by Virlyce
“I am the emperor! I really am! Look at my crown!”
Lucia’s knuckles stopped grinding against the poor man’s skull as her hand flashed. The crown disappeared as her fingers touched it, and then she resumed grinding his head again. “I don’t see a crown.”
“L-Lucia…. Stop. Please.”
T-the emperor conceded! How could a sky-realm expert bow his head so easily!?
“Mm. That’s better,” Lucia said and dusted off her hands after releasing Emperor Yi. She patted his back twice, planting his face into the ground with her overwhelming strength. I’ve been on the receiving end of that palm once. It’s not pleasant. “Ilya, hurry up and mend him.”
“Okay…,” Ilya said with a sigh. She rolled her eyes and sauntered over to the fallen emperor before placing her hand on his head. It glowed white with what she called mana, and then she retracted her hand. “All done.”
Mana was a curious thing. It behaves a lot like qi. It’s almost as if the person who came up with the concept had a firm grasp on qi and attempted to traverse his own path. I wonder if there are any sky-realm experts who use mana. I haven’t heard of any, but then again, I’m just a frog in a well. The world is vast, and I’ve only stayed in my sect for the vast majority of my life.
“Do you remember who you are?” Lucia asked, picking the emperor off the ground. She blinked at him and tilted her head, her tail twitching. “You must’ve been someone important since you know how to fly and teleport. Only earth-realm experts and above can do that! And this old man’s over a hundred years old, but he hasn’t reached the sky-realm yet. You’re, like, sixteen or somewhere around there and your qi is much thicker than his. Thus, you’re some kind of chosen from an important sect!”
Ilya’s eyes widened. “Lucia’s deducing things? What is the world coming to?”
“I always deduce things! I’m an intelligent person!” Lucia stamped her feet and glared at Ilya. “I just have a lot of focus right now. Very, very, hyper focused.”
“Enough of this farce!” Emperor Yi shouted. His feet lifted into the air, but Lucia tackled him back onto the floor of the boat in an instant.
“I already told you, you can’t fly here!” Lucia growled. “Damn. Idiots these days. They can’t appreciate any goodwill!”
“Look at this!” Emperor Yi pulled something out of an interspacial ring as he struggled. The royal crest!
“And that is…?” Lucia leaned over the emperor and smelled the crest. Her brow wrinkled before she licked it. “Hmm. No idea.”
“Y-you licked the royal crest….” Emperor Yi looked crestfallen. He stared at the single wet droplet crawling down the lines of the bow and arrow engraved on the metal. “B-barbaric! How dare you try to seduce me, fox!?”
“…Seduce?” Lucia blinked. “I already said you weren’t attractive! Why would I seduce you?”
The emperor choked and coughed out a mouthful of blood. “Which part of me isn’t attractive!?” He roared and let out a massive fluctuation of qi. The floorboards cracked underneath him, and Lucia was blown up into the air as if she were hit by a geyser. A bow materialized in the emperor’s hand, and he drew back the string, an arrow made of white qi forming at his fingertips. With a twang, the arrow vanished and instantly reappeared embedded in Lucia’s chest.
“Lucia!” I couldn’t stop myself from shouting as Lucia coughed out a mouthful of blood, her tail stiffening as her eyes widened.
“This crazy person!” Lucia teleported beside the emperor and smacked the bow out of his hands. Surprisingly, he couldn’t resist! Just how strong was Lucia’s physical strength? Her physique was beyond my comprehension. Wasn’t she only at the strength of a red dragon? Wait. She did eat over a thousand aurochsen which are famed battle mounts known for their strength. But could it make that much of a difference? The impurities she accumulated from eating them isn’t worth it! “Who shoots someone in the heart!? What if my boob scars!?”
“You licked my royal crest first!”
Emperor Yi has absolutely no dignified manner…. Is he really the emperor? Maybe Lucia was right. He’s clearly an individual who lost his memory.
“Don’t say it like that!” Lucia’s arm once again wrapped around the emperor’s neck. Then, with smooth, practiced motions, Lucia’s hand slid around Emperor Yi’s body like a snake, and everything that looked valuable was stripped. I, I don’t think he even noticed. “Sheesh. People will misunderstand!”
“Father!” Who was that? Dozens of people were soaring through the air, heading straight towards us! Of course, with the wall disappearing, all the princes and princesses would come out to investigate once their father’s aura went missing.
Lucia’s jaw dropped open as she released the emperor. She looked down and plucked out the arrow in her chest before tossing it aside, blood spurting from the gaping hole. In a second, her flesh wriggled and healed, leaving behind her tanned skin underneath a partially torn robe. “Hey, Mr. Not Attractive,” Lucia said and pointed at the incoming crowd. “Those people are calling you father. And they’re wearing the same thing that thirtieth prince was wearing….” Her eyes widened. “Are you actually the emperor!?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” my grandfather said as Emperor Yi glared at Lucia.
Lucia tilted her head. “But then why’s he so weak? How could he have so many women with no looks, no money, and no power? Don’t you think he looks like the kind of person who’d die alone?”
Emperor Yi winced and clutched his chest, blood leaking from his lips.
Lucia blinked and scratched her head. “Ah. Another heart devil gained. Which poor fellow was it this time?”
***
Hmm. Maybe, just maybe, I messed up. And Ilya says I don’t know how to admit my mistakes. I made a teensy-tiny misjudgment about this man who’s currently being choked by my arm. It turns out, he was actually the emperor. Who knew? There’s no reason for an emperor to wander around looking like a sixteen-year-old! That’s just asking to be mistaken for someone he’s not! Right. This isn’t my fault. This is the emperor’s fault. I’m sure he’s not sixteen; he’s using some kind of disguise that makes him look younger. …I wonder if he’ll teach me it—not that I look old enough to need it.
“Father, is this the expert who stole our wall?”
And now there’s a giant group of princes and princesses hovering nearby the boat. If all of them shot me with arrows at once, then I’d be screwed! It’s a good thing I have this human shield.
“No! Don’t be stupid. This foxkin’s merely an earth-realm … expert.” Emperor Yi struggled in my grasp, so I tightened my grip. I can’t let my only safety insurance escape!
“But she’s suppressing you….” One of the princes at the front, that didn’t resemble Emperor Yi at all was leading the pack and doing all the talking. Emperor Yi’s so lucky to have this many children. Even after trying with Durandal for over a year, I’m not even pregnant! It can’t be that I’m sterile, right? That’s impossible. I can be shot in the heart and regenerate! Surely my eggs are just as sturdy. Then is it Durandal’s issue…? Maybe I should have a doctor see him. Mm. I’ll do that as soon as I plant him in a sword. Oh! Sword! Emperor Yi’s a sky-realm expert. Surely he has a sky-realm-ranked sword. I’ll check through the interspacial ring I stole later. I might not even have to kidnap a blacksmith’s child. Hmm. Emperor Yi’s such a long name. I’ll call him Yiyi from now on.
“This isn’t suppression,” Yiyi said and glared at his son. Honestly, his son looks like the father, and he looks like the son. Maybe women in the Immortal Continent like childish-looking men? How else would Yiyi have so many women? Clearly, everyone’s an immoral pervert. Ah, it’s tough being the only normal person, but thankfully, I already have a lot of experience ignoring everyone’s looks. “This is friendly skinship.”
That’s right! This is a friendly gesture totally not meant to incapacitate people! I nodded twice to play along. But why was Yiyi helping me out? I know! Th
is is all about face! He can’t go around saying he, a sky-realm expert, lost to me, an earth-realm expert. That’s…. Holy crap. I’m amazing, aren’t I? Are all sky-realm experts this weak?
“Then … you’re courting her, Father? Is now the time? The great wall has gone missing!”
“Hey, Yiyi. Are you really courting me?” I’m taken! And I already told him he was unattractive!
“Court your mother! You’re the one who tried to seduce me first!” Yiyi glowered at me. I could feel his gaze piercing me. Literally. Lasers of qi were shooting out of his eyes and burning my skin. “And what did you just call me? Yiyi? Only my first wife, the empress, can call me that!”
“What action did I take to seduce you, damnit!? I know I’m beautiful, charming, naturally attractive, and irresistible, but I didn’t even give you a single hint of affection!” It looks like I have to rename Yiyi. How about … Quick Shot? Right, it has the same number of syllables and accurately reflects his nature. It’s perfect! “But fine. I’ll call you Quick Shot from now on, alright?”
Quick Shot twitched and blood flowed out of his mouth like vomit. “W-who’s a quick shooter!? Just because I have a lot of children doesn’t mean I have no stamina!”
What does children have to do with stamina and shooting arrows quickly? There’s something wrong with Quick Shot’s head. I might not have wiped out his memories when I smacked him, but I certainly addled something. Mm. I even planted a heart devil into him just now. For some reason, planting heart devils in people always makes them vomit out blood. Maybe the heart devil literally resides in the heart like a lump and forces out excess blood? Nah. Even I know the heart isn’t connected to the mouth! I learned that through a lot of dismembering of beasts. “Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever. Just tell your children to go away, okay? They’re really intimidating with all their bows drawn.” When I gave Quick Shot an extra squeeze, all the princes and princesses drew their bows.
“What are you unfilial children doing, pointing a bow at your own father!?” Quick Shot shouted. Qi flew out of his mouth like shockwaves, pushing back his children and causing their faces to turn red. Wow. I wonder if I can do that. I’ll try it! I’ll call it Breaking Shout!
I’ll put all my qi into the back of my mouth and…. “Testing!” It worked! Qi flew out of my mouth like the shockwave from an explosion and collided into the group of flying people. They were knocked so far away that I couldn’t see them anymore. Whew. If I do this every time I shout out a sword technique, I’ll get too tired too fast. That took up a lot more energy than expected.
“You … copied my royal family’s secret Dragon Roar Technique….” Quick Shot stared at me in awe. I’m sure that’s awe and not fear. And what secret technique? How is it even close to a secret!? Anyone can figure it out in one glance!
“If you wanted to keep it a secret, you shouldn’t have done it. Mm.” I nodded. Damn. I’m so wise when I’m focused. Well, I’m always wise, but only when I’m focused am I able to enlighten other people with my wisdom.
Quick Shot’s face fell. “…It took me ten years to learn that.”
What? Really? “Uh, I know I’m a genius who learns really quickly, but, um, maybe you’re just an idiot?” Oh! The heart devil grew even more! It’s just begging me to harvest it. I wonder how strong I’ll grow from a sky-realm expert’s heart devil. I haven’t been cultivating the technique because it’s too upsetting to use when Durandal’s not around to relieve the frustration that comes with it.
“…You’re really infuriating, do you know that?”
Me? Infuriating? That’s a first. “I think you mispronounced infatuating.” Mm. That must be the case. Anyways, I have a mission to accomplish! “Quick Shot, when are you going to start the King Province Exchange? I need to win it as a backup plan!”
***
With the power of Lucia, somehow, we were invited into the imperial city’s royal palace. The royal palace is larger than my father’s territory back at home in terms of overall acres, which just goes to show how large that giant’s femur bone fragment was. I still can’t believe a giant of that size existed and walked the earth. I mean, seriously, just a portion of its femur reached the clouds. That’s a walking disaster! Surely, if giants were common and had places to live in, then I’d be able to see those structures from anywhere on the Immortal Continent, but I can’t. Ugh, forget it. I’m only obsessing about the giant because I was wrong and the wall was actually a bone.
We, the whole dozen people who made up the Shadow Devil Sect representatives, were shown a place to stay while the royal family prepared the King Province Exchange and cleaned up the mess caused by the wall disappearing. Luckily, one of the previous emperors had foresight and set up a substitute defensive formation over a thousand years ago just in case the wall was destroyed. I don’t know why they’re so trusting of something from that long ago in the past, but it’s not just the royal family who’s like that. Apparently, all the sects adhere rigidly to tradition, believing that the things left behind by their ancestors were greater than anything they themselves could ever come up with. It’s such a stupid train of thought! Innovation is key! Without innovation, magic wouldn’t exist! It’s funny how the Immortal Continent is the one that’s stuck in the past despite my home being the one that’s the pocket dimension. Well, it’s not like I can’t understand their logic. Some of these sects’ ancestors became immortals. If they follow in those immortals’ footsteps, then won’t they become immortal themselves?
And now Lucia’s staring at a ring that suspiciously looks like a royal crest. “Lucia, what are you doing?”
“I’m trying to figure out how this interspacial ring works,” Lucia said and squinted at the bow-and-arrow design. She flipped it back and forth, up and down, before sighing. “It’s a mystery.”
No. You’re just an idiot. When did I become so bitter? Ahem, anyways…. “If you’re trying to open it like it’s an interspacial ring, and it’s not opening, then what should that tell you about the ring?”
“That there’s a secret mechanism that needs to be unlocked first!” Lucia growled at the ring before biting it, breaking off the tip of the arrow with her teeth. “Hmm. That didn’t work either.”
I’ll try to slowly guide Lucia to the right answer. If I tell her it’s not an interspacial ring straight out, she won’t believe me. But if she comes to the conclusion herself, then she’ll realize it really isn’t an interspacial ring. “Are all rings interspacial rings?”
“They can be.” Lucia stopped fidgeting with the royal crest and stared at me. “You can turn this into one, right?”
Well, yes, I could. But creating interspacial rings leaves one completely drained of mana for a while, so I’ve avoided it ever since doing it the first time. “I can, but I won’t. Alright, so if every ring has the potential to be an interspacial ring, then that means some rings currently aren’t interspacial rings, right?”
“Right….” Lucia furrowed her brow. Was she going to understand soon? Her head tilted to the side as the wrinkles on her forehead disappeared. “But it’s impossible for this ring to not be an interspacial ring. Why would they make such a fancy ring and not make it hold stuff too?”
Well, I tried. “Some people like useless things. It’s like assigning value to gold because it’s shiny. Gold’s worth has nothing to do with its capabilities. That crest isn’t an interspacial ring, so you can stop trying to open it now.” Seriously, for the past three hours, she was making strange clicking noises while puzzling over it. She consumed the largest bone of focus ever in existence, but it doesn’t matter if she’s focused so intently on something that’s wrong.
“What? No way! It has to be an interspacial ring!”
“Is that ring on your finger an interspacial ring?” I pointed at the ring Lucia wore on her left ring finger. She made a matching pair for herself and Durandal a while back.
“No. It’s a disguise! When people want to steal my stuff, they take it instead of the real ring that’s
hidden.”
“Right. And why can’t other people do that?”
Lucia’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. “I was tricked! Quick Shot is such a slimy bastard! How dare he fool me with a fake ring!?”
A soft cough echoed through the room. Softie opened her eyes and smiled at me with a look of disdain. I was being looked down on? “Actually, Lucia was right. It’s an interspacial ring. It’s just bound to Emperor Yi and Lucia’s qi isn’t condensed enough to shatter a sky-realm expert’s sealing mechanism.” Softie walked over to Lucia and placed her hand on top of the interspacial ring. “Don’t listen to Ilya, Lucia. She’s wrong.”
This bitch. Now I remember why I became so bitter over this past year. She’s trying to steal my spot by Lucia’s side! Everything she says about me is to discredit me. She never says anything good about me. Phew. Calm down, Ilya. Softie’s just a jealous, selfish child because of her upbringing. Since I became her grandmother’s disciple, she thought I was taking her place in her grandmother’s heart. You’re mature and responsible, Ilya. There’s no reason for you to be mad at someone who’s so immature.
Lucia’s brow wrinkled. “But Ilya’s never wrong.”
Softie’s voice softened as she whispered into Lucia’s ear like some kind of courtesan in bed, “Wasn’t she wrong about the wall not being a bone? Don’t you believe me? Once you become a sky-realm expert, you’ll be able to open this ring.” Softie’s eyes narrowed for a second as she gave me a sly glance without turning her head away from Lucia. A little smirk appeared on her lips that quickly went away as her face softened once more when Lucia turned to face her.
That settles it. I’m going to murder her in her sleep one day. It’ll be tough since she’s technically stronger than me, but I’m resourceful. There’s plenty of ways to go about it. I could pretend to be Lucia, sneak into Softie’s bed, and stab her in the throat when she tries to do immoral things to me. Don’t think I don’t know how you look at Lucia, Softie! And Lucia won’t believe me if I try to expose Softie’s crafty nature. No, she might believe me, actually, but she’ll say something stupid and fuel her narcissism like, “It’s only natural for Softie to fall so in love with someone as perfect as me that she became jealous of you!” Well, it’s not like Softie’s trying to harm Lucia. The only person she’s trying to get rid of is me. But I’ll teach Softie her place with this newfound skill I picked up.
