by Desiree Holt
Wade was right about the blindfold. Without sight, every other sense had been magnified, every feeling and response extreme. It allowed her to crawl inside her own head, blank out the surroundings and the people watching so nothing existed except Wade and her and the very exquisite sexual torture.
The sound of her cell phone interrupted her reverie.
“I’m not calling too early, am I?” Mickey Sandoval asked.
She laughed. “We start the day early on a ranch, Mickey.”
“Does that mean you’re out punching cows or whatever it is people do on a ranch?”
“One of these days I’ll get you out here and you’ll see what really goes on,” she retorted.
“Speaking of that, I have something I need to discuss with you, and I don’t want to do it over the phone.”
Her stomach knotted. “That doesn’t sound too good. Does that mean you really haven’t found a way to help me out here?”
“No, that’s not it. We just have some…let’s call them challenges to address first.”
“What kind of challenges?” she demanded. “I’m not good with guessing games, Mickey.”
“I really want to discuss it all with you in person, Zoe. You have some choices to make, and I want to present them to you face to face.”
“Mickey,” she began.
“Lunch,” he interrupted. “And we need to do it today.”
“Okay. I’ll drive into the city.”
“No,” he disagreed. “I don’t want to make you do that. I’ll come to you. Is there a restaurant there that serves decent food where we can talk quietly?”
“If you want privacy, come to the ranch.”
“Maybe later. I want to talk to you about this away from everyone there.”
Zoe paced. “You’re scaring me, Mickey.”
“Don’t be scared. Just be smart. And listen when we talk. Now where can we meet? Is there any place decent to eat out there?”
“Well.” She gave a weak chuckle. “We don’t have Ruth’s Chris Steak House, but we do have Dalton’s Cattle Company,” she teased.
“Yeah?” His voice had a cautious note to it. “Is that a place to eat or where you buy cows?”
“Cattle, Mick. And it’s a real live restaurant with carpet on the floor and paneling on the walls. I think I can hack it. How about twelve thirty?”
“No, let’s make it later. When the lunch crowd dies down.”
What on earth could he possibly have to tell her that was making him this cautious? “Are you sure you don’t want to just come out here?”
“No. Does one o’clock work for you?”
“See you then.”
Zoe disconnected the call, staring off toward the horizon, lost in thought. She couldn’t possibly imagine what Mickey had to say that was worse than the financial situation with the ranch unless it was to tell her she had no options. But then he’d have just told her straight out, wouldn’t he?
She also really wanted to talk to Wade. Things seemed so unsettled between them. But he hadn’t poked his head out of the house yet. Was he hiding from her? Wade Cameron didn’t seem like the type to hide from anyone. She’d have to find a way around that.
Meanwhile, she had a few things to do before meeting Mickey, including a long shower and attention to her very sore ass. With one last glance at the main house, she finished her coffee and headed inside.
****
Wade stood under a hot shower for a long time, letting the steam beat down on him.
What I really need is a cold shower. A long one.
Even this morning, his dick had woken him demanding attention. And not just from his hand, either. Its little brain was reminding him of Zoe Hampton’s gorgeous red ass, of the sexy stripes the little whip had made. Of her cries of pleasure even as she moaned in pain.
Of her total obedience in holding off her climax until he gave her permission for release.
Fuck! Just fuck!
Sleep had not come easily. He had lain in bed a long time, trying to sort out the maelstrom of feelings whirling inside him. For a man who prided himself on keeping his emotions under control, last night the floodgates of hell had opened up and nearly drowned him. And this morning, he was confronted with feelings he wished would go away.
Yes, Zoe Hampton had turned into a very sexy woman. Not a girl, a woman. Yes, he was drawn to her sexually, more than any other woman in a long time. Yes, the orgasm last night had nearly blown off the top of his head. And thoughts of what the future could hold—sexually—were what had him waking up with his dick harder than steel.
He’d tried everything to scare her off, but his hard-edged Dom personality only seemed to turn her on. She wasn’t the least bit frightened of him or what he represented, damn it. He’d never shown that aggressive side to women other than those he met at the club or he knew were in the lifestyle. He was a responsible Dom and scaring women wasn’t part of who he was.
But Zoe confounded him and awakened feelings he didn’t want to deal with. Too many disturbing things tugged at him. Her response last night had shocked the shit out of him and forced him, however unwillingly, to examine his feelings for her and the situation. For one thing, she was a neophyte in D/s. No matter how much she’d been turned on so far, how deep would she be willing to go? She would need training, and he wasn’t sure he wanted anyone else to assume that role.
But worst of all were the emotions she stirred up in him. He couldn’t afford feelings for her. Their lives were totally different. They wanted different things. They didn’t even live in the same state.
And he didn’t want to fall in love.
Not with anyone, but especially not with Zoe Hampton.
I have certainly fucked things up.
Because falling in love was exactly what was happening. It made him want to re-examine everything else about his life and everything he’d thought about Big Spur all these years, a very uncomfortable situation for him. As long as he could hate Max and Big Spur, he could shut everyone and everything else away and concentrate on the life he’d built for himself. Zoe not only nudged those doors open, she was kicking them down, and for the first time in his life, he wasn’t sure how to handle things.
Maybe it was time for some changes. Big question, though. Could he make them?
Realizing he couldn’t hide in the shower all day, he turned off the water and grabbed a big towel to dry himself. He would have to talk to her. There was no getting around it. Much as he didn’t want to, he’d end things right now and get on with his life.
No. That’s not what I want.
Regardless of what he wanted, he’d put things in motion that could destroy the fragile situation between them. Time to be honest with himself. Maybe time to quit running. If so, he had some important things to fix before he talked to Zoe again.
With the towel knotted at his waist, he found his cell phone in the bedroom and punched in the numbers for the first of what would be a series of unpleasant phone calls.
****
The owners of the Dalton Cattle Company had gone for understated elegance, not too fancy to put people off but high class enough that cowboys didn’t walk in with cow shit stuck to their boots. Mindful of the tone the meeting was likely to take, Zoe arrived early and snared a booth tucked into a corner.
They were indeed at the end of the lunch rush. Only a few of the high-backed booths and linen-covered tables were still filled with people. Men and women in both business and casual attire but all of them wearing the same aura—quiet power and self-assurance. The hum of conversation was low, even hushed.
“Perfect,” Mickey pronounced it when he arrived and the food arrived. When he forked a last piece of steak into his mouth, chewed carefully, and swallowed, he commented, “This is nice.”
Zoe laughed. “You say that with such astonishment. We’re really not savages out here, Mick, just ordinary cattle folk who like to have a nice place to eat out now and then.”
“And conduct the business of
the county, by the looks of it,” he remarked, looking around.
“I suppose. My dad always took me here for special occasions. We never operated in the power structure, like Max Cameron.” She swallowed the last of her meal and leaned back in the booth. “So we’ve had polite conversation, discussed my clients, and caught up on office gossip. Time to spit it out, Mickey. What really brought you out here?”
“As you know, I’ve been trying to put a deal together for you to hold onto Big Spur.” He took a slow sip of coffee. “I can get you relief on the payment that’s due, but if you want to keep the ranch, I needed to look at how to deal with Wade Cameron.”
“The only thing I can think of is to buy him out,” she said. “But he’s so hell-bent on selling the place I’m sure he’d ask for an exorbitant amount. You know he’s been trying to break the will.”
Mickey nodded. “If he’s as hard-assed as you say, coming up with a number to satisfy him would be a challenge. Especially with what I discovered.”
Nausea crept up in her throat. “Discovered? Like what?”
“I thought if we could put a consortium together to buy his half, then you’d be able to set up a schedule to buy it back from them. But one of the men I met with told me he understood the entire ranch was for sale. That Cameron had already struck a deal with developers to build a high dollar community there.”
Zoe stared at him, stunned, unable to absorb what she heard.
“You have to be mistaken,” she protested. “Wade would never do that.”
But of course he would. He was determined to break the will, steal her half, and sell it all for a pot of money. He had no love for the place. Why should it matter to him? And what did it say for his ethics that he would do all this behind her back, not even offering her a chance to partner with him on it?
“There’s more,” Mickey went on. “The guy I talked to said the bank president here is going to be a partner and has assured the developers it’s all but a done deal.”
“How can he say that?” She gripped her water glass tightly. “I still have say over half of what happens.”
“Only until the note is due,” Mickey reminded her.
“Then I’ll borrow enough like you said to make the payment.”
“And then what, Zoe?” He looked at her with an expression so kind she wanted to weep. “You’d be looking at another thirty-day deadline, and another one after that. Is that really what you want to do?”
What she wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head, ashamed at what a fool and an idiot she had been. Alternatively, she could get Jonas’s shotgun and blast a hole in Wade for what he had done. For everything he had done. That is, if her hands would stop shaking enough to aim it.
“Zoe?” Mickey’s voice broke into her thoughts. “You okay?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not. But I’m going to be.” She was a fighter. She didn’t just sit back and take it. That was what made her so good at what she did. She dug into things with both hands. “I’m definitely going to be.”
“I just didn’t want you to be blindsided by this.”
Too late.
“I appreciate it. A lot.” She drained her water glass. “I’m going to take care of this, you can count on it.”
When the check came, she tried to take it from the waiter but Mickey was quicker. “My expense account’s bigger than yours,” he winked.
In the parking lot, he pulled her into a hug. “I’m here if you need me for anything,” he reminded her. “Anything at all.”
“Thanks, Mick, but I think I have to do this myself.”
“Call me,” he told her, and she nodded.
Zoe wanted to throw up, but she didn’t have time for self-indulgence. She’d already humiliated herself enough. If Wade Hampton wasn’t home, she’d find him, wherever he was, and make him damn sorry he made a fool of her.
****
Wade stood in the gravel parking area of the ranch, wondering where Zoe had gone. He’d waited to go down to her house, giving her time to get up and pull herself together. He had no idea how she’d be, either physically or emotionally, after last night, and he wanted to take care of her.
And wasn’t that a new twist for him. Sure, he was known as a Dom who paid attention to aftercare for his subs but this was different. More personal. He wanted to do more than apply salve to her ass and make sure her nipples hadn’t been injured. He wasn’t a man given to discussing his emotions, mostly because he kept them tightly leashed, but if he wanted Zoe—and he couldn’t deny any longer that he did—he was going to have to make some changes.
After working up his nerve for two hours, he made the trek to her house only to find out she wasn’t there and no one knew where she was. Well, wasn’t that just the damnedest thing.
As he stood, scratching his head and trying to think of possibilities, her car turned onto the driveway from the road. Good. She was home. He could talk to her before he lost his nerve and crawled back into his steel shell.
But apparently, she wasn’t as happy to see him as he was to see her. As she approached the parking area, she gunned the engine and, for a moment, he was sure she was going to run him down. He barely jumped out of the way in time. She climbed out of the car, slammed the door, and stomped up to him.
He managed a weak grin. “You trying to kill me with that thing?”
“Maybe. Like they used to say around here, maybe you need killing.”
“What? Why? Are you mad about last night? I thought—” He grabbed her arm. A bitter taste flooded his mouth and the muscles in his stomach cramped. Had he been mistaken last night? Had she not liked what they did after all?
Fuck!
She yanked her arm away from him. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you touch me ever again, you bastard.”
What the hell?
“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands. He had to find out what was going on here, and touching her didn’t help his state of mind. “I admit last night might have been a little over the top. But I was trying to—”
“Scare me off?” she snapped. “Get rid of me? Oh, I know all about your big plan, Wade Cameron. And it wasn’t just because you didn’t like me nipping at your heels. It’s all about Big Spur, right?”
He stared at her, bewildered. “Listen, Zoe.” He stopped and looked around. Two of the hands were working over by the corral but stealing curious looks at them. “Can we take this someplace out of the limelight, please?”
For a moment, he thought she’d refuse. Finally, she nodded and marched off toward her house. When they were in her living room, she turned and faced him again.
“I finally figured out you were an asshole,” she raged. “That you thought I was a pest, just like you always did, and wanted me to take the cure once and for all. But I didn’t think you were a crook, too. That last night—everything—was about getting rid of me completely.”
He was stunned. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I know all about your sweet little deal with the developers and the president of the bank. Oh, yes,” she said, glaring at him. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” She snorted her disgust. “I’m not some little twit you can manipulate. I have an important job with a well-respected firm and major clients. A deal like the one you’ve cooked up was bound to get back to some of them and then back to me.”
Damn it to hell anyway. Despair washed through him as he realized what had happened. He’d put that deal together right after the will was read, when he found out Max Cameron had screwed him one more time. This morning, he’d spent a long time on the phone undoing it, hoping he’d gotten to everyone in time. He wasn’t usually the one apologizing and wiping his own ass. Usually, it was the people his clients had grief with. It hadn’t been a comfortable feeling, but the prize, if he got it—Zoe—would be worth it.
And she’d never have to know about it. If the conversation went the way he’d hoped, they could figure out options for Big Spur together. But it
was clear that wasn’t about to happen. Not unless he could do some serious begging and pleading, things with which he was so not familiar.
“I’m sorry.” He reached for her hands, but she backed away from him. “Zoe, I did it out of anger. I’ve always hated this place. You know that. And I hated the fact that, even in death, Max bound me to it in some way. For him to leave half of the ranch to you… Well, I saw that as a slap in the face. A big one.”
She fisted her hands on her hips. “Did it ever occur to you that Max knew how much I love this place? That he thought if we owned it together, I could make you see it through my eyes? Feel the same things for it he did?”
“The damn ranch was all he ever cared about,” he shouted. “Not me. Not his son. I would have given anything for half the emotion he poured into this place.”
“He didn’t know how anymore,” she told him in a soft voice.
“What the hell does that mean?” he demanded.
“He never got over your mother’s death.” She was still speaking in that low tone that caressed his anger. “Her and your baby sister. His only recourse was to shut himself off from everyone and not allow himself to love. Not let himself feel that pain again.”
“You can’t stop living life,” he pointed out.
“You have.”
Again, her words stunned him. “What the hell does that mean?”
“You left this place and everything behind,” she reminded him. “Built a whole new life for yourself in New York. But it doesn’t seem to me you’ve been very happy. Not if you could react the way you have, do the things you’ve done in the past couple of days.” She dropped her gaze. “Treated me the way you have.”
“Zoe.” He grabbed her hands. When she tried to pull away, he held on tight with unfamiliar desperation. “Please listen to me. You’re right. I did those things out of anger. I didn’t stop to think about anything except hurting Big Spur and you along with it.”
She tried to tug her hands from his again, but he refused to let her, afraid if she broke the connection, he’d lose her completely.
