by P. Jameson
DTD was her pack. She was meant to be here. Her vision at Sunday dinner confirmed it. But maybe there was a place for her with the cats. Even just temporary, where she could clear her mind. Leaving Cedar Valley and Diz and… Grace… would be one of the hardest things she’d ever done. But it didn’t have to be forever. Just until she was solid. Until her heart belonged to her again.
“What are you thinking?” Tana asked, warning in her tone.
“I was thinking maybe a little time away might be what I need.”
Tana’s eyes went wide. “Leaving? You want to leave DTD and your family?”
“No! I don’t. It’s just, it might be necessary. I don’t know, okay?”
Tana held her hands up. “Okay, okay. Let’s just… take a breather, yeah? Let’s channel Ella. Breathe with me. In… and out. In… and out.”
Destiny humored her, because yes, the events of this past week had her scrambling for options to make it all better. Even if none of them were ideal.
Ten seconds later, Tana let her stop.
“Look, we can talk to Magic if you want, and see if he has a place for you over there. Just promise me, swear to me, it would only be temporary.”
Did she really want to do this? Leave, for only a little while?
But it wasn’t a matter of want. It was a matter of what was best for the pack. Being at odds with Diz would throw them all out of balance. And she needed to get her head straight so she could fulfill her duties to DTD when the time came.
She nodded.
Tana sighed. “Okay then. I’ll call Owyn and have him talk to Magic.”
Yes, a temporary break was what she needed. Now if she could just figure out how to avoid Diz until it was time to leave.
Chapter Seven
Diz revved his engine behind the pace car, itching to get the race back online. He was fucking killing it on the oval tonight. Apparently, frustration was an excellent motivator when it came to fast driving.
Dessy had avoided him for three days. Three motherfucking miserable damn days. And he felt like he could explode with all the emotions that toiled within him. If he was honest, he was fucking scared. She’d never been like this before. Never. Not when he’d borrowed her car without asking. Not when he was an asshole about what movie they should watch. Or when he told her he’d never let her drive his race car.
All his calls and texts went unanswered. When he’d dropped by her place, she’d pretended to be asleep. He stopped to see her at work, but she was in a meeting. He’d spent most evenings at the creek hoping she’d return to the scene of the fucking crime—since she seemed to consider what had happened there one—but she was a no show.
Tonight he’d hoped to catch her at the speedway. She hadn’t missed a race since joining the pack, so it should’ve been a sure fucking thing. But no. She only proved she’d go to immeasurable lengths to avoid him.
Well, fine. But when he did find her…
Finally the pace car left the track, and Diz gunned it, pulling out ahead of Drake and several other cars to take the lead. This one was his to win whether his Dessy was there to watch or not. And when she came out of hiding, he was going to have her beneath him so fast her pretty little head would spin.
He growled, pressing forward until he was a whole car-length ahead of his closest competitor, and then he turned into the curve. His rear wheels slid while his front struggled for traction, spitting dirt into the air. Taking the corner so fast cost him a little, and Drake took the inside to gain the lead.
“Ohhh no you don’t, Alpha.”
Diz stayed on Drake’s flank, waiting for him to make the same mistake he had on the next turn. But the wolf was smarter than that, and when they came out of the curve, they were neck and neck.
A thrill of adrenaline lit him up like a lightning strike. This was what racing was all about. The competition. The family. The emotional high. Even the smell of racing fuel excited him. Win or lose, there was really only ever winning when you were on the track. How could you lose when you were living it up with friends?
They were coming up on the end. It would be him or Drake.
Diz pushed his accelerator to the floor, forcing more from his car. And she submitted, that power over her going straight to his head. Both of them.
Dessy.
He was going to win this fucking race, and then he was going to find her. They were going to talk whether she wanted to or not. They were going to lay everything out in the open, and then she would be his.
Not his completely. She couldn’t be that. Fate wouldn’t allow it. But she’d be his for now. For as long as they had.
For forever.
He shoved the thought from his mind, angry all over again that he couldn’t have what he wanted because of stupid fate and her stupid laws.
His car lurched forward, seemingly powered by his anger, and he urged it on, bleeding emotion into the atmosphere like rancid exhaust.
As he crossed the finish line first, he let the euphoria take him out of his dilemma. Winning always reminded him of sex. It felt damn good and made you forget your problems for a little while. It was a good substitute for all these years of celibacy. It was good for helping him wait for that special female that would be his for life. The one he’d spend his life with.
But now… now he was done waiting. He’d found the female he wanted. And she wasn’t the one and he wouldn’t spend the rest of his life with her, but she was more special to him than he could ever express.
He pulled his car into the zone and climbed out.
“Wooooooooooo, boy!” Surge bellowed, clapping him hard on the back. “You spanked that track like she was sexy little female begging for it. Daaaaaaamn.”
Diz pulled off his helmet, frowning at his friend.
Surge cleared his throat. “Sorry, it just sorta came out. Tana won’t let me spank her. We’re uh, negotiating.”
Diz raised an eyebrow, debating whether he should tell Surge his mate was standing right behind him. With her arms crossed. And a really scary look on her face.
“She’s right behind me, isn’t she?”
Diz nodded.
Surge turned to her with his megawatt grin. “Hey, kitty cat.”
“Don’t kitty cat me.”
He grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close while she remained frowning. “Aw, now, baby. I was just telling Diz congrat—”
“I heard. Negotiating, huh?”
He pushed his hips into hers and her angry façade faltered a bit. “But baby,” Surge said low, “I can’t help it. My mind just goes there all the fucking time with you. Three years and I’m still all twisted up. That’s what you do. Feel me?”
Dear god. Diz resisted the urge to press his hands to his ears and chant, lah lah lah. He interrupted instead.
“Hey, I need a favor.”
Surge looked up from his mate, glassy-eyed. “Sure thing, bro. What is it?”
“Can you and the boys take care of my car?”
He didn’t want to waste time scraping and moving it. He wanted to find Dessy now. She’d be expecting him to stay gone much later. He was counting on the element of surprise, because he wasn’t going one more night without seeing her.
End of fucking story.
***
Destiny turned off the shower, disappointed in how the night had progressed. She’d taken advantage of everyone being gone to the races, and spent most of the evening in the creek hoping for a vision.
It was a big fat nothing.
She’d decided on a long, hot shower afterwards, telling herself it wasn’t for more water contact. But it was. And it was just as fruitless as her time at the river.
Her visions were something she’d spent a lot of time avoiding, but now, she’d welcome one with open arms. Anything so she could stop dodging Diz. If she had news for him, it’d be easy to face him again.
She stepped from the shower, wrapping a towel around her body and using another one on her long hair. She drew in a deep, calm
ing breath, but shook like crazy on the exhale. Her nerves were shot. It wasn’t good to be this uptight.
That was one thing Diz had taught her.
In the beginning she’d been afraid of every gust of wind. Every growl or sudden movement. As Tana implied, she’d been an embarrassment to her kind. But that was just residual from all the crap she’d lived through. Over time, Diz had brought out the real her. The feisty her. The smart her.
Smart. Yeah, she wasn’t sure what the smart move was anymore.
Sighing, she went to the bedroom and pulled on some cotton sleep shorts and a t-shirt. It would be another early bedtime tonight. She needed to be asleep before Diz was done at the tracks. Walking to the kitchen for a glass of water, she came screeching to a halt when she reached the living room.
Diz sat lounging on her couch, one muscled arm draped casually over the back. He looked freshly showered, and she could smell his intoxicating scent from all the way across the room. His eyes never left her face, and she saw a messy tangle of emotion in his gaze. Picking out a single one was impossible.
Moving slowly, he peeled himself off the couch to stand, and still, he held her captive with those eyes.
“Hi, Dessy.” His voice was husky and dark, curling around her like a favorite blanket.
“Hi.” She cleared her throat, needing her voice to be strong for her. “I don’t have any news for you.”
His eyes narrowed, falling slowly to her chest and lingering. Then lower, to her hips, before sliding down her legs and back up. She fidgeted under his perusal, her hand fluttering to her stomach as he stepped closer.
“I don’t want to hear another fucking word about my mate. I’m not here for that. I’m here for you.”
A fire built in her chest at his words. It was a flicker of hope. A tiny spark, but it was warm as a slow burning ember.
He moved so carefully, coming to stand in front of her. He lifted his hand to her cheek, brushing his thumb over her skin. His eyes squeezed closed for a moment, cutting off all those swirling emotions, before he found hers again.
“I missed you,” he murmured. “Did you miss me too?”
“Yes,” she gasped. Dear god, she’d missed him like crazy. More than she wanted to admit. She’d ached for him. For just their banter. Their talks. Their running through the woods.
He moved to cradle her cheeks with both hands, trapping her in place, but she didn’t feel panic. She felt hypnotized by him, by the way he looked at her with so much desire. It was like a dream.
“You ran away from me, Dessy. Why?”
“Because I couldn’t control myself,” she admitted. “Couldn’t explain myself. And I couldn’t risk losing you as my friend.”
The warmth from his body made the heat in her chest burst into flames. But he frowned, deep lines creasing his forehead.
“You’re scared,” he said. “I smell it. Why are you scared of me?”
She shook her head and he let go of her face.
“Not of you. Of…” God, it was hard to say out loud. “Losing you.”
His expression eased and he wound an arm around her waist causing her heart to pound in her chest like a furious metronome. “Lose me? That will never, fucking ever, happen, Dessy.”
She bit her lip to keep a whimper in.
He didn’t mean it. If he was thinking right, he wouldn’t have said it. Because truth was truth, and when his mate was in the picture, Destiny would lose him. Or at least a big part of him.
Unless… unless he’d already thought of that. Maybe that’s what he was trying to tell her. Did… did he want her like that?
Her throat ached with the possibilities. Could he feel that much for her that he’d choose her over his intended? The wolves felt so strongly about their mates, it seemed like a far out idea. But maybe…
His thumb swept across her bottom lip while his eyes locked onto her mouth. “Dreamed about these lips,” he murmured. “A fucking nightmare and sweet dream all at once. Torture because I couldn’t have them. I’m going to have them now.”
That was all the warning he gave before he dove for her mouth, capturing it and pressing his tongue inside. It wasn’t like their first kiss. It felt like a claiming. Beautiful and brutal and altering. Diz tasted like heat and desperation—he tasted like she felt. Hot and desperate. For assurance. A guarantee that his words were true. That she’d never lose him.
His hands gripped her hips, pushing his hard erection into her, and she gasped at the contact, his mouth swallowing the sound.
He wanted her. Badly. But for how long?
Damn it, how would she survive this when he pulled away? How would she put herself back together when he walked out the door?
His hand kneaded her hip, his thumb sliding under the hem of her shirt to caress the skin there. She burned hotter with every thrust of his tongue, every brush of his touch.
Her scent exploded in the room, her tiny shorts doing little to cover it, but it wouldn’t matter if her lower half was buried in a mountain of snow. He’d imprinted her scent. She’d never be able to hide it from him again.
Diz broke their kiss, sucking seductively on her lower lip, and then bent his head to inhale deep.
“How long, Dessy?” he whispered against her neck. “How long have you wanted me?”
She couldn’t lie. Couldn’t lie to Diz.
“The whole time,” she breathed the truth into the air, and her stomach clenched at the bare vulnerability of her heart in that moment.
“The whole time.” He lifted his gaze to stare into her eyes.
“Yes,” she whispered.
Suddenly, he urged her backward, pressing her against the wall, trapping her between it and his hard body. She gasped as his palm traveled up her ribs to curve around her breast. When he squeezed, she couldn’t hold in her moan. Diz touching her so intimately felt like heaven.
When he spoke, his tone was a sultry growl. “Do you know how many times I’ve had to hide my cock from you because it was hard as fucking granite? Do you have any idea how I’ve denied myself the pleasure of touching you because I thought you were oblivious to me. Because I didn’t want to face a one-sided attraction. Because I didn’t want to make things hard for you, and I was content to have you as my most precious friend. But no more. We deserve this, Dessy, this beautiful fucking thing, whether it’s fated or not. We deserve to feel this pleasure. We deserve to have what we want.” He paused to kiss along her jaw. “I want you. You want me. It’s simple.”
Oh, how she wished it was.
“Diz,” she moaned. “Your mate…”
“No,” he boomed. “There’s no room for her here with us. It’s just me and you, and that’s how I want it. Me and you, Dessy.”
“But…”
He bent, lifting her into his arms and holding her against his chest. She felt safe with him as he stalked to the bedroom. He’d made it clear, she was who he wanted.
Destiny let all her fears slip away. This was Diz. She trusted him. He’d never do this if he thought it’d hurt her. He was choosing her.
Lose me? That will never, fucking ever, happen…
Happy tears pricked her eyes. Her dreams were coming true. A loving mate, and it was her Diz after all. This was why she hadn’t been able to see his mate. Because whoever she was, she didn’t matter. Diz was choosing love over fate.
She gripped his shoulders, curling her face into his strong neck, kissing the skin there like she’d always wanted to. A possessive sound rumbled from him, and Destiny gave her heart over to him completely.
This was happening. This was really happening.
Chapter Eight
Her scent was driving him insane. Especially now that it was no longer tinged with fear. All he wanted was to connect with her in the most primal way. Prove to himself, and to her that they were okay. That they would always be okay, no matter where life brought them.
Carefully, he set her on the bed and stood back to take it all in. Her dark hair and pale skin set aga
inst the white comforter made his blood absolutely molten. She looked like an unassuming angel. In the light, he could see straight through the fabric covering her tight nipples and the tiny dark triangle at the juncture of her thighs. There was nothing between him and her naked body except her tiny t-shirt and shorts.
She smiled at him, this shy little thing that made his heart roll over and play dead.
Without a word, he peeled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. Then he started at her feet. He was going to worship every inch of her delectable body.
Mine.
Not mine.
He and his wolf were at war. Diz squeezed his eyes closed, determined not to fuck this up with her. He wanted this more than anything, and he would let nothing stop him.
Kissing and nibbling his way up her legs, he was aware of the noises she made. Moaning and groaning and hissing at what his mouth did to her. At her hips, he tucked his nose into the crease between her thighs and took in her aroused scent. It was fucking dark and so seductive he could’ve come just from smelling her.
“Fuck,” he murmured, grinding his cock into the bed. “Dessy…”
He put his mouth on her, right over her scrap of shorts making her gasp so loud he almost pulled back. But he wouldn’t. Instead, he sucked and licked and nipped through the fabric earning a cry from her beautiful mouth.
Sliding his hands under her ass, he gripped her shorts and pulled them down, exposing her wet opening. And goddamn it, she was beautiful, glistening and soft and more than ready for him. He ducked his head for a quick taste, sweeping his tongue through her folds.
Fuuuuck.
No. Nope. There wouldn’t be anything quick about this. He wanted to live there between her legs.
“You like these shorts, Dessy?” he asked between vicious licks.
“Mmm?”
“‘Cause if you do, you better tell me now.”
