by Yakov Merkin
As abruptly as the pain had come and gone, the High Lord’s presence departed, and Darkclaw fell to the floor of the ship with a thud. He lay there for a time as his control over his body returned, which also gave him time to think carefully about his future. He had a choice to make.
After a great deal of thought, Darkclaw came to a conclusion. There would be no turning back from this choice. Once made, he would have to commit fully, or die and doom his Felinaris friends to subjugation or death, and even if he committed, he would likely fail. But the path was clear now, clearer than it had been since the emotion flashes had begun.
Darkclaw had to find a way to do the impossible. He had to find a way to kill the High Lord.
* * *
A short time later, Darkclaw exited the shuttle, his gait slightly shaky, his tail impossible to keep still. Ever since he’d decided to betray the High Lord, it was as if his own body was rebelling against him, wanting him to not make the suicidal, if morally correct, choice. The next thing he’d have to do would be as hard as his conversation with the High Lord had been. He would have to tell the Felinaris everything. And they would not like what he had to say.
He circled around the shuttle the long way, finally coming within sight of Nayasar and Felivas, who approached. Darkclaw positioned himself to lean against the ship.
“Are you okay?” Nayasar asked, concern clear in her eyes.
“No, I am not,” Darkclaw replied, and held up a hand as Nayasar began to ask what was wrong, her own tail twitching in agitation. “You said you had questions for me, but there will be no need. I will tell you everything, though I doubt that you will like much of what I have to say.”
Nayasar glanced at Felivas, then turned back to Darkclaw. When she didn’t immediately speak, Darkclaw glanced around to make sure there was no one else with in earshot, then began. “I have not been entirely honest with you, from the day we met to this point. I will attempt to make amends now. But first, you must swear to me that what I tell you will not become known to anyone else. It is a matter of all of our lives that no one, particularly my own kind, learns of this.”
Nayasar and Felivas were silent for a moment, and briefly the only sound was that of a wind blowing through the surrounding foliage.
"I swear by the Omnipresent and my duty to Felinar that I will tell no one of this," Nayasar swore, her voice taking on a grave tone, clear that she was extremely unnerved and trying to hide it. A logical reaction, and a sufficiently strong oath.
Darkclaw glanced at Felivas, who repeated the same oath.
“I have told you previously that the High Lord ordered me to conquer the Galactic Alliance both so that my kind can secure a place in this galaxy, and because the Alliance’s actions made it undeserving of self-determination.” Darkclaw paused and blinked. There was no going back now. “That was not true. The High Lord’s aim is, and always has been, the complete domination of all races he deems lesser than my own, with no exceptions.” Darkclaw saw from Nayasar’s expression that she wanted to speak. “Please, hear me out before saying anything,” he implored.
“It was initially my idea to come to you with this offer, as I saw that your military might and knowledge, along with that of the Snevans, could be of use to us, and your history with the Alliance would lead you to help us. I… I knew full well that eventually I would betray you, once you had outlived your usefulness. I do not deny it.” Darkclaw turned his gaze to the ground; he could not look them in the eye.
“But then I visited your world, I saw your people, your culture, and something changed in me. When I told you that I was incapable of feeling emotion I was stating the truth, or what was the truth. But that changed the day we forged our Alliance. Since that time I have been struggling with emotions I had no desire for, and did not understand.
“At first, I could hardly identify them, but now I can, and I realized that I care about the both of you, about your people. That is why I ordered my own forces to protect yours at the cost of their own lives. That is why I sacrificed my own ships to save yours during the battle over this very world.” Darkclaw paused again as he contemplated how to continue.
“But the High Lord does not, and will never approve of your existence as free people, or of my own sympathies. I have come to realize that I will never be able to return to what I was, that I could never betray you. That is why I have decided to kill the High Lord, and end this pointless, destructive war that he began.” He took a step forward. The Felinaris took a step back. “Now I am standing before you, asking, no, begging for your help. Without support, I will fail and the High Lord will carry out his plans.”
Darkclaw finally looked up, and felt despair fill him. Felivas was averting his eyes, while Nayasar’s were narrowed and moist, her hands balled into fists.
Then, without warning, Nayasar let out a strangled cry and rushed at Darkclaw. He made no initial move; he was not about to harm her, and then he felt himself falling, then realized that he was lying on his back, parallel with the shuttle, Nayasar’s boot coming down toward his face.
Reacting instinctively, Darkclaw grabbed her ankle with both hands and flung her to the side, where she landed in a roll and rose to her feet as he did, then charged again. Darkclaw twisted to the side and grabbed Nayasar’s left arm and spun to pin her against the shuttle’s hull, trapping her right arm between her body and the ship, while he secured her left arm behind her.
She grunted as she struggled briefly, but Darkclaw was too strong. “I trusted you!” she yelled. “I looked up to you! I considered you a friend! And this is how you repay me! With lies and betrayal! And to completely push the blade all the way in, you wish to end the war! Eight of the twelve masterminds of the Selban Massacre still live freely deep in Alliance space!”
“I swear that when we negotiate a peace settlement I will see justice is done,” Darkclaw said. She had to see sense! He was saving them from destruction, at great cost to himself! “But this destructive war has to end, and the High Lord must be killed!”
Nayasar took advantage of his distraction, and broke free. She stood a few meters from Darkclaw, one of her long knives in her hand, her eyes wet. “Your promises mean nothing, Tyrannodon!” she spat. “Be glad I don’t kill you where you stand!” Nayasar abruptly sheathed the weapon and stalked off.
Darkclaw turned to Felivas, who had not moved. “Please, you must see reason! I need you if I am to have any hope at stopping the High Lord. You don’t know how powerful he is, what he is capable of!”
“No, I don’t,” Felivas replied coldly. “I don’t know much of anything, it seems. But it also seems that we are stuck with you, if you are telling the truth. Nayasar will see that too, once she calms down.
“Have you read how we successfully eliminated crime one our worlds?” Felivas asked, his eyes cold. “Through trust. Felinaris respect and trust each other. That is how we are. We don’t take kindly to those who we trust, and who then abuse it.”
“What would you have me say?” Darkclaw asked. He knew that trust was integral to Felinaris society, but the situation should override that! “I was different then. What changed me was your kind. Nayasar and you were the only ones I would consider friends, and I need your help now, for all of our sakes.” Felivas had to understand. There was so much at stake.
“I understand that, Darkclaw. That is why I am still here. I did consider you a friend, but no longer. I can work with you to save my people, and others, but that will be all. One right does not counteract all the wrongs, the good cannot simply wash out the bad. You will have to earn back the trust that you have lost. If you continue in this way, there is a possibility that I will call you friend again.”
“Thank you,” Darkclaw said as he wrung his hands together. He was a complete wreck. “The first thing we must do is figure out a way for me to hide my thoughts from the High Lord. When we speak, he sees into my mind. If I cannot conceal what I have decided and done, he will know of my betrayal and we will all die.”
Felivas looked taken aback. “I… did not realize we were in such an immediately perilous position.”
Of course not, Darkclaw berated himself. He should have lead by describing the High Lord’s capabilities. “It gets worse. As far as I can tell, there is no way to kill the High Lord. Once we can hide my thoughts from him, we will have to turn to finding a way to kill him.”
Felivas nodded slowly. “I might know of a way to conceal your thoughts, though I’ll have to look further into it first. We can reconvene on the Felinar.”
“Thank you, Admiral—Felivas,” Darkclaw said. “I hope that I can earn your trust and be considered a friend once more. I cannot describe to you how much has changed. I was truly a different person when we first met. I was created to not question orders. Now, I have rejected them.”
Felivas nodded. “I see that. And despite everything, Nayasar and myself both appreciate and understand the sacrifice you have made. We may not trust you as a friend, not now, but we will help, if only to do our duty to Felinar.”
Thank the Omnipresent, Darkclaw said to himself before realizing what he had said. He had not thrown everything away for nothing. “Oh, Admiral,” he said as Felivas began to walk away. “All forces are to abandon the planet once we have taken what we need.”
Felivas half turned, and arched an eye.
“The High Lord, he has ordered that everything on the planet’s surface be destroyed.”
Felivas turned around completely. “What? What about all of the infrastructure, the civilians?”
“The High Lord wants this world to be an example to the rest of the Alliance, what happens when they resist. And I suspect he wanted to force me to do something to shock myself back to his service.”
“But there are millions of people on this world! We can’t do this. How can you obey this order?”
Darkclaw looked at the sky. “I have no choice but to obey. If I refuse, the High Lord will see it as a betrayal and kill me. Then there will be no hope for this galaxy. Your forces need not participate. When this is over, all of what I have done will be on my head. I only pray that peace will be possible.” Darkclaw lowered his gaze and looked Felivas in the eye. It felt like such a weight had come off of his chest. “This is why the war has to end. Please make Nayasar understand.”
Felivas hesitated, then nodded. “I think you might have been better off starting with that,” he said, then departed, leaving Darkclaw alone with the shuttle and the trees.
He had made the right choice, Darkclaw knew. He was frightened out of his mind; the likelihood of failure so high, but at least now he had a purpose, and whatever happened, he was at peace with himself, for the first time since the emotion flashes had begun.
CHAPTER 16
Darkclaw may have made peace with himself, but peace of mind still eluded him. It had been over three hours since he had essentially poured out his soul to the Felinaris, but all he felt was a feeling of isolation, and terror about what could very easily be the outcome of his decision. The last of the ground forces were due to return to the fleet in the next few minutes, and there had been no contact from the Felinaris since the talk on the planet’s surface. Time is running out, Darkclaw noted as he paced back and forth across his living quarters.
For not the first time since he had made his choice that short time ago, Darkclaw questioned whether he had made the right decision.
What if the Felinaris failed to find a way for him to hide his treachery? Or what if they simply chose to abandon him? If either was the case, he was doomed. There would be no escaping the High Lord when he inevitably found out, and the High Lord would immediately replace Darkclaw, pressing on to his inevitable victory.
And if the specter of the High Lord discovering his actions in the near future was not bad enough, Darkclaw was no longer safe among his own kind. They obeyed his commands, but their ultimate loyalty was to the High Lord, and they were bound to report any treachery. And so the Hudecar, in this short time, had gone from being a sanctuary to a prison.
As if responding to his need, Darkclaw’s personal comm unit began to beep, and he stopped his pacing and practically dashed to accept the call.
Felivas appeared on the screen, and Darkclaw forced himself to sit down opposite the display.
“I apologize for not getting back to you sooner, Executor,” Felivas said, his voice formal and cold. “With the grand admiral… otherwise occupied, it fell to me to oversee the withdrawal of our troops and the spoils of war.” Felivas’s tone was most definitely accusatory, though whether it was about Nayasar’s condition or the knowledge that the fleet would soon annihilate the planet, Darkclaw could not tell.
“Do you have anything yet?” Darkclaw asked, not even bothering to hide his concern and eagerness. With his decision to betray the High Lord, Darkclaw’s ability to suppress his emotions seemed to have vanished as well. Or maybe he was simply so overwhelmed with fear and doubt that it simply felt as though he had no control over the feelings. It was fitting, though. With the decision to kill the High Lord—or least attempt to do so—Darkclaw had essentially accepted the emotions by choosing the Felinaris.
“As a matter of fact, I was able to find something that might work. It’s far from a perfect solution, but I think we both knew there wouldn’t be one. It’ll have to suffice. I could send you the information now, but I felt I should confer with you first. I won’t send it if you don’t think the channel is secure.”
“It would be best if I met with you in person,” Darkclaw replied. Of course his personal channel was secure. But he could not take any risks, not with the stakes so high and the odds so against him.
Felivas nodded. “Meet me on the Swift Strike in half an hour.”
“Understood,” Darkclaw replied. At least he would not have to face Nayasar just yet.
Felivas nodded again, then terminated the transmission.
Darkclaw stared at the blank screen. Half an hour was a long time. If Felivas’s solution didn’t work… Darkclaw wrung his hands together, and then noticed something. His fingers, which had been the same deep blue as the rest of his scales, had become as black as his claws, from the base of the claws to the first knuckle on each finger.
Did it mean something? Darkclaw had no idea why it seemed to have spread or what it could possibly mean. He shook his head. There were much more important things to be worrying about.
* * *
Just under half an hour later, Darkclaw debarked from his shuttle onto the hangar deck of the Swift Strike. The Swift Strike was an older, and smaller, ship than the Felinar, the only other Felinaris ship Darkclaw had set foot on, and it showed. The hangar was far smaller, what space it had was used highly efficiently; fighters folded and suspended on launch racks, and the hangar control room opposite the door looked to have devoted a significant amount of space to storage.
There was no grand welcome this time, only a single lieutenant and a pair of helmeted soldiers. “If you’ll allow me to escort you to the admiral,” she said.
Darkclaw nodded and followed. He had brought no guards with him this time, both because he could not completely rely on them, and as a gesture to Felivas that his fate was as much in their hands as theirs was in his.
His escorts led him to a lift, which took them to the ship’s second deck. Not the command deck, Darkclaw noted. The hallways on the Swift Strike were also noticeably smaller than those on the Felinar, and much plainer. And while the ship looked to be in excellent condition, its age showed in the various slight imperfections in the paint on the walls, repairs that had never been completely blended in to the rest of the ship, and of course there were objects stored in some of the hallways.
“It’s an honor to finally meet you, Executor,” the lieutenant said tentatively, but she was clearly addressing him as a celebrity rather than a pariah. Felivas, at least, had been true to his word.
“I always appreciate the opportunity to meet more of your kind,” Darkclaw replied honestly. “Our races can learn quite a bit
from each other.”
The lieutenant slowed slightly to walk alongside Darkclaw. “It’s true,” she said. “I have had the opportunity to spend a fair amount of time on the ground with your own forces. We’ve had some very interesting discussions, I must say.” She smiled. “I don’t know if the admiral or grand admiral have said as much to you, Executor, but you’re about as popular among the rank and file as they are. Both because of what you’ve given us as a people, but also just because of how effective a war you run, while still fighting on the ground on occasion.” She leaned closer and lowered her voice slightly. “One of your soldiers leaked footage of you fighting two Scions on your own during the battle of Darvia. Let’s just say that everyone in the fleet plus about half the population of Felinar has seen it already, and you’re practically a celebrity now. There’s a growing list of over ten thousand ‘Darkclaw facts,’ absurd feats that you are apparently capable of.”
Darkclaw wasn’t quite sure how to respond. They all venerated him without knowing the truth. But then he had never directly lied to the Felinaris as a whole. So was it legitimate? He was tempted, for the briefest moment, to tell this lieutenant what he had told Nayasar and Felivas. Of course, he didn’t; both because of the security implications and because he could not bear to shatter the beliefs of another who looked up to him. “They are not angry about the losses suffered in this war?” Darkclaw asked after a short silence. “Thousands were lost in the battle over Darvia, largely due to tactical errors and insufficient intelligence. It was a scale’s thinness away from being a complete disaster.”
“War is hell,” the lieutenant replied simply, with a shrug. “People die, that’s how it is. Far more would have died had we attempted this on our own, and it’s known that in the recent battles your forces have saved many more of our lives, and for that, we’re grateful. Besides, it’s not as if death is the end. Death is only the passing to a higher plane, closer to the Omnipresent. Sure it’s painful to their friends and family, and everyone desires to live a full, long life, but the Omnipresent does as He wills.”
