I realized I was holding my breath, and let it out. I had several emotions strung tight inside me, disappointment and fear at the top of the list. I’d thought I’d seen my dad alive. But it had turned out to be a cruel trick of my imagination. My dad was gone. He was never coming back, and I needed to figure out a way to accept it. I crouched down with my back to the wall and felt my whole body shake with tears.
CHAPTER
5
SCOTT STOOD IN THE ENTRANCE, ARMS FOLDED. “SO this is what the inside of a women’s restroom looks like. Got to say, it’s a lot cleaner.”
I kept my head bowed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “Do you mind?”
“I’m not leaving until you tell me why you followed me. I know I’m a fascinating guy, but this is starting to feel like an unhealthy obsession.”
I pushed myself to my feet and splashed cold water on my face. Avoiding Scott’s reflection in the mirror, I grabbed a paper towel and dried off.
“You’re also going to tell me who you were looking for in the men’s room,” said Scott.
“I thought I saw my dad,” I shot back, summoning up all the anger I could to mask the stabbing pain deep inside. “There. Satisfied?” I wadded up the towel and flung it in the trash. I was heading for the exit when Scott let the door drop closed and leaned against it, blocking me.
“Once they find the guy who did it and send him away for life, you’ll feel better.”
“Thanks for the worst advice I’ve received yet,” I said bitterly, thinking that what would make me feel better was having my dad back.
“Trust me. My dad’s a cop. He lives for telling surviving family members that he found the killer. They’re going to find the guy who destroyed your family and make him pay. A life for a life. That’s when you get your peace. Let’s get out of here. I feel like a creep standing in the girls’ room.” He waited. “That was supposed to make you laugh.”
“Not in the mood.”
He laced his fingers together on top of his head and shrugged, looking uncomfortable, like he hated awkward moments, let alone knew how to resolve them. “Listen, I’m playing pool at this dive in Springvale tonight. You wanna?”
“Pass.” I wasn’t in the mood to play pool. All it would accomplish was to fill my head with unwanted memories of Patch. I remembered that very first night when I chased him down to finish a bio assignment and found him playing pool in the basement of Bo’s. I remembered when he taught me to play pool. I remembered the way he stood behind me, so close I felt electricity.
Even more, I remembered the way he had always shown up when I needed him. But I needed him now. Where was he? Was he thinking of me?
I stood on the front porch rifling through my handbag for keys. My rain-soaked shoes squeaked against the boards, and my wet jeans rubbed a rash on the inside of my thighs. After tailing Scott, Vee had dragged me into several boutiques to get my opinion on scarves, and while I was giving her my thoughts on a violet silk versus a folksy hand-painted one in neutrals, a storm had blown in from the sea. By the time we’d sprinted to the parking lot and flung ourselves inside the Neon, we’d gone from dry to drenched. We’d blasted the heat the whole drive home, but my teeth were chattering, my clothes felt like ice painted on my skin, and I was still shaken from believing I’d seen my dad.
I shoved my shoulder against the humidity-swelled door, then patted the inside wall until my fingers fumbled the light switch. In the upstairs bathroom, I peeled out of my clothes and hung them over the shower rod to dry. On the other side of the window, lightning pitchforked down through the sky and thunder clamored like it was stomping on the roof.
I’d been alone in the farmhouse through numerous storms before, but all the experience hadn’t made me any more accustomed to them. This afternoon’s storm was no exception. Vee was supposed to be here now, sleeping over, but she’d decided to meet up with Rixon for a few hours since she’d canceled on him earlier. I wished I could travel back in time and tell her I’d tail Scott by myself, if she’d make sure to keep me company at the farmhouse this evening.
The bathroom lights flickered twice. That was all the warning I got before they drained, leaving me standing in shadowy darkness. Rain threw itself against the window, streaming down it in rivers. I stood in place a moment, waiting to see if the electricity would be restored. The rain turned to hail, striking the windowpanes hard enough that I feared the glass would crack.
I called Vee. “My electricity just went out.”
“Yeah, the streetlights just died on me. Slackers.”
“Want to drive back and keep me company?”
“Let’s see. Not especially.”
“You promised you’d sleep over.”
“I also promised Rixon I’d meet him at Taco Bell. I’m not going to cancel on him twice in one day. Give me a few hours, then I’m all yours. I’ll call you when I’m done. I’ll definitely be there before midnight.”
I hung up and squeezed my memory, trying to remember where I’d last seen the matches. It wasn’t dark enough that I needed candles to see, but I liked the idea of lighting up the place as much as possible, especially since I was alone. Light had a way of keeping the monsters of my imagination at bay.
There were candlesticks on the dining room table, I recalled, wrapping myself in a towel and taking the stairs down to the main level. And pillar candles in the cabinets. But where were the matches?
A shadow moved in the fields behind the house, and I snapped my head toward the kitchen windows. The sheeting rain spilled down the panes, distorting the world outside, and I stepped closer for a better look. Whatever I’d seen was gone.
A coyote, I told myself, feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline. Just a coyote.
The kitchen phone shrilled, and I grabbed for it, half because I was startled and half because I wanted to hear a human voice. I prayed it was Vee calling to say she’d changed her mind.
“Hello?”
I waited.
“Hello?”
Static crackled in my ear.
“Vee? Mom?” At the edge of my vision, I saw another shadow slink through the fields. Sucking in a steadying breath, I reminded myself there was no possible way that I was in any true danger. Patch might not be my boyfriend, but he was still my guardian angel. If there was trouble, he’d be here. But even as I thought it, I wondered if I could count on Patch for anything anymore.
He must hate me, I thought. He must want nothing to do with me. He must still be furious, and that’s why he’d made no effort to contact me.
The trouble with that train of thought was that it only made me angry again. Here I was, worrying about him, but chances were, wherever he was, he wasn’t worrying about me. He’d said he wasn’t going to just swallow my decision to break up, but that’s exactly what he’d done. He hadn’t texted or called. He hadn’t anything. And it wasn’t like he didn’t have a reason. He could knock on my door right this very minute and tell me what he’d been doing at Marcie’s two nights ago. He could tell me why he’d driven off when I told him I loved him.
Yes, I was angry. Only this time, I was going to do something about it.
I slammed the home phone down and scrolled through my cell phone, looking for Scott’s number. I was going to throw caution to the wind and take him up on his offer. Even though I knew it was for all the wrong reasons, I wanted to go out with Scott. I wanted to give Patch the finger. If he thought I was going to sit home and cry over him, he was wrong. We’d broken up; I was free to go out with other guys. And while I was at it, I was going to test Patch’s ability to keep me safe. Maybe Scott really was Nephilim. Maybe he was even trouble. Maybe he was exactly the kind of guy I should stay away from. I felt a hard smile cross my face as I realized it didn’t matter what I did, or what Scott might do; Patch had to protect me.
“Have you left for Springvale yet?” I asked Scott, after keying in his number.
“Hanging with me isn’t so bad after all?”
“If you
’re going to rub it in, I’m not going.”
I heard him smile. “Easy, Grey, I’m just playing with you.”
I’d promised my mom I’d keep my distance from Scott, but I wasn’t worried. If Scott messed with me, Patch would have to step in.
“Well?” I said. “Are you going to pick me up or what?”
“I’ll swing by after seven.”
Springvale is a small fishing town, and most of it is crammed onto Main Street: the post office, a few fish-and-chips diners, tackle shops, and the Z Pool Hall.
The Z stood one story high, with a plate-glass window offering a view inside to the pool hall and bar. Trash and weeds decorated the exterior. Two men with shaved heads and goatees were smoking on the sidewalk just outside the doors; they ground out their cigarettes and disappeared inside.
Scott parked in an angled slot near the doors. “I’m going to run down a couple blocks and find an ATM,” he said, killing the engine.
I studied the storefront sign hanging above the window. THE Z POOL HALL. The name tickled my memory.
“Why does this place sound familiar?” I asked.
“Couple weeks back a guy bled out on one of the tables. Bar brawl. It was all over the news.”
Oh.
“I’ll come with you,” I offered quickly.
He swung out, and I followed suit. “Nah,” he called over the rain. “You’ll get soaked. Wait inside. I’ll be back in ten.” Without giving me another chance to tag along, he hunched his shoulders against the rain, shoved his hands in his pockets, and jogged down the sidewalk.
Slicking rain off my face, I tucked myself under the building’s overhang and summed up my options. I could go inside alone, or I could wait here for Scott. I hadn’t waited five seconds before my skin started to itch. While the sidewalk held little foot traffic, it wasn’t completely desolate. Those who were out in the weather wore flannel shirts and work boots. They looked bigger, tougher, meaner than the men who loitered around Main Street in Cold-water. A few gave me eyes as they passed.
I looked down the sidewalk in the direction Scott had taken off and saw him round the building and disappear down the side alley. My first thought was that he was going to have a hard time finding an ATM in the alley next to the Z. My second thought was that maybe he’d lied to me. Maybe he wasn’t going in search of an ATM after all. But then what was he doing in an alley, out in the rain? I wanted to follow him but didn’t know how I was going to stay out of sight. The last thing I needed was for him to catch me spying on him again. It certainly wouldn’t promote trust between us.
Thinking maybe I could figure out what he was doing by watching through one of the windows inside the Z, I tugged on the door handle.
The air inside was cool and coated with smoke and male perspiration. The ceiling was low, the walls concrete. A few posters of muscle cars, a Sports Illustrated calendar, and a Budweiser mirror offered the only decoration. No windows paneled the wall dividing me from Scott. I strolled down the center aisle, wading deeper into the shadowy hall, and kept my breathing shallow, trying to filter my intake of carcinogens. When I got to the back of the Z, I fixed my eyes on the exit leading into the rear alley. Not quite as convenient as a window, but it would have to do. If Scott caught me watching him, I could always feign innocence and claim I’d stepped out for fresh air. After making sure no one was watching, I opened the door and stuck my head out.
Hands grabbed the collar of my jean jacket, yanked me out, and backed me against the brick exterior.
“What are you doing here?” Patch demanded. Rain hissed down behind him, spilling off the metal awning.
“Playing pool,” I stammered, my heart still frozen from the surprise of being ripped off my feet.
“Playing pool,” he repeated, not sounding even close to buying it.
“I’m here with a friend. Scott Parnell.”
His expression hardened.
“Do you have a problem with that?” I shot back. “We broke up, remember? I can go out with other guys if I want.” I was angry—at the archangels, at fate, at consequences. I was angry for being here with Scott, not Patch. And I was angry at Patch for not pulling me into his arms and telling me he wanted to put everything that had happened to us in the past twenty-four hours behind him. Everything dividing us was washed away, and it was just me and him from now on.
Patch dropped his gaze to the ground and pinched the bridge of his nose. I could tell he was summoning patience from deep within. “Scott’s Nephilim. A first-generation purebred. Just like Chauncey was.”
I blinked. It was true, then. “Thanks for the info, but I already suspected.”
He made a disgusted gesture. “Quit with the bravery act. He’s Nephilim.”
“Every Nephil isn’t Chauncey Langeais,” I said testily. “Every Nephil isn’t evil. If you’d give Scott a chance, you’d see he’s actually quite—”
“Scott isn’t any old Nephil,” Patch said, cutting me off. “He belongs to a Nephilim blood society that has been growing in power. The society wants to free Nephilim from bondage to fallen angels during Cheshvan. They’re recruiting members like crazy to fight back against fallen angels, and a turf war is brewing between the two sides. If the society becomes powerful enough, fallen angels will back off … and start relying on humans as their vassals instead.”
I bit my lip and looked up at him uneasily. Without wanting to, I remembered last night’s dream. Cheshvan. Nephilim. Fallen angels. I couldn’t escape any of it.
“Why don’t fallen angels usually possess humans?” I asked. “Why do they choose Nephilim?”
“Human bodies aren’t as strong or resilient as Nephilim bodies,” Patch replied. “A two-week-long possession will kill them. Tens of thousands of humans would die every Cheshvan.
“And it’s a lot harder to possess a human,” he continued. “Fallen angels can’t force humans to swear fealty, they have to convince them to turn over their bodies. That takes time and persuasion. Human bodies also deteriorate faster. Not many fallen angels want to go to the trouble of possessing a human body if it could be dead in a week.”
A shiver of foreboding crept through me, but I said, “That’s a sad story, but it’s hard to blame Scott or any Nephilim, for that matter. I wouldn’t want a fallen angel taking control of my body two weeks out of every year either. This doesn’t sound like a Nephilim problem. It sounds like a fallen angel problem.”
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “The Z isn’t your kind of place. Go home.”
“I just got here.”
“Bo’s is mild compared to this place.”
“Thanks for the tip, but I’m not really in the mood to hang out at home all night feeling sorry for myself.”
Patch folded his arms and studied me. “You’re putting yourself in danger to get back at me?” he guessed. “In case you forgot, I’m not the one who called things off.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. This isn’t about you.”
Patch dug in his pocket for his keys. “I’m taking you home.” His tone told me I was a huge inconvenience, and that if he saw any way around it, he’d gladly opt out.
“I don’t want a ride. I don’t need your help.”
He laughed, but the sound lacked humor. “You’re getting in the Jeep, even if I have to drag you inside, because you’re not staying here. It’s too dangerous.”
“You can’t order me around.”
He merely looked at me. “And while you’re at it, you’re going to stop hanging out with Scott.”
I felt my anger bubbling up. How dare he assume I was weak and helpless. How dare he try to control me by telling me where I could and couldn’t go, and who I could spend time with. How dare he act like I’d meant nothing to him.
I sent him a look of cool defiance. “Don’t do me any more favors. I never asked. And I don’t want you as my guardian angel anymore.”
Patch stood over me, and a drop of rain slid from his hair, landing like ice on my collarbone. I felt it sl
ide along my skin, disappearing beneath the neckline of my shirt. His eyes followed the raindrop, and I began to quiver on the inside. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for everything I’d said. I wanted to tell him I didn’t care about Marcie, or what the archangels thought. I cared about us. But the cold hard truth was, nothing I said or did could realign the stars. I couldn’t care about us. Not if I wanted to keep Patch close. Not if I didn’t want him banished to hell. The more we fought, the easier it was to get swallowed up in hatred and convince myself that he meant nothing to me, and that I could move on without him.
“Take it back,” Patch said, his voice low.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, and I couldn’t bring myself to take it back. I tipped my chin up and pinned my eyes on the blur of rain over his shoulder. Damn my pride, and damn his, too.
“Take it back, Nora,” Patch repeated more firmly.
“I can’t do the right thing with you in my life,” I said, hating myself for allowing my chin to tremble. “This will be easier on everyone if we just—I want a clean break. I’ve thought this through.” I hadn’t. I hadn’t thought this through at all. I hadn’t meant to say these words. But a small, horrible, and despicable part of me wanted Patch to hurt as much as I was hurt. “I want you out of my life. All the way.”
After a heavy beat of silence, Patch reached around me and shoved something deep into the back pocket of my jeans. I couldn’t tell whether I’d imagined that his hand had stayed there a half beat longer than necessary.
“Cash,” he explained. “You’re going to need it.”
I dug the money out. “I don’t want your money.” When he didn’t take the outstretched wad of cash, I slapped it against his chest, meaning to brush past him as I did, but Patch caught my hand, trapping it against his body.
“Take it.” The tone of his voice told me I knew nothing. I didn’t understand him, or his world. I was a stranger, and I’d never fit in. “Half the guys in there are carrying some form of weapon. If anything happens, throw the money on the table and head for the doors. Nobody’s going to follow you with a pile of cash up for grabs.”
Crescendo, Hush 2 Page 8
