Chaos

by Johansen, Iris

  “Perhaps better than you’d believe considering how well she handled herself in the Szarnar Jungle,” he said gently. “I’ve never even met your Sasha, but I’ve become a fan.”

  “And so you should be. No one deserves it more. I tried to tell you that from the beginning.”

  “Be fair. At the time you were throwing all that psychic business about Margaret and her dog at me, too. Somehow your horse whisperer, Sasha, got caught up in the mix.”

  “Yet you used Margaret and her dog when you went after Masenak.” She stared him in the eye. “And you’ve just told me that you respect Sasha. Does that mean that you’re leaning toward believing that they’re both exactly what I say they are?”

  “No, it means that I still have no evidence, but I’m willing to accept that there might be something out there that I don’t understand yet.” He added quietly, “And I do believe in everything you are, Alisa. I’ve never believed in anyone more than I do in you. Which means I might be almost there.”

  She suddenly couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t look away from him. She was aware of everything about him. His eyes, his lips, that intensity that was always with him. “It’s about time.” She cleared her throat. “You’ve been a little slow, Korgan.”

  “I’ll catch up.” His gaze never left her as he reached over and covered her hand with his own. “And when you decide you can forgive me for the mistake that got you shot and Sasha in this mess, I’ll make a good friend to you, Alisa.” He smiled. “I’ve got excellent references.”

  “Have you? I don’t. I’ve been too busy working to make many real friends.” She could feel the warmth of his hand and his thumb moving back and forth on her wrist. She should probably move her hand, but she remained still. It wasn’t like the touch on her shoulder last night that had been so comforting. This one was gossamer light and sensual and yet almost erotically electric. It confused her, and so did all this talk about being friends. But that didn’t matter. Both times he had been kind and caring and honest as few people had been in her life. It wouldn’t hurt to accept anything he offered as long as she was careful not to let it mean anything to her. She added quickly, “But I’ve got Margaret and Sasha and that’s enough. And you don’t have to say you’ll be a friend to me because you feel guilty you weren’t perfect about that drone. I told you that you almost got everything else right.”

  “How generous of you.” He sighed and shook his head. “You’re impossible.” He gave her hand a squeeze before he released it. “I do feel guilty but that’s not the reason I want to be a friend to you. I’d much rather work on that down the road. But I’m beginning to realize that there are only two ways I can go. I’m trying to choose the one that protects you.”

  “That’s bullshit,” she said bluntly. “I don’t need anyone to protect me for any reason. This entire conversation is ridiculous. I don’t know how we got on the subject when I was only trying to figure out a way to block whatever Masenak and Reardon might try to do with Chaos.”

  “I know exactly how we got on the subject. My mind is never very far from it. It just kind of slid into it. Of course there’s no way we’d leave Sasha alone to deal with them. I’ll work on it.” He shook his head. “Correction: We’ll work on it. But we can’t do anything to stop them until we manage to get to Jubaldar. However, the options for finding it are multiplying. We have the hack on Reardon’s phone, and we know he intends to join Masenak for the race in two weeks. Vogel might be able to arrange to follow him. If that doesn’t pan out, we might still be able to do what we planned and locate it by using one of the village workers. I’ll call Gilroy this evening and see what progress he’s making at Samlir. Margaret will join us tomorrow and you said that the two of you should be able to track down that other village.” He smiled. “What are you worried about? We’re golden. All we have to do is wait for one of those options to drop in our laps.”

  “Yeah, we’re golden. What was I thinking?” She forced a smile. “After all, this is nothing after I conquered the cockroaches.” She finished her coffee. “I want to look at that map again and then I guess we should break out the rations.”

  “I’ll do it.” He turned away. “But first I need you to take off your shirt and bra.”

  “What?”

  “You were a little too determined about losing that sling from now on. I won’t be able to talk you out of it, so I have to examine that wound and make certain the bandage isn’t going to give you any trouble. Any objection?”

  She frowned and then started to carefully remove the sling. “No, I guess it’s a sensible precaution.”

  “Glad you think so. But then I knew you would, since you’re such a sensible woman. Always doing what’s necessary…” He was reaching into his backpack for a bottle of water and the first-aid kit. “Sit down by the fire. Let’s get it over with.”

  She’d already removed her shirt. “You’ll have to help me with the bra. You should have told whoever bought these clothes for me to get a front opening.”

  “The discussion never came up.” He unfastened the bra and slipped it carefully off her shoulders. “Just another mistake I made in my dealings with you. I’ll remember next time.”

  “But then I might not need it. I could manage it if I didn’t have this wound.” She stepped back and took the bra from him. “You said you wanted me to sit by the fire?”

  “Did I? I don’t remember.” He was staring at her breasts. “Beautiful…”

  She inhaled sharply and stiffened. She’d known there was a possibility of this, but he’d been so noncommittal that she’d thought that she might be wrong. But there was nothing noncommittal about his expression now. Nor her own reaction to his gaze on her breasts.

  They were swelling, the nipples becoming taut, so sensitive she felt as if they were burning. The muscles of her stomach were clenching. “You want this?” She moistened her lips with her tongue. “It’s all right. I don’t mind. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Why did I know you’d say that?” he said hoarsely. “A reward for doing almost everything right? But it does matter, and that’s why I’m going to go nuts until I finish checking out this wound.” He pushed her down before the fire and then knelt before her. “And cursing my idiocy while I’m doing it.”

  She could feel the heat from the flames on her bare breasts. They felt heavy…waiting. But it was no hotter than the ripples of need jolting through her. As he started to work on the bandage, she could feel his warm breath on the hollow of her throat and breasts making her even more taut…“I think you’re being foolish. It’s all very simple.” She added in a low voice, “And I’d probably…like it.”

  “I know I’m being an ass,” he said jerkily. “And I’d make damn sure you liked it. But there’s nothing about you or this that’s not complicated. Now just be quiet until I can finish and get my hands off you.”

  She sat there quietly while he cleaned, washed, and rebandaged the wound. “Are you finished?”

  He sat back on his heels and drew a deep breath. “Not nearly. Not in a thousand years. It almost killed me.”

  “Then you deserve it.” She got to her feet. “You were being stupid. Besides, you made me feel…I’m not a child or a victim. Don’t you ever treat me like one again.” She went to her backpack and started looking through it for another bra. “Now go somewhere I don’t have to look at you for a while. Call Gilroy or Vogel or make one of your super master plans while I find us something to eat.”

  “I have every intention of getting away from you ASAP. I’ve taken enough punishment for one day,” he said roughly as he headed back toward the road. “I’m a little limited about where to go to remove myself on this mountain. But you can bet I’ll try to oblige without jumping into the abyss.”

  She didn’t answer, and when she looked up he was gone. She drew a deep breath, stopped, and straightened. Now she could gain control again. She had shown him that she was mature and let him know that she wouldn’t tolerate being considered any other way. S
he wasn’t that fourteen-year-old girl he’d pitied and thought a victim.

  Perhaps would always think a victim…

  Screw him. He was the idiot he’d called himself. She’d done everything she could to change his mind. What else could she say after she’d told him she’d probably like it? He’d been close enough to her that he could see the changes in her body, which she hadn’t been able to hide even after he’d rejected her.

  And those changes were still present. Lord, she’d wanted his mouth on her breasts. She closed her eyes as she felt the heat clenching between her thighs. She knew sex, but she’d never known desire like those minutes kneeling before Korgan. She’d been having all kinds of fantasies when his hands had been on her. They wouldn’t go away even now.

  Korgan: It had to be because it was Korgan. Margaret had said that she’d always had an obsession with Korgan even before she had met him. She had denied it and told her it was only admiration for how clever he was and what he’d accomplished. But what she’d been feeling just now had nothing to do with admiration for his mind, and everything to do with sex. Nothing to do with payment for services rendered, and everything with bringing him into her body and making him want to stay there.

  The acknowledgment that she’d lied to herself came as a shock. The depth of how much she’d wanted Korgan brought its own sense of panic. Only earlier she’d been telling herself it was going to be okay to accept anything he offered as long as she was careful not to let it mean anything to her. But this situation clearly had its own dangers.

  Back up. Think about it. Don’t make a mistake…

  * * *

  Four Hours Later

  Where the hell was he?

  Alisa strode to the edge of the road where Korgan had disappeared all those hours ago. Darkness. The sun had gone down over two hours ago, and it would have been stupid for Korgan to be strolling around on that curving road, which was dangerous even in a vehicle in broad daylight.

  But Korgan was very sure-footed and climbed mountains for sport. Who knew what he might decide to do? She’d told him she didn’t want to see him anytime soon, and she shouldn’t worry if he’d taken her at her word.

  But she was worried. Her palms were clammy with cold. Even the best climbers could lose their footing if the ground gave beneath their feet.

  And then he’d plunge all that distance to the valley, and she might not even know she’d lost him. No, that couldn’t happen. Maybe she’d better go and see what had—

  “You should be painted with that fire framing you in the darkness. Very effective,” Korgan called out to her from the bottom of the road. “I can’t decide if you look welcoming or like a demon spirit casting a spell. I’m sure you’ll let me know soon.”

  The relief was overwhelming, and she was glad for that darkness so that he wouldn’t see it on her face as he walked toward her. “Why should I look welcoming? You did exactly what I told you to do. I was only wondering if you were going to stay out there all night.”

  “I was busy. I lost track of time.” He went past her and got a bottle of water from the carton sitting beside the fire. “But I did get thirsty.” His demeanor was as cool and brusque as if those moments by the fire had never happened as he opened the bottle and took a long drink. “And Gilroy and I were doing a lot of talking. It got fairly involved. But some good things might have come of it.”

  “What kind of things?” she asked warily.

  “You ordered me to come up with a plan, didn’t you? I told you that to hear was to obey.” He took another swallow of water and then went to stand before the fire. “Besides, you know very well that it would take me time to cool down. But when I called Gilroy, he’d come up with some information that distracted me enough to make me actually think about throwing together some kind of plan.”

  She stiffened. “What kind of plan?”

  “Ah, that interested you. Gilroy found the answers he was looking for. We’re not going to have to complete our trip to Kabada. Those Kabada villagers might have been dealing with Masenak, but it wasn’t extensively. It seems that Samlir has been providing most of the labor for Jubaldar for the past few years. Principally in the stables and household, but occasionally they bring in women to provide fun and games for the guests.” He paused. “At any rate, they know where Jubaldar is located.”

  “Sasha!” Her eyes widened with excitement. What he’d said meant they were going to find her. “Then they can tell us where it is.”

  “If they choose, but no one in the village is willing to do it. Jubaldar is an armed fortress, and what he demands of those workers comes close to slave labor. They’re afraid not only of Masenak, but also of Simon Davidow, the trainer who runs the stable and oversees the household.” He tilted his head as he thought about it. “There still might be a way around it. It appears that the stables have been losing personnel lately due to injuries. Yesterday one of the stable boys was sent back to the village with two broken legs, and there have been three other injuries in the past two weeks. When Davidow had the boy brought back to the village yesterday, it was with orders to the council to send immediate replacements if they want the present financial arrangements to continue.”

  “They seem to be chewing those boys up and spitting them out,” she said bitterly. “The council might decide it’s better to have healthy citizens than continue to feed Masenak’s need for forced labor.”

  Korgan shook his head. “According to Gilroy, they’ve gotten used to having that additional money in the community till. The council gets its percentage for being cooperative. I’m willing to bet they’ll scavenge and find some men to send to Jubaldar to make up the extra.” He paused. “Which will probably be better for us.”

  “You mean we can follow them?”

  “Yes, but we need to do more if you want Sasha to have someone there to protect her. We should have someone in the castle for her.”

  She didn’t know if she liked where this was going. “Can you bribe one of the villagers who are already there?”

  “Again, would you trust someone you didn’t know to protect her? Of course you wouldn’t.” He paused. “I promised you I’d find Sasha and take care of her. So it’s really my job.”

  “No!” The rejection she felt at the idea of Korgan going to Jubaldar, even to make contact with Sasha, was immediate and violent. “You believe no one on the planet would recognize you while you were skulking around that castle?” she asked sarcastically. “It’s not as if you can go anywhere incognito. It would be suicide. And by now Masenak has to know you’re responsible for what happened to destroy the Szarnar camp. He’s going to want to draw and quarter you the minute he gets a chance.”

  “Not necessarily.” He grimaced. “From the way he attacked you, I’d bet you’ll be first on his list now that I managed to make sure Lakewood gave you credit with the CIA and media.” He shrugged. “There are always ways and means. First, I’ll have to think of a way to make it work with those villagers. Gilroy said he might need me to come and influence council members and anyone else who could be tempted to tattle to Masenak and save their necks. The bastard seems to have done a good job of terrorizing those villagers since he started bringing them to Jubaldar as servants. I think I might need to snag that helicopter that’s bringing Margaret tomorrow to take me to Samlir.”

  Her fists clenched at her sides. “Because even primitive Berbers, who live on mountaintops at the back of beyond, can be influenced when the great Korgan pays them a visit?” Her panic was growing with every minute. She could see she wasn’t going to convince him, and it was beginning to terrify her. “Why don’t you admit you were just frustrated that you had to be practical and cerebral and didn’t get to play war games like Gilroy and the rest of us? Gilroy has been saying that about you since he showed up at base camp. Well, it wasn’t a game to me.”

  “Nor to me,” he said quietly. “Not this time. But this could be a break, and I’m going to work with it. You should try to work with it, too.” He pause
d. “Why are you so angry?”

  She didn’t know, but she was beginning to suspect. She couldn’t let him see beyond that emotion that wasn’t really anger. “Because you’re an idiot and all you can see is that you have to be in control. Even if Masenak kills you.” She added jerkily, “So much for you doing whatever I want. Well, you’ve done your part in finding Jubaldar. It’s not as if I can’t take it from here if I need to. By all means, go and have your talk with those Berbers.”

  “I will.” He muttered a curse. “Because it’s the intelligent thing to do, and I don’t know why you won’t admit it.” He turned away. “All I’ve said is that I’m going to look the situation over and you’re putting up all kinds of barbed-wire defenses and threatening to go ballistic.”