by Virlyce
Softie’s head broke through the surface of the water. “Pwah! You dropped me too suddenly!” She…, she was treading water like an evil sorcerer practicing some sort of black magic. This water seemed to be a lot deeper than I thought…? No way, the water was playing tricks on me! Softie looks super long underneath the surface! What I thought had the depth of a baking pan was actually as deep as an ocean! …It’s a good thing I dropped Softie in first or I would’ve drowned, huh?
“You’re not going to put Durandal and Puppers into your interspacial ring?” Softie’s face was bright red. She was clinging to the edge of the pool with everything except her head submerged. Some black things were leaking out of her body and mixing into the pool, but they disappeared when they went far away from her.
“It’s cruel to store weapons and armor with spirits inside of interspacial rings!” Mm, after Durandal told me all about his bad experience inside of the Godking’s treasure trove, I promised myself I wouldn’t put him in a similar situation.
“Is it…? I don’t think that’s the case….” Softie’s voice was really soft. It seemed like she was afraid again. Hah. The plan to make Softie grow a spine seems like it’ll take a lot longer to implement than expected. When was there a plan to make Softie grow a spine? It was always there! I hate weak people. Hate them. So if I’m going to be keeping Softie as a portable encyclopedia, she has to grow a spine!
“Anyways, time to wash off the impurities that I don’t have.” I’m still technically chaste since Durandal’s just a spirit! There’s nothing about me that’s impure. I grabbed the towel and squatted next to the pool. Here we go. I dipped the towel into the water. Oh, it’s warm! Eh…?
“Wah!?” Softie’s eyes widened as she scrambled out of the pool that was rapidly turning black. “L-L-Lucia! What’s happening!?”
Why is she asking me!? “Stop panicking so much! You’ll make me nervous too!” Okay. Let’s evaluate this situation. Ilya always says I need to slow down and think even though it may be difficult. …Was Ilya saying slowing down would be difficult? Or was she saying it’s difficult for me to think…? Gah! I’m going to add hot peppers to her hot chocolate the next time I treat her. Mm, but what was…, oh! Right. The impurity-cleansing pool…. “So, it’s not supposed to turn black, right?”
“N-no.” Softie took in three deep breaths before finally being able to speak. The pool turned completely black without any ripples. It looked like the surface of the inkwells that Ilya always used. “I-impurities are cleaned out right away by the impurity-cleansing fishes. They’re really tiny, so you can’t see them unless you look underwater. They eat the impurities, and their waste turns into new impurity-cleansing water.”
“…You wanted me to wash myself with fish pee?” I knew it! There were unseen monsters lurking inside the water!
“But it’s very clean fish pee!” Softie’s face turned red again. She covered her chest and crotch with one arm each before waddling over to the edge of the pool. She crouched down and I resisted the urge to push her in. I’m not that mean! “But what did you do to the water…? I saw you dip your hand and towel inside, and then the whole pool was filled with impurities.”
“Mm. There’s only one explanation: The pool’s broken.” Ah, there’s some tiny bubbles appearing on the surface of the water. Is that a bead?
“Ah! That’s the belly of an impurity-cleansing fish! Is it dead!?” Softie waved her hand, and I felt some qi leave her fingers. It wrapped around the bead and lifted it into the air before coming back to her hand. “It, it’s dead.” She swallowed and pointed at the pool. Hmm?
Thousands of bubbles were popping on the surface of the pool, and thousands of little beads soon followed. Were those all dead fish? Someone must’ve held a serious grudge against me for violating Softie in front of the whole sect! They actually poisoned the impurity-cleansing pool that I was going to use! How vicious! The Immortal Continent is a scarier place than I thought. People even poisoned your bath water.
“Wait….” Softie swallowed as she rose to her feet. “The water at the top is the purest and it trickles down to the lower floors of the pagoda. If that’s the case—”
Screams filled the room, coming from outside the door. “I can’t see! Everything’s black!”
“Brother Forest’s skin is melting off!”
“Another toe is growing out of my foot!”
“My belly button turned into a nipple!”
“H-help! I’m dying!”
“What’s going on!?”
“The Great Poison Sect must be attacking us! They came here for the cultural exchange! Brothers and sisters, we must band together to wipe them off the face of the Immortal Continent!”
“To the cultural exchange!”
“They’ll pay for turning my belly button into a nipple!”
Wow, this place is a little hectic, huh? Especially since the sect has over a million people in it. Like I thought, once one person starts panicking, everyone else starts panicking too. “Let’s go with them to beat up the Great Poison Sect!” I haven’t beaten anyone up in a long time! That person who Durandal fought doesn’t count. All I did was swing once.
“Um. But I don’t think the Great Poison Sect was responsible for this…?” Softie lowered her head and looked up at me through her eyelashes. Gah! Why’s she so pretty!? I’m jealous! “L-Lucia? Hiih! Yes, yes! The Great Poison Sect is completely responsible for this! Let’s go destroy them immediately!”
Ah, oops. My jealousy frightened her. But that’s okay! Once the problem with the impurity-cleansing pool is solved by wiping out the Great Poison Sect, I’ll finally be able to wash properly. Mm, it’s good to have goals. They’re great motivation.
Chapter 8
Lucia’s officially a chosen of the sect. As one of her companions, I was given the choice to stay by her side as a servant or become a disciple of the sect. This choice required absolutely zero thought. Of course, I became a disciple of the sect! And I was promoted right away to core disciple because of my relationship with Lucia. The wife of the sect leader volunteered to become my master, so it’s safe to say I have a pretty stable backing. If the sect leader is similar to an emperor, then his wife is the empress. Compared to a duke, an empress has a higher status. Thus, I should have more face in the Immortal Continent than I did back at home. The only problem is Lucia didn’t really like my parting, but I tried to act as reluctant as possible so her anger would shift onto my new master instead of me. It should be fine since my master’s an earth-realm expert. …Right?
Currently, I’m attending the sect’s cultural exchange with my master. If I had to describe it in a single word…, then it’d be hectic. Apparently, in Kong County, there’s over a thousand sects. A lot of them are as large as the Shadow Devil Sect, but the disciples of those sects aren’t as gifted. It really makes me wonder how big the Immortal Continent is exactly. Over a thousand sects with a million people each. That’s already a billion people. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that only one out of ten people will have the qualifications to join a sect, which means there’s nine billion regular people, adding up to a total of ten billion. And that’s in Kong County alone! King Province is made up of ten counties, each of them the same size as Kong County. That’s a hundred billion people! There was a food shortage in some parts of the sky and earth plane, and we only had a population of two million. I can’t even imagine how difficult it’d be to create residences for a hundred billion people let alone feed them all.
But I digress. The cultural exchange is basically a giant male-organ-measuring contest between all of the sects, and it’s currently hosted by the Shadow Devil Sect. It happens once every three months because the sects really like competing or something. My master says it encourages growth due to rivalry. Right now, I’m watching a bunch of middle-aged men play with fireballs. That’s right, the same kind of fireball created by a first-circle spell. And everyone’s amazed. I don’t understand.
“Aren’t you int
erested?” My master was the grandmother of Soft Moonlight, but she didn’t sound old at all. If she hid her face behind a veil, anyone would think she was still a young woman if they heard her voice. “It’s not every day you can see alchemists flaunt their techniques.”
“But didn’t you say the cultural exchange lasted for three months? And that it’d be set up again in another location after the three months were over? If I followed it around, I could see these alchemists flaunt their techniques every day, but that’s not the point. Even a child can do what they’re doing.” I was playing with fire since I was eight; my father didn’t really approve though. All that these so-called alchemists are doing is adjusting the temperature of the flames in their hand.
“Really?” My master raised her eyebrows. “Is it that simple? Only one out of ten thousand people are born with a flame essence.”
“Fireball.” A ball of fire hovered above my palms. What else were those alchemists doing? Increasing the temperature? All I have to do is layer on another fireball. “Fireball. Fireball. Fireball. Fireball. Fireball.” There, now my flames are hotter than all of those alchemists’ out there combined.
“You…, have a fire essence?” My master looked around. Was she making sure no one else was watching? But what’s this fire essence she keeps talking about?
“I don’t think so?”
“But you can control flames! You have to have a fire essence to convert qi to fire.”
Really…? “What other essences are there?” Like if I were to change these flames into ice by casting Frost Ball, would she say I had an ice essence. I don’t think this is anything impressive, honestly. “Frost Ball.”
“Ice essence!”
“Earthen spike…?”
“Earth essence!”
“Gust.”
“Wind essence!”
“Lightning Bolt.”
“Thunder essence!”
Hmm? Shouldn’t that be lightning essence? Thunder’s the sound that accompanies lightning, you know? Well, whatever. “Chaos Orb.”
“Origin essence!” My master’s eyes widened to the size of saucers as she covered her mouth with both her hands. But it was too late because everyone else heard. And they were all staring at me. Even the people who hadn’t heard were staring at me because of herd mentality. Once they saw other people staring, they had to stare as well.
“She has origin essence!”
No. I have mana. And any magician in the pocket realm could do this with enough mana.
“If we dissect her, we could each have a little bit of her to study!”
Oi! What the hell!? Is this what I get for showing off? Save me, Lucia! Wait. Lucia’s not here. “M-Master.”
“Ahem!” My master climbed to her feet while radiating qi. She was imposing, but I don’t think she’s as threatening as Lucia. Lucia’s qi has a bloodthirst mixed inside of it. My master’s is gentler even though it’s thicker. “Which one of you has designs on my, Bright Moonlight’s, personal disciple?”
All the alchemists, elders, and perverts who had their designs on me backed off under my master’s glare. When everyone averted their gaze, my master turned to me and swallowed. “Can I have a portion of your liver to study? Just one tiny portion and I’ll heal you right away!”
…I think I’m in more danger here than I was with Lucia. Is this what people mean when they say the grass is always greener on the other side? I miss Lucia already and it hasn’t even been a day since we separated. What is wrong with me? If Lucia were here, she’d have done much more than just threatening. Those people who coveted me would be robbed.
“You Greedy Poison Sect bastards tried to poison me! Prepare to pay with your life or all your life belongings!”
Like that. Exactly like … that. Lucia?
***
Whew, there’s a lot of people gathered here. Softie said this was the cultural exchange, and I think she explained what it was to me, but I wasn’t listening. Instead of the monotonous scene of people wearing black robes, there were all kinds of colors. Apparently, only the Shadow Devil Sect is allowed to wear black. Other sects had their own colors, and the weaker sects sometimes used the same color, but black was unique to the Shadow Devil Sect. And Softie told me only the Star Phoenix Sect could wear red after Durandal asked. I almost forgot the Star Phoenix Sect was my mortal enemy until Durandal reminded me. But I’m a fox now! So there’s no reason for the Star Phoenix Sect to want to kill me at all.
“Outrageous! Who do you think you are!?” a man in purple stood up and shouted at me. Around him, there were a bunch of other people wearing purple too.
“Those are the Great Poison Sect members, Chosen Lucia! Please, avenge my belly button!”
This guy has a serious attachment to his belly button. Since the greedy…, great? Since the Greedy Poison Sect tried to kill me by contaminating the impurity-cleansing pool that I was going to use, they impacted a whole lot of people! At least thirty. I’m sure there’s more, but I didn’t want to spend time counting them and thirty seems like a lot. And as a chosen of the sect, those impacted people—like the guy who had his belly button turned into a nipple—flocked around me because Mr. Shoe was the elder on duty at the time, but he ran away somewhere. Since I’m a naturally charismatic leader, I decided to lead this righteous cause!
Durandal nodded at the purple-robed person. “Once we rob them, I want all their swords. They look like they’d have exquisite swords.”
…Robbing people is a righteous cause! Hmm? How? Simple! I’m doing it out of love for Durandal, and any act done out of love is righteous. The bonuses that come with the swords are the world’s way of rewarding me for being a good person. Mn. This is justified.
Softie coughed. Was she sick? Don’t tell me the poison got her too! My encyclopedia can’t die on the day I meet her! That’s really bad luck. “Lucia? You’re not going to respond to them?”
Respond to who? Ah! Right. “I’m Lucia Fluffytail, chosen of the Shadow Devil Sect! And you’re the bastards who tried to assassinate me!”
“Us? Bastards? Assassinate? You?”
Hah. It looks like these people were even slower than Softie. He only spoke four words, but all of them were questions! “Yes, you. If you’re not bastards, then what are you? Assassinate means to kill. And me is I!” Or would it be I is me? Hmm. Well, they get the point. At least, they should.
The purple-robed man crossed his arms over his chest, and qi billowed out of him. My tail rose and puffed out, but it wasn’t completely stiff. If I fought him, I wouldn’t die, but I might not win either! How strong is this person? “Sect Leader Moonlight! What is the meaning of this? My Great Poison Sect might not be one of Kong’s five fingers, but I won’t let your disciple slap my face with false accusations! We’re not that easy to bully!”
The sect leader, who was sitting next to the person who kidnapped Ilya, oh! It’s Ilya! I waved at her. Wait, what was the sect leader doing? Right, he stood up and rose into the air. Then he landed in front of me. “Junior Lucia…. Do you mind explaining what’s going on?”
“Sure!” I pointed at the people in purple. “Those people tried to poison me.”
The sect leader followed my finger with his gaze. Then he turned to Softie. “Little Moon, do you mind explaining what’s going on?”
Hey! Don’t blatantly ignore me like that! I’m going to hit him. Breaking Blade! …Darn. How come his shield’s so strong? I’ll have to get Durandal to teach me how he managed to injure that other person with the shield. If I can’t hit someone, how am I supposed to solve my problems? This is a disaster that needs to be addressed immediately!
“I brought Lucia, err, Sister Lucia to the impurity-cleansing pool like Sect Leader asked. While we were there, the whole pool became contaminated and the impurity-cleansing fishes all died. Even now, the pool is filled with toxins that caused my fellow disciples’ skins to melt. The—”
“And my belly button turned into a nipple.”
“Yes, ther
e’s that too. Along with melting skin, mutations occurred upon contact with the toxins. I think someone grew another toe.” Softie stopped speaking and nodded at her grandfather. She whispered, but I could still totally hear her, “I think it was Lucia’s fault.”
How was it my fault!? All I did was dip a towel into the pool! I only touched it with my fingertips. It can’t be my fault. She was making a jab at me, right? Right? Once the sect leader’s not around to defend her, I’ll teach her to call someone impure. Hmph.
“Junior Lucia.” The sect leader smiled at me. It looked friendly, but I’m sure the intent behind it wasn’t friendly at all! It was like Durandal’s sadistic smile! Did I join a sadist’s sect? Wait. They get qi from making people suffer heart devils; of course, this is a sadistic sect! I-I’m surrounded by perverts! “Do you have any proof that the Great Poison Sect did it? You seem extremely sure.”
“Ah, yeah. One of the disciples said it was the Greedy Poison Sect people.” I turned around. “Which one of you was it?” No one said anything. “Who. Was. It?”
“I-it was Brother Mint, Chosen Lucia!”
Everyone pointed at one person in the center of the crowd. He swallowed and walked up to the sect leader and me with his head hanging down. “Right.” I patted his shoulder, and his knees buckled. He was as scared as Softie. Does no one have a spine? “This person personally saw some Great Poison Sect people poisoning the pool.”
“P-personally…?”
Hmm? Did he say something? No, it must’ve been the wind.
“Is this true, Junior Mint?” The sect leader gave the junior an encouraging smile that looked completely inappropriate now that I know he’s a pervert, and the junior raised his head. “If you’re wrong, then you’ll be punished. Naturally, if you’re right, you’ll be handsomely rewarded.”
