by P. Jameson
“No.” And not even if he tickled her. He’d see.
“Well, then… you leave me no choice.”
He attacked her ribs, knowing it was where she was most ticklish. One squeal was all that escaped before her breath was stolen. He was relentless, moving his attack upward until he was under her arms. She jerked against his hold, but he was too strong.
Diz laughed at her efforts, clearly enjoying his control over her.
“Stop! Stop!” she wheezed, and finally he relented, but his hold on her wrists didn’t loosen.
“Stop?” He grinned down at her, his lips so close she could see exactly how soft they were. “Are you going to reveal your secrets?”
“No, but—”
He didn’t wait for the rest of her answer. Instead, he went for her belly, pushing her shirt up so he could wiggle his fingers directly against her skin. She giggled uncontrollably even while howling for him to quit.
But he wouldn’t. And she wouldn’t give in. They were at an impasse.
He eased back to stare at her, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Now?”
“No.” He started to go back in. “But if you tickle me again, I swear I’m going to—”
She didn’t finish her threat because something even more shocking than a rib attack stopped her.
It happened so quick, she had no warning.
Diz pressed his full lips firmly to hers, kissing like they were in a dream and there’d be no consequences. Like they were meant to kiss. As if they’d done it every day since meeting. As though it was natural.
It must have been a fleeting moment, but for her, time stood still. Her heart didn’t beat. Her brain didn’t think. Her body didn’t move. There was just the magic of finally sharing this closeness with him.
And the fear of what it would mean for the future.
As if the thought had traveled from her brain, through their linked lips, and into his, Diz jerked back, releasing her hands so fast, her mind reeled from the disconnect.
“Shit. Shit, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s…” She sat up as much as she could, trying to clear the emotion from her throat. “It’s okay,” she managed in a whisper.
“No, it’s not.” He stood abruptly, and Destiny scrambled to pull her shirt down. “Tell me what you saw at dinner,” he demanded.
He kept his back to her, his shoulders rising and falling with his labored breaths. She stood, wanting to be on more even ground with him.
“I saw part of my future.”
“But not your mate?”
“No.”
“What then?”
She hesitated. He still couldn’t look at her. He’d kissed her but obviously he considered it a grievous mistake. In all their time together he’d never been so short with her.
“I saw my… purpose.”
He turned to peer at her over his shoulder. “Your purpose?”
Destiny nodded. “What I’m meant to do in life.”
“And what is it?”
“I’d rather not say.”
His shoulders sagged and he stared at the floor. “Does it involve you remaining here? With this pack?”
“Yes.”
He nodded to himself, seeming to relax. “Okay. Okay, fine.”
Diz started for the door.
“Wait,” she said. “Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“You said you wanted to talk. Shouldn’t we do that?” She couldn’t let him leave with the kiss between them. Wonderful as it was, she couldn’t help feeling like it was a thorn. Not to mention, she was confused as hell. Why had he done it?
“We’re okay, Dessy,” he said, still avoiding her gaze.
“Shouldn’t we talk about… what just happened?”
A small laugh slipped from his lips. “That was nothing. Just my wolf acting crazy. I told you, I need my mate.”
“Oh.” She swallowed hard, forcing her voice to sound casual. “Nothing. Yeah, you’re right. Maybe I can, uh, try again to see who she is.”
He finally met her gaze. “You’d do that? Try again?”
“Yeah. Of course. Whatever you need.” She was nodding too much, but it was either that or cry over something as stupid as fate.
Diz smiled genuinely. “You’re a good friend, Dessy. Thank you.”
He came forward, sweeping her into a hug. One like he’d done a million times. It wasn’t intimate in the least, and it helped.
She took a deep breath. “No problem.”
And it wasn’t. Not really. Because…
What good are tears cried over things that can’t be changed? As good as words spoken over an unkept promise. Useless.
Chapter Four
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
It was nothing, really. Dessy would find his mate soon. Or hell, maybe he’d go looking for her, just to make this shit stop. Whatever needed to be done.
But then, leaving Destiny alone to be a third wheel by herself wasn’t something he wanted either.
Diz paced his apartment, looking for something to clean, but everything was spotless. The downside of being a neat freak. He could go running, but he was worried about bumping into Destiny. She said she’d try to see his mate again, and he wanted to give her space to concentrate. If he stayed in his cramped place, he’d start dwelling on things he shouldn’t dwell on.
Like his best friend’s lips.
His best damn friend. She was his best friend. Absolutely no thinking about how soft her lips were.
Yeah, he had to get out of there.
He grabbed his leather jacket from the hook by the door and booked it down the steps to the garage. His racecar was parked at the end and he wasted no time starting it up and pulling onto the path that led to the practice track.
The events of the day before had weighed heavily on him. He’d worked in the garage, taking every job he could to busy his mind, but it hadn’t helped much. Maybe a few laps around the track would clear his head.
By the time he’d rumbled his way to the track, the sun was almost gone behind the jagged horizon of trees. But when he arrived, he wasn’t the only one looking to take advantage of the fading light to get a few turns in.
Drake crouched next to his car, fiddling with something near the tire. Diz parked next to him and got out.
“Hey man,” Drake said, standing and wiping his hands on a rag.
“‘Sup?”
“Just thought I’d play around a little before dark. Punk, um, asked that we not race at night because it keeps Artie awake.”
Diz arched one eyebrow. “Asked?”
“Well… asked might be a slight exaggeration.”
“She put her foot down, didn’t she?”
Drake stared into the sunset, pursing his lips in a slight scowl. “Yeah, okay, I’m an honest man so… yeah, she told me how it was going to be and I decided it was best not to argue. Do you blame me?”
Diz laughed, and it was a nice feeling to temporarily forget about his own worries.
“How’s Ella? She still giving you grief?”
Drake nodded slowly, grinning. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. But yeah. She’s a little grumpy because she wanted a mating ceremony before the young pops out.”
Ah, yes. The mating ceremony they couldn’t have. It was the giant elephant among them. In a normal wolf pack situation, Elders existed. Wise shifters who helped guide the pack under the alpha. They conducted the mating ceremony where the male was marked by a brand of their choosing to signify their commitment to their female.
Females were marked in the mating bed. Males, before the pack. It was a beautiful damn thing. But because DTD was a ragtag pack of misfits, they had no Elders to speak of, and none of their males had been marked.
“That’s not your fault though,” Diz said.
“Yeah? Try telling that to my beautiful pregnant mate who will only let me sleep on one eighth of the bed. Like an actual damn dog, I tell you.”
Diz laughed, tipping his
head back. “So pregnant sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?”
“Oh, I didn’t say that. Be ready, because after those first four months it’s horny-time all. Fucking. Day. And night.” Drake froze, his gaze slowly lowering to his pants where a tent was growing. “Well, shit.”
Diz snickered at his alpha’s expression.
“What? She’s growing a baby. She needs extra baby juice or whatever.”
Diz lost it. “Baby juice?” He doubled over, holding his gut as he chuckled. Baby juice. Shit, that was funny.
“Aw, yeah. You laugh now. You just wait. Your time to bend to a female is coming, I promise. And when it does, you’re going to bend all the way fucking backwards. You’ll see.”
Diz shook his head, sobering. “Shit, I’ve heard that for a while now. So far, you’ve all been wrong.”
“Patience sucks ass, huh?”
Diz sighed. “Indeed, my friend.”
Drake pinned him with one of those alpha looks. The ones that preceded a subject that had been on his mind for a while, and usually something he thought was a concern to the pack.
“What about Destiny?”
“What about her?”
Drake narrowed his eyes. “Don’t do that. You know damn well what I mean.”
Diz looked away. “She isn’t mine. You know that.” The words came from his mouth, but they didn’t sound right. Especially when his wolf bucked against them.
“So... maybe what I’m thinking is, it doesn’t matter.”
Diz scowled at his alpha. “Of course it matters.”
Drake shrugged. “It worked for Surge and Tana. Your intended isn’t always the one you’re meant to end up with. They proved that.”
Diz laughed humorlessly. “That was an entirely different situation. His mate was dead. Mine is out there somewhere, waiting for me.”
“Maybe.”
“What do you mean, maybe?”
Drake crossed his arms, leaning against his car. “Maybe she’s out there waiting for you. Maybe she’s not.”
Diz was quiet.
“Maybe she’s already mated someone else. Maybe she doesn’t want a mate. Maybe she doesn’t care one fuck. You don’t know.”
Strangely, the idea didn’t leave him ill like when he’d thought about Dessy mating another.
“You think?” Diz asked, his wolf reacting so oddly, he couldn’t make sense of it.
Drake looked surprised. “That doesn’t bother you?”
Diz frowned. “Of course it does.” It did. But more because it should bother him than because it did.
“Well, you know… Destiny’s mate could come for her any time,” Drake mused.
“I’m aware,” Diz ground out.
“But whether she ends up with him or not is her choice.”
“Yes.” Diz clenched his jaw to keep from cursing Drake to hell.
“She could very well decide to mate another.”
Diz quickly grew impatient with his alpha’s roundabout way. “What’s your point?”
Drake smirked. “My point is you’re pissed off over her, but not over your intended.”
But it would be different when he actually met his intended. The way he felt would change. What he felt for Dessy would pale in comparison to what he felt for his intended. It was the werewolf way. His animal would seek to secure his intended at the cost of everything else. So while he might care more about Destiny now, he wouldn’t necessarily in the future.
It was a dismal thought. And why he had to be very careful with her.
Diz shook his head, avoiding Drake’s intense gaze.
“You could have her, you asshole.”
“I know,” Diz snapped.
He could break their code of friendship and have an affair with Dessy. But then what? They weren’t fated. She’d move on, or he would, and then what would be the fucking point.
He wasn’t looking for an affair; he was looking for a mate.
And worse, what would become of them when it was all over?
“You wouldn’t risk something like this,” he spat at his alpha.
“Like what? Being happy with someone I cared about?”
“Someone who wasn’t your mate.”
Drake nodded. “Look, I get it. You want to wait for your intended. Thing is, it could be years, decades before she’s ready for mating. In the meantime, you and Destiny are miserable, the way you both pretend you don’t want each other.”
Diz glared. “So, what? Are you suggesting friends with benefits? I can’t do that to her. What happens when I find my mate? Huh? Do I just say, sorry babe, but I found my real lover now, nice fucking you for a while though.”
“See, that’s the problem.” Drake jabbed a finger in Diz’s chest, causing his wolf to snarl. “It’s not about fucking. You’re afraid you’ll have feelings for her. Love her, even. Maybe you already do. Who the fuck knows. But one thing’s for sure, you’re not being honest with yourself.”
Shit.
Diz’s animal didn’t want to bow to the alpha’s on this. He wanted to prove him wrong. He wasn’t hiding his head in the sand like some pussy bird. He was protecting someone he cared about. Someone he was meant to protect. Even if it was from himself.
Diz forced his jaw to loosen. Fucking hell, he was worked up. Hadn’t been this angry since his younger days when he depended on alcohol to keep him level. “It doesn’t matter. I know Dessy. Something like that would break her heart.”
“Maybe,” Drake spoke calmly, seeing Diz was close to snapping. “Maybe not. Maybe she’s looking for the same damn distraction you are.”
That was the thing his alpha didn’t understand. Dessy could never be that. Because Diz wasn’t looking for a distraction.
But… maybe she was.
He knew her dream of finding a loving mate. Maybe she ached as much as he did and just wanted someone to make the time pass faster. Did she need him to be that for her? Could he be that for her? Could he make things easier for Dessy without letting feelings get in the way?
He slapped his palm on the top of Drake’s car.
What the hell was he thinking? She didn’t want a quick romp in the hay with her friend. She hadn’t responded well to his accidental kiss. ‘Course neither did he, but still. The idea was ludicrous. If she wanted him like that, he’d know it.
“Came here to clear my mind, and all you’ve done is muddy it all up.”
Drake smirked, puffing his chest out and staring pointedly at his racecar. “I am pretty good at muddying things.”
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for nothing. Alpha.”
Drake laughed, even though nothing was funny. He slapped Diz on the shoulder, shaking him good-naturedly. “You’ll figure it out, man. You’re tough shit. Always have been. The dark horse no one expects to be so strong.”
Would it matter how tough he was if he screwed things up with Destiny? Because if he was honest with himself, Drake was right. It wasn’t only her heart he was worried about.
Chapter Five
Destiny closed her eyes, sinking beneath the surface of the water once more. The sun wasn’t quite gone yet, but this far into the forest, it might as well be night. She’d spent most of her free time at the creek ever since she’d promised to seek out Diz’s mate. The faster they learned who she was, the better.
Well, better was a relative term.
Things would be better in that she could quit wondering when the female was going to come and take him away.
Better like that. But seeing his mate wasn’t really going to fix anything for Destiny.
But… so what? There were worse things than being lonely. She could be completely on her own, without a pack at all. Or she could be like so many of her former clan. Dead.
Her memories were gruesome. The bear shifters of Colorado were highly feared. Especially among the small animal clans like the bobcats and foxes. The bears’ bully mentality caused a lot of problems for the more peaceable clans. If you had something they wanted, they took it with
out asking and with no repercussions. By blood.
She broke the surface for air, a snarl ripping from her throat.
This was useless. She’d seen nothing but nothing. The actual black water instead of the future. And no damn fortune cookie wisdom either.
But doing this was a heck of a lot better than facing Diz right now.
She’d spent the last two days locking up her feelings for him and reminding herself how ridiculous they were. To fall for your best friend was the oldest torture in the book. How could she have let herself do it?
She took a deep breath and focused again, forcing the thoughts to the back of her mind. Thinking only of the water and Diz’s future, she spread her fingers until her palms pressed against the choppy surface.
Focus, focus. Who is she?
A splash to her right broke her concentration, and she looked up just in time to see another tiny pebble land on her left.
“Hey, Dessy.” Diz grinned at her from one side of his mouth.
He stood on the boulder above her, shuffling a handful of pebbles at his hip. He wore those jeans that made her feel a little hotter in his pressence. The dark ones with holes in the thighs. A tight black t-shirt that hugged his muscled shoulders. And his work boots that made him look like a piece of hardworking man-candy.
“You broke my focus,” she complained, scowling.
He raised an eyebrow and tossed in another pebble, this one closer to hitting her.
She sighed, not wanting to play this time. “What do you want, Diz?”
He stared at her, eyes narrowed, but he didn’t answer.
She lowered herself under the water again just to avoid looking at him. When her oxygen had depleted, she came back up to find him exactly as she’d left him.
“Movie night. Your place,” he suggested.
No. Not that.
Not now. She’d have to sit there with him, smelling his spicy woodsy scent that reminded her of her mountain home, and remembering what it felt like to have her lips against his.
“Not tonight,” she murmured.
He froze like her answer surprised him. “No movie night? We can watch that funny one you’ve been wanting to see.”
She shook her head, running through excuses. “I have an early morning, and I’m tired. Still need to eat dinner, and… you know, this.” She gestured to the water.
