by Virlyce
Under the chaotic atmosphere where everyone started attacking one another, Lucia and I slipped through the crowd and made our way to my original target. They were actually engaging in combat with those Great Poison Sect members who were already severely injured earlier. It seemed like they wanted to get rid of a rival under the guise of chaos. Well, I’m not a cruel person. Once I thoroughly take what I want from them, I’ll do the same to the Great Poison Sect. Then it’ll be fair.
With Lucia’s expertise in stealth, she ran up to the silver-robed people while shouting a drawn out Breaking Blade. Of course, Lucia has zero expertise in stealth despite being part squirrel, and everyone on the battlefield noticed her. But noticing her didn’t equate stopping her. She bulldozed through the silver-robed people and Great Poison Sect members alike, blood and limbs flying into the air. She sincerely believes her attacks don’t kill people. If she can survive with all her limbs cut off at once, then other people can survive with all their limbs cut off at once too—that’s how she thinks. She’s like a child that way. Well, I can’t blame her for lacking a proper education while growing up.
Surprisingly or not, there weren’t many earth-realm experts. Well, I was under the impression that they were hard to find in Kong County. I remember hearing from somewhere that even the five fingers of Kong had less than ten earth-realm experts each. And this meant Lucia was free to go on a rampage as one of the strongest people attending. I didn’t even need to help her, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to. There’s no reason not to gather combat experience while I can.
Truthfully, after killing a few so-called elders of the lesser sects, my impressions of the Immortal Continent aren’t very good. They’re weak, so pitifully weak that it makes my stomach churn. Every single one of them hesitated at critical moments. It was as if they had zero experience fighting for their lives. Were their techniques just for show? There was no substance behind them, no killing intent. How disappointing. Compared to Lucia, these people have never struggled a day in their lives. No wonder why they belong to second-rate sects. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing. If people can live forever, then why would they expose themselves to danger before they’re immortal? It’s ironic that that way of thinking is the greatest obstacle on the way to immortality. Well, as long as I get easy access to flying swords to eat, I’ll stomach this uncomfortable feeling that’s similar to doing chores.
***
Swing, swing, swing. Chop, chop, chop. Mince, mince…, eh? I shouldn’t mince. Right. No mincing. Slice, slice, slice. Whew, this is really easy. What am I doing? Planting heart devils, of course! Every time I harvest a limb, a heart devil blossoms. Sometimes multiple heart devils appear with a single swing of mini-DalDal. It’s great! Why am I working so hard to plant heart devils? Because the more heart devils I plant, the more pleasurable it is when I cycle the Heart Devil Cultivation Technique! Oh, and I guess it can help me become a sky-realm expert to go home. Yeah, that too.
But there’s just one issue…. Some of the heart devils are disappearing. A lot of them, actually. And that doesn’t make any sense. A heart devil is only resolved by death or by overcoming whatever was plaguing their hearts. And if I’m terrorizing people by chopping off their limbs, then they shouldn’t be able to shrug off these heart devils that easily. Obviously, they can’t be dying either. So there’s only one conclusion. Mm. I have to traumatize my next heart devil seedbeds thoroughly, so thoroughly that they’ll see me every time they close their eyes.
There’s so many people to plant heart devils in; this is the perfect environment for the Unrelenting Path of Slaughter. I can shut off my hearing to drown out all the screaming and the begging for mercy. And qi that is rushing towards me is super easy to notice. Mm, and since red lines mark the best place to cut someone to kill them, all I have to do is not follow the lines to not kill them. I’m so generous. With the help of my Path of Slaughter, this is an extremely easy and carefree task, which is why I love it. Only a combat junkie would want to fight something stronger than herself. No matter how many paths there are, I will always take the one of least resistance! And if the path of least resistance has too much resistance, then I’ll give up. These are my principles. I’m a principled person, not a lazy one. Mhm.
Of course, Puppers is following behind me and looting everyone. Durandal went off somewhere after robbing the silver-robed people that looked at me funny. And Softie plus a small army of Shadow Devil Sect members are tailing me. At least, I think that’s Softie…. I’m colorblind with the Unrelenting Path of Slaughter active. Huh? What if I accidentally plant heart devils in Shadow Devil Sect members? That doesn’t matter! I already planted so many in Softie’s suitors that a few more won’t hurt. According to Softie, planting heart devils in fellow sect members is totally allowed. And the other sects that are supposed to be our allies can use a few heart devils too.
But wait, why aren’t I killing people even though there’s no doubt a lot of sects that want me dead? That’s simple! Dead people can’t have heart devils. Err, I mean, I’m not a murderer! I don’t kill people even if they want to kill me! I’m like a saint, super-duper forgiving and nice and stuff. Besides, my Unrelenting Path of Slaughter still grows despite no one dying. I’m not sure why, but it does. Maybe it’s the amount of blood I spill? I’m sure it gets a little bit stronger for every five liters of blood I extract from a person. I’m not sure how many liters of blood people have but losing five isn’t enough to kill them! I think. Anyways, it depends on the size of the person since some beasts have a lot of blood.
Whew, it’s been a while since I’ve had such long and continuous unbroken thoughts. This is all thanks to my engraving skills and the flaccid phoenix bones I took from the flaccid phoenix restaurant. Since I became the owner of a large territory of land, I’ve learned something called resource management from Ilya! Mainly, don’t overindulge on non-renewable resources. Like bones of focus that actually work on me. That’s why I’m only using them when I have those annoying headaches or when I really need their effects. And a slaughter like this requires a lot of my undivided attention. Besides, there aren’t any trees in this place, so there can’t be acorns or cocoa beans. I could probably do this without any focus bones!
The lack of danger greatly pleases me too. My Armor of Slaughter is enough to stop every attack aimed at me, but even if it wasn’t, Softie and the army behind me are canceling out attacks heading towards me with their own. No doubt, I’m a very important person. Joining this sect was a great idea. It was my idea, right? It definitely wasn’t Durandal’s. Right, Durandal’s ideas are my ideas anyways. I have such great ideas! Nothing can stop me. This is the life! Doing whatever—ow! Fuck! What was that!? Did something just…, gah! There’s an arrow in my heart! What the fuck is this!?
There! It was that bastard with the bow! I’ll rip him to shreds! “Unrelenting Path of Slaughter: Tides of Blood!” This technique is my new strongest attack, even stronger than Breaking Blade. I developed it all by myself. Unlike Breaking Blade where I gather all my qi into mini-DalDal and swing, I focus on my target and gather all my qi directly on top of it! There’s something inside my qi that doesn’t like other people, so if they’re surrounded by it, they get attacked by that something. I’m not sure what it is. But it’s a lot more effective than Breaking Blade! I ran repeated trial runs on Puppers with Ilya’s help as a researcher. Of course, once I focus all my qi on the target, I’m left wide open, but all I have to do is consume a bone of strength, like this one, and I’m back to full health. Of course, there aren’t any consequences to using bones of strength like tainting my body with impurities; they’re a completely overpowered item which let me use repeated Tides of Blood if the target survives. Like this fucking bow user. How dare he shoot an arrow into my heart? If two or three Tides of Blood don’t work, then I’ll drown him in an ocean of blood! I have lots of strength bones!
***
Well, the cultural exchange is ruined. I thought I could experience foreign custo
ms without an issue, but no. I should’ve known the instant I heard Lucia’s voice targeting those poor Great Poison Sect members that something was going to happen. Lucia was shot in the chest by an arrow. And now she’s gone berserk. Everyone between her and the archer that shot her is dead. Luckily, there weren’t any Shadow Devil Sect members ahead of her. They learned their lesson and trailed behind her when she cut off some of their limbs.
But I guess this puts me in an awkward situation, huh? My master told me not to worry since she’s an earth-realm expert and she could defend me, but I can’t help but feel that I have to worry considering I’m the person here who knows Lucia the best. It’d be nice if I could give up feeling responsible for her. But why did she have to tell Durandal to attack those White Crane Sect people? Ugh. This whole battlefield is a disaster.
“Unbelievable! Chosen Lucia is forcing back Thirtieth Prince Yi!”
…Thirtieth? There’s at least thirty princes? Wait, there are princes? “Who’s Thirtieth Prince Yi?”
My master tore her gaze away from Lucia’s battle and smiled at me before turning back towards the archer that shot Lucia. Was she not going to answer me? “The Yi family has ruled King Province for the past hundred millennia. Emperor Yi is a sky-realm expert who’s fathered over a thousand children. Thirtieth Prince Yi is an earth-realm expert who enjoys scouring through cultural exchanges for talents that he can recruit for himself.”
A thousand children…. Well, if sky-realm experts really live for a thousand years, it makes sense for them to have a lot of children. I mean, after a few hundred years, I imagine life would get pretty boring and what’s a better pastime than copulation? After all, Lucia enjoys it a lot…. I really wish she’d keep it down at night. Wait. What would happen if…? “Say Lucia kills this prince. What’ll happen?”
My master sighed. “Honestly, it depends on Emperor Yi’s mood. Since he has a lot of children, he’s not really attached to any of them. But he’ll think of the murderer as someone not giving him any face. If he’s in a terrible mood, our Shadow Devil Sect could face the wrath of the royal family. If he’s in a good mood, then nothing will happen.”
Is that normal? That’s not normal at all, right? It can’t be normal. “Out of curiosity, how many children do most people have?”
“Hmm? As many as their resources can support. A rich man can easily have up to a hundred children. A poor man can easily die a virgin. Of course, cultivators are a bit different; some vital essence is lost while creating children, so cultivators won’t have offspring until they feel like they can progress no further in their cultivation.”
Well. I guess the fact that the emperor can’t keep it in his pants is pretty normal then. And it’s not too unreasonable if I try to justify it. Some animals have lots of offspring with very little care given to each one: spiders, frogs, clams. Some animals have very few offspring with lots of care devoted to each one: monkeys, dolphins, whales. It just so happens that this Emperor Yi is similar to a frog. After all, there can only be one successor to the throne; he can’t care about all the princes. But there’s still the risk of retaliation simply from the blow to his reputation he’d suffer if someone killed a prince. Despite knowing this, not a single person from the Shadow Devil Sect is trying to stop Lucia from killing Thirtieth Prince Yi. “Shouldn’t someone save the prince?”
“Hmm? Why?”
“Didn’t you say our Shadow Devil Sect would suffer the wrath of the royal family…?”
“That’s the worst-case scenario. And the wrath of the royal family can easily be settled with a payment of spirit stones.”
…I’m starting to feel bad for these princes and princesses. Their lives are worth so little simply because their father’s an unfaithful person. I’m sure he’s unfaithful. There’s no way one woman gave birth to over a thousand children by herself. But I don’t feel bad for this Prince Yi. He’s the one who had to shoot Lucia with an arrow. Of all the people he could’ve shot, he shot Lucia. I bet all the arrogance he has as an earth-realm expert is being washed away at this very instant. There’s no way anyone would feel good after being swallowed by over a hundred of Lucia’s Tides of Blood. Well, taking a second look at him, it seems like more than his arrogance is being swept away. Like his skin, flesh, and bones. And … he’s dead. Lucia’s killed royalty of the Immortal Continent in less than a week.
“Chosen Lucia’s killed an earth-realm expert!”
“As expected of the one brave enough to violate my Wife Moonlight in front of me!”
“Chosen Lucia! I’m proud to be in the same sect as you even though you terrify me!”
“Chosen Lucia!”
And everyone’s treating it as a momentous event. Jeez. What is wrong with people here? They have zero common sense. Their personalities are twisted too. How can they celebrate someone’s death but not expect to die during a fight? It’s clear that many of the people here don’t have any experience with actual combat. I’ve been watching a lot of the fights out of curiosity because I’ve already seen what Lucia could do, so there was no point in watching her. A standard fight, from what I’ve observed, goes like this: two natives lock eyes with each other, they bluster and curse at each other while hurling insults, one or both of their faces turn bright red and they both start radiating qi, both of them perform a single technique, whoever spits out blood first instantly surrenders and offers up the tribute interspacial ring, and then the fight is over. There’s no desperate struggle. It’s like … watching the mating dance of a bird. If the discrepancy between two natives’ strengths is too great, then after locking eyes, they disengage and find someone else. If they spit out blood at the same time, they nod at each other and shake hands before disengaging. There’s some unwritten agreement to not kill. And that’s not a bad thing at all, really. Unless you throw in someone like Lucia who doesn’t even know the meaning of the word customs. Even though these natives won’t kill anyone, they get extremely happy and riled up when someone dies. That’s the weird part. The Shadow Devil Sect members behind Lucia have been whipped up into a frenzy.
“Assist Chosen Lucia!”
“Chosen Lucia! Please, marry me!”
“No! Marry me instead! I’ll let you do whatever you wish to me!”
…These people are hopeless. They’re literally courting death. My lord, why was I even remotely worried about their mental health? It’s clear they’re too damaged to be helped. Hmm?
My master nudged me. “You’re not going to take part in this battle? It’s a good time to obtain experience.”
“No. I’ll pass.” This isn’t the kind of experience I need. After facing down death by staying with Lucia in the desolate mountains, this kind of battlefield isn’t stimulating at all. …Wait. Wait a minute. Am I the broken one? I’m turning down a perfectly safe and good chance to experience the techniques of the natives because it’s not dangerous enough for my liking? Ilya! Clear your head! This is a golden opportunity to see how you compare to others! Before Lucia fully clears the battlefield, I’ll harvest as much experience as I can! “Actually, I’ll take part. Please, watch over me. I don’t want to be hit by a stray earth-realm expert’s attack.” Lucia got shot by that prince because she was attracting too much attention. Thankfully, I even have a master to aid me in times of trouble. Right?
“Yes, I’ll watch over you carefully, disciple.”
She’s so much nicer than Teacher Winemark and Lucia….
***
“What’s this? What’s this?”
Lucia held out an opaque glass bottle of immortal pills and shook it in front of my face. I sighed. Ever since that battle that day…, I’ve been stuck inside Lucia’s unfinished mansion appraising items for her. Thankfully, she didn’t force me to build the mansion anymore, making Puppers do it without me. “That’s a bottle of mortal-realm immortal pills. It clears meridians and helps qi circulate better, but it’s only effective for those under the saint realm.”
Lucia sighed as her tail drooped.
“So it’s worthless. Got it.” Then she stuck it into her interspacial ring. Another item appeared in her hands: a jade slip. Her eyes lit up as her tail rose once more. “What’s this? What’s this?”
…When I see her excited expression that looks like a dog that found a bone, I really find it hard to believe she’s the same bloodthirsty slaughterer from that day. Which personality is the real Lucia? I took the jade slip from Lucia and inserted some qi into it. A few golden characters lit up on its surface. “This is the Great Poison Sect’s core cultivation technique, Immortal Poison Body. It’s not worth cultivating. It makes you immune to all poisons of the same rank that you cultivate it to, but the impurities that build up will slow your cultivation to a halt. No one’s ever gotten past the saint-realm while cultivating this technique, which is why the Great Poison Sect is a second-rate existence.”
Lucia snatched the jade slip out of my hand. Her eyes widened as she hugged the slip to her chest. “Did you say it’d make me immune to poisons?”
“Your cultivation will also slow to a halt….”
“Just learning it won’t hurt, yeah? As long as I don’t cultivate it, it’ll be fine, right? Mm. Right. I’m just taking a peek.” Lucia took in a deep breath and squinted at the jade slip. “This is going to hurt a lot, but for the sake of eating food without being poisoned, it’ll be worth it!”
…I did say it wasn’t worth cultivating, right? I’m sure I said it. But Lucia only cares about the facts I can tell her and not my opinions. To her, I’m nothing more than an encyclopedia. Hah. I know this is supposed to make me feel sad, but I’m a little happy that I can be useful to someone. As long as there is a relationship that ties us together, even if it’s one between a person and her encyclopedia, there’s a chance that it can develop into a friendship. I’m sure of it! …I hope I’m right. Maybe I’m wrong. I should just give up….
