by Patricia Kay
He nodded slowly.
She tried to ignore the pain. He hadn’t denied what she’d said. It's not too late to change your mind. She wished he’d say something, anything.
“Nicole...”
Why were his eyes so beautiful? Why did she feel this way about him?
“You don’t have to do this, you know.”
She swallowed, perilously close to tears. “I know I don’t.” She couldn’t let him go without at least trying. She just couldn’t. She knew all the odds were against her. She knew Jack was not likely to change. She knew she would probably end up getting hurt very badly. Again. And it would be infinitely worse this time, because what she had felt for Mark didn’t come close to what she felt for Jack.
But she had to take a chance.
Because she loved him.
And she simply couldn’t bear having him leave her with nothing. Even if all she ended up with were memories, at least she would know what it was like to be loved by him.
She took a deep breath. The urge to cry disappeared. She felt strong and sure of herself. She had never been the type of person to run away from anything. She had always taken risks. She had always fought for what she wanted.
She would fight for Jack.
With all the weapons she had.
She smiled. “I want to do this.”
He studied her for a moment, then nodded. He stood. “It’s late. I’d better be going.”
She stood, too. They walked to the front door together. He put his right hand on the doorknob, hesitated, then turned to face her.
She lifted her face.
He touched her shoulders lightly, bent his head and brushed his lips across hers. “I want you to be sure,” he whispered, his warm breath faintly reminiscent of the coffee they’d drunk earlier.
“I’m very sure,” she said.
He didn’t kiss her again. She understood that he was the one who wasn’t sure.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said before he opened the door. “Sleep on this. If you change your mind, I’ll understand.”
Nicole met his gaze. “I won’t change my mind.”
* * *
The next week seemed to last forever. Jack alternated between thinking it would never end and worrying about what would happen when he moved in with Nicole.
He had never wanted a woman as much as he wanted her.
He had never been as afraid of his emotions as he was now.
He had never, ever, believed he’d be in this position.
In love.
He admitted it, finally.
In love.
In love with a woman who wanted exactly the opposite out of life than he did.
In love with a woman who, when he was with her, had the ability to make him forget everything but how much he wanted her.
In love with a woman who, when he was away from her, occupied his thoughts every waking moment.
And some sleeping moments.
During that week he called her every day, but he purposely stayed away from her, thinking maybe his desire for her, his love for her, would magically diminish. At times he prayed it would go away completely.
But he had no luck putting Nicole out of his mind.
What he accomplished by his self-imposed exile from her was to want to see her so badly he began to lose sleep. By the end of the week, he was a mess.
On Saturday morning, Nicole called him. A rush of happiness flooded him at the sound of her velvety voice.
“The Reed-Douglases are leaving on a one o’clock flight,” she said. “They’ll be gone by eleven.”
“I’ll be there at noon.”
After they hung up, he called his sister. He brought Jenny up to date on his progress, including a report of Justin Cantrelle’s disclosure. Then he carefully gave her instructions, after outlining his and Nicole’s plan. “I want you to call Derek Arnold and tell him that you asked me to look into Elise’s disappearance. Tell him I called you and said I thought I had located Elise, that she’s living in New Orleans at—” Jack gave her Nicole’s address. “—And going under the name of Nicole Cantrelle. Tell him I’m not positive it’s Elise, but I think it is.”
“Isn’t this dangerous to Nicole?” Jenny asked.
“I plan to protect her.”
“How can you protect her twenty-four hours a day, Jack?”
“I’m going to move into her place.”
“Oh.” He heard a lot in that oh. “I guess you know what you’re doing,” she added doubtfully.
He wished she hadn’t managed to revive his own grave reservations about the wisdom of what he was doing. “We’ll be careful,” he assured her. “But I’ll need to know the minute you talk to Arnold. I plan to put someone on his tail, but I don’t want them to watch him if there’s no reason to.”
“I will,” Jenny promised. “Do you want me to call him now?”
“No, wait until this afternoon. I’ll be at Nicole’s by noon. You can call me there.” He gave her the number.
After talking to Jenny, Jack called a friend of his in Houston—a private investigator named Paul O’Malley. He briefly explained the situation. “Paul, I want you to watch Derek Arnold. The minute he makes a move toward New Orleans, I want you to let me know. I’m not sure if Jenny will get in touch with him this afternoon, but I’ll call you as soon as she does.”
“You’ve got my beeper number, haven’t you?” Paul asked.
“Yes.”
“Well, if I don’t answer at home, beep me.”
Jack gave Nicole’s name, address and phone number to Paul. They said goodbye, then Jack finished packing up his things. Before he left the apartment, he opened the refrigerator and cleaned out the few foods he thought might spoil. Then he turned out the lights, picked up his one suitcase, slung his hanging bag over his shoulder and walked out.
* * *
Nicole had been a basket case all morning. Even her call to Aimee didn’t succeed in settling her down for very long. By the time Margaret and Caldwell had kissed her goodbye and given her all their last-minute instructions concerning the house, she was so nervous and so excited she thought she might burst. As soon as their Lincoln pulled out of the driveway, she dashed into her cottage, stripped off her clothes and took a fast shower. She’d spent the morning cleaning, so the inside of the cottage sparkled. She’d even picked some of Margaret’s fall roses, and they now sat, spreading their fragrance, in a crystal vase on her coffee table.
After her shower, she stared at the clothes hanging in her closet. She wanted something special, but she didn’t want to look as if she’d spent time trying to make herself look nice. She shoved one garment after another to the end of the rack. Then spied her gold corduroy jumpsuit.
Perfect, she thought, once she’d zipped up the oversized front zipper and stood barefoot, looking at her reflection in her full-length mirror. She blow-dried her hair, spritzed herself with perfume. She dug out her black flats, and had just finished putting on big gold earrings when she heard the doorbell.
Her heart gave a little flip.
Jack.
When she opened the door, she hoped her face didn’t betray how excited she was. Even though she’d decided to go for broke, to fight for him, to try to make him love her, she had to retain some measure of pride.
Because if she lost this gamble, her pride would be all she’d have left.
“Hi,” he said, pleasure lighting his eyes. Dressed in khaki jeans, an olive T-shirt, and dark green linen jacket, he looked so sexy and so handsome, he nearly took her breath away.
She led him to Aimee’s room, where she’d cleared out some space in the closet for his clothes. “Here’s two drawers for you, too,” she said, pointing to a white chest in the corner.
She avoided looking at Aimee’s youth bed, which was obviously much too small for a man of Jack’s size. She wasn’t sure what she’d say if he asked where he was going to sleep.
He didn’t.
She left him then, and w
alked out to the kitchen, wiping her clammy hands against her thighs. Her heart pounded. Lordy, she was nervous.
“Nicole...”
She jumped, putting her hand over her heart. When she turned around, she saw Jack leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. He had removed his jacket, and his T-shirt molded against his chest in a way that emphasized his well-developed muscles. He gave her an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I just didn’t hear you, that’s all.” She managed a shaky laugh. “If you’re going to be staying here, you’re going to have to make some noise—otherwise, you’ll give me a heart attack.”
He nodded, his smile fading.
Why was he looking at her like that? “Uh, are you hungry?” she said, her gaze sliding away from his. She had to calm down. Tension was a killer.
“No. I ate a huge breakfast.” He straightened, walked into the room, pulled a kitchen chair out and straddled it, leaning his arms on the back of it. The noonday sun streaming through the kitchen windows lit the hair on his forearms, turning it to burnished gold. “Don’t you want to know what Jenny said when I called her?”
“Yes,” Nicole said gratefully, tearing her gaze from the appealing sight of those bronzed arms, those clean, strong hands. She walked to the refrigerator, took out a can of diet soda. “Want some? Or a beer?”
“A soda is fine.”
She pulled a can from the refrigerator, and as she handed it to him, their fingers brushed. He popped the top and took a long swallow while she seated herself across the table from him and opened her drink.
He began to tell her about his phone call to his sister. For the next hour they talked, and gradually Nicole relaxed. When they had exhausted the subject of Elise, Jack said, “I don’t want to interrupt your normal schedule. You go ahead and do whatever it is you usually do, and I’ll try to stay out of your way.” He stood. “Do you mind if I watch the LSU game?”
“No. I have to go to the supermarket, anyway.” She stood, too. “What would you like for dinner? Want me to get a couple of steaks?”
“I thought I’d take you out for dinner.” His warm gaze held hers.
She felt breathless and as excited as a girl going on her first date. “That sounds nice.”
He took her to Antoine’s. Nicole had only been to the fabled restaurant once. This time was much more memorable. They were put in a little private alcove upstairs, and everything about the evening was magical.
Jack looked breathtakingly handsome in his dark suit paired with a striped shirt. Everything about him seemed bigger than life, she thought. His eyes seemed bluer, his smile seemed sexier, his voice seemed more seductive. All he had to do was look at her, and shivers raced down her spine. Every time she thought about going home, closing the door, and having him there—in her home—for the entire night, and for many more nights to come—she could hardly breathe.
Nicole knew they made a handsome couple. She was wearing a short clingy black crepe dress with a draped bodice and a deep V in the back. She’d pulled one side of her hair back from her face, securing it with a rhinestone comb, and long rhinestone waterfall earrings glittered from her ears. With the outfit she wore sheer black stockings and black satin evening shoes with very high heels.
She wondered what Jack was thinking. All through dinner he was attentive and charming, but he was holding something back. Several times she caught him looking at her with a peculiar expression in his eyes.
“What?” she finally said. “That’s the third time you’ve given me that look. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” His blue eyes glittered in the subdued lighting of the restaurant. “I was just thinking, that’s all.”
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she insisted.
His mouth twisted. “I was thinking that you are completely irresistible.”
Nicole swallowed. Her gaze locked with his.
“You look sensational tonight. Every man in the place is jealous of me,” Jack said softly.
Nicole could feel her cheeks warming. But she didn’t drop her gaze. For long moments, they looked into each other’s eyes. Finally, in a low, rough voice, he said, “Eat your dinner. It’s getting cold.”
The meal was superb, but Nicole was so keyed up it was hard for her to do it justice. She kept thinking about the expression in Jack’s eyes.
During dessert, Jack said, “I hope Jenny’s able to contact Derek Arnold tomorrow.” Before they’d left for dinner, he had talked to his sister again, and she’d told him she hadn’t been able to get in touch with Derek. “I don’t want this situation to drag on too long. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
After dinner, when they left the restaurant, Jack took her hand. The simple act caused more flutters in Nicole’s stomach, and she wondered how much tension a person’s system could stand.
“Would you like to walk awhile, or maybe take a carriage ride?” He squeezed her hand. “Or do you just want to go home?”
“Let’s just go home.”
Jack put the top down on the Miata, and Nicole nestled into her velvet jacket and enjoyed the cool night air as they cruised through the New Orleans streets. He found a radio station playing adult contemporary music and when the hauntingly beautiful strains of “The Music of the Night” from Phantom of the Opera played, he turned up the volume so that the music swelled around them.
Nicole was so full of anticipation and the thrilling newness of her love for Jack that she wasn’t sure she could stand it. In no time at all, it seemed, they were home. Nicole got out and waited while Jack pulled the Miata into the Reed-Douglases’ side of the garage, then they walked together up the path to her cottage.
Soon. Soon. Soon.
Her heart pounded in time with her thoughts. A fine tingling trembled through her body, and she shivered.
“Cold?” He put his arm around her, drawing her close.
Nicole closed her eyes. Oh, God. She wanted this. She wanted this so much. He kissed her cheek, and her heart leaped into her throat.
They reached her door, and she extracted her keys from her purse. She had forgotten to leave any lights on, so she fumbled with the lock, her fingers clumsy from nervous tension.
“Here, let me,” he said softly, taking the keys from her hand, but he kept his arm around her. She could smell his cologne, something clean and tart, reminding her of a crisp autumn day. The door swung wide, and together they walked into the house.
Moonlight streamed through the big front window. She could hear the mantel clock ticking, and the chirping of crickets outside the door, and the distant hum of the refrigerator.
“Nicole...”
She swallowed, turning slowly into his arms.
Shyness, and fear, and uncertainty, paralyzed her.
His voice was a whisper, a caress. “Nicole, look at me.” With his right hand, he lifted her chin. His left hand moved unerringly to her back, and his fingers slowly stroked her bare skin, sending delicious shivers throughout her body. “I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he said huskily.
Her heart felt as if it might jump right out of her body as his right hand trailed down her neck, back up to her ear, then settled under her hair. With gentle pressure, he nudged her toward him.
“I’ve also wanted to kiss you all day,” he said against her parted lips, their breath mingling for a tantalizing moment before his mouth settled onto hers.
The shyness vanished.
The fear vanished.
The uncertainty vanished.
Jack, her body cried. Jack, her heart cried. Jack, I love you, she thought as her evening purse slid to the floor and she lifted her arms and wrapped them around him.
She breathed him in, absorbed him, tasted him. Sensations pummeled her, exploded within her, transported her. She felt as if she were in the middle of a whirlwind, and the only thing holding her rooted to the earth was Jack.
She wasn’t sure where one kiss ended and another began. There was only Jack and
the steady pounding of her heart. Only Jack and the heated demand of his mouth. Only Jack and the insistent driving force of their mutual desire.
The room was very quiet. Only the sounds of their ragged breathing and Nicole’s soft moans interrupted the silken silence.
After a long time, Jack tore his mouth from hers, put his hands at the sides of her face and muttered, “Nicole, are you sure?”
“Yes,” she whispered, and she was. This might be all she’d ever have, but it would be enough. She’d rather have this than nothing.
Wordlessly, he lifted her in his arms and walked unerringly back to her bedroom. He kicked the door open with his foot, then set her on her feet. The shades in the room were down, so very little light penetrated. “We need some light,” he whispered. He moved toward the bedside lamp.
“Wait,” Nicole said. Earlier, hoping, shamelessly planning, she’d prepared. For this and for every other contingency. She wanted this. She wanted to make love with Jack. But she didn’t want another pregnancy. Not unless she had a husband to go along with another baby.
She walked to her chest of drawers, fumbled for a moment, then found what she was looking for. Lifting the pack of matches, she struck one, and lit the three candles in their crystal holders sitting on top of the chest. Then she opened the top drawer and removed a foil packet.
The candlelight danced over the room with delicate sorcery. Nicole slowly walked back to Jack. A little hesitantly, she held out the packet.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I’ve already got one. Don’t you know I’d never jeopardize your well-being?”
Their gazes met, and she smiled. Slowly, she reached for his tie, but her fingers fumbled as she tried to undo it. His eyes were like two brilliant gemstones in the candlelight. “Let me help you,” he murmured, covering her hands with his and guiding them.
Nicole could feel the blood rushing through her veins, pumping through her heart, fueling her body with life. She knew she would remember this night forever.
They undressed each other slowly. First his tie. Then her shoes. Then his jacket. Then her dress. Then his shirt. Then her slip. Then his belt and pants. Then her stockings.
