Our forebears invented throwing sticks, spears, bows and arrows, and intercontinental ballistic missiles for a good reason. The farther you are away from your adversary to deliver a blow, the safer you are. Close proximity to aliens equals danger. Increased distance from aliens equals safety. Whenever possible, utilize weapons and tactics that put as much distance between you and your alien target as possible.
Hand-to-hand combat is a tactic of last resort. Any close combat situation exposes you to the threat of significant personal injury. A misplaced step, a momentary distraction, or indecision, and you could find yourself on the examination slab with your lower alimentary canal open for business.
If it does come to a fight, make sure you throw the first punch. It is vital that you take the initiative in any combat situation. Don't wait for the perfect moment; that may never come. The only way to be safe is to hit first. The element of surprise has been used for millennia to secure an advantage in conflict situations. The upper hand in combat comes in the form of a closed fist.
Aliens are highly intelligent and cunning opponents. They will use every dirty trick in the book in order to win a battle. Many have underestimated their ruthless resolve and suffered the consequences. Their desire to vanquish is as strong as your desire to live. Stay alert and watch your back. Never assume that an alien is no longer a threat just because it is down for the count. Many an unwary human has made this assumption to their great regret. We have all seen the horror movie or thriller where the hero fails to finish off the villain, through some misguided sense of pity or morality. The bad guy invariably recovers just enough to have one last attempt at destroying the hero. Don't let feelings of awe or sympathy cloud your judgment. Take no chances; deliver the final blow for the sake of humanity.
There are no rules governing our interactions with hostile alien forces. Your actions are not bound by any legal conventions, treaties, or ethical restraints. Your response must be what the situation demands. This may or may not include what some people call cruel and unusual treatment. Do the ends justify the means? Only you can determine what is the appropriate course of action in each unique situation. History will ultimately judge whether those actions were warranted in order to save the planet from alien domination. You just have to do what you have to do.
Once you've given it all you've got, get out of there as fast as you can, before the reinforcements arrive. You may prevail against a small number of aliens, but your chances of success are inversely proportional to the number of aliens you engage. Those who fight and run away, live to fight another day. In sum: Hit first, hit hard, then run.
CLOSE-QUARTER COMBAT
Close-quarter combat involves a physical confrontation between two or more opponents, in this case, you and one or more aliens. This will be the most common form of engagement with the enemy, as most encounters with aliens occur during abduction attempts. Abductions are, by their very nature, up close and personal. These encounters are usually at times when you are off your guard and at your most vulnerable. The alien strategy is to abduct citizens in situations that pose the least amount of threat to themselves. Your greatest asset will be the element of surprise.
Little will they expect that they have selected a human specimen who is not only on to their little game, but prepared to beat them at it. You possess both the knowledge and skills to thwart their insidious plans and turn the tables on their enterprise, sending them packing with their metaphorical tails between their legs.
The goal of close-quarter combat is to be prepared to use either armed (e.g., knife, rifle, baseball bat, potato peeler) or unarmed (hand-to-hand) techniques to vanquish your intergalactic adversaries in as short a time as possible, while incurring minimal injuries to yourself. The nature and amount of force required will depend on many factors.
The goal, however, will always be the same: to defeat your foe. The end result can be either lethal or non-lethal, depending on the desired outcome.
YOUR BODY AS A WEAPON
You will not always be carrying a weapon when confronting your alien foes. Being fully armed in day-to-day situations is not only impractical, but can also be highly undesirable. There is, however, one weapon from which you cannot be parted: your body. With thorough knowledge and training in some basic hand-to-hand combat skills, you will have everything you need to get yourself out of many sticky situations.
Fingers: Poking, Ripping, Gouging, Tearing
Fingers are an extremely versatile weapon. They can be used to inflict all manner of nasty injuries on your alien opponent. One obvious target to aim for is an alien's eyes. Eye gouges are achieved by forcefully thrusting the tips of your fingers or thumbs into an alien's eye sockets. This will have the effect of blinding your opponent, providing you with a chance to deliver a fatal blow.
All parts of the eye are equally as sensitive. A particularly enthusiastic gouge may result in your fingers or thumbs penetrating the eye membrane and sinking into the internal vitreous gel. This feels akin to plunging your thumb into a ripe mango, and, although somewhat unpleasant the first few times, it is not something that should distract you from the task at hand.
FIGURE 4.1: Use your fingers for gouging.
Other areas of the alien body are also vulnerable to a digital attack (see sidebar on page 128), but remember, during molting season, an alien skin may peel off in large strips into your hands. Although disconcerting when experienced for the first time, molted alien skin is not dangerous. However, any momentary hesitation on your part may provide aliens with the opportunity they need to gain the upper hand.
Hands: Striking and Punching
Your hands can become formidable weapons during close-range combat. A wide variety of punches and strikes can be used with lethal effect. Although it is possible to strike a lucky blow, your fists, like any weapon, will serve you best if you gain confidence and proficiency through thorough training. Always target your strikes toward your opponents' vital points or nerve motor points. This will have the effect of either taking them out in the first instance or momentarily incapacitating them, giving you an opportunity to finish them off.
Elbow Strikes
Elbow strikes are blows delivered with the point of the elbow or a part of the upper arm or forearm near the elbow. They may be delivered in a downward motion, thrown sideways (either forward or behind), or with an upward thrust. When used properly, the elbows are capable of tremendous striking power and can be used to attack almost any part of an alien's body. The obvious target for an elbow strike is the alien's head, but never forget the rib-cracking potential of a blow delivered to the upper torso or the organ-rupturing possibilities of a sharp jab to the abdominal region. Ensure strikes are delivered swiftly and forcefully.
FIGURE 4.2: Hand strikes can be devastating.
FIGURE 4.3: An elbow can deliver a powerful strike.
Knee Strikes
The knees are a formidable weapon when wielded with skill and vigor. There is little your flimsy alien adversary will be able to do to defend itself against a barrage of well-placed knee strikes. Knees can be enthusiastically applied while your alien opponent is standing or lying on the ground, cowering for mercy. Try to knee target areas, including your opponent's face, head, ribs, hips, stomach, thighs, or solar plexus. Continue to knee your opponent until it is disabled.
Kicks
Kicking is a very good way of attacking an alien because it allows you to keep some distance between you and your opponent. Plus, your legs contain the largest muscle group and are capable of producing powerful strikes. They are also protected from injury to some degree by footwear.
A combination of kicking and then stomping on a downed alien is sometimes an effective way of bring your disagreement to an end. Remember to use your heel to deliver a volley of targeted strikes to vital areas.
Choking
An adult's hands will easily encircle an alien's neck, which is not much thicker than an average forearm in circumference. If you can wring the water out
of a dishtowel, you have all it takes to strangle an alien.
FIGURE 4.4: Knee strikes are a good close-range technique.
FIGURE 4.5: Kicks are devastating and can help maintain distance.
Choking is an effective way of taking the wind out of your adversary's sails. You must, however, be prepared to hold on to a writhing alien's neck for the duration of the ride. As aliens are capable of holding their breath for upward of twenty minutes, you may not have sufficient time to stick around until they lose consciousness.
Rather than targeting the respiratory system, it is usually more efficient to cut off the alien's blood supply to its brain by clenching the arteries on the side of its neck, which can result in unconsciousness within two to three minutes. This period of unconsciousness is somewhat brief. Use this window of opportunity to finish the alien off. A sharp twist to the head by 100 degrees or more will generally suffice, snapping the vertebrae in its neck like a carrot.
FIGURE 4.6: Use choking to cut off the alien's blood supply.
THE ETHICS OF VIOLENCE: IS IT WRONG TO KILL ALIENS?
When you find yourself in hand-to-hand combat with your alien foes and have the choice of either taking them out or being abducted, violated, and subjected to the gross indignities of forced medical experimentation, the last thing you want to have on your mind is the ethical implications of your actions. You must have no doubt that what you are doing is morally justifiable. When you put that bullet between those two bug eyes, you need to be able to go home and sleep soundly in the knowledge that you've done the right thing.
Humanity has a long and bloody history of butchering other sentient species on Earth for our own benefit. Animals are routinely slaughtered for food, clothes, leather, “vermin” control, and even entertainment and self-aggrandizement. Most of us never give a second thought to the countless beasts that suffer and die so that our species may dominate. No one thinks about the cute lamb frolicking in the fields when we pick up cellophane-wrapped chops at the supermarket. An alien should be afforded as much consideration (meaning, none) while you're dragging a cold blade across its slender neck.
A strange quirk of evolution has resulted in our species holding the power to decide the fate of all other species on planet Earth. Our genetic heritage, crafted by the laws of “tooth and claw” and the survival of the fittest, has given us dominion over all we survey. But our position is tenuous. We must continue to fight for it. We now face an extraterrestrial enemy that, like us, has an indomitable desire to vanquish all “lesser” species, which by their measure includes us. Yet, despite the obvious intelligence and superior technologies of our alien visitors, they are not human, and we are therefore under no obligation to grant them either “human” or “civil” rights. We need not show restraint. We can discharge both barrels with confidence. Murder, by definition, is a word reserved for the deliberate killing of other individuals of our own species. This term cannot be used to describe the intentional killing of aliens.
Questions of ethics, no doubt interesting to philosophers and academics, should not cloud your mind in an alien-conflict situation. The bottom line is, when placed in an “us or them” situation, moral considerations fly out the window. Shoot first, angst later. It is your duty — not only to yourself and your family, but also to your species — to prevail, no matter how great the alien body count.
Remember, you are not the ruthless tyrant, you are not the relentless oppressor, you're just a guy defending your home, planet Earth. Any planet worth living on is worth fighting for.
If the only thing standing between an alien and the rest of humanity is you and a .44 caliber Smith & Wesson, then go ahead … make my day.
WEAPONRY: ASSEMBLING YOUR ARSENAL
Although few people will have access to military weapons during a close encounter, many will be able to lay their hands on conventional weapons of death: Uncle Albert's hunting rifle, the carving knife you used to cut last Sunday's roast, a screwdriver in the toolbox in the back of your SUV — all can be added to your personal arsenal. Adaptability is the key to success in any tight situation; your resourcefulness will determine who prevails when you unexpectedly come face-to-face with your alien foes.
FIREARMS
The secret to successfully shooting aliens is quite simple: You find them, and you shoot them. This strategy first gained notoriety during the Boer War in South Africa at the beginning of the twentieth century. Harry “Breaker” Morant, an Englishman who enlisted in the Australian Armed Forces to aid the British war against Boer “commandos,” was given a directive that any Boers wearing khaki (the color of the British uniform) could be shot on sight. He was subsequently brought to trial over following this order. When asked by the court under what rule he had killed the Boers, he said he had shot them under “Rule 303,” a reference to the Lee-Enfield rifle commonly used by the British Army at the time.
Find them and shoot them. Applying this straightforward rule of engagement of our alien enemies is both a simple and effective strategy. If you have the means to take them out, then authority is granted under “Rule 303.”
A wide variety of firearms can be successfully employed to ruin an alien's day. The humble BB gun, wielded by skillful hands, can inflict fatal wounds. Even if you're out of ammo, don't turn and run away; you can still use your firearm to bludgeon the offending alien to death.
Don't leave it to the last moment to familiarize yourself with firearms. They are not a weapon for the uninitiated. Join a local gun club and pump off a few rounds every couple of weeks; practice is the key to success. Although you may not need to be able assemble an AK-47 while blindfolded, it would be prudent to be comfortable loading a pump-action shotgun, finding the safety lock on a Smith & Wesson 9mm handgun, and adjusting the sights on a Remington bolt-action hunting rifle. You never know what firearms may be at hand when you encounter an alien landing craft.
Away from the protection of their spaceship, aliens are sitting ducks. If you have no trouble sinking a few rounds into a watermelon or pumpkin at 50 yards, then you won't have any problem dropping an alien or two. Their heads stand out like neon beacons on a moonless night and are the most obvious targets. Don't bother aiming for their spindly limbs or torso. Not only are these body parts difficult targets due to their size, but gunshot wounds may not result in an instant kill. A clean headshot is usually enough to drop an alien on the spot.
Still, aliens are not always the easiest targets to hit. They can be exceedingly fast and agile, sometimes utilizing a chameleon-like ability to blend into their backgrounds. If they know you're armed, even the most skilled marksman will find hitting one a challenge. Your best chance is a well-planned and well-executed ambush.
BLADES
Bayonets, machetes, knives, scythes, cutthroat razors, and any other implement with a sharp edge are all effective weapons for close-quarter combat, particularly disemboweling or slashing the throat of your alien adversary. However, due caution must be exhibited when using any blade, as sharp-edged weapons are as much a danger to the untrained hand as to the enemy, and in some cases even more so.
The goal of any knife attack on an alien is, of course, to disable it as quickly and efficiently as possible with minimal injury to yourself. To achieve this, attack an alien's vital areas, including the front and sides of the neck, heart, lower abdomen, groin, and face. Wounds to secondary target areas, such as the legs or arms, can result in substantial blood loss, which, though not immediately fatal, could be sufficient to put your opponent out of commission.
The technique employed during a fight will vary depending on the situation, but it may include a range of basic cutting, slashing, stabbing, and thrusting maneuvers. Remember to apply your full body weight to each stroke, and watch your back for alien reinforcements.
BLUNT WEAPONS
When confronted by an alien with hostile intensions, you must be prepared to utilize whatever you find around you as a weapon, and be willing to do whatever it takes to gain control of the situ
ation. Blunt weapons are available in a multitude of forms in almost any situation you find yourself in. Sticks, baseball bats, golf clubs, billiard cues, chairs, handheld tools, and flowerpots can all be used with lethal effect.
How blunt weapons are used will, again, depend on the circumstances, but combat techniques will generally include striking, thrusting, and choking maneuvers. The impact of a blunt weapon produces significantly more damage on the delicately framed body of an alien than on a human. For maximum effect, target the alien's head. Blows to its torso and limbs will often result in significant bone breakage, which may deter your alien foe from engaging in further pursuit.
WEAPONS OF OPPORTUNITY
There may be situations when you find yourself in a location with no conventional weapons at hand. At these times, you will have to draw on your ability to improvise and use whatever resources are available. The range of potential weapons at your disposal is only limited by your imagination. Even the humble potato peeler, when wielded by a trained hand, becomes a lethal weapon.
Borrowing From the Toolshed
The average toolshed is a veritable Aladdin's cave of lethal weapons. From the electric hedge trimmer to the two-stroke weed eater, the gardening tools in the corner to the twelve-piece screwdriver set, your potential to unleash carnage on your alien opponent is virtually unlimited. Even ill-equipped sheds usually have all you need to make homemade incendiary devices, such as Molotov cocktails. Your greatest problem: making the right choice.
The Alien Invasion Survival Handbook: A Defense Manual for the Coming Extraterrestrial Apocalypse Page 9
