by J. Daniels
He didn’t say it back.
I opened the door, stepped outside onto the porch, fought back tears, and didn’t let them fall until I got back to Tori’s, back into my old bed, and wrapped in the same sheets that held me while I was falling in love with a boy.
Chapter Twenty-one
BRIAN
The front door shut behind Syd.
I heard a car starting in the driveway, another door shutting, and then the sound of my girl leaving me.
Fucking leaving me.
It was all I could do not to follow her.
I looked at the floor and scrubbed my face with my hands, my muscles burning as they locked up while I fought against the urge to punch holes in every goddamn wall in this house.
Watching your reason for living falling apart after shit you did, ain’t nothing more devastating than that.
Except maybe hearing that reason tell you to stay away.
And that’s what she did.
I couldn’t go to Syd. Couldn’t call or text. Couldn’t hold her while she cried or wipe away the tears she was shedding because of what I’d done.
Hell. I was in it.
Thought I’d been here before but I was wrong. This was it.
And it was my fault. All of it. I put myself here. I deserved to feel this pain.
But Wild, she didn’t deserve any of it.
I’d kill a motherfucker for putting this type of hurt on my girl, yet I was the one dragging Syd through hell with me.
She got here, looking broken already, and I knew why—she didn’t need to say. Then I laid it out, all of that ugly, meant every word I said about regrets and the ones I don’t have, gave Syd the truth she was justified all along in getting, not knowing what was gonna come out of it, if she would understand, forgive and stay mine, or if she would do the right thing, give me what I deserved back and end it, leave, take herself away from me because after everything I did, no fucking way did I earn the right to be with her.
I didn’t deserve her good.
After hearing me out, my girl chose right. She chose what should’ve happened. I understood that. Even in hell, I understood it.
Didn’t mean it was what I wanted.
Never could want that. I wanted her with me. I would always want her with me.
I got her choice.
Didn’t mean I wouldn’t beg to keep her.
I would beg for the rest of my miserable fucking life, miserable without her in it.
I warranted her leaving me.
Didn’t mean I wouldn’t do everything to get her back.
I would. I’d fix this. Promised her and I would. I’d be the man she deserved. I’d protect Syd like I should’ve done months ago.
I would never hurt her again. I’d die first.
I knew what I had to do.
Grabbing my keys, I crated Sir so he wouldn’t roam and get into shit, stepped out of the house, locked up, and brought my phone to my ear as I was striding toward my Jeep.
“Yeah?” Jamie answered on the second ring.
“Meet me at the warehouse. Got shit I need to handle there and I might need backup.” I swung the driver’s side door open and climbed inside.
“Backup? For what?” he asked. “Thought you were done with that place.”
I gritted my teeth and started the engine.
“I fuckin’ am! Jesus, do I ask you for shit? Ever? Can you just fuckin’ meet me there without giving me the third degree?”
“All right, I was just askin’. Christ,” Jamie returned. “Give me twenty.”
“Give you ten. Leave now,” I shot back, shifting into Reverse. “Got a feeling I’m gonna need you to pull me off Mike before I fuckin’ kill him.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
Jamie knew about Mike. Knew enough to know I hated the bastard and wouldn’t mind laying him out if I had the chance.
I didn’t need to explain further.
“Right. Leavin’ now,” Jamie threw out.
I hung up, tossed my phone on the seat, backed out of the driveway, and rode to Xstasy.
There weren’t a ton of cars in the lot, but there were enough to know people were shooting, which meant Mike was there.
He didn’t trust anyone shooting and using his equipment without keeping an eye on things.
I parked by the door, cut the engine, and got out. I scanned the lot for Jamie.
He wasn’t here yet.
Fuck.
Cracking my knuckles, I debated waiting until he showed before I handled this. Then I pictured Syd.
Standing on the porch looking like she didn’t belong in that house with me.
Crying and giving me her pain.
Telling me she was leaving, and if I followed, it would be over…
I stalked to the door, threw it open, and went inside.
There was music playing off to the left. Heavy bass vibrated off the walls. I glanced at the gathering of people standing over by the scene they were shooting, scanned for Mike, and when I didn’t see him, slid my eyes to the office door at the other end of the room and made for that.
I didn’t knock.
Fuck courtesies.
Turning the knob, I went right in.
Mike looked up from his desk. He jerked straight in his chair, hit me with hate-filled eyes, and told the person he was listening to on the phone, “Gotta go. I’ll call you back,” then he disconnected the call, slammed the phone down on his desk, stood with hands bracing on the papers in front of him so he was leaning forward, heaved through his breaths, and bared his fucking teeth.
“You got balls stepping in here,” he growled, trying to sound threatening. “Get the fuck outta my building, you piece of shit.”
I stalked forward.
I wasn’t afraid of Mike, but he was damn sure afraid of me, which was good. I needed that fear. It was the only way I’d get cooperation from him.
I was six-two. He was barely taller than my girl.
I had muscle and could throw a punch and have that shit hurt. He had a gut that hung over his belt and got winded from standing.
I wasn’t here to negotiate. He was about to find that out.
Mike’s spineless body shot ramrod straight when I got opposite him with only the desk separating us, slammed my own hands down on top of the cluster of shit he had covering it, and leaned forward.
“Want you to take down all those videos you got of me,” I growled. “All of them. Want off that site and I want it happening today, right the fuck now, cocksucker.” I pointed at his chair, which had slid out when he stood. “So sit your fat ass down and get to fuckin’ work. I’m not leaving until it’s done.”
Mike stared at me like he wasn’t expecting those words to come out of my mouth.
Then he grabbed his stomach, threw his head back, and laughed like he’d just heard the funniest fucking thing ever.
“You fucking asshole.” He shook his head with a smile. “I own your shit, Dash! Own it all, motherfucker! I’m not taking down jack.” He leaned forward on jack and pointed at my face. “You’re outta luck, dickhead. I’m gonna make money off you until the day I fucking die.”
My pulse jumped.
Something coiled tight in my stomach.
“I didn’t sign anything saying what I shot belonged to you,” I grated out, reminding him of the contract we never had, feeling my hands curl into fists on top of the papers I was crushing. “I never signed a damn thing, meaning you own nothin’.”
“Not how it works,” he shot back, lowering his arm. “Whatever you did when you stepped inside this building belongs to me. We had a verbal agreement and I will hold you to that, motherfucker. Shot you fucking and jerking your load on my cameras, uploaded that shit to my site, and that’s where they’re fucking staying. And just so we’re clear”—he cocked his head—“you didn’t have me signing shit either, meaning you got nothing to force my hand.”
“I got plenty to force your hand,” I snarled, leaning closer and watching Mike m
ove back. “Take that shit down.”
“Not fucking happening,” he replied coldly, then slumped back into his chair and held his arms out like he was waiting for me to crucify him. “What are you gonna do, Dash? Kill me? Huh? Let me ask you this.” He gripped the arms of his chair and slid up to the desk. “Why now? Why come here now asking me to remove your shit? You up and bailed weeks ago. Didn’t say nothing in that bullshit text you sent me about taking anything down, now all of a sudden…” He paused, his eyes flashed, and I watched a smirk twist across his mouth. “Oh, fuck me.” He leaned back and started rocking. “Fuck me. You gotta bitch, don’t you? That’s what this is about. Tell me I’m right, Dash. You got some hot pussy at home who doesn’t like that you stuck your dick in a bunch of whores.”
My nostrils flared.
“Shut your fuckin’ mouth,” I hissed, itching to hit him.
“Did you confess to it?” he asked, grinning. “Or did she see it? I bet she liked that one where you fucked Jayden in every hole she has. Fuck it.” He waved his hand. “Get your bitch in here. Maybe she wants to make a little cash on the side too. I like uptight pussy.”
Fuck waiting for Jamie.
Growling like a caged animal, I reached across the desk and grabbed Mike by his shirt, yanked his fat ass out of his chair, and dragged him over to where I was standing, throwing his body down onto the hard concrete floor next to the desk.
“Fuck!” he groaned, arching his back.
I heard the computer monitor take a crash landing and bust to pieces as I straddled his waist, bent low, and started pounding my fist into the side of his face.
“You fuckin’ piece of shit motherfucker!” I snarled through my hits, bone cracking against bone and blood splattering. “You ever talk about my girl again and I will fuckin’ kill you! You hear me! I WILL FUCKIN’ KILL YOU!”
I hit his jaw, his cheek, I felt his nose break under my knuckle.
Mike whined and moaned and whimpered beneath me. His legs thrashed out and his arms tried to block or push me away, but I just kept coming.
And coming.
And coming.
I was going to kill him.
“Dash!”
I heard Jamie yell at my back, then he hooked my arm when it cocked for another hit, trapping it, wrapped his other arm around my chest, and pulled me off.
“Jesus Christ!” Jamie got me to my feet, then he shoved against my chest. “Fuck, you said ten minutes! You couldn’t wait for me?”
“You’re late,” I bit out, shaking my hand and trying to flex it.
Mike made a gurgling noise, then he turned his head and started spitting blood out of his mouth.
“Fuck this,” Jamie murmured. “We gotta go.”
He grabbed my bicep and pushed me in the direction of the door. We ran through the warehouse, gaining some attention but not giving any back.
Once we got outside, Jamie turned to me. He pushed his hand through his hair.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked. “If I’d been any later, you would’ve killed him.”
I shrugged. “Good thing you weren’t any later, then.”
His eyes widened.
“Are you fuckin’ nuts? What’s gotten into you? He’s gonna call the cops and your ass is gonna get arrested.”
I dug my keys out of my pocket with my left hand.
“He’s not gonna do shit,” I replied, spinning around and walking to my Jeep.
Jamie stayed with me. “Care to explain that?”
I turned my head when I reached the door.
“Mike isn’t exactly running a legit business here, Jamie. No fucking way would he get cops here when he hasn’t been paying taxes on any of that money he’s been pulling in. It’s all under the table. And with his fucking ego being the way it is, ain’t no way he’d point a finger and admit it was me who bested him.”
Mike hated me just as much as I hated him. He’d never admit to this. He couldn’t lose to me.
Jamie’s eyes widened again, this time in realization.
“Still, we better go,” he suggested, looking around the lot and then back at me. “What the fuck brought this on anyway?”
I clenched my jaw, answering through my teeth, “I fucked up.”
* * *
Icing my hand, I sat at the dining room table trying to come up with another plan for getting those videos taken down.
I sat there for hours.
Nothing.
Fucking nothing came to me.
There was nothing else I could do.
Besides getting on my knees and groveling to Mike, which, considering I beat the shit out of him, I was doubting he’d do me any favors. Not that I’d fucking grovel to that worthless motherfucker but I’d at least keep my hands off him when I made my second request.
I was officially out of options.
Mike ran the site. He controlled what went on there.
I was fucked.
My phone sat on the table in front of me. Taunting me. My girl was a call away and I couldn’t do shit about it.
I needed something. I needed to find some way to get those videos down. I needed…
A knock sounded on the front door.
Wild.
I jumped out of my chair, letting the bag of peas I was icing my hand with fall to the floor, ran to the door, told Sir to get back, and swung it open, ready to greet my girl with a fuckton of begging.
“Uncle Brian!” Olivia shrieked, bouncing up and down on the porch.
“Hey, Uncle Brian,” Oliver greeted me. He held up his DS. “Brought this so we can play after dinner.”
Dinner.
Family dinner.
“Fuck,” I muttered, pinching my eyes shut and then looking between the two of them.
Olivia gasped, covered her mouth, then giggled. Oliver smiled big.
“Brian, really?” my sister scolded, standing behind them carrying a large casserole dish. She looked down at the twins. “Nobody is allowed to repeat what Uncle Brian just said. Am I clear?”
Olivia mouthed the word over and over as she stayed facing away from Jenna, smiling as she did it.
Oliver grinned at his sister, slid his glasses higher on his nose, then turned facing forward, replying for the both of them, “We won’t.”
“Good.” Jenna lifted her eyes to me. “I know we’re a little early but the kids wanted to play with Sir.” She studied me intently. “You look awful. Are you feeling okay?”
“No,” I replied honestly.
My entire fucking world was gone.
“Hi, Sir!” Olivia bent down when Sir pushed through my legs and stuck his head out the door. “I brought you treats. They’re in my pocket,” she whispered.
“Sorry,” I apologized, rubbing at my face and looking to Jenna. “For cussing and because I meant to call. Dinner’s canceled.”
Her brow furrowed.
“What? Really?” she asked, sounding disappointed. “Because you’re not feeling well?”
“Aw, man.” Oliver made a fist and punched the front of his thigh. “This is the worst day of my life!”
“Oliver, please, you said that yesterday when you couldn’t find your Star Wars shirt,” Jenna said.
“That was a really bad day, Mom,” Oliver argued. “So is this. I wanted to hang out.”
“We’re not staying?” Olivia asked, blinking up at me but staying crouched down. “But Syd promised she’d braid my hair all twisty again.”
“Syd’s not here,” I told her.
My chest grew tight.
“She’s not?” Jenna asked. “Where is she? Did she get called into work?”
I breathed deep.
What the fuck was I supposed to say?
“She’s…” My voice trailed off when Jamie’s car pulled into the driveway and parked behind Jenna’s.
“Uncle Jamie!” Oliver spun around, leaned around his mother, and waved, holding up his DS with his other hand. “Brought my DS!”
“Cool!” Jami
e shouted, then shut his car door and jogged to the porch. He tipped his chin at Jenna. “Hey, Jenna.”
“Hey,” she returned pleasantly.
“What are you doing here?” I asked when he climbed the porch.
He gave me a peculiar look.
“Dinner,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“Are you shittin’ me?” I grated.
“Brian!” Jenna warned.
Oliver and Olivia both started giggling.
“Sorry,” I told her, then looked at Jamie again. “What makes you think we’re still having dinner after the shi…stuff that went down today?”
“That’s another reason why I’m here,” he replied. “We gotta figure this out. There’s gotta be somethin’ else you can do.”
I stared at Jamie. Something tightened in my chest.
He wanted to help. He was always wanting to help and I never took it. I never took it from anyone.
And look where that fucking got me.
The only person I ever let in was Syd. She was it. I didn’t fight her when she wanted to heal me. I didn’t tell her I had to do it myself.
I let her in. And it felt fucking good.
It was time I let the rest of them in. I had to. I couldn’t do this alone. I never could.
I needed help.
“Wait, what went down?” Jenna asked, looking between myself and Jamie, who was standing behind her.
“Dash screwed up. Syd’s gone,” he informed her, knowing the details because I gave them to him before we both hauled ass away from the warehouse and went our separate ways.
“Thanks, man. Appreciate it,” I said sarcastically, getting a shrug in return.
“What? Syd’s gone?” Jenna whipped her head around and glared at me. “What did you do?”
I stepped back and held the door open.
“Come inside. I’ll explain everything,” I told Jenna.
The kids barreled in first and went straight for the couch with Sir on their tails. Jenna stepped in next, keeping the glare and giving it to me before she carried her dish to the kitchen.
I reached out and stopped Jamie from following behind with a hand to his chest.
He turned his head and looked at me.
“What’s up?”
“Need your help with this,” I confessed, letting my hand drop since he wasn’t resisting.
