The sharp October wind blew in his face as he carried her across the barnyard to the dawdi haus. The aroma of fresh brewed coffee was a pleasant welcome when he stepped into his parents’ kitchen.
“Mornin’.” His daed rushed to his side and grabbed Leah’s bag. “A raw day to be out and about.”
“Gut mornin’. I was wondering if Mamm could watch Leah for a bit while I work on some shelves in your workshop. May is at a frolic, and I volunteered to take care of Leah.”
“Sorry, but your mamm is sick in bed with the flu. Probably not a gut idea to have Leah here.”
“Sorry to hear that. Tell her I said to take care of herself.” Thad hurried out the door. The short walk back seemed longer with Leah fussing and squirming.
She reared up, coughing and crying, as he hurried into the haus. He set her down, and slipped her out of her coat. Her little body was sweaty and all her clothes clung to her. He wiped her off, changed her and gave her some juice. She spit up the juice and pushed the cup away. When she fell asleep, he laid her in her downstairs crib. She woke up and cried. He picked her up and rocked her until she fell back to sleep. Later when he checked, she was very warm to the touch. He paced the floor as a shiver of fear crawled over his heart.
At 3:00 p.m., Thad heard a buggy pull into the drive. He peered out the window, then raced out the door to help May. “Leah is sick. You go in, and I’ll unhitch Gumdrop.”
* * *
May gasped and sprinted to Leah’s crib. She laid a hand on her forehead and cheeks. They were burning.
Leah raised her head, her nose was running, but she smiled and held her arms out.
“Hullo, sweetie.” May lifted the boppli, wrapped her in a hug and kissed her cheek.
Leah’s breathing was wheezy and her chest rattled, but she snuggled close and laid her head on May’s shoulder.
She waited for Thad to get back to the haus. “She’s really sick. Call a driver. We need to take Leah to the hospital right away.”
By the time he returned, Leah was quiet, too quiet. Her cheeks were red and her eyes glassy. Everyone was bundled and ready when the car arrived.
May was grateful for the warmth when she slid across the seat of the car. Thad set Leah in the middle and strapped her in the car seat. His quick actions helped May relax. The eighteen miles to the hospital in Iowa City seemed endless as she prayed.
When the car stopped at the emergency room entrance, Thad jumped out of the car and ran around to help May. Gott answered one prayer, there was no one ahead of them at the hospital admittance. As quickly as possible, a nurse took them to an examining room.
A few moments later, the door opened and a tall man in a white coat entered. He shook hands with Thad, then May. “I’m Dr. Evans. I’m the pediatrician on call. You’re Mr. and Mrs. Hochstetler?”
Thad stepped forward. “Jah.”
Dr. Evans’s gaze jumped from Thad to May. “Tell me what’s going on with Leah?”
May filled him in while the doctor examined her.
He ordered X-rays and several other tests. Then he left the room. After a while, he came rushing back in the exam room. “She’s a very sick little girl. She has bacterial pneumonia. You’re Amish?”
May nodded. “Jah.”
“When Leah goes home, she needs to stay in the house as much as possible.”
“Okay, for how long?”
“Preferably the rest of the winter. We don’t want her catching pneumonia again.”
“She’s going to be all right then?” Relief washed over May.
“I’m admitting her for now. Her temperature is 103 degrees. She has an advanced infection. We need to monitor how she responds to the antibiotics. Has she ever been on antibiotics before?”
“Nein. No.”
After they settled Leah in a crib, May sat next to it and rubbed her back until she fell asleep. Tears filled May’s eyes. Thad pulled up a chair and wrapped an arm around her. She settled into his embrace and laid her head on his shoulder.
The rest of the day they stayed with Leah only taking turns when they stretched their legs and got something to eat.
Monday evening, Thad left the room and came back with two blankets. He wrapped one around May, and he curled up in the chair next to the window.
She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders as the tears slid down her cheeks. If anything happened to Leah, it was her fault. While Leah had been sick, she’d traipsed off to the quilting frolic. May had wanted some time away with her friends. Now this little girl was in the hospital fighting for her life. Thad never said a word, he wouldn’t. But her place was at home taking care of a sick kind.
Leah hadn’t moved a muscle in a long time, and her breathing was still labored. May stood and lightly laid her hand on the tiny back. Leah snuffled, moved her head back and forth but didn’t wake. She drew in a deep ragged breath.
May woke during the night and stood at Leah’s bed. She sounded a little better. Her sleep seemed more comfortable. Her cough sounded looser, and hopefully, the tightness in her chest was relaxing and the infection was starting to clear.
She needed to keep her promise to April and take care of Leah...and Thad.
Her sweet pumpkin still looked pale as a snowflake on a winter’s day. Beautiful and unique like Gott made all his creations, yet fragile as a flower to remind May that she needed Him. Needed His grace and forgiveness for all her sins and for forgetting about Him except at times like this. May’s heart swelled with the knowledge that Gott was beside her, helping her carry this burden.
When Thad took a walk, she pulled her Bible out of her quilted bag, turned to Psalms and read. She had faith that Leah would fight off this infection and would return home soon with her and Thad. They were a family now and May realized she needed to work with Thad more to make that feeling strong. It wasn’t her versus Thad. They had made the decision to marry and that was a lifetime commitment. She needed to honor that obligation. And if she would admit it to herself, the more time she spent with Thad, she felt safe and secure. By his side was the place she always wanted to be, beside him and Leah. Her family, a family that she never really had. Her mamm died young, her daed stayed busy, and she and April had differences. This was the first time she felt like she was really in a family.
* * *
Tuesday Morning, Thad woke and glanced at the clock on the hospital room wall. 5:00 a.m. He stretched and the aroma of coffee out in the hall awoke his mind and pried his eyes all the way open. Leah was quietly whimpering. She was probably hungry. He’d get a couple cups of coffee and tell the nurse.
May had finally drifted off to sleep. He’d woken during the night and heard her crying. She felt bad because she went to the frolic and blamed herself. He should have stayed home with Leah instead of dragging her over to his parents’ haus. Nein, it was just as much his fault. If that wasn’t bad enough, Mamm was sick and he’d exposed Leah to the flu.
Thad wiped away the moisture from his eyes. He opened the hospital room door a crack, squeezed through, got two cups of coffee and told the nurse—Dottie was her name—that Leah was waking up.
She nodded. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
When he went back to Leah’s room, May was awake and sitting up and watching her. He handed May the coffee. Dark circles were like half-moons beneath her eyes. Her mouth pressed tightly into a straight line, and a tear was rolling down her cheek.
“We need the nurse,” she whispered. “I’ve touched her cheek, and she’s very hot.”
“She’s coming.” He set his coffee down. “But I’ll make sure.” Before he reached the door, it opened and Dottie walked in.
She checked Leah and her fluids, took her temperature, and looked into her eyes and ears. Leah started to fuss. “I’m calling Dr. Evans,” Dottie said at last. “Her temperature is up to 104 degrees.” She rushed to the nurse’s desk,
leaving the door open. A minute later, she returned. “They’re going to page the doctor. He’s in the hospital making rounds.”
The few minutes they waited seemed like an eternity. Finally the doctor ran into the room. He looked Leah over and listened to her heart. He ordered the nurse to start a new IV with a different antibiotic. She got the new bag, hung it and fiddled with the lines.
Dr. Evans glanced at Thad and May. “She is not responding to this antibiotic. So we’re going to try something else.”
May threw her hand over her mouth as her body began to shake.
Thad wrapped both arms around her and held her tight. “Shh. Let the doctor work. Do you want to step out into the hall?”
“Nein,” she said through gritted teeth.
Thad pulled May back toward the window and whispered in her ear, “We need to pray to Gott. That’s how we must help the doctor and Leah.”
May nodded, and he knew she was doing everything she could to prevent herself from crying. He placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her to him. “Are you with me on this?”
“Jah.”
“Heavenly Father, You took April and Alvin from us, please do not take Leah, too. She is so innocent. Please fill the doctor with the right knowledge, give him swift hands and a sharp mind. Please heal Leah, Father. Amen.”
May stayed in Thad’s embrace. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and held her tight.
* * *
Wednesday morning, May pulled the Bible from her bag and turned to 1 John 4:8-20 and read the scripture. Gott is love...Gott is love. Hate has no part of Him.
She bowed her head. Gott, please forgive me for all the hateful thoughts I had toward April and Thad. I was jealous of April. I wanted what she had, but please don’t take my foolishness out on Leah. Please save her, Father. Please heal her, Father Gott. Please don’t take this little bit of sunshine from my life.
May prayed and cried until a calm settled in her heart.
Thad sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He whispered in her ear, “Jah, she will get well. Gott will bless this little girl who has lost so much.”
When Dr. Evans entered Leah’s room he asked the nurse to check Leah’s temperature first.
The nurse flashed the results at the doctor. He nodded.
“The fever has started to come down. Her breathing should start to improve. The nurses’ station has my number, and I’ll stop back later to see how she’s doing.”
Thad nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Evans.”
May tiptoed to the side of Leah’s bed, and Thad stood by her side. Watching. Praying. And thanking Gott.
The rest of the day was a long one. May sat by Leah’s bed for hours, staring at her. Drinking in her tiny face. Watching the movement of her fingers opening and closing as she slept, like she was grasping for something.
May rested her head in her hands and cried. If anything happened to Leah, it was her fault.
Thad sat next to her, wrapped an arm around her and whispered, “May, stop. Leah will get better. You’re going to wake her. Let’s go for a little walk down the hall, jah?”
She shook her head. “Nein, I don’t want to leave her.”
His voice was firm. “For one minute. You need to get up and walk.”
“One minute,” she repeated.
Dr. Evans returned Wednesday evening and examined Leah. “The fever is definitely coming down. Her breathing has improved, and she’s started to respond to the new medication. She’ll sleep a lot, so don’t be alarmed at that. She needs the rest. It will help her body heal. I’ll check her in the morning.” He nodded to them and closed the door on the way out.
As soon as the doctor left, May felt Thad’s arm relax on her shoulders, and she heard him sigh. She’d been selfish. Thad kept giving her comfort while his heart was breaking for his little mädel. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. It seemed a vague attempt, but she was unsure how to comfort him.
Leah woke and smiled the minute she saw them. That frail little face warmed May. She picked her up and cuddled her warm body. After a few moments, she laid her back down in the crib.
“May, let’s go for a walk and let Leah sleep,” Thad suggested. “Or we could take turns and go on breaks to get food. Whichever you prefer.”
“Nein. I can’t leave Leah. She might need me.”
Thad nodded that he understood and told her he’d get some food for them, returning as soon as he could.
* * *
Thad stepped back in the room from one of his walks and gave Leah a kiss. “I talked to the nurse. She said there were showers downstairs. If you wanted to freshen up.”
May didn’t take her eyes off Leah. “Jah, datt is gut. But I don’t want to leave Leah just yet.”
“I know.” Thad leaned over and gave May a kiss on the forehead.
She didn’t pull back. She might have almost liked it.
Early Thursday morning, Thad touched her on the shoulder. May opened her eyes to see him hovering over her. She glanced at the clock. She’d only slept a couple of hours. “Is something wrong with Leah?”
“Nein. The nurse said Leah’s fever is down a little more and her breathing is much better. I have called a driver. He will take me home. I’ll freshen up and bring you back clean clothes. Okay?”
“Jah, but don’t be long.”
Thad walked toward the door, turned and glanced over his shoulder. He winked as he closed the door. She tried to suppress a smile. Her heart raced at the little exchange and warmth flushed her cheeks. Did he just flirt with her?
When she glanced back at Leah, reality pinched her. Leah was April and Thad’s boppli, not hers.
Why was it she could never get beyond that fact?
* * *
An hour after he left the hospital, Thad returned to Leah’s hospital room. He walked to her crib, leaned down and kissed her head.
May tiptoed up behind him.
Thad wrapped his arm around her. “She’s going to be fine. Leah is getting better hour by hour, and she’s resting comfortably. Now you need to get some rest.”
May stepped closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. The touch of her hand rubbing his back was soothing. He felt like he could handle anything with her by his side.
He drew in a deep breath to slow his racing heart. Leah was resting. The color had started to return to her cheeks.
Still, if anything had happened to Leah, he never would have forgiven himself.
Gott, please forgive me. I am sorry for the burden this has placed on May. She feels responsible for Leah and me. Nein. May has been hurt enough. None of this is her fault. He raised his arm and wiped his shirtsleeve over his face.
“Thad? Thad? Are you all right?” May’s voice grew louder.
“I’m fine.” He reached over and folded May’s hand in his, squeezing tight. His heart thumped so loud he was afraid she could hear. The more time he spent with May, the more he never wanted to leave her side.
She was his now, and he never wanted to let her go.
Chapter Seventeen
Five days later, Leah was finally home from the hospital and in her own crib. May smiled as she closed her pumpkin’s bedroom door. She was still sleeping a lot, but the doctor said that was normal and essential for gaining her health back completely. May tiptoed down the stairs and started making breakfast.
Ten minutes later, Thad entered the kitchen. “Mmm, the bacon and eggs smell gut.” He went straight for the table and sat down.
“Gut morning,” May chirped. “You’re a sleepyhead.”
“With Leah safely home, I slept hard, awoke a new person, and thanked Gott for her recovery and that we’re all together.”
“Jah, feels gut to be home, but I was at the hospital so long and in a state of panic over Leah that I still feel anxious.” And not just ov
er Leah, but Thad. They had grown close in the hospital. How should she respond to him now?
“Are you still worried about Leah?” Thad asked.
“I’m heartbroken I didn’t recognize the symptoms until they got so bad.”
“Don’t blame yourself. You’re a first-time mamm and this was her first sickness. Anyone could have missed those signs. It came on all of a sudden.”
“So you are not going to take any responsibility?” she huffed.
He jerked his head. “I...I didn’t mean it like that. All I meant is, now we know more of what to look for when she has a sniffle. Check for a fever and listen to her breathing. We are both new parents, jah?”
May waved her hand in the air. “Never mind what I just said. You’re right. I didn’t mean any of that. It’s as much my fault as any. I just felt like a failure that I went to that frolic, and I struck out at you.”
“I know.” His voice was sympathetic. “We’ll both calm down and get our child-rearing confidence back in a few days.”
While she cleared the table, he put on his coat and hat. “Later today, I’ve got a dairy association meeting. But I’ll be in before I go. This meeting could take a while.”
He strolled across the kitchen to the sink and stood next to May. He put a warm hand on her back. “We both need to forgive ourselves about not noticing earlier how sick she was.” He slid his arm around her, leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
She could feel his closeness and hoped he couldn’t hear her heart beating like an old windup clock. How could that be happening? How could her head know that he was completely wrong for her, yet her heart fluttered whenever he walked within six feet of her and looked forward to when he would come in at noon?
* * *
May couldn’t wait for Thad to come in for lunch. She’d made his favorite, yumazuti, a goulash-type dish, with cherry pie for dessert. He deserved it for staying by her side when Leah was sick.
The Amish Marriage Bargain (Love Inspired) Page 14
