“My father had promised to take me to Hollister Holdings that day. I loved going there more than anything. So I told her no, I couldn’t. And that afternoon after we left, my mother overdosed and was rushed to the hospital.”
“Oh Blake,” Penny said, her voice troubled. “I’m so sorry, but it wasn’t your—“
“Yes, it was,” I said firmly. “I should have seen how much it meant to her. Later, I found out that it had been a combination of alcohol and the prescription meds she was taking. Not sure if it was on purpose or not, but it was clearly a cry for help, either way. But by then it was too late. My father put my mother in a rehab program after that, and I didn’t see her for six months.”
“Six months in which you felt terribly guilty,” Penny said quietly. “My heart aches for that little boy.”
“That little boy doesn’t deserve your sympathy. He chose wrong, plain and simple. After my mom was taken away, my father showed his true colors. Brought his mistresses by the house. Left me with the housekeeper for days on end. My father must have been impossible for my mother to live with, and I never even realized how miserable she was. Not until it was too late.”
Penny was silent for a moment, holding my hand. “What happened when she came back?”
“Nothing. Ellen was through with drinking, but she was a shell of her former self. And we had nothing to say to each other. I’d let her down when she needed me most, and we could never get past that. Years later, after I became an adult, we tried to reclaim a more normal mother/son relationship, but it never worked. Until she saw Zoe.”
Tears poured down Penny’s face—yet another part of the X-chromosome package that I would never understand.
Then she did something else I didn’t understand. Despite my story—despite my revealing the worst of myself—she leaned over and kissed me.
Penny
It was pretty surreal, but Ellen was turning out to be a fantastic fake grandmother. On the Monday after meeting her, she sent over a gift basket that contained baby blankets, diapers, toys, books—tons of books—and more. It had been me feel horribly guilty but also, in a weird way, touched.
“How so?” Blake asked when I told him about it on Tuesday. We were having lunch in his private suite again. Zoe was asleep on the bed. She usually didn’t nap at this time of the day, but apparently the excitement of having more babies at the nursery had worn her out. Certainly Pat and his assistant had looked a little bit less energetic when I’d dropped in earlier.
“Well... poor Zoe kind of missed out a bit in the family department. There aren’t a whole lot of people in the world who care about her. There’s me, Jana, Hazel, Pat…” Was it my imagination or did his face darken when I mentioned Pat? Weird. “You, and now Ellen.”
“Glad I made the list,” Blake said, his voice gruff.
“Your mother has also texted me twice, too, asking about Zoe. I sent her some pictures.”
“You did?” Blake paused with a bite of salmon halfway to his mouth. Today he’d ordered food from a nearby seafood restaurant.
“Yes,” I said patiently. “Because she thinks Zoe’s her granddaughter. Because we let her think that.”
“I know, but, when I was a baby, she knew I was her flesh and blood and never seemed that attentive.”
“She’s different now. You are too.”
“I would hope so. Women dig guys who know how to tie their shoes and pour their own milk on their cereal.”
I laughed. “You just figured out my secret turn-ons.”
It was a joke, but Blake cocked an eyebrow at me. “The first two aren’t exactly worthy of a letter to Penthouse, but I’m listening. Tell me more.”
I laughed again—something I was doing more and more of in his presence. Even though he was the big boss, even though he looked as hot as a Hollywood celebrity, I was becoming more comfortable with him. Spending this much time together, it would have been hard not to.
“Seems like that’s something you should be able to figure out on your own.” I never would have said something so flirty if my baby had been awake, but since she was out of it, I was feeling bolder. Not that she understood me, but still.
“I’d love to.” Blake’s voice was low and husky, but thinking of Zoe pulled me back to the issue at hand.
“You can’t let her do this.”
“Who?”
“Your mother,” I said, and Blake groaned.
“Are we ever going to have time to focus on you and instead of my mother or your daughter?”
“Not until we straighten this out. It’s cruel, Blake. When you mother finds out that Zoe isn’t your daughter, she’s going to be crushed. We can’t go on letting her think that.”
“Why not? It’s making her happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen her.”
“But what happens when she finds out?”
“Who says she has to?” Blake was staring past me now, looking in the general direction of my sleeping baby. “You said before that Zoe doesn’t have enough family. Enough people who care about her. I care. I care about both of you. Even though I’m not her father, couldn’t I be a part of her life?”
I gaped at Blake, completely surprised. Was this really the man that my coworkers said was a complete and total playboy? A perpetual Peter Pan type who could be serious at work but only out for a good time in his personal life? And yet… I’d never really seen that side of him. Maybe he’d already been changing when he met me. And my sweet little girl.
Still, this wasn’t right. I wanted a dad for Zoe, more than anything, but it needed to be for the right reasons. Because he loved me. Loved us. Not because his mother had mistakenly thought that he was the father.
“Blake, that’s very… generous. And kind. But… it doesn’t work like that.”
“Why not?” Now he looked directly at me and his rich, chocolate-colored eyes seemed to strip away my secrets.
“Because we’ve barely begun to figure out what we mean to each other. We’re at the beginning of a… a…”
“A relationship. See? I can say the word. Why can’t you?”
“I can. And I want that.” I said the words, and they were partly true, but not entirely. Some stupid, hopelessly naive corner of my mind still hoped that Zorro would show up, claim his love for me and my baby, and we’d live happily ever after. “But this can’t work.”
“Give me one reason.”
“Because we’re still getting to know each other. Because it’s not fair to your mom to make her believe a lie. Because you can’t even pick up the baby.”
His mouth morphed into what could best be described as a pout. He looked so put out that I took a bite of salad to mask the urge to smile. “She likes you. She’d like to be held by you. Babies aren’t as fragile as you seem to think they are.”
“You sound like the instructor the other night.”
Blake’s voice was sullen, and for some reason, it struck me as adorable. “What instructor?”
“For the infant CPR course. Vera told me about it, and I went.”
“You did?” Suddenly, the urge to chuckle at his pouting fled entirely. He’d really done that?
“Yeah, well, when you started bringing Zoe in here for lunch, I thought about graduating to solid food eventually, and god forbid something would happen… It’s no big deal, it was just two hours. Got a certificate and everything.”
He’d really done that? For my little girl? “That’s the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for her.”
He raised an eyebrow, some of his normal confidence returning. “The kind of thing a man who wants to be part of her life would do?”
“Yes,” I said slowly. “Yes, but… it’s a lot more than that. Even being a pro tem parent is a lot of work. You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“So? I’ll learn along the way.”
“Blake… let’s just tell Ellen. Now, before she gets even more attached. And before Zoe gets old enough to get attached to her.”
He reached o
ver and took my hand, waiting until I looked into his eyes. “Would you just think about what I said?”
I sighed. It wasn’t right. It would be accepting a substitute family instead of holding out for a real one. But it had meant a lot that Blake had even offered to take some role in Zoe’s life. I couldn’t let him think I didn’t appreciate that gesture.
“I’ll think about it.”
Blake
“Vera, can you come in here for a second?”
A few moments later, she was sitting across from me in my office. I pulled up a screen on my computer. “What’s this charge for $24,000 for incidentals?”
Vera made a face that can only be described as disgruntled. And then I knew. “Michelle?”
“It’s from a jewelry store in Venice.”
Shit. This was getting out of hand. Usually, Michelle asked for money during our monthly lunches. Occasionally she contacted Vera. But now she was sending bills directly to the company without even asking? “What did she buy, a gondola?”
“I believe it’s for a diamond necklace. I can deny the charge.” I couldn’t help notice the way her lips tugged into the hint of a smile. Vera would just love to deny the charge for Michelle’s necklace. It would probably make her day. Or her week.
I sighed. “No… pay this one from my account, but then no more. And as soon as she’s back in town, bring her in here for a meeting. This has gone on long enough.”
“Will do.”
From the gleeful look on Vera’s face, I knew she’d get Michelle in here the second the socialite set foot back in the U.S.
“Anything else?”
“Yes, please send Penny back.”
A few minutes later, a very different woman was sitting across from me. But I had a feeling that once I told Penny why I wanted to speak with her, her resolve would be just as strong as Vera’s.
I decided to start slowly. “Are you doing anything on Saturday?”
“No.” She was wearing that cashmere shirt she’d gotten at my mother’s house, and it was distracting. It hugged her generous breasts, nipped in at her waist, and then swelled at her hips. The straight black skirt she paired it with did things to me, too. She really was a beautiful woman. I wished I could buy her fancy clothes and then take her to the best restaurants in town. And then take her home and rip those clothes off her.
“What did you have in mind?” Penny prompted.
Shit, how long had I been staring at her, my mind in the gutter?
“We’ve been invited to lunch.”
“Like at that Italian place we sampled? I can see if Jana can babysit.”
“No, don’t. She’s invited, too.”
“She is?” Penny looked puzzled. “By who?”
“My mother. She’s invited the three of us over for lunch. She’s dying to see the baby again.”
“Blake… you have to tell her.”
I knew it. I did. But how could I pull the plug on the one time in my life that I hadn’t let my mother down? Part of me knew that Penny was right, but another part of me wondered what the harm was. My mother was happy. I was happy that she was happy. And Penny was wrong if she thought I wasn’t in this for the long haul. I wanted to be a part of her life. Of her daughter’s life. Maybe I didn’t know all that that entailed, but I was willing to find out.
“She wants to see Zoe so badly. All of us, actually.” That in itself was a shock. True, my mother had been pushing for more of a relationship with me in recent years, but she’d never seemed to be thrilled to see me. Clearly, the addition of a grandchild had changed things. “Please, Penny, it’ll make her so happy. Please do this for her—and for me.”
A war was going on behind Penny’s eyes. I could see it. I didn’t know where the battle lines were drawn, but I registered the moment my side won.
“Okay,” she said. “Just this once. But after that… you have to tell her, Blake. You
just have to. It’s too cruel to let her find out later.”
I sighed as Penny left. Was destroying my mother’s newfound happiness really the right thing to do? We were finally getting along. Zoe had done that. Zoe and Penny. How could I take that away from her?
“Ellen, you should eat something. Everything’s delicious.” Penny tried to get my mother to eat a little, but my mother hadn’t let go of Zoe since we arrived. We were sitting on the deck looking over several acres of woods. Earlier, a deer had stepped through the yard. I’d tried to get Zoe to notice it, but her gaze had stayed glued to my finger, not to what I was pointing at. I guess that skill came later.
Once Penny was done eating the delicate finger sandwiches, it was time for Zoe to nurse. Ellen handed her over with great reluctance, but once Penny was all set up to feed Zoe, my mother asked to speak with me privately.
“Come up to my room, Blake. There’s something I want to show you.”
With slight trepidation, I followed her. Had she found out that Zoe wasn’t mine? But she seemed too content for that. As I followed her up a stairwell to the master suite. It dawned on me that I hadn’t been up here since I was a child.
It hadn’t changed much. Same velvet curtains around the huge master bed. Same dark, imposing wooden furniture. Same stiff chairs she’d bought at Christie’s, that no person in their right mind would find comfortable.
“I’d offer you a drink, but I don’t keep anything up here anymore.” She pointed to the cabinet my father had used to store his liquor collection
“No, mother, I’m fine.” As far as I knew, she hadn’t had a drink in nearly two decades, so I wasn’t sure why she was apologizing for not having something to offer me.
“I could send for something from downstairs.”
“I’m fine, really.” My mother was pacing, her hands tapping awkwardly at her sides. Was she actually nervous? What on earth was she worried about?
“Let’s sit,” she said, and I heard it. A slight tremor in her voice as we sat in the high-back chairs by the window. Then she took a deep breath. “I know I wasn’t always there for you, dear.”
Now I was uncomfortable. It was true, but not what I wanted to dredge up right now. “You did your best.”
“I did,” she said, “eventually. But not in the beginning. Not when it mattered—when you were young.”
“But we’re past that now, mother.”
“Yes, I think we are. Or at least we’re starting to be.”
“So why bring it up now?” I didn’t want to be rude, but I couldn’t think of any other way to phrase it.
“Because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”
What?
“With Zoe,” she elaborated. “You’ve done a lot for that little girl. Penny told me about the nursery you made. How grateful she is that she can visit Zoe during the day.”
“What’s wrong with that?” My words came out more defensively than I meant them to.
“Nothing’s wrong with it. It was a wonderful thing both for your own daughter and for the children of your employees. But it’s not enough.”
“Should I build a school, too?”
“No,” Ellen said, and to my shock, she reached out and took my hand. “That’s not what I meant. You’ve always been generous with your wealth, contributing to charities and helping people out. But babies don’t care about the size of your bank account. Or what you can buy for them. They need attention. They need love. They need physical contact. I’ve never seen you with Zoe in your arms. She’s your daughter, Blake, and she needs you.”
Gently, I pulled my hand out of Ellen’s grasp and rested my elbows on my thighs, leaning forward. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m not blind. I can see that you have a complex history with Penny. You don’t have to tell me anything about it, but my instinct is that you and she broke up at some point and that you weren’t around much during Zoe’s first few months. Am I right?”
I nodded. She had no idea how accurate that was.
“That’s all the more reason to make up
for lost time. To get to know your daughter and to spend as much time with her as possible. Now that you’ve got that daycare on site, you can go visit her throughout the day, too. Spend time with her. Really get to know her. She needs you.”
My gaze was on the carpet, but I was listening. My mother didn’t know the whole story, of course, but I’d already told Penny that I wanted to be a part of Zoe’s life. And my mother was telling me how to do that.
“And you also need to come to terms with how you feel about Penny.”
Now I did look up. My mother thought Zoe was her grandchild, so it was natural for her to look out for Zoe’s interests. But Ellen had no right to delve into my relationship with Penny.
“I don’t know why you’re not together now, but I’ve seen the way you look at her.”
“Mother, I don’t want to talk about this—“
“And I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”
Really? That I could stand to hear more about. My interest must have shown on my face, because my mother continued.
“She cares about you, son. A lot. I would imagine her feelings are a little mixed up at the moment, with you being her boss, and with the responsibility of a baby. But she cares about you. I know she does.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“Then you need to be sure. This is your chance, Blake. To do things right. Better than me. Better than your father. You can have a real family with that wonderful young woman and that sweet, sweet baby. I want you to have something.”
She got up and went to her dresser. When she returned, she had a small box in her hand.
My stomach dropped before I even took it from her. “What did you do, mother?”
“I haven’t done anything. It was my mother’s engagement ring. I want you to have it—just in case.”
“In case what?” I held the box without looking at it.
“In case you want to formalize your arrangement with Penny. Be a real family.”
Tempting: A Cinderella Billionaire Story Page 15
