by Debra Barnes
‘Sure. Take one of me with the children so I can remember them when they’ve all gone back to their families. Come on, children, let’s stand on the front steps so Christina can take our photograph.’
Henriette and I stood in the middle of the back row with two others, three on the middle step, the two smallest at the front and Jacqueline next to us. We all smiled for the camera and Christina took the photograph.
****
I love summer when I don’t have to wear a coat and I can run around barefoot in the garden. That summer we often stayed out until late in Marly Park, such a wonderful place where the only things that mattered were the blue skies, green grass and trees. We weren’t far from Paris, but Louveciennes could have been on the other side of the world.
One day there was great excitement in the orphanage. Jacqueline looked happier than I had seen her for a long time. She took us to a corner of the garden and tried to explain what was happening.
‘Children, I have good news. The war will soon be ending. The British and American soldiers are coming, and the Germans will be leaving.’
We didn’t really understand what this meant, but it was good to see the grown-ups and older children all smiling.
‘Are we going home?’ asked Irene.
‘Not yet,’ said Jacqueline. ‘We have to stay here for the moment, but someone will come for us soon, I’m sure. The good soldiers will come, and the bad soldiers will have to leave.’
This sounded reason enough to put on a show to celebrate, even the monitors joined in; singing and dancing and looking forward to being free soon and going home to our families.
****
Weeks passed, but no news came of when we could return home. The German soldiers still came every day with their lists, and the Denis family continued to be mean, so we stayed out of their way as much as possible. We did get a bit more food for a few days after Jacqueline complained to the Jewish Agency about Monsieur Denis and his family dining on platefuls of meat in front of us when we always went hungry. An inspection was carried out and we suddenly found pieces of meat in our soup. I know Jacqueline was as scared of the director as the rest of us, so it was brave of her to complain knowing she could have been punished for it, but freedom was just around the corner… wasn’t it? That’s what we had thought when the news first arrived of the good soldiers coming but we hadn’t seen any sign of them yet and, day by day, our happiness and excitement faded.
‘Maybe they’ve forgotten about us?’ suggested one.
‘Maybe no one knows we are here,’ said another.
If only that were true.
****
The sun was at its hottest in mid-July and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Jacqueline promised us another picnic in Marly Park. We didn’t have much to take in the way of food, but that wouldn’t stop us from having fun. She told us to wait for her on the front steps as she got our picnic ready. The other children were jumping up and down with excitement, but I felt tired. I sat on the top step and watched them.
‘Come on, Georgette,’ shouted Henriette. ‘We’re having a race up and down the stairs.’
‘I don’t want to play,’ I said.
‘Oh, you lazy thing!’
‘Leave me alone, I don’t feel well.’
‘What’s the matter?’
‘I don’t know. I’m going inside,’ I said, my voice shaking. I felt weepy and I didn’t want the others to see me cry. The bright sunshine hurt my eyes. I had a headache and I felt hot and uncomfortable, so I sat down in the cool, dark hallway.
‘Georgette, are you ready to go?’ asked Jacqueline when she appeared from the kitchen.
‘Yes. No. I don’t know,’ I replied and then I couldn’t stop myself from crying, which is not something I did very often. Jacqueline could tell there was something wrong.
She felt my forehead. ‘You do feel a bit warm. Have you been running around outside?’
‘No.’
‘It’s a bit dark here. Come outside and let me look at you.’
Jacqueline took my hand and led me through the front door. When we got outside I shielded my eyes against the bright sunshine.
‘Oh, my dear. Your eyes are quite red.’
‘Yes, they are really sore,’ I managed to say between sobs.
Jacqueline took me upstairs and put me to bed. She opened the window and brought me a glass of water.
‘I need to take the other children out now, but Louisa will look after you until I get back,’ she said.
Louisa was head supervisor now that Mademoiselle Furst had left. She was usually too busy to have much time for us, but she was kind when she came to see me that morning.
‘Ah, it’s little Georgette. How are you feeling?’ she asked as she walked into the bedroom. I didn’t know how long it was since Jacqueline and the other children left for their picnic because I had fallen asleep.
‘I’m tired and my body hurts a bit,’ I said.
Louisa came over and touched my forehead as Jacqueline had also done. I was rarely sick, so I couldn’t remember anyone else doing that to me before. It felt nice.
‘You’re quite warm.’
‘It’s a hot day,’ I said.
‘Yes, it is,’ laughed Louisa, ‘and you are a clever girl!’ She stroked my hair.
I didn’t feel at all well but I enjoyed the attention.
‘And who is this?’ she pointed to the doll lying next to me.
‘This is Bernadette,’ I said. ‘When my sister is not here Bernadette stays with me instead.’
‘I can see she’s doing a good job of looking after you,’ said Louisa. ‘Why don’t you sleep a bit more and I’ll come back and see you soon.’
Sleep didn’t come so easily now and every time I drifted off I would wake myself up coughing. I felt uncomfortable. By the time Jacqueline and the others returned from the park I had been moved to a small room at the top of the house, which is where the sick children slept. There were two beds in the room and a small table with a basin and jug of water. There was a bedpan too, as it was quite a walk to the bathroom, especially for anyone not feeling well. Opposite the door was a window overlooking the street. The curtains were pulled shut so I could sleep, but the window was left open as it was stuffy at the top of the house. I knew a few children who had spent time here, but all had recovered and moved back downstairs so I wasn’t scared. Until it was known whether I had a cold or something more serious, nobody was supposed to visit me, but when they returned from the park Jacqueline brought Henriette and Claude upstairs to say a quick hello.
‘Are you coming back to our bedroom later?’ asked Henriette.
‘Not tonight,’ said Jacqueline. ‘Both of you will sleep better if Georgette stays up here. She’s quite hot and fidgety.’
‘Do you have Bernadette to keep you company?’ said Henriette.
‘Yes,’ I said, as I pulled our doll out from under the covers.
‘Now, Bernadette,’ said Henriette sternly. ‘Look after Georgette for me. This will be the first night we haven’t slept together so it’s going to be strange… for both of us.’
‘Once Georgette is better you will share your bed again and, anyway, one day you will both have your own husband and family and live with them and not with each other, so this will be good practice.’
‘Never!’ said Henriette. ‘I’m never getting married. Georgette and I will live together for ever!’ Everyone laughed except me; I wanted them to leave me alone so I could sleep. I think Jacqueline could see that.
‘Come on, children. Let’s go downstairs and leave Georgette in peace. We can come back tomorrow.’
****
I didn’t feel any better the next day. When Louisa came to see me, she checked inside my mouth and found some white spots. No one could come and see me, just in case. I didn’t mind not having visitors; I wasn’t in the mood to play. When the doctor came, he confirmed what Louisa had suspected: measles. He said I should be taken to the hospital at Saint-Germain-e
n-Laye. Louisa came to tell me the news.
‘I don’t want to go,’ I said. ‘I want to stay here. I’ll be better soon.’
‘Now, now, Georgette. The doctor knows best.’
‘But they will cut me open at the hospital! That’s what happened to Jacqueline!’
‘Yes, but Jacqueline had appendicitis. You have measles and that is quite different. They won’t “cut you open”. They’ll look after you until you feel well enough to come home. It will probably be for one week at the most. They have lovely, kind nurses who will take care of you.’
‘Can Henriette and Claude and Jacqueline come and visit me?’
‘No. Other people can catch measles easily, so no one is allowed to come and see you for a few days.’
‘But what about you?’
‘I had measles when I was young so I can’t catch it again. Now, let’s get you ready to go.’
Louisa helped me out of bed. As she got my clothes ready, I turned to look out of the window. At that moment my sister was in the garden and happened to look up. When she saw me at the window she smiled and waved, and I waved back. I guess she thought I was feeling better to have been out of bed and looking out of the window. She called something to me. I couldn’t hear but it looked like she asked if I was coming outside to play with her, so I shook my head and waved goodbye. I looked around for Claude, but he was not outside.
When I first arrived at the hospital I was very tired and fell asleep as soon as I was put into a bed. Louisa had come with me, but she had to rush back to Louveciennes and she wasn’t allowed on the ward. When I woke up for the first time in my hospital bed it took me a minute to realise where I was. I looked to either side and saw I was in the middle of a long row of beds, each one the same. White metal bed frames, white walls, white sheets, white curtains on the windows. There were a few nurses walking around and they were wearing white too. It was the cleanest-looking room I could ever remember seeing. There were girls and boys of different ages on the ward. The beds were far apart from each other, not like those in the orphanage, where everyone was squashed together. There was a little table between each bed and some even had screens around them, so you couldn’t see who was in them.
A nurse came over. ‘Hello. Who have we here?’
‘I’m Georgette.’
‘How do you do, Georgette? I am Nurse Emily. Let me look at your chart to see why you’re here. Oh yes, measles. I see that the rash has only just started. Once it’s cleared up and you’re feeling better then you can go home.’
‘Home?’
‘Let me look again, where have you come from? Oh, I see, from the orphanage at Louveciennes. We will do our best to get you back as soon as we can.’
‘Yes, Henriette and Claude will be missing me. We didn’t say goodbye,’ I said.
‘Who are they?’
‘Claude is my brother and Henriette is my twin sister. This is the first time Henriette and I have been apart. Well, I slept in a different room last night and Henriette was not allowed to come and see me much because I’m congagious.’
‘Congagious? Oh, you mean contagious!’ said the kind nurse, laughing gently. ‘Yes, it is best if other people stay away. But we will look after you here.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re a very polite girl. I can see we are going to get along just fine.’
When I got to know some of the other children on the ward, it turned out I was one of the lucky ones. Although I had a fever and a rash and felt horribly uncomfortable, some of the other children were much sicker than I was. I wasn’t sure why I was even in the hospital, so I asked Nurse Emily when she next came to check on me.
‘What is measles?’
‘It’s an illness which can sometimes make children very sick and that’s why it is best to stay in hospital.’
‘Am I very sick?’
‘No, but we want to keep an eye on you just in case.’
There was a box in the children’s ward with books, toys and puzzles in it. Almost all were broken or had pieces missing, pages ripped or scribbled on, but that box was like a treasure trove to me. I was only allowed to get out of bed to use the bathroom but every time I would make sure to visit the toy box and borrow something to take back to my bed. I couldn’t read the books, but I could look at the pictures. No one had time to read to me, I had to imagine the stories they were telling. When I felt tired I wouldn’t actually play with a toy, I would only hold it and make up an adventure for it in my head. There was no such toy box at the orphanage and I had never seen such wonderful things.
****
I had been at the hospital for a few days. The doctor was now satisfied that my measles had been a mild case and I wouldn’t experience any of the nasty complications it can cause. The nurses told me I would soon be going back to Rue de la Paix. I was in bed playing with a puzzle from the toy box. It wasn’t easy as many of the pieces were missing. Suddenly, someone rushed onto the ward and called the nurses over. They were obviously in a hurry and had something important to say. They were talking urgently but quietly. I couldn’t hear anything that was said so I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination, but it looked like they were all looking over at me. When they finished, Nurse Emily came over to my bed.
‘Georgette, you have to leave the hospital now.’ She started to pull off my bedclothes and help me to sit up.
‘Am I going back to the orphanage now?’ I said. I was surprised because I had been told I wouldn’t be leaving for a few days yet.
‘No. You will be going to stay with the bonne soeurs, the sisters.’
‘The sisters? I only have one sister. You mean Henriette, my twin. I’m going back to my sister.’
‘Not right now. The sisters are the kind ladies of the church who will look after you,’ she explained.
‘But—’
Nurse Emily’s voice turned stern. ‘No time for questions! We have to get you ready as quickly as possible.’
I couldn’t understand what the hurry was. I thought I was here to rest, but I stayed quiet and within minutes we were walking out of the ward. I was the only one leaving. The other children were still in their beds, watching me.
I was taken to a small room in another part of the hospital and told to wait quietly. ‘I have to leave you now, Georgette,’ said Nurse Emily, sitting me down. She sounded upset, and there were tears in her eyes. ‘Good luck, child,’ she said before leaving me alone. In the next room I could hear a telephone ring and a muffled conversation. Then the door opened, and a man walked in.
‘Hello, Georgette.’
I couldn’t remember having seen this man before.
‘Hello,’ I replied.
The man walked around the small room. He was rubbing his chin, just like I had seen other people do when they had something important to say but weren’t sure how to say it.
‘How are you feeling?’
I didn’t think that was the important thing he had to say. ‘My head hurts but I feel better than before.’
‘Good, good. Now, Georgette, you must leave the hospital. A man called François will take you to the bonne soeurs who will look after you.’
‘Yes, sir. Nurse Emily told me.’
‘Excellent, but you have to pretend you are someone else. Your name is Isabel and the man who you will be travelling with – François – is your father. That is if anyone stops you or talks to you. Do you understand?’
‘No, sir.’
‘Oh dear. Let’s play a game. Are you good at playing games?’
‘Um, I think so.’ My head began to ache and I wanted this to end.
‘The game is that your name is Isabel and you are travelling with your father François, although of course you call him Papa. You are going to travel by horse and cart. You can sleep in the back if you feel tired or unwell. If anyone stops you, then François will speak to them. You only need to speak if someone speaks to you. Your name is Isabel and you are travelling with your father. That is all you need to say.�
�
‘Alright,’ I said. This game didn’t sound much fun.
‘So, let’s start now.’ He walked around the small room again and then stopped in front of me. ‘Hello, young lady. What is your name?’
‘My name is Geor— My name is Isabel!’ I realised just in time what I was supposed to answer. Thank goodness. If not, we probably would have had to go through the whole thing again and again until I got it right. The thought of lying down in the back of a cart began to feel inviting.
‘Well done, Isabel,’ said the man, winking at me. ‘Ready to go?’
‘Yes, sir.’ I wasn’t ready to go anywhere, but I was ready to go to sleep.
I was led through the back of the hospital and out a small door into the yard where a man was waiting with a horse and cart. He was introduced as François and I was introduced as Isabel. The cart was full of hay and I had been given a couple of blankets, one of which I lay on and the other I allowed François to cover me with despite it being a warm day; it felt safer that way. The only thing I had with me was my doll Bernadette. In a few moments François was driving the cart out of the hospital courtyard and we went on our way.
****
I slept for the first part of the journey. It was difficult to keep my eyes open; the rocking of the cart made me sleepy although I did wake a couple of times when we crossed a bumpy part of the road. We were travelling on narrow roads and lanes, stopping only for a toilet break in the long grass. We had a bottle of water each and some bread and cheese which we ate as we travelled. François spent most of the journey whistling or singing quietly and spoke more to the horse than he did to me, although he did ask me how I was feeling a few times. I was confused and pleased to be left in peace.
François stopped the horse and cart in front of a large stone building at the end of a village. I had no idea where we were. He got down and knocked on the huge wooden door which was opened by a woman dressed in a long grey tunic and a white veil. I had seen women dressed like that in Louveciennes when walking to and from the park with Jacqueline and she had explained they were bonne soeurs from the Catholic Church who devoted their lives to serving God. François helped me off the cart, Bernadette clutched firmly under my arm. He handed me over to my next guardian then, bowing to me and the nun and wishing me well, he got back on the cart and left. I followed the nun inside and the door closed behind us. The hallway was dark and cool.
