by Sue Limb
Then she abruptly stopped as Flora appeared, coming down the path and talking on her mobile. Jess was amazed. Did Jodie actually think she and Fred had cooked up Gerard’s accident? If so, she must be quite extraordinarily stupid.
‘Gotta go!’ said Jodie, turning back towards the house. ‘The weekend is cancelled! See you on Monday!’
Jodie went back up the path, passing Flora and ignoring her. You could tell just by looking at Jodie’s back that she was utterly triumphant. The way she brushed past Flora said: Gerard’s mine now – mine to take to hospital, mine to take home and look after … But d’you know what? I couldn’t care less anyway. He’s rubbish, because now I’m fixated on Ben Jones’s appendicitis scar!
Flora arrived where Jess was standing, and quickly finished her phone call.
‘OK, see you in half an hour, then, Mum – thanks! … Yes, Marie-Louise is fine!’ Flora put her phone in her pocket and stood looking sorrowfully at Jess. Tears filled her eyes.
‘So, Jess,’ she said with a rather tense, unhappy smile, ‘are we friends, or not?’
‘I can’t think about anything else until I’ve been to the loo,’ said Jess, and walked away. As she sat in the peace and quiet of the outdoor lavatory, she wondered if perhaps she had been a teensy bit harsh to Flora.
On second thoughts, perhaps, no.
Chapter 36
‘Of course we’re still friends,’ said Jess as they walked back down towards the campfire together. But she didn’t manage to say it in that bouncy, sincere, adoring way she might have managed last week.
It wasn’t just that Flora had got off with Gerard after he had seemed to be interested in Jess. After all, Flora hadn’t known he’d held Jess’s hand or said those things. It was more to do with the way Flora had acted once she and Gerard were an item: as if Jess hardly existed.
Once she and Gerard had tasted the delights of snogging in the open air, Flora had barely exchanged a word with Jess. She’d only whispered to her at night to report details of her heavenly evening. And she’d only returned to the campfire to steal a mighty portion of Jess’s breakfast – after publicly announcing that she wasn’t hungry.
That last act of carefree greediness was almost the worst thing of all. Stealing someone’s guy was well, sometimes unavoidable, maybe; stealing someone’s breakfast was a capital offence. At least in Jess’s eyes.
It just seemed to sum up Flora’s character. She was greedy. It wasn’t her fault. She just assumed that she was entitled to things: other people’s French exchange partners, other people’s scrambled egg. She was like a swarm of gorgeous golden locusts.
‘Oh, I’m so glad!’ Flora squeezed Jess’s arm. ‘We’re best mates, then, like always?’
‘Why wouldn’t we be?’ said Jess, with a shrug. But there was definitely something tetchy in the air. Jess was quite enjoying it, actually. Watching Flora squirm was almost the best moment of the weekend so far.
‘Well, it’s like … I don’t feel I’ve seen very much of you the past couple of days,’ said Flora.
‘Well, whose fault is that?’ said Jess. ‘You’ve been otherwise engaged.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said Flora guiltily. ‘I’m really sorry, Jess. But Gerard’s going home in a few days’ time and we’ve got to make the most of our time together. I might not see him again for months.’
‘So what’s the plan?’ asked Jess. ‘Getting engaged at Christmas, are we?’
‘Oh, don’t be stupid, Jess. Of course not!’ laughed Flora in an anxious, slippery way. It was just as if that very thought was festering in her golden glamorous mind. ‘It’s way too soon for anything like that.’
Way too soon, eh? thought Jess. A revealing phrase. It showed Flora was thinking big. Jess could almost hear wedding bells – in French.
‘Besides,’ Flora went on, ‘I’ll have to be really tactful from now on, because Jodie’s got it in for me. Stick up for me, won’t you, Jess? She’s not even speaking to me at the moment. Like I’ve committed some horrible crime or something.’
They arrived at the campfire, which was fizzling damply. Marie-Louise was packing up all the plastic boxes and cooking equipment, trying to remember which boxes belonged to which family. Flora immediately knelt down and started to help her. Fred and Edouard were taking down the boys’ tent, badly, and swearing bilingually in stereo. The campsite looked sad and finished.
Jess’s mum was the first parent to arrive. As usual she was wearing dire old Oxfam clothes, but as it was raining steadily by now, nobody noticed. Jess, Edouard and Fred piled into Mum’s ancient estate car, along with the tent and all the sleeping bags.
‘So, how did it go?’ asked Mum as they set off down the farm track.
‘Oh, fabulous,’ said Jess. That was enough info in her view.
‘Fabulous?’ said Mum. ‘With poor what’s-his-name breaking his ankle, and thunderstorms?’
‘Oh, terrible, then,’ said Jess. She was getting quite high on being back in the car. She was beginning to feel dry and warm and indoorish, and realised how much she had missed it.
‘What did you think of it, Fred?’ asked Mum.
‘Well, I’m not really the sporty outdoor type,’ said Fred. ‘I prefer to fester on the sofa, watching TV and eating chips. Personally, the rain couldn’t come too soon.’
‘You did enjoy the charades, though, admit it,’ said Jess.
‘Charades?’ said Mum, sounding pleased because she thought charades would have been perfectly innocent.
‘Oh, yes,’ said Fred. ‘The bingo was also excellent. And the Bible-reading.’
Jess smiled dreamily, but Fred’s words drifted lazily around the outside of her mind. Secretly she was revisiting the sacred part of her memory banks where Ben Jones lay, folded up and waiting. Gingerly, she approached the magic jewel-studded chest. She lifted the lid …
Out sprang Ben Jones, rather delightfully wearing football shorts, which was thoughtful of him. He trotted round the circuit of Jess’s mind for a few seconds and then swept her up in his arms and carried her, giggling, to a red velvet couch, where …
‘Are you hungry?’ asked Mum, from several hundred miles away.
‘When am I not hungry?’ said Jess automatically. Although, curiously, she was not quite as hungry as usual. It was ages since breakfast, and Flora had stolen half of that. But every time she thought of Ben Jones, Jess got a peculiar and delicious feeling in her tum that was even more enjoyable than devouring eggs and bacon.
They dropped Fred off at his house and stopped for fish and chips on the way home.
‘After all, it is an English thing,’ said Jess. ‘Edouard likes chips, too.’
‘I suppose,’ sighed Mum. ‘It is part of our culture …’
They sat in the car eating fish and chips out of newspaper as it was more fun and more English than taking them home. The rain continued to fall. The windows steamed up.
‘So, Mum,’ said Jess. ‘What’s happened in the rest of the world?’
‘There’s been a bomb blast in the Middle East,’ said Mum, sounding worried. Instantly Jess rejoined Ben Jones on the red velvet sofa. He wrapped his arms around her and they stared into each other’s eyes.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ said Ben Jones in a faint American accent, sounding a bit Hollywood.
‘And there’s a crisis about tax,’ added Mum. ‘Because of the Budget.’
‘I’m filming a comedy thriller, starting Monday,’ Ben went on, stroking Jess’s hair, which was suddenly, mysteriously, long and blonde. ‘I want you to come with me. I’ve rented a beach house on Malibu. It has a maid, a chauffeur, a butler and complimentary matching dogs.’
‘And I took Granny back home yesterday,’ said Mum. ‘She’s fine now. She’s come to her senses. I’m absolutely shattered, though. I shall have to have a lie down as soon as we get home.’
‘You’re my soul mate,’ sighed Ben, and his lips moved nearer and nearer to hers …
‘You haven’t eaten all your chips
, Jess,’ said Mum with concern, finishing her own meal and putting the rubbish in a convenient in-car bag. ‘I hope you’re not sickening for something.’
‘Oh, no, no, I’m just a bit tired,’ said Jess, hastily forcing down another long, limp, glistening masterpiece. ‘I didn’t sleep very well last night. Marie-Louise snored. In French. Although, in a way, I think everybody snores in French.’
‘Don’t say anything racist just in case,’ warned Mum.
‘Don’t you mean, don’t say anything racist cos it’s wrong?’ said Jess.
‘Of course, of course,’ said Mum, wiping her hands on her coat (she was that sort of mother) and starting the car. ‘Did the Queen enjoy her outing?’
‘Ask her yourself,’ said Jess. ‘I know you’re dying to practise a bit more of your flawless French.’
Mum said something in French to Edouard, who replied. They talked for some minutes. This was restful. Jess rejoined Ben Jones at their Malibu beach home and had the best fun, running up and down the beach with the matching dogs – who were wearing cute lycra doggie beach shorts.
‘Edouard seems to have enjoyed himself quite a lot,’ Mum cruelly cut into Jess’s daydream again. ‘He seems to have come out of his shell a bit. I think it did him the world of good.’
Jess was quite startled by the idea that Edouard had enjoyed himself. In a way she had hardly been aware he’d been there. Her mind had been so full of Flora and Gerard and Jodie and Ben Jones, she hadn’t really given Edouard a thought. But all the time he’d been there, having his own little weekend in his own little life. And he’d enjoyed it! How sweet!
‘He rescued me from a whole series of disasters,’ said Jess, suddenly remembering that, though she had barely been aware of Edouard’s presence, she had shamelessly exploited his good nature and camping skills. ‘We got lost on a walk and he pulled me out of a river, and then I scratched myself on a bit of rusty wire and he sucked the poison out.’
‘What a hero,’ said Mum. ‘He’s got hidden depths.’
‘And then he really came up with the goods and got rid of a spider that was in our tent,’ said Jess.
No wonder Edouard had enjoyed himself. Jess suddenly realised he had starred in a series of rescue roles. However, as he was small and strange, she had hardly even noticed. She was grateful, though, truly grateful.
So grateful that when they got home and he disappeared up to his room, she almost felt sorry and hoped he was not lonely. However, moments later he came down carrying a DVD case. He stood in front of Jess like a cute little soldier on a parade and said, ‘Jess – will you like playing my computer game?’
Heavens! He was talking to her! Jess seized the opportunity for endless hours at the PC, especially as her mum was crawling off to bed for one of her tragic headachy little sleeps.
Chapter 37
‘Flora thinks she’s it!’ Jodie whispered.
It was back to school with a vengeance, and poisonous gossip was still a dish to be savoured. Flora was sitting on a distant wall with Gerard, nuzzling and giggling. Jodie and Jess were eating their baguettes on the bench in the science quad.
‘I almost wish lover boy had broken his stinking ankle!’ Jodie went on, through a mouthful of chicken tikka. Gerard’s sacred ankle had, in fact, only been sprained. He had merely acquired a glamorous limp.
‘Anyway, who cares?’ said Jodie. ‘My next mission is to get to see Ben Jones’s appendix scar. I’m going to take a photo of it with my mobile and use it as my wallpaper.’
‘You are one sad sicko,’ said Jess.
Two girls came up – the ones they’d turfed off this bench a few weeks ago. What were their names again?
‘Hi!’ said the dark-haired spotty one. ‘Zoe and Chloe – remember? Your fan base, such as it is. Thought of any good jokes lately?’
‘How about a picture of an appendix scar as your wallpaper?’ said Jodie.
‘That’s not funny, that’s gross!’ screamed Chloe.
‘I wonder what they’ve done with his appendix,’ mused Jess.
‘Whose appendix?’ asked Zoe.
‘Ben Jones’s.’
Zoe and Chloe made appropriate fainting-with-pleasure faces at the mention of the divine name.
‘It seems such a waste,’ Jess went on, ‘just chucking it in the hospital incinerator. I would have given it a good home. I could have kept it in a little box, like a pet.’ Zoe and Chloe cracked up.
‘I would have made it into a hairslide,’ said Jodie. Zoe and Chloe laughed politely.
‘Anyway, listen,’ said Chloe. ‘Will you sponsor us? We’re doing a marathon chess tournament.’
‘No,’ said Jodie. ‘I’m broke. Push off.’
‘Don’t be so harsh, Jode,’ said Jess. ‘You’re turning into a grouchy old ogre.’
‘It’s in aid of the Teenage Cancer Trust,’ said Zoe, looking hopeful.
‘OK,’ said Jess. ‘Put me down for a couple of pounds. I’ll catch you later, OK? But you’ll never get any money off Jodie. She’s a professional skinflint.’
Zoe and Chloe departed and the bell rang for afternoon school. Flora tore herself from Gerard’s side, came over to Jess and took her arm. Jodie marched off, looking evil.
‘Jodie’s so bad-tempered sometimes,’ whispered Flora as they strolled to history. ‘Gerard said she’s really moody with him at home and everything. I mean, it’s not his fault we got together. It just sort of happened. You know how it is when you get swept off your feet – you know, you get these feelings, and they just blow you away, yeah?’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ said Jess. She was thinking of the feelings she’d had when Gerard had held her hand under water, and how easily she could have been blown away by them.
‘I wish you wouldn’t spend so much time with Jodie,’ said Flora. ‘I sometimes think she’s trying to turn you against me.’
‘I have no alternative,’ said Jess. ‘My best mate is otherwise engaged, and so is Jodie’s French exchange partner.’
‘It’s only till the end of the week,’ pleaded Flora. ‘I’m really sorry if I’m neglecting you, Jess. But Gerard goes home on Saturday and I don’t know when I’ll see him again.’ She paused. ‘Or even, well – if I’ll ever see him again.’ She gave one of her tragic sniffs. ‘Don’t be mad at me. It’s just – you know, well, I hope one day you’ll have an experience like this. I hope you’ll feel the same kind of thing I feel when I’m with Gerard.’
‘No, thanks!’ said Jess with a mock shudder. ‘I’m going to be a glamorous spinster like Miss Marple, with some knitting and a nose for homicide.’
She could hardly tell Flora that she already had felt the same kind of thing that Flora felt when she was with Gerard – and, what a coincidence! She’d felt it with Gerard, too.
‘Jess, I majorly adore you,’ whispered Flora as they neared the history room. ‘You are so great, you’re so funny. Always be my friend and look after me. Promise. Because I’m such a feeble dimwit.’
Thus spoke Jess’s beautiful best buddy, with her straight As, who was dating the only guy who had ever held Jess’s hand under water and made Jess’s heart turn somersaults. But in a way, what Flora said about herself was kind of true. Despite all her accomplishments, there was something really vulnerable about Flora. This was touching, if inconvenient.
Jess found it really hard to bear Flora’s starstruck confidences about Gerard. But no way could she hurt Flora’s feelings and destroy her happiness by telling her that Gerard had hit on her, too – and only minutes before he’d hit on Flora.
Ah, whatever, it’s all history, thought Jess, appropriately entering the history room. All the same, she felt emotionally drained. And to make it worse, Fred was away with a cold. He was such a wimp.
What with Jodie pouring anti-Flora poison into her right ear, and Flora pouring anti-Jodie propaganda into her left ear, Jess’s head was ringing.
She was actually looking forward to the walk home with Edouard. It would take place in a friendly silen
ce, punctuated only by the offer of sweets.
They were getting along OK these days, Jess and Edouard. They had a ‘relationship’ which revolved around sharing little food treats, playing computer games and never, under any circumstances, attempting to communicate either in French or English. This could be the start of something small.
Chapter 38
Saturday morning finally came. The French party was due to leave. Edouard came downstairs, trying to hide his relief and carrying two tiny presents gift-wrapped in silver paper. He placed one by Mum’s plate and gave the other to Jess.
Jess’s mouth was full of toast and marmalade.
‘Mmmmmmf – waugh – hmmmmm – mmmmm –ankoo very much!’ she spluttered. Carefully, she undid the wrapping paper. Edouard watched, embarrassed.
A small box was revealed, containing a pair of utterly gorgeous treble-hooped earrings. Edouard looked as if he had never seen them before.
‘At a guess it was the Queen’s mother who is responsible for this delightful gesture,’ said Mum, opening her present also. A tiny pair of pearl earrings was revealed. Mum whooped with exaggerated joy.
‘Well, you’d be worried by any guy who would buy and gift-wrap earrings for women he’d never met,’ said Jess.
They put on their new earrings and admired themselves in the mirror.
‘Crone with a Pearl Earring,’ said Mum, fishing for compliments as usual.
‘Grade-A Nerd Sporting Fabulous Bling,’ said Jess, pouting hideously at her reflection.
They both kissed Edouard, which he endured heroically, and shortly afterwards it was time to leave. Jess had a feeling that he had been packed and ready for days. So much for him having a crush on her. (Thank goodness!)
The school yard was crowded with cars. French English teachers, English French teachers and students were all embracing each other, some with genuine affection.
