“That was incredible . . . you . . . were . . . icre-di-ble,” Chris had shouted before lowering his full weight upon Arizona’s chest. He’d breathed and panted as if he’d just chopped down a tree.
Arizona’s mind had been dizzy with confusion and horror. Did he just come? she’d thought to herself. No, he couldn’t have . . . could he? But the larger question that remained, which she’d regretfully already known the answer to, was where was his penis? Arizona had known the only explanation had to be that he’d been so small that it had been unrecognizable to her vagina.
“Baby, I love you, and I’m sorry,” Chris had gently whispered.
His words had jarred Arizona out of her fog of shock and questions and back into the horrible moment. “What did you say?”
“I said I love you and I’m sorry,” Chris had continued. “I know for our first time you were expecting our lovemaking to last much longer, and so was I. But you felt so good, baby, and this felt so right that I got caught up in the moment, and before I knew it I gave in too soon. But I promise you, I’ll make it last the next time.”
Arizona’s eyes had shrunk with worry as she had tried to envision what a next time with Chris would be like. She’d taken a deep breath and fixed her eyes on the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. Four minutes. Four short but infinite minutes. That’s how long Chris’s and her mystery lovemaking session had lasted. From the time they’d crawled under the covers until he’d collapsed on top of her chest.
Arizona had taken another deep breath and turned on her side in order to face Chris and have a very difficult but honest conversation with her fiancé. Yet as she’d opened her mouth, he had, too, and out came the unmistakable sound of snoring.
I can’t believe this man just fell asleep on me! Arizona had shouted in her head. She had been dazed and livid at the same time. Still not wanting to believe what she knew was true, she’d pulled back the comforter to take a look at what Chris was working with.
Oh no! Oh no! she’d repeated in her head. She had known that after men ejaculated, their penises shrank, but it would require a man to have a semblance of a penis in the first place, and as Arizona stared at Chris’s genital area, the only thing visible had made her want to cry. There was little, if anything there.
Arizona had known she had to get up and clear her head, so she’d gone to the bathroom for some space. She’d sat on the commode and thought things over so long that her leg had gone to sleep. When she’d heard the door crack and Chris asked her if she was okay, she had decided she needed to come back out. As soon as she’d crawled into the bed Chris’s eyes had opened, his lips had formed a smile, and he’d said he was ready for round two. And as he’d promised, the second time had indeed lasted longer. Exactly one minute longer . . . on the dot. And unfortunately, Arizona had experienced the same displeasure as she had the first time.
Arizona’s mind was brought back to the present when she heard the buzzing of her cell phone. “Chris,” she sighed. She startled herself because for the first time since she’d started dating Chris, she wasn’t excited about seeing his name and number appear on her phone’s screen. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and answered his call. “Hey, babe.”
“Happy birthday to my beautiful, gorgeous, awesome, fantastic, fabulously luscious bride-to-be!” Chris sang into the phone.
“Thank you, babe.” Arizona forced a smile into her voice. “How’s your day going? Is work busy?”
Chris was the general manager at the St. Hamilton, Bourbon’s only upscale boutique hotel. He’d started working in the hospitality industry when he was a college student at North Carolina Central University, and then had transferred to Morehouse College, both of which had been worlds away from his home in Queens, New York. Chris had applied himself at work just as he had in school, and had risen from being a bellman, to room service staff, on to being a front desk clerk, to working in sales, and then eventually securing a management position with Hilton Hotels upon graduating magna cum laude with a degree in business administration.
Chris’s hard work ethic, professionalism, and honesty were just a few of the many qualities that Arizona loved about him. He’d been promoted to general manager six months ago, shortly after he’d proposed to Arizona, and in that time he’d made a tremendous turnaround in the hotel’s function and the staff’s satisfaction, which was all for the better. Lately, things had been super busy and Chris had been working long hours to keep up with all his projects and tasks.
“My day is going well,” Chris replied. “Cold, but well, especially now that I’m talking to my beautiful birthday girl. I knew you were sleeping in this morning and that’s why I held off on calling you until now. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to hear the voice of the woman I love, and welcome you to the thirty-and-over club,” Chris said.
Arizona could hear Chris’s excitement through the phone. She wanted to feel the same enthusiasm, especially because it was her birthday, and the love of her life had called and was showering her with loving and adoring words. But she couldn’t bring herself to a level of excitement that matched Chris’s. “Thanks for welcoming me to the club. I feel good.”
“You sure?” Chris asked. “You sound like you just woke up . . . Did I wake you?”
“No, I’ve been up. I guess I’m just a little tired.”
“Oh . . .”
Arizona knew that Chris’s next question was going to be, I know you, Arizona, what’s wrong? so she beat him to it. “I’ve been doing some deep thinking, reflecting, and praying since I woke up,” she offered, which was true.
“A milestone birthday will do that. I did the same thing when I turned thirty, two years ago before we started dating.”
“So you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I do,” Chris affirmed.
“I’m glad you understand. I feel grateful and thankful to God for another year of life. But I’m also a little scared. I mean, I’m no longer twenty, and time is gonna rush even faster.”
“And that’s okay, baby. I got you. Whatever you feel, whatever you want, whatever you need, I’m here for you.”
Arizona knew that Chris meant every word he’d just said, and as she walked over to her closet, fishing through the growing selection of clothes, courtesy of her fiancé, that were draped on pink plastic hangers she knew was part of the proof of his declaration. She’d always been a plus size woman, but after giving birth to Solomon, she’d gained more than fifty additional pounds that had taken up residence around her body and seemed to have no intention of moving any time soon. Her weight, combined with her tight budget as a single mother, had once left her wardrobe sparse. But ever since she’d started dating Chris, he’d made sure that she, and Solomon, had clothes, shoes, food, toiletries, and anything else they needed. Arizona felt a pinch of guilt as she ran her hand over a cashmere sweater that Chris had bought her a few months ago.
“I don’t deserve you, Chris Pendleton.”
“No such thing, Arizona Mays. You deserve more than me, but I promise you with everything I have inside me, I’m going to work my butt off to make sure that you’re happy.”
“Babe . . . why do you love me?” Arizona hadn’t meant to blurt out the question, but she couldn’t help but ask him because of the growing conflict she’d begun to feel deep in the pit of her stomach.
Chris chuckled on the other end. “Wow, you didn’t lie when you said you’ve been thinking and reflecting.”
“I told you . . . but seriously, why?”
Chris didn’t hesitate with his answer. “Love is a mixture of feelings and actions. I feel deeply connected to you, Arizona. When we first met I was attracted to your beauty, your infectious smile, and your wit. Every time I looked at you I felt good inside. As I got to know you, and especially after we started dating, I was drawn to different things, like how loving and caring you are, how strong and hardworking, how thoughtful you are, how you sacrifice to take care of Solomon, and me, too. The actions you showed every day r
einforced my love.
“Arizona,” he continued, “it’s hard to find what we have in each other. I prayed for you and you prayed for me, and on my end, God gave me what I asked for . . . actually, he gave me a lot more. That’s why I know without any doubt that I love you.”
The same pinch of guilt she’d felt just moments ago had come back and was growing into full-on pain. Arizona couldn’t believe that she was letting something as little—literally speaking—as a small penis get in the way of her big blessing, which was a good man who loved her, and whom she loved. “You’re an amazing man,” Arizona said with sincerity. “Thank you for loving me, despite my flaws.”
“That’s what real life is all about.”
Arizona had a mountain of thoughts flying through her mind and she needed time to digest her feelings. But just as he always did, Chris stepped in to save her, even if this time it was unintentional.
“Listen, baby, I’ve got to get back to work. But I hope you have a wonderful dinner tonight and I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast.”
Arizona and Chris said their goodbyes and she went back to her troubled thoughts. She knew she needed guidance on this matter, but the subject was so sensitive that she didn’t know who she could turn to for direction as well as discretion. One thing that she’d learned from growing up in a small town was that everybody seemed to know their neighbor’s business. Arizona looked up, closed her eyes, and took her worries to God.
Chapter 7
BERNADETTE
“I’d like to start with the smoked salmon crostini and a glass of Veuve Clicquot,” Bernadette said to the attentive server. She’d asked to be seated in a quiet part of the Magnolia Room, the upscale, sophisticated restaurant that was only five minutes from her house in the exclusive Palisades section of town.
Bernadette had almost decided against treating herself to dinner tonight. But after an hour of volleying the thought back and forth through her mind, she’d decided to brave the cold and celebrate her birthday with a good meal, as she had done on so many birthdays in the past. But she’d known this birthday was different. A half century was a big deal, and even though this was the first birthday she could remember that she hadn’t been at all thrilled about eating dinner alone, Bernadette had known that going out to enjoy a delicious meal would be a lot better than putting a frozen pizza in the oven while she watched old DVDs by herself.
Once she’d decided she was going out, next came the decision about what to wear, and because she’d only planned to be at the restaurant for an hour or less, she hadn’t wanted to get dressed up. But then a thought had occurred to her. “This might be my lucky night,” Bernadette had said to herself. “Who knows, I might meet someone, and if we hit it off, I want to look good.” She paused and closed her eyes. “God, please let me meet someone tonight. Someone who’s kind, and good, and above all, straight up and honest.”
She walked into her large closet and glided her delicately manicured hands across the silk blouses, tailored jackets, slim pencil skirts, and men’s inspired trousers, all hanging in neat, color-coded order. She knew she should probably wear a thick sweater because it was cold outside, but she wanted to look sophisticated with a touch of sexy, and a sweater wasn’t going to cut it. “Hell, even if I don’t meet a soul tonight, I want to look good for my own benefit,” she’d said.
She’d decided on a fitted long-sleeve black and white silk blouse. She looked at herself in her floor-length mirror as she slid a black leather skirt over her small hips. “If I wasn’t afraid that I’d end up with possible life-threatening complications I’d get butt injections,” Bernadette said as she sized up her flat backside. “Oh well, it is what it is.”
She accessorized her outfit with a dainty pair of gold hoop earrings and matching bracelet, then topped off her look with black suede stiletto boots. For the finishing touch, Bernadette picked up her bottle of Tiffany & Co. perfume and lightly spritzed each side of her neck before doing the same to her wrists. She swept the front of her shoulder length hair to one side and pinned the rest up into a neat chignon that rested at the nape of her neck. “Perfect,” she said, giving herself a stamp of approval. Satisfied with her look, Bernadette wrapped her brown Alpaca cape around her body and braved the cold.
* * *
Now, sitting in the warmth of the restaurant, Bernadette wasn’t so sure it had been a good idea to go out after all. She’d purposely decided to go early because she’d known that the later she waited on a Friday night, the more crowded it would be. But it was barely five o’clock and the place was packed.
“I’m dining alone, is there a section that’s quiet and more secluded?” Bernadette had asked, looking around the main dining room that was big and opulent enough to host an elaborate wedding reception.
The bubbly hostess nodded. “Yes, we have a more intimate seating option,” she said and then paused. “It’s where we usually sit our couples. Is that okay with you?”
Bernadette didn’t want to be a lone single woman surrounded by couples in love. “Do you have another section?”
“You can try the bar, but it’s not as private.”
So, to Bernadette’s chagrin, she was seated in what she’d deemed Lover’s Lane. If she’d had a date this would be the perfect spot. The room boasted low lighting, beautiful chandeliers, a fireplace on each side of the room, and beautiful fresh flowers and candles on each table. She looked around the romantic setting and wished God would answer the prayer she’d sent up before she’d stepped out.
“Would you like to order your entrée, ma’am?” the server asked Bernadette, pulling her mind back into the present.
“I think I’ll need a little more time to look over the menu.”
“No rush, ma’am. Take all the time you need,” the attentive server responded. “In the meantime I’ll bring out a selection of gourmet breads while you wait for your appetizer.”
Bernadette smiled. “Thank you, and please bring out the Veuve when you can.” Even though she wasn’t sure about what she wanted to eat, she had no doubt that a glass of champagne was what she needed.
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll make sure to get that out to you right away.” He winked and quickly pranced away.
Bernadette continued to peruse the menu when she saw a familiar-looking woman heading her way behind the ultra-bubbly hostess. The attractive woman was tall and full-figured, with golden copper-colored skin that looked as if it had been kissed by the sun. The fact that she’d been able to achieve such radiance in the dead of winter impressed Bernadette. The woman strutted into the room wearing a cream-colored ribbed turtleneck, wide-legged herringbone trousers, and sleek stilettos that made her stand nearly six feet tall. She carried her tan-colored coat in the crook of one arm and what appeared to be a knock-off Berkin in the other.
Bernadette had a feeling of déjà vu, as if she’d already met the attractive woman, but she couldn’t put her finger on where. In the six months since Bernadette had moved to Bourbon, she’d been consumed with work, so she hadn’t gotten out much at all, and because it had been unseasonably cold outside over the last few months, that had further hindered her ability to explore her new surroundings. The hostess led the woman to the small table positioned directly beside Bernadette.
Now that the woman was in close range, Bernadette was even more sure that she knew her, but she still couldn’t figure out the connection. As she discreetly inspected the plus-size beauty, it struck her that even though the woman was smiling, she didn’t look happy, and it was as if she was trying to fool everyone around her into believing something that wasn’t true. Bernadette recognized the expression all too well because it was one she wore nearly every day. She wondered why a woman like her was dining alone. Bernadette knew the same could be said for herself, but looking at the attractive lady, something told her that she definitely had a man. Then it suddenly occurred to Bernadette that the reason the woman looked unhappy was more than likely because her date had yet to arrive. Being stood up w
as also something that Bernadette was all too familiar with.
Once the woman was seated comfortably at her table, she looked around, and that’s when she and Bernadette locked eyes. Bernadette could see that not only was the woman unhappy, she was also deep in thought according to the hard vertical line etched across her high forehead. Bernadette hoped the woman’s date would get there within the next few minutes.
Bernadette was staring so hard that she knew it was obvious, so she decided to nip the awkwardness in the bud. “Hi.” Bernadette nodded and smiled.
“Hi, how are you?” the attractive woman asked with a ring of familiarity.
“I’m well, and yourself?”
The woman nodded. “I’m blessed . . . and I’m ready to enjoy a good meal.”
“Me too,” Bernadette responded. “This is my first time here, is the food good?”
“It’s my first time, too. But I’ve always heard great things about this place, and since it’s the fanciest and the priciest restaurant in the whole county, it better be real good.”
Bernadette smiled and nodded politely, noting that the woman spoke without a filter. “Well, that’s nice to know.”
“I’ve been wanting to come here for years, so I figured since today is my birthday it’s a good reason to eat a delicious meal without having to cook it myself.”
Bernadette lit up like a Christmas tree. “It’s my birthday, too.”
“Get outta here, are you serious?”
“Yes, I am. And let me say, happy birthday to you!”
“Right back at’cha,” the woman said.
Bernadette smiled but didn’t know what to say beyond that. She hoped the woman’s dinner guest would arrive soon because the last thing she needed was to have to make polite but unsolicited conversation with a stranger. All she wanted to do was eat a fabulous dinner, have a good drink, and then go home and get a good night’s sleep.
The Other Side Page 6
