by Virlyce
Bang!
Gah, fuck! I was wrong. I can’t cut apart lightning! This stupid necklace of intelligence failed me in my time of need! That really, really hurt! I’m going to die. I can’t move my limbs; they’re twitching too much! I’ll circulate my qi to recover—another ball of lightning already formed!? I’m going to die at this rate! I’m really, really going to die! “Durandal! Help!”
Durandal didn’t move. He was still crying, and his face was buried in his hands. I don’t think he can even hear me! If I live, I’m never ever going to use the Despairing Blade on him again! For now, I’ll take some buildings out of my interspacial ring and take shelter under them. These buildings belonged to the Bloody Bull Sect; they’re sturdier than most! They should stop at least one lightning ball; there’s a hundred buildings stacked together!
Crash!
Shit! I was wrong again! I think my tail’s on fire. My newly refurred tail! It’s already ruined! But that’s not the biggest issue. I can’t hear anything other than this constant ringing in my head. And my vision is blurring in and out. Ah, is that another ball of lightning? It formed so quickly…. How is anyone supposed to survive a tribulation!? This is horseshit! If my Breaking Madness Blade Strike didn’t work, then I’ll pull out my strongest technique. “See my might and despair, you dumb tribulation! Despairing Blade!”
Durandal sobbed harder.
Boom!
Fuck! It was useless! Ah, I can’t feel my limbs. I can’t even pull anything out of my interspacial ring. I’m tired…. Is this it? Am I dying? I think I’m going to die. I can see my life flash before my very eyes: I didn’t even know how to crawl when my grandfather tried to drown me in a barrel. I didn’t even know how to talk when my parents sold me to the slave traders. I didn’t know how to count when I was sold to a noble. I didn’t know how to read when I was sold to the army. …I still don’t know how to read. Why was my life so shitty? I want a redo! Gah! I can’t be killed off, not like this! Not to some stupid lightning ball that only has one testicle!
Kaboom!
Ow...? Mm, that one didn’t actually hurt. I don’t think I can feel pain anymore. Maybe my skin melted off. Hah…. So much for willpower. So much for growing stronger and surpassing my limits in a desperate time. So much for being saved at the last minute by Durandal or some other plot device…. Ah, I feel cold. I can barely even see anymore. It’s dark. So, so dark…. My body’s so heavy…, comfortable…. Once that last ball of lightning forms and crashes down on me, I really will die…? Are the clouds dispersing? There’s, there’s no ball of lightning forming!? The tribulation’s over!? I, I passed!?
***
I hope Lucia’s okay. A sky-realm tribulation isn’t supposed to last that long! According to what I’ve read, a sky-realm expert’s tribulation only has one lightning bolt. My grandfather must be shocked as well; four lightning strikes rained down on Lucia! Does this mean the heavens have assessed Lucia’s strength as that of four sky-realm experts’? Or perhaps the heavens really wished to exterminate Lucia; after all, four is a horrifically unlucky number….
The first bolt was enough to nearly make my heart stop. When another three strikes rained down on the mountaintop, I, I think I died emotionally. Lucia…. I really hope she survived. T-that settles it. If Lucia makes it back safe and sound, I’ll, I’ll ask her to be my cultivation companion for life. I don’t want to regret anything! Almost losing Lucia made me realize how dear she is to me. I know that she has no redeeming aspects, and she’s a bit loony and hyperactive, but I want to stay by her side for as long as possible. Though that might not be very long since she’s a sky-realm expert now…. She’ll move on to bigger and better pastures…. I’m making myself depressed.
Ow!? Someone slapped my back! “I’m sure Lucia will be fine,” Ilya said and tugged on my robe, smoothing out the wrinkle her palm caused. “You should stop looking so worried and down. What would Lucia think if she knew how little faith you had in her?”
“A-are you trying to cheer me up?” Ilya? Supporting me? There’s, there’s something wrong. Maybe Lucia died!?
“Somehow, that made you panic even more,” Ilya said and sighed. “Look. Judging purely by the number of lightning bolts, wasn’t Lucia’s earth-realm tribulation a lot more arduous? It lasted much longer too; the clouds are already dispersing.”
“C-clouds disperse early when the cultivator dies during a tribulation.” Lucia’s dead. She’s really dead. I, I’ve experienced a lot of loss in my life: my parents, my pet rock, my dignity, and now Lucia…. The Immortal Continent is a cruel place where only the truly strong can survive. Death is a natural occurrence; I understand that. But losing Lucia….
“Softie? What’s up? You look glum. And Ilya! My necklace became faulty! I want a new one.”
L-Lucia!? “You’re alive!” I tackled Lucia and buried my head into her chest. So this is what people mean when they say a sense of relief washes over them. Like a boulder was lifted off my back, all the feelings of negativity and anxiety are gone. “I thought you were dead!”
“H-hey! Don’t cry on me!” Lucia wiggled around, but I didn’t let her go. This is the technique I learned from her after being trapped in her grasp in bed all the time! It’s not perfect because I don’t have a tail, but it’s good enough for clinging onto someone. But Lucia should be a lot stronger than me since she’s a sky-realm expert now. Could it be she’s not throwing me off on purpose? She wants me to embrace her like this! “Whew. I’m too exhausted right now to argue, but I’m definitely punishing you later for not letting go!”
…Sometimes Lucia has trouble expressing her true feelings. Since she decided to punish me later, that means she wants me to spend as much time clinging to her now while I still can. Oh, right. “Where’s my grandfather? Is he alright?” He stayed behind to shield the sect from the tribulation. I hope nothing happened to him.
“Oh, he’s fine. He went down to collect the impurities before they drained into the earth or something,” Lucia said. She pulled a mattress out of her interspacial ring and dumped it onto the ground in the center of the sect. Then she wrapped her arms around me and fell forward, completely limp. “I’m so tired. I thought I was going to die. Dumb Durandal….”
“What did Durandal do?” I asked. She didn’t answer. “Lucia?” She fell asleep already…. She must’ve been drained. A tribulation with four times the difficulty as a normal one; it’s a miracle she’s only tired. Wait, doesn’t this mean our Shadow Devil Sect has a sky-realm expert now? Our standing in Kong County is bound to increase. No, we might even become notable in all of King Province. We won the King Province Exchange and obtained a sky-realm expert. We’re a first-rate sect now! Lucia’s even stronger than our ancestor. Does that mean she’s our new ancestor? But she’s a bit too young to be an ancestor; I’m sure she’ll get mad at us if we call her that.
“Everyone, I have an announcement to make,” my grandfather’s voice echoed through the central plaza where everyone had gathered to avoid the tribulation. I looked up. My grandfather was standing on a flying sword, his beard pushed to one side by the wind. “As of this moment, Chosen Fluffytail is no longer a chosen of our sect. The elders and I have come to a unanimous decision: Lucia Fluffytail shall be referred to as Sect Leader Fluffytail from now on! I’ve heard nothing but good things about Sect Leader Fluffytail’s decision-making and leadership skills, and I have no doubt our sect will prosper under her watch!” My grandfather cleared his throat. “And I personally witnessed her surpassing a tribulation with strength beyond my imagination. With one strike of her sword, she destroyed the first lightning bolt! With her quick thinking, she set up a barrier that prevented another strike. Through a mysterious technique, she reduced the damage of the third blow. And after realizing how pitiful the tribulation was, she willingly surrendered all resistance and let the last strike of the tribulation wash over her, baptizing her body, tempering herself to reach further heights! With a sect leader as valiant and heroic as her, our Shadow
Devil Sect shall climb to the top of the Immortal Continent!” My grandfather swept his arm to the side, summoning a breeze that brushed past all of us, causing our robes to ripple. “Please, Sect Leader Fluffytail, come up and deliver a speech for us. Let us know the direction in which you want us to head.”
Everyone turned to stare at the bed Lucia and I were resting in. My face turned red as a line of drool leaked out of Lucia’s mouth, seeping into the robe on my chest. Her not-loud-but-definitely-not-silent snores echoed through the otherwise silent plaza. “She’s sleeping, Grandfather.”
“…Oh.”
Chapter 25
“Sect Leader Fluffytail is awake!”
Hmm? Where am I? All I remember is barely crawling down the mountaintop after surviving my tribulation and … talking to Softie. Did I fall asleep? Mm. I’m on a mattress in the center of the sect. Whew, I hope people didn’t see me drool. It’s a good thing I don’t snore; otherwise, people would stare. But Sect Leader Fluffytail? Who’s that? I knew Fluffytail was a completely normal name when Ilya told me it was strange! If even a sect leader has the same last name as me, then it has to be an acceptable one. Mm.
Softie reached towards my face and wiped the crud out of my eyes. “Good morning, Sect Leader Fluffytail.”
Me…? “Sect leader?”
“That’s right,” Softie said and smiled. “Since you became a sky-realm expert, you’re the strongest person in our sect. My grandfather made an announcement: from this day forward, you’re our leader. Your display of leadership skills, conquering Kong County, winning the King Province Exchange, obtaining many merits at the Gates of Hell, all contributed to his decision.”
…When Softie puts it that way, doesn’t that mean I’m amazing? With my charisma and charm, I swayed a group of a million people, putting them under my rule! That’s a whole million people! That’s a thousand thousands! And I always thought I’d amount to nothing while I was growing up, but look at me now.
“I’m glad you’re happy about it, Lucia,” Softie said. She lowered her head. “I was worried you might not like it. My grandfather didn’t ask for your opinion before making you sect leader, but it seems like he made the right choice. The fate of our sect rests on your shoulders; I believe in you, Lucia.”
The fate of the sect…. Wait, wait, wait! Isn’t this actually a huge responsibility!? I hate responsibilities! One time, I was responsible for watering that noble’s plants back when I was little, and I watered it too much so it died! Then I was beaten with a wooden stick. Right, responsibilities aren’t good things. But I like the sound of Sect Leader Fluffytail…. I know! I’ll make Ilya responsible for everything important, but I’ll pretend I’m the one making all the decisions. I’ll make Ilya my puppet ruler! …Or does that make me the puppet? Hmm.
Ah, wait. Ilya wants to go home to the pocket realm; I can’t make her my puppet. Can I take the sect with me? Nah, there’s not enough space for them. I think. Mm, there definitely isn’t. And am I staying in the Immortal Continent to watch over them? I wanted to hide in the pocket realm where immortals wouldn’t be looking to slaughter me…. Is the joy of being sect leader more important, or is my life more important…? Hmm. Why is this decision so tough? It’s probably because Ilya’s necklace of intelligence stopped working.
“Lucia? Hello, Lucia?” Softie waved her hand in front of my face. “Did you hear me? My grandfather wants you to deliver a speech for your inauguration. We decided to hold a banquet for you on the night of the day you woke up, which is tonight. There’s still some time before it starts; do you want me to help you come up with something?”
“A speech from me? What am I supposed to say?” I’ve never prepared a speech in my life! I remember listening to a noble’s speech once while walking through the market. I was amazed at how he could speak so much without forgetting his lines! Later, I found out he was just reading off a scroll in his hand. But I can’t do that—memorizing a long speech is impossible and reading is even more impossible! “Mm, alright, Softie. Make and deliver the speech for me, thanks. That’s my first order as sect leader.”
“I can’t do that, Lucia. This is your speech! It makes no sense for me to deliver a speech in your stead.”
I took off the bracelet that Ilya had given me and wrapped it around Softie’s wrist. “This thing lets your appearance change into anything you want. Just turn into me so people think I’m the one delivering the speech; problem solved! Oh, and give it back when you’re done.” I have more important things to do than preparing a speech. Like fixing Durandal! If it wasn’t for his sobbing ass, I wouldn’t’ve suffered so much during my tribulation! Mm, but I have to find a private place to fix him. The chosens’ mountain! No one’s allowed there except for me and Softie.
“Lucia, wait!” Softie said.
But it was too late. I already teleported away. Good luck with the speech, Softie; I believe in you! Alright. “Durandal, come on out!”
A sobbing spirit appeared in front of me. He cried about his insecurities, but I’m not going to say what they were because they should be kept private! Anyways, what did Softie say the fix was? Cold water? Let’s hope it works. I pulled a barrel of cold water out of my interspacial ring and dumped it onto Durandal. He yelled and stiffened while standing up. He whirled around to face me, pulling out his sword at the same time. “Lucia? Weren’t we dueling just now? Why am I wet?”
“Because you’re turned on?”
“…Did something happen? The aura you’re giving off is … different.” Durandal frowned and completely ignored my comment. Rude. He glared at me, and his killing intent washed over me, but my tail didn’t stiffen. Hah! Now that I’m a sky-realm expert too, I don’t have to be scared of him anymore! Everything is right in the world.
Let’s test how much stronger I got! “Breaking Madness Blade Strike!”
“Incredible!” Durandal shouted as he raised his sword to block mine. “I don’t know what happened, but you improved, Lucia. Path of the Sword: Ascending Phoenix Slash!” His sword turned red and flames appeared on its blade! Why didn’t he teach me something as pretty as that!? Our swords collided. There was a giant bang, and Durandal … went flying away. He crashed into a cliffside, and the whole cliff collapsed on top of him. Did he die!?
The rubble rustled and a hand poked through the top of the debris. Durandal coughed as he dug himself out, blood pouring from his nose, mouth, ears, and eyes like a fountain. He looked freaking scary! He coughed up a few mouthfuls of blood before shaking his head. “Lucia. That’s not enough to defeat … me….” Then he vanished. I felt him reenter new-mini-DalDal with my qi. I guess he did die…. Ah, the struggles of being a genius. Finding a sparring partner is impossible. But wow, I really did get super strong! I should’ve cultivated without impurities a lot earlier. Then I could’ve beaten up that crown prince of Kang Country to take his sky-realm-ranked sword without needing merits. But if I didn’t set out to obtain those merits, would I have planted enough heart devils to become this strong? Mm. Well, you know what they say! Good things happen to good people. I deserve this strength!
***
I wonder when Durandal will fulfill his deal with me. Yeah, I gave him a necklace that doesn’t actually do anything in exchange for my passage home, but what else was I supposed to do? Lucia expects me to fix Durandal’s sterility, but I’m not omniscient! I don’t know everything there is to know in the world. I’m not even twenty years old yet. It’s not like I haven’t thought about how to fix Durandal, but I simply have no idea where to even start. Quite frankly, I have zero experience with sex. How am I supposed to figure out the mechanism to create babies and figure out why Durandal doesn’t follow that norm? It’s impossible without extensive research, but that’s not the kind of research I want to delve into! I’m fine with dissecting bodies and salvaging them for medicinal ingredients, but there’s something about genitals that makes me avoid them. I think it has to do with some underlying trauma caused by adventuring with Lucia.
“Ilya!”
Think of the devil and the squirrelkin shall appear. “Yes?” I’ve given up on telling her to stop teleporting into my room. I don’t know how she always manages to find me. This is a cave I’ve never been to before in the sect—she probably asked someone, huh?
Lucia skipped towards my desk, her eyes lighting up. She dipped her hand into my still boiling cauldron and pulled out a few medicinal pills, throwing them into her mouth as if they were snacks. “We’re going home to the pocket realm!” She fanned her mouth with her hands. “Ah, this is hot.”
My pills…. Well, I was going to give some of them to her anyway. “When are we going?”
“How about after the banquet celebrating my rise to sect leader?” Lucia nodded as she pulled out a cup of hot chocolate, rinsing her mouth with it. “I’ve decided; it’s more important to hide and stay alive than it is to show off my prowess as sect leader. What if one of my apparitions provokes another immortal? Besides, I can always take Softie and Claw and the people that I really like into the pocket realm too. I won’t be missing out on anything!”
I thought saint-realm people and above weren’t allowed inside of pocket realms if they weren’t born there. That’s why only mortal-realm disciples invaded, no? Well, I’m sure Lucia will figure something out once she realizes. Will she? Either way, Durandal promised to open the way back for me. It won’t matter even if Lucia changes her mind. “But don’t you feel bad for abandoning the Shadow Devil Sect like this? They’re going to go through a great ceremony to inaugurate you, yet you’re going to leave after they’re done.”
