa was drunk that day, and scared the horse she was on by shooting his rifle in the air and she fell. In one blink of an eye both she and my unborn child were dead.”
“I know.” She rubbed her arms and looked to the ground. “I’m sorry. I miss her too. But you really shouldn’t have blamed your father.”
“No, I guess I should blame myself.”
“Why did you go to bed with her?” she asked, trying to hold back the tears. She wrapped her arms around herself, her body starting to shiver from the chill in the air.
“Do you really want to know?”
“I do.” It was hard for her to hear about this since Gretta had been just as good of a friend to her as Wolfe was. Actually, it bothered her because she’d always hoped Wolfe could be more to her than just a friend.
“All right, I’ll tell you.” His voice was low and seductive. “I never really wanted Gretta, and hell if I ever loved her. But knowing she died with my baby in her womb is really hard for me to take.
“I know. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose a child.”
“The woman I wanted was you, Lexi. But we were such good friends, that I didn’t want to ruin things between us. You were like a sister to me, and I was young and confused. I felt I couldn’t have you without ruining the friendship between us – so I guess I decided your best friend would be just as good, but it wasn’t true.”
“I always hoped you’d want me. When I found out what happened between you and Gretta, I had no choice but to leave. I couldn’t stay here and watch her birth your baby. It would have destroyed me.”
“What?” He seemed taken aback by her confession. “I . . . I never knew that.”
“It’s true. I loved you, Billy, and your action drove me straight into the arms of the first man I met. I thought I was hurting you by doing it, but I guess I was wrong, because you left before you ever even knew.”
“Do you really mean that? The part about loving me?”
“I do,” she said, rubbing her arms with her hands. “You have to understand that I had to find someone else to fill that empty void in my life.”
He reached out and tilted her chin upwards and pulled her into his arms. “I never meant to hurt you, but now I see I’ve messed up not only my own life but yours as well.” He bent forward and his mouth came closer. His lips caressed hers ever so gently sending a slight shiver of desire dancing across her skin. His kiss had been something she’d been waiting for her entire life. She’d always dreamed of this moment and wondered how it would feel. Now she knew. It was better than she’d ever anticipated.
She thought he’d be rough and punishing, just like the way he did everything in his life, but instead he was gentle. His soft lips caressed hers, and his essence filled her senses. She tasted just a hint of tobacco, and it intermingled with the smell of the fresh air on his clothes, making her heady. She wanted to savor every bit of the experience – every essence that made up the man of Billy de Wolfe. The slight stubble on his jaw rubbed against her cheek, making her feel alive. After having died inside so many years ago, one kiss had brought her back to life in just a mere moment.
She reached up and put her arms around his neck, pushing back his long, blond hair in the process. Then she kissed him in return, but this time it was different. She wanted him to know she meant it, and so this kiss was not gentle. Unbridled passion poured into her action, and she almost cried out when his tongue slipped into her mouth.
He held her tight in his embrace. One of his hands rested on her buttocks while the other was very close to the side of her breast. This felt so wonderful, and she could have kissed him all night, but to her dismay he pulled away.
“Why did you –”
“Emma, you can come out now instead of hiding in the barn watching us,” Wolfe called out.
“Emma’s here?” The thought horrified her. She didn’t want her daughter to see this. Her head whipped around and she spied her young daughter creeping out from the shadows. She hadn’t even heard her there.
“What are you doing, Mommy?” Emma looked at them suspiciously, making Lexi feel as if she’d done something wrong.
Lexi’s eyes shot back over to Wolfe. She didn’t know how to answer her daughter.
“Your mother was cold and I was . . . warming her up,” said Wolfe, looking over and winking at Lexi.
She smiled, and ran her tongue over her lips to savor the taste of his kiss. They’d started something tonight that could lead in a million different directions, and she only hoped the direction would be a good one.
“Come on, let’s go help Grandma with the dishes, Emma.” Lexi left Wolfe’s warm embrace, and held out her hand to her daughter. Emma ran up and took her hand and looked over her shoulder at Wolfe as they walked back to the house.
“Mama, he scares me,” she said. “Chase Masters is nice tho. I like him, don’t you?”
Lexi knew that Wolfe could hear them, so she decided to choose her words carefully. “Billy is a good man, honey, and you don’t need to be scared of him. I’ve known him for a long time. He’s – he’s . . . family.”
Wolfe overheard the conversation of the two girls, and the word family him hard. He liked kissing Lexi. He liked it a lot. He felt emotions with just one kiss between them that he’d never felt with Gretta. But her daughter didn’t like him, so he knew a relationship with Lexi might not be the best choice at this time. He didn’t want to make another wrong decision. The girl said she was frightened of him, and he knew that was no life for a child. He and his siblings had been frightened of their father near the end, and it made them all want to leave. It’s a big part of what split up their family. He’d lived with a bastard father, and sadly it had turned him into a bastard as well.
“Family,” he repeated, and just shook his head. He picked up a rock and hurled it as far as he could. Why did everything always have to c
ome back to family?
Chapter 4
Wolfe paced the floor the next morning, waiting for his siblings to show. The smell of coffee filled the air, as well as the tantalizing aroma of bacon that Anna Mae had been cooking up in the kitchen for the last half hour.
He felt anxious and scattered after having kissed Lexi yesterday. What had he been thinking? He ran a hand through his hair and looked up when he heard footsteps across the floor.
“Oh, it’s you two,” he said, disappointed to see his brothers. He had been hoping to be able to talk to Lexi before everyone got there. He’d called a family meeting this morning. After having talked to Anna Mae late last night, he realized that they were about to lose the ranch if they didn’t do something soon. The cattle needed to be brought to market, and they could make much more per head if they had a cattle drive and took them up north or out east. However, she didn’t have the money to pay the dozen men needed for this job. She’d also said the drifter would probably be leaving soon and couldn’t be counted on for anything long term. Once he left, there’d be no one to care for the ranch except the women.
It was Wolfe’s initial reaction to just leave and go back to bounty hunting where he felt comfortable. But he couldn’t do that with a clear mind. Lexi and her daughter lived here now too. He didn’t want to see them without a home, and he didn’t want to see Anna Mae suffer either.
“Of course it’s us. Who were you expecting?” asked Wade.
“The . . . ghost?” Warion raised his hands over his head and made ghostly noises.
“Stop it,” Wolfe said in a low voice, but his aggravation only seemed to make matters worse.
“Hey Warion, do you think Wolfe’s going to start wearing an eyepatch soon?” Wade squinted one eye and made a face.
“Aye, matey,” answered Warion in a voice that was supposed to sound like a gruff pirate. They both laughed hysterically.
Wolfe had had enough. He lunged for his brothers, and in a matter of seconds there was an all-out fistfight in the middle of the living room.
“Oh, pleeeeease. If I had known this was going on, I would have slept a little longer,” said Ginny coming into the room, tying a ribbon in her hair. “Why did I have to have brothers instead of sisters?”
“Boys, stop it!” Anna Mae ran in and tried to pull them off each other. Wolfe didn’t want her to get hurt, so he stepped away. His jaw throbbed from the punch he’d received from Wade, and he rubbed it. Actually, it was a good punch on Wade’s part, and he was impressed his little brother had learned to fight so well. War could really change a person.
Wolfe supposed he deserved it – since he was the one who gave Wade that limp, having shot his brother in the leg during one of their brawls while growing up. Of course, he’d only been showing off with the new revolver he’d gotten, and was aiming for the ground to make his brother dance. Warion had pushed Wade at the wrong moment and his leg ended up with a bullet lodged in it instead.
“She’s right, stop it,” said Wolfe, plopping down in a chair at the table. “I wanted to talk to all of you about the ranch.”
“What about it?” Warion stood up and brushed off his trousers.
“Anna Mae says we’re going to lose it soon unless we get the cattle to market quickly.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Wade got up and stretched.
“That’s a shame.” Ginny fiddled with the bodice of her new gown. “Anna Mae, is breakfast ready yet? The boys said they’d take me to town on the buckboard to look at the new hats in the milliner’s window.”
“How do you have so much money to waste?” asked Warion.
“It’s her rich husband’s money,” said Wade.
“Or she’s taken on a job as a parlor girl.” Warion winked. “After all, those revealing gowns she wears tell all her secrets.”
“I hate you two, now shut your traps or I’ll do it for you.” Ginny’s face became red.
“You two need to stay here and help out,” said Wolfe, pointing at his brothers.
“Us?” asked Wade. “What about you?”
“I’ve got a job. Unlike some of us here.” He looked at all three of his siblings.
“If you call hunting down outlaws a job,” retorted his sister.
“Ginny, it would do you good to stay here as well and not go back east,” Wolfe said next. “The women could use your help around here with the ranch.”
“No. I don’t think so,” she answered. “I’m leaving on the next stage. I don’t know why I came out here in the first place.” She sashayed out of the room.
“Neither do I,” added Warion. “It was like some odd obsession to come back here once I received the telegram, but I don’t understand why.”
“I’m leaving soon as well,” said Wade. He and his twin headed across the room and left the house.
The door slammed and Wolfe looked up to see the tears in Anna Mae’s eyes. “I don’t know what I’ll do. I had to tell Chase I couldn’t pay him anymore and he’s leaving today. I don’t know how the girls and I will run this ranch on our own and with very little money. The cattle will never get to market now.”
“I’m sure something will work out.” Wolfe got up and crossed the room. He reached out and slowly put his arm around Anna Mae’s shoulder and gave her a slight squeeze. He’d never done this before and was wondering if that kiss with Lexi yesterday was making him soft.
“Will you be staying, Wolfe? Please.” She looked up with hope in her eyes. He swallowed a lump in his throat before he answered.
“No,” he said, letting his arm slip from her shoulder. He couldn’t stay here now that he’d kissed Lexi and Emma hated him. It would be better for them if he just stayed far away. He didn’t want anyone depending on him. He was used to being alone. “I’ll just go check on the horses.”
He walked out of the house feeling like a heel. Why hadn’t he just told her that it would be too uncomfortable to stay there when all he could think about was the mistake he’d made years ago by assuming he couldn’t ask his best friend to marry him?
Marry him? Where did that thought come from? His head was so confused he just couldn’t think straight anymore. He rounded the corner of the stables and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Chase Masters with his guitar slung over his back, and both arms around Lexi. She reached up and gave him a peck on the cheek.
“I’ll miss you, Chase. Take care of yourself and don’t be a stranger.”
“I’ll be sure to stop back next time I’m out this way. You take care of that beautiful little daughter of yours now.” He reached out and touched her on the chin and tilted it upward. Wolfe was sure he was going to kiss her and it bothered him to no end. So he cleared his throat and walked forward to make his presence known.
“Wolfe! I didn’t know you were standing there.” Lexi could have died when she realized Wolfe had just seen her give Chase a peck on the cheek. She also knew that if he hadn’t interrupted, Chase might have kissed her back. She didn’t want him to kiss her, but she hadn’t known how to stop it from happening either. She’d only been showing her appreciation, not asking for anything in return.
“Obviously not.” Wolfe walked into the stable and started to saddle his horse.
“I’ll be leaving then,” said Chase, getting on his horse and tipping his hat to Lexi. As he rode away, Emma came out from the house and ran after him, begging him to stay. Anna Mae ran out as well and gathered the little girl into her apron.
“Are you going somewhere, Wolfe?” Lexi’s voice wavered.
“Yeah,” was all he said.
“You’re leaving for good again. Aren’t you?”
He was, but he didn’t want to admit it.
“I’m going to town to see what’s going on with the Hendershott gang. There’s one of them left with a bounty on his head, and I aim to bring him in at the end of a rope.”
“What about the ranch?”
“What about it?” He tightened the cinch straps on the saddle.
�
�You’re not just going to leave, are you?”
“I’m not the man to help you. I don’t belong here and we both know it.”
“You selfish son-of-a-bitch.”
He looked up, shocked to hear language like this coming from Lexi’s mouth. She had changed in the past five years and wasn’t the soft-spoken girl he remembered.
Then came the sting of her slap across his face. His head turned and he blinked twice, not sure what just happened. “What was that for?”
“That’s for kissing me like it meant something and then just turning around and walking out of my life like you did five years ago.”
“I told you, we were just friends back then.”
“Is that what we are now as well? Didn’t that kiss mean anything to you, because it did to me. I’ve waited for that my entire life, and now I only wish it never happened. I hate you, Billy de Wolfe, and I never want to see you again.” She picked up her skirts and ran toward the house where she was greeted by both Anna Mae and Emma. His stepmother put her arm around Lexi, and little Emma looked over and glared at him.
What had just happened? Everyone was mad at him it seemed. When a man was even on a four-year-old’s shit list, it was time to leave.
He hoisted himself up into the saddle, and rode out of the stable without looking back. He needed to get away and think. But he’d never be able to think when the feeling of guilt was eating him up from inside. He just kept hearing William’s voice in his head saying no de Wolfe is a lone wolf, and that he needed to remember to run with the de Wolfe pack.
Only thing was, about right now, running with a real wolf pack would be a hell of a lot easier than trying to bring his dysfunctional family back together.
Chapter 5
Wolfe was in the marshlands again, and this time it wasn’t foggy. This time he could see clearly the bones of every dead body that crunched under his boot heels. He expected to see his family, and was almost disappointed when he didn’t.
He was starting to wonder what he was doing here, when through the fog came Lexi. She was crying, and holding Emma in her arms. The Serpent appeared, looming over her head. The hissing of the beast and the stench made him want to retch.
Wolfe of the West--World of de Wolfe Pack Page 4
