It’s quiet for a few seconds, and I can feel Jason squirm. I try to think of a new topic that won’t seem too abrupt.
“I liked what you said this morning about finding answers, Dad,” I say. That seems smooth enough.
“What’s that?” Dad looks at me. I catch Jason’s grateful smile.
“That part about how God’s given us the answers we need, we just have to learn where to look and how to see them,” I say. “That was pretty deep.”
“Yes, well, I’ve been studying this book on seeking God, and it just came to me as I was meditating,” he says. “People always want answers, and I think God uses a variety of things in our lives and situations to give us the answers we seek.”
Mom’s gazing at him across the table the way she did in church. Like he’s just said the most amazing thing. I see Jason pause, and I know he caught her expression, too.
“It was exactly what I needed to hear this morning,” she says.
They smile at each other, and now I feel squirmy. They sure can block out the world at a moment’s notice.
“So,” Jason jumps in. “Did you guys meet at church?”
My dad glances at him as if he suddenly remembers two other people are also at lunch. Then he stabs at his plate. “We met at State.”
“What, you two had classes together or something?”
“No, Harley’s mom introduced herself to me one day.” He smiles, glancing at her again.
I know this story. “Mom was a stalker,” I say with a giggle.
“I was not,” Mom argues, smiling. “I just noticed your dad walking around every day with his nose in a book, and I wanted to know what in the world was so engrossing.”
“That’s about how it went,” Dad says. “I was reading and the next thing I knew there she was in front of me asking about it.”
“That must’ve been sweet,” Jason says. Then he glances at my mom. “I mean, you know, like a nice surprise or something.”
“I was very curious,” Mom says. “And Stuart was very interesting to me. He was the first boy I’d met who actually thought about important things and wanted to talk about them.”
“Important things?”
“Oh, our purpose. What life is really all about. Spiritual stuff.”
“Well, I’d see my friends with their keg parties, and don’t get me wrong, occasionally I’d be there with them blowing off steam…” Dad’s eyes flicker to mine as if he’s embarrassed I might learn some shocking truth about him I don’t already know. “But at the end of the night, I just felt like there had to be more to it all.”
“What were you reading, Stu?” Mom frowns. “Rousseau’s Confessions?”
“Probably. Or something else I was too inexperienced to understand.” He smiles at her.
I can tell they’re about to launch into one of their “romantic” philosophical discussions, and if we don’t dash, we’ll be stuck. I check Jason’s plate, and see he’s as close to finished as I am.
“Hey, Mom? Dad? Would it be okay if Jason and I go for a walk? I can help clean up later.”
Mom looks at my plate and then smiles at me. “Don’t worry about cleaning up. Your dad’ll help me.”
I grab Jason’s arm and we head toward the door.
“Thanks, Mrs. Andrews, Dr. Andrews,” he says as I pull it open and jog outside.
The door closes behind me, and I let out a whistle. “That was close.”
“What?”
“They were about to take Navel-Gazing Lane all the way to the Meaning of Life Superhighway.”
“I think it’s nice. Your parents really like each other.”
“I know, but jeez. Try living with them.”
We’re walking down the sidewalk, and I watch him slide off his tie and unbutton his top button. He stuffs the tie in his back pocket, and it hits me. I haven’t seen the Gremlin anywhere. Not even at church.
“So where’s the monster mobile?”
“I left it at home. We’re not that far from here.”
I think about it a second and realize I have no idea where Jason lives. “Where is your house?”
“Down at the other end.” He waves his hand. A cool breeze swirls around us, and although it’s a sunny day, I cross my arms at my waist.
He frowns, watching me. “Are you cold? Want to borrow my coat?”
“Which end?” I press, ignoring his attempt to change the subject.
My house is almost in the center of the neighborhood, with the church a few blocks away as the actual center. At the front are the older homes that were built here first, and in the back the developers have recently expanded into what they’re calling Shadow Creek. In that part they’re building huge mini-mansions that have lawns backing up to the school’s namesake.
“Oh, you know,” he says. “That end. It’s no big deal.”
“Wait.” I stop walking and catch his arm. “You’re saying you live in Shadow Creek?”
He seems a little embarrassed. “Yeah.”
“Jeez, Jas! You could’ve told me your dad was a zillionaire.”
“He’s not a zillionaire.” He lifts the arm I’m holding and scrubs the back of his head, looking away from me. “He just, you know. Manages well.”
“I’ll say. Give me my ten bucks back.”
“Okay.” He laughs softly. “I told you I didn’t want it.”
I started walking again, one arm still crossed over my waist. Jason follows me and the soft breeze gently moves my hair across my cheek.
“And here I was feeling bad for Mr. I Drive a Hooptie Clown-Car and not wanting to take your money.” I push my hair behind my ear.
“Does that change things?” He catches my arm and stops us.
“Yeah, it changes things,” I laugh. “It means you’re going to have to start buying your fake girlfriend better gifts.”
He smiles and we start walking again. “I haven’t bought you any gifts.”
“Exactly!”
“So we’re still fake dating?”
“You bet. At least for a few more days. I mean, there’s no rush now that I know gifts are on the line.”
“And what sort of gifts did you have in mind?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe something sparkly…”
“Sparkly, huh?” The breeze is ruffling his hair. He’s smiling at me, and it’s all very interesting.
I wrinkle my nose at him. “You know I’m kidding, right? No gifts. But you could’ve told me your big secret.”
“It never came up.”
We’re at the end of the street, and I look back toward my house.
“You should probably keep going,” I say. “I’ll turn around and head back.”
“Harley,” Jason starts. His voice is gentle, and it’s the first time he’d used my actual name in days. My stomach tightens.
“Yeah?” I brace myself. I’m afraid he might suggest we start dating for real, and I’m not ready to have that conversation with him.
I like our growing friendship, but Trent is my Mr. Right. Still, I’ve seen enough movies to know how this goes. If Jason wants to get more serious and I don’t, that’ll be the end of any kind of friendship between us. Or at the very least, it’ll make things super-awkward—not at all like they are now.
“Please don’t tell anybody where I live,” he says.
“What?” I start to breathe again and almost laugh. “I mean, why not?”
“It’s just, people act different if they think you’ve got a lot of money,” he says. “And, well, I’d like them to get to know me for me first.”
It seems like there’s more to this story, something he isn’t telling me, but I let it go for now. “Sure. I mean, of course I won’t tell anybody if that’s what you want.”
“Thanks,” he smiles, seeming relieved. “So you’ll let me know tomorrow, right?”
“Tomorrow?”
“How much longer we’re still together.”
“Oh, right.”
He starts to walk a
way, and I turn back toward my house. I don’t even correct him about us just being fake together.
Seven
Not correcting Jason’s fake dating error is the first sign my brain is betraying me. The second is I’ve completely stopped thinking about what my real Mr. Right likes when deciding what to wear to school. The next day I don’t even consider the pictures in Trent’s locker as I stand staring into my closet. All I’m thinking about are the outfits Jason’s said looked pretty on me.
None of this is part of the plan! I’ve gotten completely off course. And in another five minutes he’ll be here to pick me up for school! I change outfits three more times and wish I’d thought to get up early so Mom could braid my hair in that headband style he’d said he liked. I hear his voice in the kitchen and grab my book bag before running down the hall. But when I reach the kitchen, I see Jason standing by the table talking to Ricky.
Ricky. The sight of him makes me pause mid-step. Mr. Home-wrecker, Abercrombie-model is standing there smiling and chatting like everything’s great and he hasn’t done anything inappropriate.
“Hey, kiddo,” Ricky says, but his voice sounds a little off today. “You look nice.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
“Yeah, you do,” Jason brightens, and I can’t help feeling a little bit better. “Ready?” he says.
I nod and follow him to the door. Just then my mom appears in the entrance to her office.
“Harley? You didn’t say goodbye,” she says. Is she anxious, too?
“Sorry. Bye, Mom.”
She can tell something’s wrong, but she doesn’t say anything. Jason does, though, once we get to the monster mobile.
“So that’s the guy?” he asks, holding my door.
“Yep, that’s Ricky.”
“I get where you’re coming from, but I gotta say. Your mom doesn’t seem that into him.” He closes the door and jogs around to get in on his side.
You didn’t see what I saw Saturday night.
“It’s more him that’s into her,” I explain once we’re moving. “Mom just says he’s a nice boy.”
“He does seem really nice, but I wouldn’t let that bother me.”
“Oh no?” I glance at him. He’s dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans again, and the wind’s pushing his hair around. It’s distractingly cute, and I look down at my hands, trying to refocus my brain back on Trent.
“Nope. I’ve seen your parents together,” Jason continues. “Your mom looks at your dad like—”
“Like he’s a chocolate-dipped strawberry?”
“Yeah,” Jason smiles. “It’s weird. But in a super-nice way, I mean. Since they’re your parents and all.”
“No, it’s weird. They’re the ultimate mismatch.”
“Just on the outside. On the inside they really get each other. It’s cool.” Jason looks off for a second. “And I mean, sure your mom’s hot, but it’s not like your dad’s a hamster or anything. You look a lot like him.”
“Wow. Is that a compliment?”
“No, I mean… I think you look…” He’s suddenly embarrassed. “C’mon, Harley, you know how you look.”
In my mind, I’m still all braces and legs to my armpits, but I can tell from Jason’s expression that’s not what he sees. His eyes say I look very different, and the Gremlin suddenly feels both smaller and stuffier.
“Isn’t there an A/C in this G-ride?” I complain loudly.
“Well, I hate to break it to you—”
“Jason! I might have to cut our fake dating period short if you can’t at least drive a car with air-conditioning. I know your secret now, and this is just mean.”
“Mean?” he laughs.
“Yes. You’re going to dump me in a few days, and then next thing I know you’ll be driving Shelly around in a Beemer.”
“But she’ll be my real girlfriend.”
“So! This is too much.”
We’re at school, and I’m actually thankful to be getting out of the car and away from my fake boyfriend. For a second there it got a little too close to being true. I look up and see Trent in the parking lot, and I hurry to catch up with him.
“Hey, Trent,” I say, breathless.
“Harley, hey!” He smiles and it all comes rushing back. Perfect teeth, kissing those lips. “Where’s Jason?”
“Oh, he’s coming.” I wave my hand behind me. “We had a little argument, so I don’t know.”
“Argument?” he glances over my shoulder. I look back as well and see Jason leaning against the Gremlin. I decide he’s seen me with Trent and is giving us a little space this time. Finally.
“It was something silly, but I don’t know,” I sigh. “Maybe we’re moving too fast.”
It’s a stroke of genius, and it only took one dose of lavender to get me back on track. Trent doesn’t say anything, and we keep walking toward the classroom building. As always he’s dressed like a model in khaki pants and a polo shirt. It’s a definite plus the way he takes such obvious care with his appearance.
We’re at the first building, and Trent’s class is inside. He stops and we’re facing each other. What to say? I try to think…
“You know, sometimes things do get serious too fast,” he says.
“You think?” I smile, blinking up at him.
“Yeah.” He smiles and looks down. Then he glances up and reaches forward to touch my cheek. Everything stops.
“Look. An eyelash.” He holds it out to me. “Make a wish.”
I stare at the delicate brown hair on the tip of his finger as he waits for me to blow it away. But I can’t do it. My only wish has always been to kiss him, to be here like this with him, to have him touch my cheek. I don’t know why I’m hesitating.
We stand there a moment longer, but before I can recover, a soft breeze blows the lash away. He laughs once and shrugs. “Oh, well. Next time,” he says. “See ya, Harley.”
And with that, he turns and goes inside. My shoulders droop, and it takes all my effort not to collapse against the building. I can’t believe it. Shelly’s right. When confronted with a hot guy, the guy of my dreams, I completely flake out. I did exactly what I always do. I went all distracted and aloof. I look around, wondering what my mentor would say if she’d seen what I just did. Assertiveness Fail! Cycle Unbroken. As I walk to my first class, I touch my forehead, wondering if a giant, invisible F has been stamped there.
I don’t see Jason again until third period, and he doesn’t even look up when I walk into the room. I wonder if he’s mad at me on top of everything else. I made up the story I told Trent about us having an argument, but now that fake story feels real, too.
“Hey,” I say softly as I sit in my chair.
He glances up but doesn’t smile. “So?”
“So what?”
“Making progress?”
I shrug and Mrs. Gipson enters the room to begin class. Jason turns his attention to our teacher, and I frown. Something’s different, but I can’t figure out what. He doesn’t look at me once during class, and I don’t hear a word Mrs. Gipson says. Could he possibly be mad about the Beemer comment? I was just kidding about that. Jason and I are always kidding with each other. Maybe I’m just being paranoid again.
But at lunch he continues his sudden withdrawal, and after ten minutes of salad chomping, I decide to get to the bottom of it.
“Okay, spill.”
“Huh?” Jason looks up.
“What’s going on with you?”
“I don’t get you, H.D.” He tries to smile.
“You’re acting all distant and quiet and stuff. Did I do something to piss you off or something?”
“Language. Please.” He tries to act offended. As if.
“Jason. What happened?”
He stabs his lunch a few times and stares at the tray. Then he glances up at me with those big brown eyes. I’ve never seen this look on his face before—like he’s incredibly frustrated, but still hopeful. It causes a twinge in my middle, but I continue looki
ng at him anyway, waiting for his answer.
“I don’t know,” he finally says.
I exhale. “What?”
“I mean, well, we were talking about your parents and all, and I was thinking about this… what we’re doing, I mean.” He pauses for a second and he seems the slightest bit nervous. “When we’re together, it’s like… it’s really cool. And when we talk—”
Oh, God! How can I be so stupid? I’ve walked right into it.
“You know what?” I interrupt him and jump up. He looks startled. “I just remembered I was supposed to get with Shelly. We’ve got cheerleading practice this afternoon, and she’ll have to give me a ride home.”
“But I thought—” He’s completely bewildered.
“See you tomorrow morning?” I smile as I back away. Now I’m the one who’s nervous.
“Of course, but you haven’t finished your lunch.”
“It’s okay,” I wave. “I’ve had enough.”
“But Shelly’s not even—”
I turn away before he can finish his sentence and practically run. I only glance back once at Jason’s frowning face as I push through the cafeteria door. Ugh! I can feel it as I hurry to the library to hide. Then I run to the bathroom just in case he decides to follow me. I know exactly what he was about to say. We both know Shelly doesn’t have this lunch period, and I had to get out of there. Things are getting mixed up. Bad.
My heart’s pounding, and I need to get as far away from him as possible. But something’s wrong with me because the more I think about it, the more I want to go back and hear what he had to say. Hear the words that would ruin everything—a year’s worth of dreaming and a solid month of careful planning. I looked up at the ceiling. Why couldn’t I have lunch or at least one class with Trent? It would really help, you know?
After school I hang out in the bathroom a good fifteen minutes after the last bell—until I’m sure everyone’s gone. I can easily walk home, but I don’t want to risk running into Jason. There’s no cheerleading practice this afternoon. Once football season ends, the squad pretty much goes on sabbatical until summer break and tryouts for next year. Sure, the basketball team still plays, but only half of us cover those games, and we alternate our schedules. I’m not on the schedule this week.
The Truth About Faking Page 8
