by Virlyce
“Whoa,” Lucia Fluffytail said. Her tail twitched a few times as she stared into my face. “She’s as beautiful as Snow!”
As beautiful as snow? That’s a compliment I’ve heard about two hundred times from all my suitors. Usually I’m compared to an untouched field after a night of snowfall though. Or as beautiful as moonlight softly streaming through silk curtains. My suitors think they’re original because my name’s Soft Moonlight, but they’re all the same. It’s almost depressing how similar they all are.
“She’s a lot like Snow,” the man beside Lucia Fluffytail said. He wasn’t handsome by the Immortal Continent’s standards, but there was something about him that drew my gaze towards him. His muscles were toned like a farmer’s, and his skin was as tan as Lucia Fluffytail’s. Most men in the Immortal Continent are pretty, not handsome. Was this man interested in me? I tried to look into his eyes, but his gaze was directed elsewhere, namely, my chest.
“Yeah! You’re right!” Lucia Fluffytail said. She was looking at my chest too. “She’s just as flat as Snow!”
…I will neither refute nor give a reaction to that statement.
“Are you going to…?” The purple-skinned girl by Lucia Fluffytail hesitated and gave me a look filled with … pity?
“Let’s bet, Durandal!” Lucia Fluffytail’s eyes lit up as she completely ignored me and my grandfather. What did my grandfather think about this situation? He was looking away, pretending not to notice. Well, it wouldn’t be appropriate for my grandfather to comment in this situation, so I can’t blame him.
“Bet? On what?” the man asked. So his name was Durandal. It sounded very foreign.
“I bet Soft Moonlight’s a man!” Lucia Fluffytail said while puffing her chest out.
I, what, no! I’m a woman! “N—”
“What are the stakes?” Durandal asked. His voice overpowered mine, and I thought he gave me a signal with his eyes to keep silent. “I bet she’s a woman. If I win, you have to let me rest during the night for the next three days.”
“What!? Three days!?” Lucia Fluffytail’s tail slapped the floor of the boat. “Well, I’m not going to lose, so fine! If I win, you’re not allowed to faint even if we do it thirty times!”
…What are they talking about?
“You!” Lucia Fluffytail pointed at me. A reddish-black mist was rising out of her tail. It reeked of blood. I’m scared.
“Y-yes?”
“Are you a man or a woman?”
“Didn’t I introduce you as my granddaughter?” my grandfather mumbled from beside me.
Yes, yes you did, Grandfather. “I’m a woman.”
“That’s impossible!” Lucia Fluffytail shouted, and the reddish-black mist exploded outwards. “You’re definitely a man!”
“I’m a woman!” What was wrong with Lucia Fluffytail’s head? Even a buddha will get angry if provoked three times! I’m not an easy person to bully! And I also have to save face for the sect, but that’s not even why I’m mad. I’ve never been mistaken for a man before. This is a matter of personal face!
“Looks like I win,” Durandal said.
“Not yet!” Lucia Fluffytail said as she pounced towards me. Was she going to attack me? If she does, no one can blame me for being ruthless! “Hold still.”
Hold still? For wha—!!!
“Eh? There’s really nothing there? No! That can’t be right.”
H-her finger’s going deeper! “S-stop!”
“Sister Moonlight!”
“The new chosen is assaulting Sister Moonlight!”
“Wife Moonlight!”
“Sister Moonlight!”
Who called me their wife just now!? I can’t tell over the thousands of people shouting at once! And what is my grandfather doing!? Save me! Your granddaughter is being violated right in front of you! “G-Grandfather!”
My grandfather cleared his throat and turned his head away. …I’ve been forsaken. Lucia’s probing hand disappeared, but I could still feel her touch down there. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life. I, I…
Lucia Fluffytail sighed. “Fine, you win, Durandal. She’s not a man. You said three days, right? Why do you need to rest for two days? I’m perfectly willing to yield one day to you. I guess I’ll fulfill my end of the bargain and leave you alone for an hour.”
Durandal smacked the top of Lucia Fluffytail’s head with his palm. “Shouldn’t you apologize? She’s crying.”
I’m not crying! A chosen is not allowed to cry! …I’m a failure of a chosen.
“Sister Moonlight! The new chosen made our goddess cry! Sister Moonlight!!!”
Stop wailing, people! It’s annoying!
“H-hey,” Lucia Fluffytail said to me with an awkward expression on her face. “Did I really scar you that badly? I just planted over a thousand heart devils…. It can’t be healthy living with a thousand heart devils, so cheer up, okay?” She bit her lower lip. “S-sorry.”
A thousand heart devils…? She only planted one!
“I’m so jealous of the new chosen!”
“My precious Moonlight’s first time was taken from me!”
“Wife Moonlight!!! How could you betray me like this!?”
This goddamn peanut gallery. I’m my own person! Why are you getting heart devils when I’m the one that was violated!? “As you can see, those heart devils were planted in my suitors and secret admirers, not me.”
“You have a thousand suitors?” the purple-skinned girl asked with wide eyes.
“I have a little over half a million secret admirers and over a thousand publicly announced suitors.”
Lucia Fluffytail stared at me with the gaze of a hungry fox. …Did I say something wrong? Or did I look so tantalizing with tears decorating my face that my beauty transcended genders? “So … you’re saying if I grope you again, I can plant up to half a million heart devils?”
“N-no! That’s not what I’m saying at all! S-stop!” Then her hands..., her hands…, they…. To preserve my sanity and remove the heart devils within myself, I’ve mentally sealed off the next course of events.
Chapter 7
Ilya was kidnapped! She was taken away by an old lady who claimed Ilya was going to be her disciple! And Ilya willingly went with her after I refused! Mm, maybe kidnapped is the wrong term. I was robbed! Someone stole Ilya from me! She’s my friendly encyclopedia that knows the answer to everything, but she’s gone now. Hah. Well, there’s a new encyclopedia who knows more about the Immortal Continent than Ilya does, so maybe it’s not an overall loss?
“I’ll visit you often, so don’t make that face, Lucia.” Ilya sighed from the old lady’s side. She should be by my side instead! I’ll remember this, old lady! I might not know your name, address, position in the sect, or anything about you, but I’ll remember this!
“My grandmother will take good care of your friend. Please don’t stare at her like that,” Softie said. Softie is Soft Moonlight, but Soft is such an awkward name, and Moonlight is also such an awkward name, so I just call her Softie. She’s a big ol’ softie with lots of tears inside of her. It’s a fitting name.
After I planted an additional hundred thousand or so heart devils by thoroughly marking Softie as mine in front of the whole sect, the sect leader brought us to a mountain. According to him, only chosens of the sect are allowed to live on this mountain, and no one’s allowed to visit without the chosens’ or sect leader’s permission. That’s why I’m saying goodbye to Ilya here.
“Do get along with each other now,” the sect leader said. He patted Softie’s shoulder. “Take her to the impurity-cleansing pool when you have the chance. I have to accommodate the elders from the other sects for the cultural exchange.”
“Grandfather….” Softie had tears in her eyes. I knew her name was fitting. “Y-you’re going to leave me alone with, with her? Are we even related? How could you do this to me?”
Oi. What’s wrong with being left alone with me, huh? Huh? I’m a very friendly person. Everyone tel
ls me I’m nice, and if everyone thinks it, then it can’t be wrong! Besides, we’re not really alone. Durandal and Puppers are here too.
“I’ll see you soon, Lucia,” Ilya said and waved. Then the old lady by her side smiled and nodded at me before grabbing onto Ilya and disappearing. She didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye. What if I never see Ilya again? That’d be so sad. Two friends parting without a proper farewell. Ah. I hope Ilya won’t be too miserable without me around.
Once Ilya and the thief were gone, the sect leader disappeared as well. It’s just me and Softie now. Softie’s supposed to be my guide in the sect. Softie’s shoulders shrank back as she lowered her head and looked up at me. “U-um, are you tired after your journey? Shall I show you the residences, Sister Lucia?”
“Just call me Lucia.” All these sister and brother and elder and grandpa titles are so annoying to deal with.
“Eh? Are you sure? How about Chosen Lucia?”
“Lucia.”
“Miss Lucia…?”
“Lucia!” I’m going to smack her.
“Y-yes! Lucia! Y-you can call me Sister Moonlight or—”
“Softie.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m going to call you Softie from now on, okay, Softie?” She’s a bit slow, isn’t she? Mm, but that’s okay. I’m used to slow people. For some reason, it takes a long time for most people to understand what I’m saying.
“Isn’t that a pet’s name…?” Did she have a problem with my naming sense? “Hiih! Softie it is! I like the name Softie a lot!”
Mm, that’s better. It looks like Durandal’s intimidation tactics work perfectly in the Immortal Continent. “What was that about residences?” The place that they’re going to let me stay is bound to be filled with riches and luxuries, right? That’s the whole point of being a chosen. We get special treatment. And judging by their simple transportation vehicles, a giant flying boat, their architectural standards are really high! I’m looking forward to this.
“R-right, I’ll show you the way,” Softie said. She couldn’t look me in the eyes. Was she waddling? Why was she waddling? She probably peed her panties, huh? Oops.
This mountain looks like … a regular mountain. There’s trees, grass, dirt, rocks, an evil waterfall that’s threatening to claim my soul, and a deadly river with some monstrous creatures that Softie calls koi. And there are absolutely no signs of any residences. I’m not being cheated, right? This isn’t some sort of elaborate scam to harvest my organs? Well, it’s not like I have any valuable organs to harvest anyways since I don’t have a penis. Just like Softie.
“Lucia? Hello?” Softie’s voice was really soft. One day, she won’t be so nervous around me. “Is something wrong?”
“No. What’s up?” Why’d we stop? We reached halfway up the mountain, but there still aren’t any buildings in sight. There’s only a few holes dug into the ground, but since the mountain’s sloped, maybe it’s more appropriate to call them caves?
“We’re here. You can pick any residence you like.” Softie bit her lower lip and stared at me with wet eyes. They were pleading, trying to tell me to do something. But what the heck am I supposed to do in this situation? Don’t tell me the buildings are invisible.
“Where…?”
Softie bit her lower lip and pointed at the caves. “There.”
“…Is this a joke?” I know I’m a squirrel, but I don’t actually live in a burrow! I’m being racially profiled! I thought people didn’t know about squirrels on the Immortal Continent. Wait, no, foxes live in burrows too, but still, this is wrong! “I’m more human than fox, damnit. I’m not going to live in a hole!”
“S-sorry! Please don’t hurt me!” Softie covered her head and crouched down. She was shaking a lot. Hah. Why is she so timid? Isn’t she supposed to be a chosen? I almost feel bad for her. She’s a sheltered princess who’s lived all alone and was spoiled by her grandparents. No wonder why she hasn’t faced any hardships. Me being mean to her is for her own good! She has to toughen up or she’ll be bullied by someone even worse than me one day. And I’m not even trying to act scary. Jeez.
“Alright. How about this. Take me to where you live.” I don’t know if the sect leader told her to bring me here because he thought a foxkin would like living in burrows, but I can’t live in a cave. There’s not even a door for privacy!
“O-okay,” Softie said. She sniffled and walked forward before looking behind herself to make sure I was following, which I was. Then she walked up to one of the caves. “I live here. Um, would you like to come inside?”
Maybe I’m missing something here. There’s surely another dimension inside of these caves, right? Like a personal pocket realm! That must be it. I poked my head into the cave and saw a beautiful world made of … dirt. And a dirty red carpet with a pillow. I’ve been scammed. This isn’t a rich place at all!
***
For the first time in my life, I’m doing manual labor. I’ve never built a house before; I never realized how difficult it was. Those poor people in the mortal realm who have to exert all their strength doing menial tasks, I’ll never judge them again. But somehow, I think I have it a bit harder even though I’m in the saint realm. For one, I don’t think normal people build ten-story houses by themselves. Well, I’m not really working alone. There’s the wolfkin spirit that Lucia summoned here with me. He’s very friendly. Compared to Lucia, who I’m terrified of, and Durandal, who is aloof, I think I get along with Puppers the best. After all, misery loves company.
“I got more wood!” And Lucia’s back with more building materials.
At least she’s not making me gather the materials to build the house too. After Lucia cut down three trees, I told her we couldn’t cut down trees on the chosens’ mountain because they’re thousands of years old and exude qi, making the place a holy ground for cultivation, so Lucia went off to the core disciples’ mountains before I could stop her. I hope she didn’t harvest too … many!?
“Sister Moonlight! Please, save us!”
Lucia…, Lucia was carrying … a mountain. With one arm. “Um. Lucia? Weren’t you going to get wood?”
“Ah? Yeah,” Lucia nodded as she tossed the mountain peak to the side. People screamed as it crashed into the ground. Why are people screaming!? “You know how sometimes you’re too lazy to pick acorns off a tree one at a time so you decide to cut the whole tree down? This is similar.”
No. I don’t know anything about picking acorns. “Um. No.”
Lucia sighed and looked at me as if I was an idiot. Am I an idiot? I don’t think I am. But people wouldn’t tell me even if I was since I’m so pretty. They wouldn’t want to offend me. …Maybe I am an idiot.
“Look,” Lucia said. “If I cut down all the trees, then I’d need to pick them up one by one. But if I cut down the mountain they’re all on and drag it over, then once I cut down a tree, it’ll already be here. See?” She grabbed a tree on the broken mountain peak and tore it off with her bare hands before throwing it in front of me. I think I understand now. She’s a natural disaster.
“Sister Moonlight!”
“Shut your traps!” Lucia shouted and kicked the mountain peak, causing a ton of trees to shake and fall over. “Sister this, sister that. Aren’t there any other words in your vocabulary?”
Lucia really doesn’t like formalities. I’m not quite sure why, and I’m too scared to ask, so I guess I’ll never know. Anyway, back to building this mansion. Luckily, I can cover my hands with qi to prevent callouses from forming, and since the chosens’ mountain is a holy ground, I recover my qi faster here. And I’m not sure if I’m right, but I think the trees have been producing more qi ever since Lucia came here. Perhaps her cultivation technique draws upon qi from the earth, which is a little weird since most cultivators from the Immortal Continent draw upon qi from the stars. What about heart devil qi? It has a higher purity than star qi, but it’s too hard to obtain for it to be reliable. To reach the earth realm, I’d have to plant fi
fty million heart devils.
“You guys can scram.” Lucia was kicking away the core disciples that had been dragged along with their mountain peak. Speaking of their mountain peak, where did it go? There’s only a massive pile of trees in its place. Did Lucia store it? Why? “And if you call out for Sister Moonlight one more time, I’ll rip your tongues out, got it?”
The core disciples fled from the chosens’ mountain without a word. Lucia’s never threatened to rip my tongue out before. Perhaps she’s actually treating me nicely? Maybe she noticed I don’t really like being bothered by the peanut gallery all the time. “You didn’t have to threaten them for me, you know?”
“Eh?” Lucia tilted her head. “But how else am I supposed to grow heart devils?”
So it wasn’t for me. That’s okay. I’m not disappointed.
“D-don’t cry! Damnit! Why do you cry all the time!?”
“I-I’m not crying!” Even if I am, I’m not allowed to admit it. I have to be a stoic chosen. Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Phew, okay. That’s better.
Lucia sighed. Did I disappoint her? “One day, there’s going to be someone who’ll attack you, and your go-to defense of crying isn’t going to save you.” She flicked my forehead, and it felt like an explosion went off in my head. “Ah, that was a bit too hard. Anyway, stop crying so much, got it?”
Was this her trying to be nice to me? I’m not sure if I should take that as advice or as a threat. Maybe it’s both? But I really have the feeling that she’s trying to be my friend—or maybe that’s just the wishful thinking of a lonely person. I’m not sure why she’d try to be friends with me. Men only want to court me. Women hate me for attracting all the men. Sometimes I wonder if I have any redeeming values that aren’t my beauty or status in the sect.
“If you’re tired, then you should rest. Drink this,” Lucia said and placed a cup of brown liquid into my hands. What’s this? It’s hot. “Don’t you dare slack off, Puppers! I know you don’t get tired.”
It’s sweet! “W-what is this!? It’s amazing!”
