“I’m fine.”
“We need to walk around and greet our guests.” He swung his legs over the bench and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arm around her.
She shook aside the image of April eighteen months earlier, in this very spot, and clung to Thad’s side as they walked around all afternoon and evening visiting with their guests.
When the last few buggies finally pulled away, Thad helped the youngies pick up the benches, and May stole her way back into the haus and up to Leah’s room. She cracked the door and peeked in.
Josie, dressed in her nightgown, sat next to Leah’s crib. She waved her in.
“I missed this little one,” Josie whispered.
“Me, too.” May quietly pulled the rocker over next to Josie’s chair by the crib and sat.
“You should be with your new ehemann.” Josie nodded toward the door. “I’m watching Leah. Go.”
“I just wanted to check on her. He is helping the buwe stack the benches on the wagon so they’ll be ready for Church Sunday.”
“How does it feel to be a frau?”
The question bounced around in her head. She wasn’t quite sure of the answer. She wanted to be Leah’s mamm, and Thad came along as baggage. “It’s a new feeling.”
That was a lie. She felt numb.
Josie gave her a hug. “I’ll help clean the mess tomorrow. You go get ready for bed. You’re a married woman now. I’ll sleep on the twin bed next to Leah’s crib. And don’t worry about a thing.”
May slid out of the rocker, walked to the door, and glanced back at Josie and Leah. Leah looked like a little angel, and after the long day, Josie looked like she was asleep already.
She hoped her married life was as simple as that.
Chapter Five
At noon a week later, Thad looked toward the haus and noticed May standing in the kitchen doorway waving her hand vigorously to get his attention. He stopped the buggy and stepped down to hear her words.
“Dinner is ready,” she said with a pleasant voice but a weak smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
The past week had been tense. May had married him, but ever since that day, she’d acted as if it were a mistake. He certainly didn’t profess to know the mind of a woman, but if he had to guess, it seemed like she regretted her bargain.
Thad crossed the lawn and headed up the porch steps, dread dragging his heels. Another dreary lunch with May, watching her stare at her food until it was gone, then she’d jump out of her chair and start clearing the table. Anything else was better than a conversation with him.
Where was all the happiness he was going to shower on his frau? Forcing this marriage had been a bad idea. But he knew if May ever left the farm, she’d never come back. He had to be patient and give her time to warm up to him. They had only been married a week.
He’d always heard that the first year of marriage was the hardest. Maybe everyone who said that was right.
He hung his hat on the rack, washed his hands and quickly scooted to his chair, trying to stay out of May’s way in the kitchen. The scent of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy wafted through the air, not her usual lunch menu. May was a terrific cook, and even if her company was lacking, her meal more than made up for her coolness.
After silent prayer, May cleared her throat. “Thad, I want to apologize for the way I’ve acted toward you this past week and your marriage to April.” He could see the tears run down her cheeks. “There is no excuse for my actions. You are my ehemann now...” the word stumbled out “... Leah is now my daughter, and I’d like to try to get along. Start fresh again. The marriage happened so fast. I made a decision.” Her voice cracked.
His face burned as shame inched its way up his back. He set his fork down and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, too. I should have told you that April and I were getting married instead of letting you hear about it when they read the banns at church. That was wrong. Instead, all the unspoken words have been hanging between us, creating a big ugly storm cloud. I’m sorry it had to come to this.”
She wiped a quick hand down her cheek and glanced his way. “Jah, I agree.”
For the rest of the meal, May talked to him and even smiled. She chatted about the garden, the strawberries she had picked and her expectations that she’d have an ample amount for canning. “If you bring in some cream, I’ll make strawberry ice cream. Leah would like that.”
“Jah, okay.”
After milking, Thad headed across the barnyard toward the north forty to see how the pickers were progressing in the field. The tomatoes were a bumper crop this year. That would help offset what he lost on the milk, but even a bumper crop wouldn’t save it if he lost much more income.
He watched May carry a basket of laundry out to the clothesline. She shook out her dresses and hung them in a row next to his shirts.
His heart raced. The sudden urge struck him to run over to May, pull her into his arms and press a kiss to her lips. When she was nearby, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her slim form and that auburn hair peeking out from beneath her prayer kapp made him want to stand here all day and watch her.
He swallowed hard. Sweat beaded on his forehead. He searched his shirt pocket for his hanky. Empty. He checked his pants pocket. Nope. He removed his hat and rubbed his shirtsleeve across his forehead.
Somehow, he had to get May to fall in liebe, but he could see that wouldn’t be easy. Jah, she said she was sorry for the way she acted toward his marriage to April, but had she really forgiven him? Actions spoke louder than words. And some days she barely tolerated him. He’d bide his time and think of a way, but his arms were sure itching to hold her.
He swiped his stained and sweaty hat against his trousers, then thumped it back on his head. He glanced at May one more time before continuing to the field.
* * *
May finished hanging the laundry, grabbed the basket and headed for the haus. When she noticed Thad watching her, her heart gave a weird jump.
Lord, please grant me a double portion of patience and tolerance for Thad. Please help me stash my personal feelings and help save the farm. And sometimes, Lord, I feel I married Thad for the wrong reason. Forgive me.
As the week went on, she saw less and less of Thad as he stayed busy with the harvest. He ran in the haus for dinner and supper, then worked until dark, barely seeing May or Leah. Jah, she knew farmers were busy, but he had an obligation to his tochter, didn’t he?
When Leah awoke from her nap, May peeked around the corner of the crib. “Peekaboo!”
Leah laughed and held out her arms.
“There’s my big mädel. Would you like your diaper changed so you’ll be all sweet-smelling for your daed? Some day, we will start potty training. Won’t that be fun?”
“Nein.” Leah giggled.
“Jah, it will be fun.”
“Nein.” She laughed at the game they were playing.
Leah’s eyes brightened and she jabbered away. She didn’t really know what the words meant, but it sounded like a great idea.
May reached out her arms. “Let’s go see Daed.”
She carried Leah to the barn. Walking through the barn, she heard noise coming from Tidbit’s stall. She stuck her head around the corner and Leah followed suit.
Thad looked up and smiled. “Ah, so my two girls have come out to see me.” He set his pitchfork against the wall, walked over and gave Leah a kiss on her head.
“Ew.” May wrinkled her nose.
“Ew.” Leah winkled her nose, than patted it with her hand.
“What brings you two out here? Wanting to help, maybe?”
She smiled. “Not hardly. Leah misses you. When you walk out the door, she watches it a long time for you to return. At least spend a little time with her when you come in to eat.”
He nodded. “Jah, you’re right. I’ll spend some
time with her at meals.”
She held Leah out toward Thad. “Would you like to hold her now?”
“My hands are dirty and I’m smelly. Wait until I come in and clean up.”
“Okay. Barbecued spare ribs will be ready in an hour.” She wrinkled her nose and made the trip out of the barn faster than on the way in.
* * *
Thad smiled and shook his head as he watched May leave. For sure and certain, she didn’t want him around but was willing to sacrifice her happiness for Leah. His heart ached each time he saw her sad eyes. How he longed to take her in his arms and hold her until her pain went away.
Whirling around to retrieve his pitchfork, his foot smashed a bug that darted across his path. Jah, it was evident that May’s love for him was as dead as that bug. But what did he expect? This was a marriage of convenience and nothing more. Unless he could strike a spark in her, but how would he go about doing that? Maybe there was another way to win her heart...
He finished cleaning Tidbit’s stall and would tackle the others after dinner. Parking his boots by the barn door, he slipped his feet into his shoes and headed to the haus. May’s barbecued ribs were his favorite.
After dinner, Thad picked up Leah and set her on his lap. Her little eyes stared up at him intently, studying his features. She’d brought along her baby doll and he had to hold that on his other leg. Leah reached for his whiskers, but Thad turned his head fast and they slipped through her fingers. She giggled and giggled. He turned back, she grabbed for them again and he jerked them away.
She laughed and squealed. “Daed.”
“What did you say?”
She laughed and showed her little teeth.
“May, did you hear what she said?”
“Jah, it was plain as day, she said Daed.”
Leah’s tiny fingers gripped his blue chambray shirt as if she were the one keeping him safe and secure. His heart melted. He stroked his finger over her velvety soft cheek. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for these two girls. But this wee one needed all the protection he could give her.
She giggled and squirmed around on his lap, playing with her doll. She finally set her doll down and leaned back against him, her eyelids slowly starting to droop. She popped them open, but slowly they closed in sleep.
The sound of a dish breaking in the sink jerked his attention in time to see May lose her balance standing on a stool and fall. Her arms flying in every direction, she smacked hard against the sink, then crumpled to the floor. He hurried and laid Leah in her crib and ran back to help May.
She stuck her hand up. “Nein, don’t touch me.” She grunted as she tried to move. Then froze. And moaned as she slumped against the sink, her bottom firmly planted on the floor.
“Did you hurt your back?”
“Nein. I hit the sink with my arm and shoulder and probably bruised them gut. I twisted my ankle when I fell, so I can’t stand on my left foot.”
“Let me help you up, and I’ll take a look.”
“You’re not touching me, Thad,” she ground out through clenched teeth.
“Well, it’s either that or I’m going to the barn to call an Englisch ambulance to take you to the hospital.”
“Are you crazy? I’m perfectly fine.” She tried to stand but the movement and exertion caused a flush to rise on her cheeks. She inhaled three deep breaths. “I might need a little help.”
“I’ll put my arm around your waist and lift you straight up. If you want me to stop, just say so.”
She threw him a glance with fear-filled eyes as the colored drained from her face.
“I’ll try not to hurt you.” Jah, like that was really going to happen. He could already see a huge lump on her foot, and the way she held her shoulder, it might be broken, too. “I’ll try to inch you up slowly. Take a deep breath.”
She inhaled deeply, and before she could exhale, he had her on her right foot holding the left up off the floor.
“What happened to the inching idea?” She groaned and her cheeks paled.
He touched her hand, then her cheeks. They were cold and clammy. Fear crept into his heart.
“I’m so weak. Let me sit and rest a minute.”
He helped her to a chair and slowly lowered her down. “Okay. I’m calling a driver and taking you to the hospital. I think your foot is broken and maybe your shoulder, too.” He held his voice steady, but inside, he was shaking like a fall leaf in the wind.
“I’m feeling a little better, but my foot really hurts.” Her voice cracked. She tried to move it but he could see tears in her eyes.
“If it’s broken, it will hurt until the doctor sets it. I’m going to the barn to use the emergency phone to call for a car. Leah is sleeping—will you be all right?”
“Yes.”
Now he knew something was broken or she’d never have so readily agreed. He watched her for just a second to make sure she looked settled enough that he could leave her for a few minutes.
When he returned to the haus, he crouched down next to May. “Are you okay?”
Her voice shook. “Sure. What will we do with Leah, take her with us?”
“Nein. I called the neighbors, Caleb and Sarah Brenneman. They’ll come and pick her up. Since Sarah is pregnant, the bishop let them have a phone and Caleb just happened to be in the barn when I called.”
“She’ll be scared to go with someone she doesn’t recognize.” May heaved a nervous breath.
“I know, but it’s probably time she got used to it. Something like this could happen again.” The minute the words left his mouth, he wanted to bite them back.
“I certainly hope not.” She cringed when she leaned back against the chair.
He propped a hip against the counter. “So do I, but we need to plan for what could happen.”
“I know. I just think about how she will miss us.” Her voice wavered with worry and pain.
“I need to go to the toolshed and write out instructions for the youngies I hired to help weed the crops this week. With the past few days of rain, the weeds are out of control.” He left a note on the workbench, then hurried back to the barn to give Tidbit a quart of oats and fresh water. The strong smell of soiled straw assailed his nostrils. He’d neglected his maintenance duties while trying to get the fields worked, but mucking out the stalls would need to wait a couple more days.
When he entered the kitchen, May had her arm propped on the table, and the other lay next to it, the hand curled closed and white-knuckled. The gravel in the driveway crunched under buggy wheels and hooves. Thad glanced out the window. “Sarah and Caleb are here.”
He opened the door as Sarah flew to May’s side. No doubt, Sarah’s years of experience in the bakery business had prepared her for many unforeseen emergencies. “May! How do you feel?”
“A little better. Danki for taking Leah.”
“Jah, of course. I’ll pack enough bottles and clothes for a few nights, and Caleb will take her mattress so she’ll have a familiar place to sleep.” Sarah and Caleb dashed upstairs and returned to the kitchen with the mattress and a box and bag stuffed with Leah’s things. Caleb carried it all out to the buggy.
Sarah bustled over to the downstairs crib, picked up Leah, her eyes big and round with puzzlement, and snuggled the tyke close.
Leah puckered up to cry. “Shh, little one,” Sarah cooed softly until Leah settled back in the crook of her arm and closed her eyes. “She’ll be fine.” Sarah was still crooning to her when she disappeared out the door and Caleb latched it closed.
Silence filled the room as May stared at the door.
Thad noticed May shift on her chair and a pained expression crossed her face, but not like the one when she fell. This look, he imagined, was more about separation anxiety from Leah. He turned toward the window as a lump lodged in his throat and watched the buggy pull out of the drive, ne
arly colliding with the SUV that pulled in.
“Our ride is here.” He helped May get to her feet and wobble out to the SUV. He hadn’t wrapped his arms around May since they’d married. It felt strange as the swish of her skirt touched his leg when he tugged her close to give her support. Her warmth and the smell of strawberry shampoo evoked a memory tucked safely away. Until now.
Gott, don’t let me stumble. He had a plan to win May’s forgiveness, not just in words but also in her heart, and he didn’t want to ruin his chance.
Chapter Six
May held her breath. She squeezed Thad’s hand tightly as she slipped into the SUV and settled on the seat. She blew out a long sigh. “My arm is so sore I can barely move it, and I can’t step on my foot without excruciating pain. It’s so swollen. What am I going to do if I’m in a cast? How will I take care of Leah or myself?”
“Take it easy and don’t worry about all that. We’ll be there in a few minutes.” He tried to give her an encouraging look, but she could see he was worried, too.
The eighteen miles to Iowa City felt like it took hours. Each turn and sway of the vehicle caused pain to rip upward and over the top of her arm. She gasped and tried to watch the scenery passing by the window to take her mind off the trip. That didn’t work. Her mind kept replaying Leah leaving the haus with Sarah and Caleb. Loneliness crept into May’s heart knowing that little tyke wouldn’t be there to greet her when she got home.
Her left hand moved to her temple and massaged the throbbing pain that had started there when Leah left the haus. Sarah would take gut care of Leah. Of that May had no doubt. But she still was worried about her.
The SUV jerked to a stop at the emergency entrance of the hospital and May bumped into Thad. She groaned.
“Are you okay?” He wrinkled his brow, then tossed the driver a warning look.
The man looked back over his shoulder. “Sorry about that.”
Thad paid him, then helped May. She moaned and scooted to the edge of the seat, swung her legs around and pushed herself gently out of the SUV with her good arm, and gently eased into the waiting wheelchair that an attendant had pushed over to the vehicle.
The Amish Marriage Bargain (Love Inspired) Page 5
