by Sadie May
“Where do you think you’re going?” I ask when he comes over and wraps an arm around me trying to usher me to the couch.
“You need to rest,” he says.
I struggle not to roll my eyes. Men and their protective ways. “What I need is to experience another ride on that cock of yours.”
His eyes widen and his grin is killer. Darren laughs softly behind me. “Something tells me this is going to be the best assignment of our lives.”
Chapter Four
Alex
Darren is right, this is far and away the best gig we’ve ever had. We try to keep it professional…well, Darren tries to keep it professional, but that shit just isn’t going to fly.
It’s impossible to keep our hands off Maya, especially when we’re supposed to be with her at all times. There’s no way. It’s like ordering a starving man to keep his hands off the food when he’s working at a gourmet restaurant.
Not going to happen.
So yeah, we get it on…a lot. Every which way imaginable. But we still get the job done. In some ways I’m convinced we’re doing a better job than we’ve ever done before, not only because we rarely leave her side—or her bed—but because we’ve never had such an emotional investment in keeping someone safe.
We always do our best, obviously, but our best isn’t good enough for Maya. She doesn’t talk about it much, but it’s clear to see she’s scared.
She doesn’t talk about a lot of things, which is starting to drive me nuts. Darren says we need to give her space. She’s clearly overwrought between the nonstop tour rehearsals, the envelopes that keep arriving in her mailbox with no return address, and now us keeping her up half the night to fuck.
Not that we’re forcing her, mind you. I tried to get her to go straight to sleep last night when we got back to her place after a long, grueling rehearsal. She laughed, her pretty brown eyes lighting up with laughter as she started to strip off the yoga outfit she’d worn to practice her dance moves.
I tried to hold out and Darren did too, but by the time she sliding the straps down her arms and showing us those perfect, perky breasts of hers we were goners. I had her bent over the back of the sofa in no time and Darren and I took turns giving it to her until she’d come so many times she was ready to pass out in our arms.
But now I watch her on stage and I hate the way there’s shadows under her eyes. Darren seems to be thinking the same thing.
“Tonight our girl needs some sleep,” he says.
I nod. He’s right. No matter what she does to turn us on, we’ve got to make sure she’s taken care of. “Anything new on that last letter?” I ask.
Darren shakes his head. We haven’t let her touch them and we’ve intercepted every package on her doorstep, but she knows they’ve been coming, and they’re getting creepy as hell. Nothing original, mind you, but the usual crazy-ass shit. I’m watching you. You’ll be mine. You’re always mine.
It’s escalated this past week since Darren and I have started up as her bodyguards again, and part of me wonders just how much this pervert sees. I wonder if he knows that we’re fucking her.
We’ve put up all the surveillance, we’ve checked every inch of her home to make sure it’s not bugged in some way…but still. This stalker’s craziness is getting worse and I know in my gut it’s not a coincidence that his insane possessiveness picked up around the same time that we started fucking Maya on a regular basis.
Even if this weirdo doesn’t watch us or hear us, he must know that we’re with her constantly and maybe that’s enough to drive his jealousy to new levels.
I know I’d be jealous as hell if Maya were spending time with another guy and I’m a pretty sane, rational individual.
Darren’s working with some friends of ours at a lab to see what they can get as far as fingerprints or any other identifiers, but so far nothing. When we first started this assignment we looked into the usual suspects. Disgruntled exes or estranged family members. Anyone who would have it out for our girl. Everyone had turned up clean, even her only serious ex-boyfriend, Rodney. He had no priors, not even an unpaid parking ticket. From what Maya told us about him and their breakup, he was a bit of a controlling ass, but he was harmless. Apparently he’d moved on and was dating an elementary school teacher. We couldn’t dig up a single friend or family member with an ax to grind, so we’re at square one.
Always at square one.
Our best bet is this guy is some stranger with an obsession for the show. She’d caught his eye somehow and now he’s got it into his sick skull that she belongs to him. The problem with that though…he could be anyone. Millions watch the show, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
We’re keeping her safe…for now. But I won’t be able to sleep soundly until we find this nutjob and put him away. Aside from us, we’ve got some guys on overnight duty to keep an eye on her place, even though we’ve pretty much moved in for the time being, for all intents and purposes. The only time we return to our homes is to get some new clothes. Partly it’s because we hate to take our eyes off her, but also…
“When this assignment is over…” I start.
Darren shakes his head. “Don’t go there. Not yet.”
I nod. I know the rule. We keep our eye on the prize right now. We can’t afford to daydream about the future when we have a lunatic on our hands. But still….the actual tour starts the next day and in two weeks this will be over, whether or not the stalker has been caught.
And stalker or no stalker, I can’t walk away. I know Darren feels the same. What we feel for Maya has only grown this past week. She’s an intricate part of our lives and I can’t let her go. I certainly won’t let her leave if she’s still not safe, but even if all that crap is over…I know I won’t be able to walk away.
The only problem is, Maya is still talking like this is strictly temporary. Every time things start to feel intimate, every time she comes close to opening up to us, she switches the topic on us, cracking a joke or talking about the tour.
She seems determined to keep this a fuck buddy-slash-work thing. It’s neither for me and Darren, but how do we make her see that?
As if Darren is reading my mind, he says quietly, “We can’t force the issue if she isn’t ready. Especially not now when she’s so stressed out. The last thing she needs is pressure from us.”
I nod, but it doesn’t sit right. Something tells me she’s sad and I need to know why. The feeling only grows as she meets us backstage. This is normally when she’s the horniest and I’m ready to put up a fight. Be firm and say the one thing I never thought I’d ever say, especially to Maya. Sorry, sweetheart, but this cock is off limits until you get some sleep.
But I don’t have to say it. When she comes in she gives us a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes as she gathers up her stuff, unusually quiet and not even a little seductive.
“Is everything all right, babe?” I ask as I help her carry her bags out to the car. I feel Darren’s glare but what am I supposed to do…ignore the fact that she’s acting oddly?
“Fine,” she says quietly.
She slips into the passenger seat and I drive, with Darren behind us keeping an eye out for any cars that might be following us. That frees me up to keep my eyes on the road and my attention on Maya. “Are you sure?”
God, I feel like a nag. But I can feel her emotions brimming beneath the surface. There’s a tension building and it’s been growing for days. If we want her to rest and take care of herself, she needs to let out this tidal wave of emotions first. She needs a release and for once I don’t mean the orgasmic kind.
She shifts in her seat. I know she wants to talk—or at least part of her does. She’s been so busy between rehearsals and hanging out with us that she hasn’t talked to any friends. Trust me, I’d know if she had.
I reach over and squeeze her hand in her lap. She needs a friend and I can be that for her. “You can talk to us, sweetheart. We’ll understand.”
She lets out a long
exhale. “I doubt that. I don’t even understand myself.”
We’re all quiet as we wait for her to continue. I catch Darren’s glare in the rearview mirror but I give him a shrug. I’m not torturing the girl into talking and I’m not trying to push the issue of a relationship. I’m here to listen, that’s all. I try to convey that with a harmless look, hoping Darren gets my telepathy.
From the shake of his head and the eye roll I assume he does. He’ll let this go for now, but he’s prepared to step in and stop me if I try to strongarm her into a relationship once this is over. Not that I would…But I can be pretty persuasive when the occasion calls for it.
“I just…” She starts and then stops, licking her lips as if she’s nervous. Some might be surprised to see the dominatable Maya, star of Singing Sensations, nervous about talking to her bodyguards. But those people wouldn’t know the real Maya.
We’ve gotten to know her well recently, even better than during our first assignment when she was always “on.” Now we see her in her chaotic stage persona frenzy but also afterward when she’s calm and thoughtful. Underneath that bravado is a woman who thinks too much, who battles anxiety and fears just like the rest of us.
The fact that she might finally open up to us about what those anxieties are that are stressing her out…well it makes me happy. Weird, I know. But I’m fucking thrilled that she’s finally going to be totally honest with us. I have to bite my tongue to keep from pushing her to keep talking.
She shoves a hand into her already messy up-do and strands come falling down around her face. “I guess I’m just nostalgic or something,” she says with a small rueful laugh. “I’m already sad about all this ending and it hasn’t even really begun.”
“All this,” I repeat slowly, my heart thumping in my chest. Is she talking about us? Is she saying she doesn’t want this to end? I risk a glance in the rearview mirror and see that Darren is staring at her with an intensity that would shock her if she noticed. He meets my gaze in the mirror and we share a look.
He’s thinking what I’m thinking. Maybe our girl is coming around. Maybe there’s a chance she wants more with us…maybe we’ll have our goddamn happy ending after all.
Or maybe I’m jumping to conclusions and hearing what I want to hear.
“What do you mean ‘all this?’” I ask.
When I glance over I see a telltale blush that makes me want to crow I’m so fucking happy.
She presses her lips together and I can see her battling to talk.
Damn. She can’t close up on me now. Not when we’re so close to figuring this out. I reach over and squeeze her hand again, trying to get her to ease up her death grip on her phone.
“Do you mean us?” I ask softly.
I can practically hear Darren’s silent censure from the back seat.
What? I’m just trying to help her express herself over here. Jeeze.
“Yes,” she finally admits with a sigh. Then she hurries on, her hand pulling out from under mine so she can toy with her hair in a nervous habit. “I mean, that’s part of it. I’ve been having fun.” She gives us a shy smile at that and I fucking beam back at her.
“We have too, baby doll.” Darren leans forward and squeezes her shoulder.
That seems to relax her a bit. “I’m going to miss this,” she says. “All of it. Doing what I love and singing in front of people. Having two sexy guys at my beck and call.” She giggles softly at that and the sound is intoxicating.
This is it. I can keep silent or…ah hell. When have I ever kept my mouth shut? “This doesn’t have to end, you know.”
She’s quiet but I can feel her sharp look in my direction. “The tour will end and your assignment—”
“I know,” I say, ignoring Darren’s glare in the mirror. “I know the tour will end, but I’m just saying…” I clear my throat, suddenly nervous. “I’m just saying this thing the three of us have going on…that doesn’t have to end.”
Ever.
I don’t say that part because I’m worried I’ve already scared her off as it is. She’s quiet for so long I have to force myself to look over. I’m terrified that Darren was right and I’ve pushed too hard, ruining everything.
She’s staring down at her phone in her lap but it’s not on. “I—I don’t think you guys understand. This isn’t really me….”
I wait impatiently for her to explain that, trying not to open my mouth because I know I won’t be able to stop all the questions. Hell, I might just find myself begging her to give us a chance if I let myself talk.
“You guys have only seen me when I’m doing the singing thing,” she says. “I’m different when I’m performing. But that’ll end soon and when it does, I’m going back to my old life.” She gives me a sad smile. “And trust me, there is nothing exciting or sexy about my old life.”
She sounds so miserable I don’t know what to say. Luckily Darren speaks up. “We’ve seen who you really are, Maya,” he says. “And we like her.”
That’s an understatement. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. I turn to Maya. “We love her.”
She gasps and Darren punches my arm. We’d agreed not to scare her off with love talk, even though it’s true. This time I don’t try telepathy. I meet Darren’s eyes in the mirror. “What? It’s true. You and I both know we’re in love with her and it’s time she knows it.”
She’s staring at me with her mouth open and I’m flooded with dirty thoughts of all the ways we can show her we love her.
Focus, man.
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel and force my eyes on the road. “Look, I’m sorry to shock you with that. Darren and I were going to wait and tell you when this was all over—”
“We didn’t want to compromise the assignment,” Darren explains. Then he adds under his breath, “Any more than we already have.”
“But—but—you guys don’t know me,” she starts.
I scoff. “Sweetheart, we may have started to fall for the sexy, fearless spitfire we met on the set of Singing Sensations, but we fell in love when we got to know the real woman underneath.”
I hear her gasp and can’t help but laugh. It feels so damn good to get this off my chest. “The thing is, you are sexy and you are a spitfire,” I say. “You may only show the rest of the world on stage, but we see that side of you too in our bed.”
I can tell she’s about to protest and I reach for her hand again. Her house is coming up in view and I need to get this out. “But there’s so much more to you than that. There’s the quiet homebody who prefers to stay in and watch movies to going out to clubs. There’s the anxious, slightly neurotic young woman who overthinks every move she makes. There the thoughtful sweetheart who surprises us with cuddles and kisses and breakfast in bed.”
I stop because I need to breathe and Darren takes over.
“What Alex is trying to say is that we see all of you, sweetheart. And we love you, just the way you are.”
She’s so quiet as I pull over to the curb that I’m afraid Darren is right about pushing too soon. I’m terrified that I’ve ruined this perfect relationship we have because I’m too damn impatient.
When she glances over at me I see tears in her eyes.
Ah hell.
She reaches for the door handle as Darren scrambles to get out first so he can help her out. She shakes her head. “I need you guys to go home tonight.” Her cheeks flush. “To your own homes, I mean.”
I feel like she’s just thrust a hand into my chest and squeezed. Shit. She’s turning us away. I’ve ruined it.
But then she leans forward and gives me a soft, quick kiss. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be mean. It’s just…I have so much to think about. I’m so scared and I need to figure it out and—”
“We understand,” I say. And we do…even though it sucks.
Darren sighs in the backseat. “We’ll be available if you need us tonight.”
She nods. “I know. Thanks.” She gestures to the cars that are already parked out
front, our night guys. “I’ll be in good hands.”
I nod. She will and I know that, but I hate that she’s leaving us, even for just a night. But she needs space and we need to give it to her.
Even knowing that, pulling away from her house feels wrong.
Chapter Five
Maya
My throat hurts from pent-up tears as I let myself into my house with shaky hands. I’m not scared—I’ve got the guards out front and I’m too distracted to be scared of anything than these feelings.
I lean back against my front door for a moment and let the tears come. I can’t hold them back anymore, and I know I’m being ridiculous.
Alex and Darren—they just told me everything I want to hear. They singlehandedly handed me my dream right there on a platter and I’d frozen, just like I always do when my dreams are in reach.
What if they change their minds? What if they don’t really mean it? What if I leap into this and they break my heart?
What if, what if, what if?
This is why I need space. I need to think this through. Everything has been happening so quickly lately. I went from being a super star to being plain old me to being a super star again in the blink of an eye. I went from single and lonely to having two hotties in my bed every night.
And the thought of losing it scares me…but so does the thought of seeing their disappointment if they’re wrong and I’m not who they want me to be.
After several long heartbeats, I shove away from the door and head to the kitchen. I’m fucking tired as hell but I need something in my stomach before I can pass out.
Ha! As if I’ll be able to sleep after that conversation. My crazy anxious brain will be replaying every gesture, every word until I pass out from sheer exhaustion.
I open the refrigerator door and reach for a yogurt and then—
Nothing.
That’s the last thing I remember. Next thing I know I’m waking up with a killer headache and I’m not in my home.
