by C. A. Harms
Rhett began to cry out with impatience, and I had no choice but to walk the remaining distance down the hallway. When I entered the kitchen, they both were looking in our direction.
“Well, someone’s tired. Look at those sleepy eyes.” Maria took Rhett from me and gave him his sippy cup. In no time at all, I knew he would be ready to crash.
Reed leaned back against the counter, crossing his ankles. “I was gonna offer to put Rhett’s bed together. Your mom says he climbs outta the crib. But I can come back another time. I don’t think he’ll last.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty tired. He’s really gonna love that bed, though. I can’t wait to see his face. I’m sure I won’t have a problem getting him to sleep in it.” Reed chuckled, and I got a flash of that dimple that peeked out on occasion.
“I guess I’ll get going. I need to swing by Lucky’s, check on some things.” I nodded as I watched him take another step in my direction. His hand came out, and he wrapped it around my shoulders, pulling me closer. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of my head. “Thanks for inviting me. It really means a lot that you involved me today.” He pulled back and pointed into the living room. “That kid you got in there, he’s pretty special.” He winked before releasing me to walk over to the couch. Leaning forward, he kissed the top of Rhett’s head, and once again tears pooled in my eyes. “Goodnight, little buddy. Happy birthday.”
He said goodbye to Maria by placing a kiss against her cheek before he stood and walked to the front door.
I stood motionless as I watched Reed look back over his shoulder one last time to flash that dimple. He was such a handsome man. He had those eyes that made you feel safe and secure. He turned and closed the door quietly behind him. The roar of his truck came to life as he drove away.
It was at that point I let my shoulders relax and joined Maria on the couch.
I knew I was in trouble. The overwhelming urge to be near him was getting to be too much to handle.
Chapter Fourteen
Monday was a hard day, really hard. I couldn’t get out of bed. I took a sick day from school. I would have been useless in front of a classroom, there was no doubt about that.
I called Momma around seven in the morning and asked her to come and get Rhett. I needed the day to grieve, and I didn’t want him to see me like that.
It was gonna be a bad one, and I knew that.
I finally crawled out of bed around one and made some coffee. My eyes were swollen and red. My nose was raw from all the blowing.
Climbing in my car, I already knew I looked like ass; I felt it. I drove with no particular place in mind. Pulling up at Lucky’s probably wasn’t the best choice, but the hell with it. I went inside and ordered a beer. Drinking on a Monday afternoon was not me, but today was the exception. I deserved this, I needed this. For just one day I had to wash away the hurt, the emptiness.
I lost track of the bottles, but I knew it was enough when the room became a little fuzzy. The chair squeaked against the floor next to me, and I lifted my head. Big, brown, saddened eyes looked over at me, and I could no longer pretend I was so put together.
My lip began to tremble, and he took me in his arms.
“I miss him,” I cried. “I miss him so much.”
“Shh, I know,” Reed comforted me. “I wish I could make it stop hurting, Kori. Just let it out, let it go. I’m here for you.”
I did just that. I let him take me completely in his arms as he carried me from the bar and placed me in his truck. When we arrived at my house, I leaned on him, walking up the driveway. I sat down on the couch, and he took the seat next to me. “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess.”
“Hey,” he said and tilted my chin up with his finger, forcing me to look at him. “You don’t need to apologize. I told you, if you need to lean on someone. I’m here. I meant that, Kori.” He took my hand in his. “Blake will always be in your heart, you’ll always love him. He is the father of your boy. Every day you’ll be reminded of him, looking into Rhett’s eyes. It will get easier, but it never fully goes away.”
“I just wish I had things to remember him by. I never planned for this to happen. I feel like every day I forget more and more of him. It’s harder to picture his face, harder to remember his voice. I have nothing but a few pictures to show Rhett when he gets older, that’s it.”
“What about things from him growing up? His parents have to have things Rhett can have. Videos, anything they can pass on.” Reed still held my hand.
I shook my head. “His parents don’t want anything to do with Rhett. They didn’t want Blake with me. After the funeral, they tried to pay me off to stay out of their lives.” His face grew angry and the muscle in his jaw tensed. “It’s not a big deal.”
“That is a big deal, Kori. What kind of people would push away the only attachment they have left to their son? Who would push away such an amazing kid and amazing girl?” I smiled at his kindness and shrugged.
Reed stayed with me for hours, just talking. He listened to stories about Blake and me. It was slightly awkward at first, but then we fell into friendly conversation. It felt good to have someone listen. He never spoke, just listened as I went on and on. The good, the bad, and the great, he listened to it all. I left out the intimate conversation because, frankly, that was not necessary.
We ordered pizza, and Reed put the bed together for Rhett. It was comfortable, no pressure. Nothing was expected. Reed was being a friend, and right now I needed that from him.
***
Over the last few days Reed and I had grown closer. A friendship that felt good. We fell into a comfortable pattern. He would call or send a random funny text, something to make me smile. Nothing beyond that. He was being what I needed him to be, and I was grateful. He had such an incredible soul.
The weekend came, and it had been over twenty-four hours since I’d spoken with him. I sent him a text offering to make dinner tonight, but it went unanswered. It wasn’t like him to ignore me, but I tried not to let it get to me. He had to be busy.
“Nothing yet?” Maria asked as she walked up onto my front porch. I held my phone in my hand and watched as Rhett played with his tractors in the grass. I only shook my head.
“His truck wasn’t at Lucky’s when I drove by,” she said, taking a seat next to me on the steps.
“It wasn’t there last night either.” I didn’t want to worry, but it was getting harder not to with each passing second.
When Saturday morning came, I woke to a text.
I had to go out of town for a few days. Sorry if I made you worry. I will call you when I get back.
Out of town?
***
Maria and I spent the day at the mall on Sunday. Halloween was less than a week away, and I wanted to find the perfect costume for Rhett. I had still not heard from Reed, and it was a little unnerving. It was kind of weird how much the distance made me miss him.
I had grown used to his company. It had become something I had learned to rely on. His friendship made the days a little easier to handle. Now that he was not around, it left a slight emptiness in my life. This was a feeling I had to admit I was not fond of.
After combing through the racks of Halloween costumes, I had finally settled on the cutest little cowboy costume. Woody from the Toy Story movie. It was adorable, and I could hardly wait to get it on Rhett.
Sunday night I noticed I started to fall back into my old pattern. I grabbed a bottle of wine and Blake’s picture and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. The night was a little chilly as I took a seat on the porch swing.
I traced my finger over the photo and let my mind wonder over memories of Blake. Crunching on the gravel drive and a flicker of lights caught my attention. There was no mistaking who the big truck approaching belonged to. I swore that thing had to be the biggest truck in town.
I watched from the swing as Reed walked up the sidewalk toward the porch. He smiled and took a seat next to me.
“Miss me?”
I wr
inkled my nose and continued to look out toward the front yard. “Not really.” His shoulder bumped mine and I smiled. “Is everything okay?”
He grinned, and his eyes locked with mine. “It will be.”
It was left as that, nothing further to explain his absence. He didn’t owe me an explanation, and I didn’t pry. It was none of my business.
Chapter Fifteen
Reed and I had fallen right back in to the old pattern we had created. Hanging out throughout the week, staying up late talking became somewhat natural.
During the week he stayed busy with the jobs he had lined up throughout town, remodeling a bathroom here and building a back porch there. Between the side jobs and the bar, he stayed busy. It made him happy, though, you could see it in his eyes.
Halloween fell on a Thursday, and I planned to take Rhett out to visit a few places. The candy wasn’t really the reasoning behind it, it was more to show off how cute he looked.
His little Woody costume fit him perfectly, and the boots Reed got him pulled it all together. I planned to start at my parents’ house. My momma was itching to fill up the memory card for her new camera. I still couldn’t get over the fact that it was permanently attached to her. She photographed everything. I do mean everything. Some I deleted when she wasn’t looking.
I could understand capturing the embarrassing photos to share with Rhett’s girlfriends when he got older. Those photos were fine, but nowhere had I ever heard of embarrassing photos of the mommy. I would not have some of those moments following me forever.
By the time we made it back home, Rhett was exhausted and beyond cranky. Once he was bathed and in his jammies, I took advantage of his cuddling mood. Wandering the room with his little body held snuggly in my arms, I swayed from side to side.
“I love you, Buddy,” I whispered against his temple as I watched his eyes begin to grow heavy. “Daddy loved you too. One day I’ll tell you all about what a great guy your daddy was. How excited he was when he found out he was having a son. He had it all planned out.” I carefully lowered myself to the recliner and rocked gently.
“He said he was going to teach you how to throw a curve ball...how to dunk the basketball and make all the little girls swoon.” I grinned and let my head fall backward against the chair. I pictured the time Blake talked about making our son into a ladies’ man.
“He’ll have them lined up around the block, babe. We are going to be in trouble with this one. He’ll wink, and they’ll have weak knees. My boy is gonna be a ladies’ man.”
I laughed, and Blake kissed my protruding stomach.
“What’s so funny?” He traced around my belly button and looked up at me. “My little man is going to be the shit. The coolest clothes, the sweetest moves.”
A distinctive thump against Blake’s hand led us both break out in laughter. “See, I told ya, even he knows I’m right.”
I had no doubt Blake would have been training Rhett to be a little player, making even a grown woman smile. Blake always tried to appear tough, rebellious, and maybe even a little cocky. That was just an outer shell; he was the opposite. His heart was made of gold, and he was so kind and gentle, the exact man you would want as the father of your children. The kind of man they respected, and he knew just how to treat a lady.
When I knew Rhett was in a deep sleep, I placed him in his tractor bed. He was in love with this bed. It even had a horn. Crazy, I know, but the perfect bed for my sweet boy. I flipped on the nightlight on the top of his dresser. I pulled the door shut, leaving it slightly cracked.
***
Friday flew by without too much drama. One of my students ate glue, another colored his teeth with a green crayon. Other than that, things were smooth.
Just after three, my phone beeped, indicating a new message.
You free tonight? Lucky’s having a band. You girls should stop by.
R
It had been awhile since I had gone out. Maybe a couple hours away would do me good.
Let me check with Maria. I’ll let ya know.
Sounds good. R
Once I gathered all my things, I met Maria just as she was walking out of her classroom. She looked as if she had suffered from one hell of a day. Her hair was sticking out on the side, ponytail crooked, and her eyebrows were scrunched up.
“What happened to you? Were you mauled?” I could no longer contain my laughter. I attempted to hide it the best I could behind my hand. It was a completely failed endeavor.
“Never, and I do mean never, will I ever do that project again. Not with third grade boys. They painted each other instead of the paper. I was scrubbing paint off the ceiling. It was in my damn ear, Kori. It turned into a war zone.” She groaned, and her explanation of her distraught state only made me laugh harder.
Once I was able to contain my laughter, I wiped the tears that had escaped from my eyes. “Well, Reed invited us to Lucky’s tonight, and from the looks of it, you could use a night out.”
Maria threw her bag into the backseat of her car with a ‘hmph.’ “You have no idea how badly I need a drink.”
“So then it’s settled, tonight we are going out.”
***
The band was already playing when we arrived. There were so many cars, the place was packed. Maria was determined; she was on a mission. “I need to get hammered, girl, let’s get our drink on. I seriously don’t care if I feel like ass in the morning.”
We found Reed behind the bar, mixing drinks, so we snagged two empty stools at the end. I watched him moving around, confident and smooth. He hadn’t yet noticed us, so I took the chance to evaluate his…uh, assets. Reed had the sexiest, most masculine thighs. He had on frayed, faded jeans that had the ability to make my lower stomach ache. The fitted red shirt left very little to the imagination. It contoured to his broad shoulders and muscular chest. He was one very sexy man.
Surveying the bar, I took notice of the fact that I was not the only female appreciating his manliness. Reed ate it up too, winking and chuckling, his every comment dripping with sexual innuendo.
“Hey, hot stuff, whatcha gotta do to get a drink in this joint?” Maria stood up on her bar stool waving a twenty in the air. Reed looked back over his shoulder and shook his head before making his way in our direction.
“Glad you could make it, Mar. I would have missed your attitude.” Reed leaned against the bar and chuckled.
“Yeah, yeah, now where’s my shot?” She threw the twenty down on the bar. “Make it two shots.”
“Bad day?” Reed asked.
“Please don’t get her started again.” I shook my head in fair warning. “She has one goal tonight, and she will be crawling out of here.”
“Well then, I better get you started, babe.” Reed filled three shot glasses and pushed her twenty back toward her. “Keep the green and drink up.”
Someone yelled from the other end of the bar, and Reed made his way down in their direction. Once again I was able to take in the view from a distance. He really was fun to look at. I would not admit it out loud, but he still made my heart race.
The night went on, and Maria wasn’t far from her goal. The more she drank, the louder and mouthier she became. One man asked her to dance, and she asked him if he was packing. The guy looked at her with a questioning stare. When she explained what she meant, I spit my beer across the table, hearing my best friend tell a man that if he doesn’t have more than eight inches, she ain’t interested. She then went on to explain how she needed a man, not a boy. The guy’s face was a little red from embarrassment, and I walked away, leaving her alone to continue her conversation. She was really something else.
Reed sat another beer in front of me on the bar and winked. “You having a good time?” I shrugged. “I wasn’t planning on working all night but Wade called in. His baby is sick.”
“It’s okay, Maria has been more than enough entertainment for one night.” I looked back over my shoulder and pointed in her direction. Reed chuckled, and his gaze met mine o
nce more.
He leaned over the bar to get closer, and I could tell in his eyes he had been drinking a little himself. I could smell the beer on his breath when he spoke. “I’m really glad you came tonight. I missed seeing you this week. You always seem to brighten my day.”
A familiar clink of high heels interrupted my thoughts as they approached from behind me.
Kimberly walked around the edge of the bar and placed her hand on Reed’s arm. “Hey, baby,” she cooed, and I rolled my eyes. I watched as she slid her hand down into the pocket of his jeans and felt around. He looked stunned and shifted his hips backwards.
A few loud whistles followed by catcalls and some vulgar comments filled the bar. I had seen enough and slipped back off the bar stool, taking my beer in hand. I walked off in search of my best friend.
I found Maria grinding in the middle of two not so bad looking men. She had her head rested back against the chest of one man while the other danced in front of her.
When she opened her eyes and saw me standing there, she looked concerned. “Are you okay? What happened?”
“Nothing besides me throwing up a little in my mouth from Kimberly and Reed. It honestly is a very disturbing vision. She just makes my skin crawl.”
Maria grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. “She is a nasty bitch. Dance with me. These two men here are very cuddly.” I couldn’t help but laugh. They looked harmless enough, so I sat my beer down and joined them on the dance floor.
The night came to an end quickly. Maria had sobered up, and I had stopped drinking long ago. We both said our goodbyes to the two men who had kept us company for the last three hours. Mark and Burt were cousins and both complete gentlemen. It was nice to be able to dance with men who didn’t expect you to go home with them.
