“Then I suggest you do. You have two weeks. I’ll need your final decision by then. Stay out there and go down with that sinking ship or come home. Where you belong.” He clicked off and left Natalie listening to dead air.
Well, then.
She stood, brushed off her jeans, and shook her head.
The line in the sand was drawn.
She’d just have to step over it.
Natalie needed a break. After lunch, she decided to take Sarah up on her invitation to visit Jeni. Before she’d left last night, Sarah said she would be home that afternoon and had invited Natalie to come by.
The little girl was pleased to see her, and Natalie spent some time playing board games and reading with her until she started yawning.
“Need a nap?” Natalie stroked the blond curls and smiled as Jeni nodded. She tucked her into bed and went in search of Sarah. She found her out on their small back porch tending to her herb garden.
“Jeni’s napping,” Natalie told her, inhaling the strong scent of lavender and mint.
Sarah straightened and took off her gardening gloves. “She usually nods off for a bit around this time. The antibiotics make her drowsy.” She moved to a small table and lifted a pitcher. “Iced tea?”
“Thanks.” They sat and Natalie sipped the cool liquid, her mind still spinning from the conversation with her father. She turned to Sarah. “You’ve known my family a long time. Do you have any idea why my father wants this place closed down so badly?”
“Ah.” Sarah set down her glass and frowned. “Still insisting on that, is he?”
“I’m afraid so. I thought . . .” She wasn’t sure how much to admit. “Well, I thought if I proved him wrong, gave him a viable plan, he’d back down and actually give me some credit for the accomplishment.”
Sarah fiddled with a ring on her right hand. “I know that Hal always thought the boys would stay here, that he’d pass the business down to them. Neither one of them was interested.”
“I know. Uncle Jeff told me about . . . well, why he left, I guess. Because he wasn’t ready to be tied down.”
Sarah’s eyes clouded. “I suppose you could put it that way. And Bill never came back after he graduated from college. Went straight to Wall Street and never looked back. Hal gave up trying to convince him after a few years. Their relationship has always been rocky, Natalie. I think Bill tried to stay on good terms, because of his mother mostly, bringing you out here for vacations. But since Nicole died . . . and then Grace . . . well, I’m not sure Maoilios holds any good memories for your father.”
Natalie hadn’t thought about it that way. “You think he’d shut the place down just because it holds bad memories?”
Sarah shrugged. “People deal with grief in different ways.”
“Well, I’m quite optimistic about the future of Maoilios. Uncle Jeff agrees. He’s willing to do all he can to help.”
A small smile lit the other woman’s face. “Is that right? What’s gotten into him, I wonder? He hasn’t wanted anything to do with the place in years.”
“True,” Natalie mused. “I wonder how long he’ll stay.”
Sarah gave a half laugh. “As long as it takes for the wind to change.”
“I don’t know about that.” Natalie smiled and hoped the two would have a chance to talk. “I think he has some regrets.”
“Don’t we all.” Sarah leaned over to stroke one of the cats prowling by her legs. “But then again, if I hadn’t moved to Seattle and met Brian, I wouldn’t have had Marnie and Tanner. Things worked out the way God intended. I have to believe that.” Her voice cracked a little and Natalie caught the tears in her eyes.
“How’s Marnie doing?”
Sarah’s eyes flared, then dimmed. “You don’t know?”
Natalie shook her head. Had something happened and nobody told her?
“Marnie’s in a coma, Natalie. She’s on life support and . . .” Sarah’s face grew flushed, and tears trickled down her cheeks as she drew in a shuddering breath. “The doctors have done all they can. We’re going to have to say good-bye. Soon. Tanner isn’t taking it very well.”
“Oh, Sarah.” Natalie stared, unsure how to process the news, what to say. “I had no idea.”
“Tanner doesn’t like to talk about it. I thought maybe Hal might have mentioned it.”
“No.” She shook her head and wiped her own eyes. “Oh, I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry. Those poor kids.”
“I know. It’s been tough on them. She’s in a private acute care facility not far from here. Thankfully her father has been very generous. We could never . . . well, anyway. At first we’d hoped, prayed for a miracle. But now . . . it’s not meant to be, I suppose.” Sarah gave a small smile and patted Natalie’s hand. “Tanner can come off a little rough sometimes, but he’s got a lot to deal with.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Natalie’s heart ached for all of them. Why did things like this happen? Why did God allow such senseless death? “I know what it’s like to lose a sister.”
“Yes.” Sarah nodded. “Tanner blames himself for what happened to Marnie. There were things . . . well, no use rehashing it, but it’s going to be difficult for him. He needs to forgive himself if he ever hopes to heal.”
Natalie felt a chill run through her. She turned her head to avoid Sarah’s gaze.
What are you really running from, Natalie?
Dr. Sherman had asked her that yesterday. She hadn’t been able to answer him. It would be so easy to admit the truth now, to confide in Sarah, who’d become a friend in a short span of time. But how could she share that memory that kept her up nights; that one lapse in judgment, the tragic mistake she had yet to forgive herself for?
Apparently Natalie had more in common with Tanner Collins than she’d thought.
Tanner trudged up the front steps of the house and kicked off his boots at the door. Gwin bounded in with a bark. Probably hungry. Tanner walked down the hall into the living room to find his dog in Natalie’s embrace. Jeni was stretched out beside her on the couch, covered in a blanket, with what looked to be a new American Girl doll. An open book lay on Natalie’s lap.
Wonderful. He was so not in the mood to deal with his traitorous feelings when it came to Natalie Mitchell. Work was piling up, he was still exhausted, and the week wasn’t over. The only good thing that had happened was Hal firing Leo Kastner on Monday.
“Hi, Uncle Tanner.” Jeni coughed and held her arms out. “Wanna see my new doll? Miss Natalie brought her for me.”
Tanner sent Natalie a curious glance as he bent to give his niece a hug. “How are you, Jeni Bear?” He pressed a hand to her forehead. Nice and cool.
“Nan says I’m all better. Hafta go to school on Monday.” She scrunched up her nose.
Natalie pushed Gwin down and picked up the book. “School’s not so bad, Jeni. Weren’t you just telling me you got bored at home today?”
“Uh-huh.” Jeni’s grin slid out and warmed Tanner’s heart. He’d freaked with how sick she was at the start of this. Of course, his mother downplayed it and said he was overreacting. He probably had been, but he couldn’t imagine anything happening to Jeni. Or Jason. He’d make it to his nephew’s game on Saturday if it killed him.
His gaze slid back to Natalie. Her face was shadowed in soft light that played with the blue in her eyes. A hesitant smile lifted her lips and sent a shiver through him.
Okay, she needed to leave.
Tanner straightened and crossed his arms. “What are you doing here?” Because that wasn’t obvious.
“I came to see Jeni.” She appeared a bit taken aback by his tone.
“Where’s my mother?”
“In the kitchen.”
“Uncle Tanner?” Jason stood in the doorway, textbook in hand.
“Hey, bud.” Tanner stifled a yawn, too aware of Natalie’s stare. Too aware of her presence in his house. With his family. “What’s up?”
“Math. Nan said I had to ask you. She doesn’t know how to figure it out.�
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“Okay.” He took a moment to catch his breath. “Let me feed Gwin, grab a drink, and then I’ll—”
“I can help.” Natalie beckoned Jason over. “Show me what you’ve got there, Jason.”
“But we’re reading, Miss Natalie,” Jeni protested.
Natalie smiled and tapped Jeni’s nose. “I know, but if we don’t save some for later, we’ll be all done. You can’t rush a good book, Jeni. You need to savor it.”
“What’s that mean?”
Her brother huffed. “It means you need to enjoy it. Make it last.” Jason rolled his eyes. “S-A-V-O-R. Savor. Spelling bee last week. Don’t know why we need to memorize stupid words we’re never going to use.”
“Because it furthers your education, Jason,” Tanner quipped. “You could grow up to be a Harvard graduate like Miss Natalie and use all sorts of stupid words.”
A flicker of anger marred Natalie’s features, but she lowered her head and studied Jason’s textbook. Tanner snapped his fingers at Gwin and went into the kitchen.
His mother sat at the table. Working on her Bible study.
Guilt gripped him by the collar and gave him a good shake.
Tanner sighed. Okay, God, I get it.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, hon. How was your day?”
“Long.” Tanner poured kibble for Gwin and refilled her water dish. Impatience stamped out his guilt and he turned back to his mother. “Why is she here?”
His mother hummed, wrote something in her study guide, closed the book, and set it aside with her Bible. Took off her reading glasses and smiled. “If you’re referring to Natalie, she came over this afternoon to see Jeni. Brought her a new doll.”
“I saw.” Tanner opened the fridge and stared at nothing in particular.
He grabbed a soda and slammed the fridge door. “When are we eating?”
“Excuse me?” Her eyes narrowed as she sat back and folded her arms.
“What? I’m hungry.” Fizz shot up his nose and he coughed. “Didn’t know it was a crime to ask when dinner is.” Tanner was fully aware he sounded just like Jason. He put down his soda and flicked through the pile of mail. Nothing from Seattle, thank God. “Any more unwanted phone calls?”
“Not this week.” Her sigh rang around the kitchen. “I’m planning to call Rance and your father tomorrow.”
Air whooshed out of him, and he slammed a hand on the counter.
“If you’re finished there,” his mother said pointedly, “you can set the table. And ask Natalie to stay. Hal was headed out to a new restaurant in town with Jeffrey.”
Tanner shrugged off the request. “I’m sure Natalie will want to go with them.” He strode to the door.
“Tanner.” Her voice took a tone he knew better than to argue with.
“Mom. She doesn’t need to be here.” He couldn’t take anymore.
“Maybe she does, Tanner.” She pulled him back from the door, pinned him with searching eyes. “Natalie wants to give Hal and Jeffrey a chance to talk. She suggested they go out, had to twist both their arms but finally got them to agree. If you think for one minute I’m going to send her up to that big house to eat all alone, think again. Now go wash up, find a clean shirt, and find some manners while you’re at it.”
“Hey, I—” He lifted his hands in protest but she skewered him with a look that said he could argue all night, but he wouldn’t win.
“Go.”
Tanner marched to the bathroom and slammed the door. Sank against the wall and closed his eyes. How much more, Lord?
Twenty-Three
NATALIE HADN’T REALLY WANTED TO STAY FOR DINNER, BUT Sarah insisted. So she suffered through Tanner’s dark looks and unnecessary comments, enjoyed Sarah’s pot roast, and divided her attention between the two children.
Jason was a bright boy, but she sensed an underlying anger that seemed to be directed at his uncle, for the most part. Jeni wanted Natalie to stay all night. Natalie agreed to one more game of Candyland after dinner, but then said her good-byes and pulled on her jacket.
“Thanks so much, Sarah. Dinner was wonderful.”
“We’re glad you could stay. And you didn’t need to help with the dishes.” Sarah smiled and walked her to the front door. “Oh.” She looked out into the dark night. “Where’s your car?”
Natalie peered through the darkness. “It was such a lovely day, I walked down. I wasn’t expecting to stay so long.” A decision she now regretted.
“You can’t walk back in the dark. Tanner, grab the flashlight, hon.”
Tanner was sprawled in the La-Z-Boy, eyes closed, a discarded newspaper on his lap. His dark hair fell forward, his mouth slightly open in slumber. Natalie fought the urge to walk over there and brush his hair back. Considering what a jerk he’d been all night, she’d be more tempted to pull it, so she studied her sneakers instead.
“Tanner!” Sarah’s voice rose as she tried to get his attention.
Natalie cringed. “Honestly, Sarah, don’t wake him. I’ll be fine.”
Tanner sat up, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What? What’s wrong?” His hair was still damp from the shower, mussed and curling attractively above one eyebrow.
“Natalie is leaving.”
Heavy eyes blinked at them. “Okay. See ya.” He flopped back in the chair and closed his eyes again.
“Tanner!” Sarah looked mortified but Natalie shook her head and stepped onto the front porch.
“Good-night, Sarah. I’ll be fine, really.” She bolted before Sarah could do more damage. She was almost to the end of the gravel drive when she heard boots crunching behind her.
“Natalie. Wait up.” Tanner jogged up to her and matched her stride. He shone a flashlight around them before training it on the dirt road. Huddled in a UCLA hoodie, he smothered a yawn, still looking half asleep. Gwin ran circles around them and eventually bounded off into the vineyard.
“You don’t need to come with me.” Natalie pushed forward. The night air was cool and the full moon lit the path she turned down to take her through the vines.
Tanner gave a slight chuckle. “Oh, I do need to,” he answered. “My mother won’t let me back in the house if I don’t.”
“Then just stand out here for a few minutes. I don’t need the light, and I’ve had enough of your pleasant company for one night.”
He cleared his throat and gave a long sigh. “I’m sorry. I’ve been acting like an idiot. Can we start over?” He sounded so worn-out that Natalie simply shrugged, shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket, and walked on.
When she couldn’t stand the silence anymore, she spoke. “Well, I’m sorry if I was rude on Wednesday.”
“Apologies all round then,” he replied, eyes on the ground.
“Tanner . . .” She searched for the right words. “Your mother told me about your sister. I’m so sorry.”
He exhaled, nodded, and ran a hand down his face. “It’s hard for me to talk about. I probably would have told you at some point.”
“I don’t mind that you didn’t.” Natalie shook her head. “I just want you to know that I’m here, if you do want to talk. I don’t want this awkwardness between us. We can’t let one stupid mistake stand in the way of us being friends and working together to save the winery.”
“Mistake?”
Was the man completely daft? “Saturday night. We kissed. That was a mistake. Forget it happened. Okay?”
Oh, but it had. And no matter which way she turned it, it still tipped her world.
Tanner picked up his pace and began to walk up the hill.
Natalie walked faster to catch up to him. “Tanner? Can we move on?”
“Ten steps ahead of you.”
Okay, then. Good. “I found out my father asked Uncle Jeffrey if he’d sell him his shares in Maoilios.”
A low rumble rose from the cavity of his chest. Natalie stole a glance at him. He bent to pick up a stick and threw it for Gwin. “Now what?”
“Oh, he’s not
selling.” Natalie laughed, surprised she wasn’t more afraid of what was coming. “I don’t think there’s much love lost between my father and my uncle.”
“Or between Hal and his sons, by the sounds of it.”
“True,” Natalie surmised. “I know Uncle Jeff regrets leaving all those years ago. I hope he and Grandpa can improve their relationship.”
“I doubt your uncle will stick around long enough.”
“He does have a job, Tanner.” Natalie watched his eyes narrow. “I guess you know the story between him and your mother.”
“That he dumped her at the altar? Yeah, I know the story.” Tanner whistled for Gwin and threw another stick.
“He just told me. I was a little surprised,” she admitted. “I know they were young, but I felt for your mom. I know what it feels like to get jilted.”
Tanner’s angry sigh sailed through the night air. “Men who run away from commitment aren’t worth the air they breathe. They have no concept of the devastation they leave in their wake when they walk out.”
Natalie slowed her steps, catching the fire in his eyes. “Are we still talking about my uncle?”
He walked over to a row of vines and examined the leaves under the glow of his flashlight. She watched him carefully turn the leaf and check out the underside.
“What are you looking for?”
“Mildew. Bugs.” He bent to snag a weed, yanked it by the roots, and tossed it onto the path. “Do you know how long it takes to get a first harvest, Natalie?”
“No idea.” She shot him a tentative smile.
“It can take years. You don’t use your first year’s crop. The fruit is too small, not sweet enough. You have to train the vines, you see. You cut them back, tend to them, keep them free of bugs and disease. It’s not a process you can just walk away from.” He stooped low and came up with a few stray grapes that the pickers had left. Walked to where she stood and held a purple globe to her lips. “Taste.”
Natalie opened her mouth to receive the morsel and allowed the flavor to saturate her taste buds. “Wow, that’s sweet.”
“Too sweet.” Tanner munched on a couple of grapes and spat seeds. “When the fruit begins to ripen, we have to continually monitor what’s going on out here. The ripening process is crucial to our end result. Veraison—when the grapes soften—is when the sugars accumulate, and the taste of the grape tells us when they’re ready. You can’t turn your back on it. Not for a minute.”
The Memory of You Page 21
