by L. M. Heidle
I lasted five minutes after class before I couldn’t take it and checked my phone. Five text messages.
Unforgettable: I’ll get my date, it’s just a matter of time. I don’t give up easily, so you might as well give in now.
Not gonna lie my heart rate spiked, my pulse quickened, and my stomach fluttered. Again the girly part of me was swooning, but Ms. Sensible said something was up. I’d tell him no, later. Right or wrong, it felt pretty damn good to have a guy like him interested in me regardless of the reason. I scrolled to the next text.
Kass: Umm, please tell me my best friend, a person I’d die for isn’t keeping secrets.
Kass: Hello? Idc if ur in class. U better tell me if u hung out with Trayton.
Eddie: Alex, stay away from him. How in the hell did they know I sorta hung out with Trayton today?
Kass: Please tell me that’s not u in that hideous outfit.
She’d attached a photo of Trayton and me at the coffee shop. I cringed when I zoomed in. I knew I looked rough, but damn. Saying I was dressed like a hobo was a compliment. I don’t know what’s worse than a hobo, but whatever is I was that. The fact that he saw me firsthand like this was bad enough, and now it was out there for the world to see. If there was a silver lining to this, it’d be that I was pretty confident he wouldn’t be asking me about a date again.
I hit send on my Lit paper as the front door slammed against the wall. I groaned. Guess we’d be patching that hole...again. I love Kassandra I really did, but damn she is hard on stuff. We’d already fixed the wall by the door three times this year. She’s lucky my dad took me with him on handyman jobs, or we’d be screwed. We’d both decided to only work during the summer, so we tried hard to budget our money. The diner where we worked had great tips, but that can only last so long. I also had my parents’ life insurance and scholarships to help. Kass had a couple scholarships too, plus her monthly guilt money. Her mom and dad both put money into her account to make themselves feel better about being absentee parents. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw her dad, and her mom only called once a month. Needless to say, unless it was an emergency, she never touched it.
I prepared myself for hurricane Kassandra as she came barging into my room. I’d been ignoring her texts all day, so I knew she was pissed. As soon as she stepped into my room, her hands started flailing around as she talked, or well yelled.
“Why haven’t you been answering my texts or calls?” I didn’t get the chance to answer because she kept right on talking. “Why in the hell would you go anywhere dressed like that? For crying out loud, your sweatpants have a freaking hole in them! Don’t even get me started on that damn stained shirt! What in the hell were you thinking?”
I held up a hand to stop her before she really got going. “Did you put another hole in the wall?”
She stomped her foot before both hands hit her hips. “Who cares about the freaking wall?” I’ll take that as a yes. “You were seen with the sexiest guy on campus dressed like a homeless vagabond.”
“Hey, I’m insulted!”
“No, your clothes are insulting. Hand them over right now. They’re hitting the trash. I can’t take the chance of you wearing them in public again.” That would happen the second Hell froze over. These sweatpants were my brothers.
I smacked her outstretched hand outta my face as I stood up. “Is there a reason for this conversation besides insulting my wardrobe?” I grabbed my empty hamper and started picking up my dirty clothes from the floor. I’m not a slob, but I toed the line at times.
“What were you doing with Trayton?”
“I wasn’t with him.”
“So what, someone photoshopped the picture?”
I blew a hair out of my face when I turned to face her. “I was there alone, and he showed up. I didn’t ask him to sit with me, he just did.”
“Oh really?”
“Uh huh.” I dropped the hamper and started making my bed for a distraction. I so did not want to relive my embarrassing encounter.
Unfortunately, Kass knew me too well. She grabbed my elbow swinging me around while clucking her tongue.
“What?”
“You’re cleaning.
“So?”
“You don’t clean.” I opened my mouth to object when she put a finger on my lips. “Unless you’re avoiding something.”
“I’m not avoiding anything,” I replied around her finger. She crossed her arms, stared me down, and started tapping her foot. I adopted the same pose and locked eyes with her. It was the battle of wills, which she won after a few minutes when she narrowed her eyes and tightened her lips. Damn, she was going to make a great mom someday. I threw my hands in the air in defeat. “Fine! I made a complete idiot of myself.” She held her arm out and moved her hand in a circular motion, universal for continue.
After I had told her everything that happened she stood there, biting her lip so hard I was afraid it’d bleed, and she had tears in her eyes. I rolled mine and finished making my bed.
“So,” she coughed out. “You were on your knees? In front of him?” When I didn’t say a word, she exploded with laughter. “OMG! I can’t believe I missed it. I wonder if they have surveillance cameras and what I have to do to get a copy.”
I faced her before smacking her arm. “Some friend you are! You’re not supposed to laugh at my pain. You’re supposed to tell me it can’t be as bad as I think.”
Her cheeks were twitching as she lied. “Okay, okay. I’m sure he didn’t notice at all.”
“You don’t believe that.”
“You’re right I don’t.” This time, she fell on my bed clutching her side. “So funny,” she choked out. When she saw my frown, she took a deep breath and sat up. She pulled my hand, causing me to fall on the bed next to her. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.”
“Oh, trust me it was.”
“Well, it couldn’t have been too bad since he hung around.” I still hadn’t figured out why he did that. If I was him, I would have run the other way. “So, what else happened? What did you guys talk about?”
“Nothing really. I bailed when he started asking about my family.” She lightly squeezed my hand but didn’t ask me to elaborate.
“So planning on seeing him again?”
“No. Why would I?”
“I don’t know, maybe because he’s freaking gorgeous. Plus, maybe he could get you out of this dating slump.”
“I’m not in a dating slump,” I grumbled.
“Then what do you call like six months of no dates?”
“I call it creepy that you’re keeping up with my social life.” She pushed me off the bed while throwing a pillow at me.
“You’re such a dork.”
“But you love me.”
“God only knows why.” I stuck my tongue out at her.
“Seriously, though, he could.”
“There is no dating slump. I got tired of meeting losers.”
“So your plan is just to never date again? A princess has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her prince.”
I slowly stood up. “You and those damn fairy tales.”
One of the things I loved most about Kassandra was her resilience. Her dad abandoned her and her mom when she was six for another woman. A woman who he now had a son with, Marcus. The worst thing about that whole situation was that he’s a doting husband and father to his new family, but he’s basically written Kass off.
Her mom has been just as bad, in a different way. She’d moved Kass in and out of her loser boyfriends houses without thought. When she was a baby she could play the single mom card, but as Kass got older, she started to resent her. She hated that she wasn’t the most beautiful one in the family anymore. Through it all, though, Kass had never stopped loving them, even though they didn’t deserve it. She also never stopped believing in true love. She wants her Prince Charming, and I pray she gets it, because if anyone deserves it, she does.
She threw another pillo
w at me. “Don’t rain on my parade. Besides, we aren’t talking about me, we’re talking about you.” We both glanced at my nightstand when my phone dinged. My heart did an irrational leap thinking maybe it was him. My face must have shown something because the next thing I knew Kass was diving for my phone.
I jumped up trying to get it from her, but she leaped to the other side of the bed. “Kass, give me my phone.”
She glanced down at it. “Unforgettable huh?” Damn, I forgot to change his idiotic name. “You didn’t tell me you gave him your number.” Technically I didn’t, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t see it that way. “He wants to know if you’ll meet him for coffee tomorrow.”
I made another grab for my phone when she started typing. “Kassandra Lynn Taylor, don’t you dare.”
“Don’t dare what? Hit send?” I nodded as she moved her finger back to my phone. “Oops, you mean like that?”
“You’re such a brat! What did you say?” She threw the phone at me. I caught it without taking my eyes off of her. I glared at her for a second longer before turning my attention to the text.
Unforgettable: Meet for coffee? Same time same place?
Me or well Kass: Want me on my knees again?
I slowly brought my eyes back to hers trying to remember that I loved her too much to kill her. “Seriously?” I jumped when my phone vibrated.
Unforgettable: Is that an offer?
Me: No chance in hell. Have a great night. I’m going to go kill my roommate now.
I powered off my phone, setting it on my nightstand before looking at her. “I can’t believe you!”
“Well, you weren’t going to take the first step!”
“So the first step is to proposition him?”
“Touché, I’m sorry.” She tilted her head slightly as she studied me. “What’s going on? You don’t care what people think. Ever.” Her eyes widened after a few minutes. “Holy crap you like him!”
I crossed my arms looking at the floor, the ceiling, basically anywhere but at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I rushed out. “Just because I don’t want him thinking I’m easy, doesn’t mean I like him.”
She shook her head. “I can’t believe this. The first guy you’ve shown interest in, in I don’t know how long, is someone like that.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to defend him, but I stopped myself. I knew she was referring to his reputation, and she wasn’t wrong. I shouldn’t let myself become attracted to him. I should find someone safe and reliable. That’s what I should do, but the only thought running through my head was safe and reliable was boring. Trayton was a lot of things, but safe wasn’t one of them. People always say you’ll fall for a bad boy at least once in your life, maybe he was mine.
TRAYTON
I walked into the coffee shop discreetly checking my surroundings. When I didn’t see her, two emotions hit: disappointment and relief. Disappointment because I wanted to see her, and relief because I didn’t.
I had my life planned out. As soon as I graduated, I was on the first flight back to New York. I didn’t want the complications a relationship would bring. My family meant everything to me, and I wouldn’t let them down over a woman.
Distance from family may have changed my perspective on my role with them, but they would always play a huge part in my life. Our lifestyle wasn’t meant for someone like her. It was obvious she was fighting her own demons, but she still had a heart. To survive in my world, you had to be hardened, and that wasn’t her. Broken maybe, but not hard.
I felt the second she walked in. She had such a light and airy presence. I think that was partly the reason I wanted to see her. I’d never noticed how everything in my life was various shades of black until she stepped in, making everything a little brighter. A feeling I hadn’t had since my mom died, which was why for a split second I entertained the idea of us. Wondering what it would be like to have her in my life, but then I noticed who was beside her. Eddie.
I whispered, “Screw this,” before shoving away from the table. I wasn’t going to sit around pining after a woman like a damn country song. If she wanted to be with a spineless, pathetic excuse for a man that was on her. The fact that I was waiting to see her like a teenager with his first crush meant it’d been too long since I had gotten laid. I could point my finger and have someone scratch my apparent itch in seconds. The thought of another woman didn’t sit right with me, but it didn’t stop me from walking toward the door.
I hadn’t meant to say anything when I walked by, but Eddie moved his hand to her lower back, and my body automatically stopped. “So I guess you won’t be getting on your knees for me today.” Her mouth dropped open as she sucked in a breath. I brought my lips to her ear, pushing a loose strand of hair behind it as I whispered. “Don’t worry, baby, doubt it would have been worth my time.” I knew I was an ass, and for a second I felt bad because she didn’t deserve my anger. She was just an innocent bystander in the feud that was between Eddie and me.
As Eddie pushed her lightly behind him, my fists clenched as I met his glare with one of my own. “Get the hell out of here, Russo.”
I smirked. “And if I don’t.”
He stepped forward lightly shoving my shoulders. “Then I guess I’ll have to make you.” I cracked my knuckles. This was a fight that was a long time coming. A fight that I couldn’t wait to have.
I gave a humorless chuckle as I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. My other hand fisted ready to break a bone or two, but when I caught a glimpse of Alex’s face, I stopped. She was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, her eyes the size of saucers. Even though her face was one of worry, she was still absolutely stunning. The sun shining through the window made it seem like she had a halo. It reminded me of my favorite book as a child. To this day I couldn’t remember the title, but I remembered how my mom’s face lit up every time she read about the little angel girl with blonde hair. She always used to say, “Trayton, one day you’ll find your own angel, and when you do nothing will be the same.” At that moment I knew, I knew I wouldn’t be able to forget Alex. I thought about my mom almost every day, but every time I was near Alex she triggered a forgotten memory. She was something rare, something to be treasured. Something that scared the living shit out of me.
I released my grip on Eddie’s shirt and ran out the door. I didn’t stop running until I stood by my car. I doubled over heaving, dying for breath. My brain fuzzy as my heart continued to race. What the hell was wrong with me? Is this what a panic attack felt like?
Suddenly my brain cleared, my breath came back, and my heart slowed. I lifted my eyes to see Alex standing twenty feet away, staring at me. Neither one of us made a move. I didn’t think either one of us even blinked. I wanted to wrap her in my arms as much as I wanted to get the hell outta Dodge. In the end, the decision was made for me when Eddie hollered at her from the door of the coffee shop. She took a hesitant step toward me before slowly backing away, never losing eye contact. I stood there another five minutes after she walked into the shop before getting into my car and driving home.
The further I got from her the less overwhelmed I felt. By the time I’d made it home, I’d convinced myself that everything I’d just felt wasn’t real. It was only the memory of my mom that had me so messed up. That’s all today was, just the side effects of a memory.
ALEX
I tried to focus on Kass as she ran around my room throwing random articles of clothing at me, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It’d been five days, three hours, and twenty-seven minutes since I’d seen him. Not that I was counting or anything. I threw myself back against my pillow as I groaned. He’s just a guy. A handsome, black haired, blue eyed god of a man, but a man no less. So what if his shirts pulled just right across his tanned arms? Like it mattered that he had a butt that you could bounce quarters off of. It certainly didn’t matter that his eyes and angular face had been a reoccurring fixture in all my dreams. And the fact that I’d sketc
hed him a few times definitely didn’t mean anything more than maybe I’m considering changing my major. Yeah if Art majors were only required to draw stick people.
Kass waved her hand in front of my face bringing me back from a debate of whether suffering through Art classes would be worth it to take Art in the Nude. It was the class everyone raved about because they sketched live models.
“Have you been listening to anything I’ve said?” She’d been talking?
“Of course. You were debating what to wear.” She looked slightly mollified. Not like it was hard to guess since my room looked like a tornado hit my closet, but whatever.
“What we’re going to wear.”
“Wear to where?” Hello, Dr. Seuss.
Her sigh was clearly one of agitation. “To the frat party tonight.”
“The ridiculous party where they call it ‘Club Frat’?” She slowly nodded her head. “I distinctly remember saying I wasn’t going. Hanging a disco ball and having a cover charge does not make it a club. It’s going to be the same as every other party. Some girl is going to make out with someone’s boyfriend or vice versa, which will end in a fight. People will still get drunk and act like complete tools before passing out. The only difference is I’ll be twenty dollars poorer.”
She placed her hands in front of me in a praying position. “Pretty, pretty please. Mark is going to be there. I need you. You wouldn’t let your poor, innocent little ‘ol roommate go by herself would you?” I started to say that she was anything but innocent when she put the nail in my coffin. “Remember freshman year when we made a pact to never go anywhere alone?”
Damn me and my stupidly smart ideas. I groaned. I knew without a doubt this party was going to suck, but if she needed me, I’d always be there. “You are going to owe me so big.”
She turned in circles as she jumped up and down while clapping her hands, her version of a victory dance. I put my hands on her shoulders to stop the ridiculous dance, but that didn’t stop her from bouncing on her toes. “It’s going to be so much fun.” Highly doubtful. It was most likely going to be a twelve on my ten-point scale of torture. She was completely oblivious to my reluctance as she started scouring the mounds of clothes she’d left all over my room.
