Without looking at the man next to me, I bring my water bottle to my lips and take a long sip. He clears his throat after a moment, obviously wanting my attention. Shifting my gaze to him, I arch a brow and wait for him to speak.
“He’s not my first choice, but since I got no say in what you do in your life. I want you to know that I’ll stand behind you, whatever you choose.”
I could smirk and give him a smartass response. It’s what I want to do, but I don’t. Something tells me that it wouldn’t be appreciated, or received well. I honestly don’t care if I hurt his feelings, but I’m a better person than that.
“I’m not going to be branded by him,” I say, shifting my gaze toward the bar.
The prospect that is working behind it is all the way at the end, leaning over and talking to that whore, Sable. Luckily, nobody is paying attention to our conversation, Taz still needs to look like an alpha in front of his men, this would give him a direct blow, which would piss him off.
“Yeah? You say that now,” Hawk grunts.
Turning my head, I look at my father. He is handsome, his blue eyes match mine, but his hair is black. I don’t know how he hasn’t turned gray yet, but there is only a little at his temples.
He looks tired though and I know some of that is because of me. He wants to at least be my friend, and I’m making it really fucking hard.
“I’m not his Old Lady, I never will be. What I want from him he’s not willing to give me. My mother was a lot of things, but I also learned a lot from her life choices. I want a man who loves me. A man who can give up side pieces because I’m simply enough and he wants me to be happy. I need a man who can take care of me the way that I need it. The thing is, I also know from living here and out there,” I say waving my hand toward the door.
“Those men do not really exist. My friends were lucky that Silver, Dragon, Wolfe, and Eagle found what they needed in their men to give them all that I’ve described. I’m under no illusions that Taz or any other man on this planet will be so thoughtful.”
Hawk reaches for me, wrapping his hand around mine. He squeezes and I try to ignore the look of pity on his face, but I fail. He shakes his head once, reaching for his beer bottle with his other hand and brings it to his lips. I watch as he takes a pull, then levels me with a gaze.
“I fucked up with you. Thought I was doing right by you, but I wasn’t, I see that now. I can’t go back, if I could, I would have done shit so much differently. One of those things would be to show you exactly how you deserve to be treated.”
“I appreciate that,” I say and I do. It’s as close to an apology for his abandonment as I’ll ever receive.
He clears his throat, then decides to keep going. “Also, I don’t want you going back to your previous employer in Los Angeles. You want to go to school, learn a trade, whatever, I’ll pay for it. You aren’t a call girl, never have been that kind of girl.”
I want to tell him to fuck off, that he doesn’t know what kind of girl I am, but I can’t, because he’s right. It’s why I haven’t slept with my clients, at least why I only slept with one of them.
I’m not that girl, but when I walk away from Taz this time, all of me will be broken. I have no doubt that I’ll be that girl by the time he’s finished stomping on my heart.
“Don’t give another person the ability to ruin your life. You come by that trait honestly. I allowed my life to be ruined. I gave up the only person I ever loved in this world, all because I ran fucking scared. Don’t be me.”
He doesn’t say anything else. I watch as he stands to his feet then walks away from me. Pressing my lips together, my eyes follow him as he walks up to Sable. She immediately stands as he slides his arm around her shoulders and together the two of them disappear down the hallway.
“He’s right,” a deep voice rumbles from behind me.
Spinning around on my barstool, I tip my head back and look into Dragon’s gray gaze. His lips are curved up into a grin and I just shake my head. He reaches over my shoulder and raps his knuckles on the bar.
Less than a minute later he has a drink in his hand and spreads his legs, his feet planted in front of me and his eyes focused on mine. I wait for him to speak, knowing he has some wisdom that he’s about to impart.
“You aren’t a whore. Known you your whole life, girl.”
I snort. He isn’t lying though. I was born when he was seventeen years old. He’s been like an uncle to me, just like the rest of the men in this group, all except Taz. I don’t know why, but Taz has never felt like an uncle, not even when I was a kid. He’s always just been…Taz.
“Sorry, but technically that’s what I am and when I go back, there will be no technicalities about it.”
“I’m thinking you need to talk to Bellarosa about how that goes. What it makes you feel on the inside. I know that you’re not the same girl as her, but as someone who lived that life for a while, maybe you need the unedited version?”
I love, love, that Dragon wants to help me. He wants to make sure that I don’t fuck up my life. It’s amazing to have that kind of love and support from him. But I am not Bellarosa, I know what to expect.
I know that you feel empty when the deed is finished. I know that a piece of you breaks and can never be repaired. I also know that being with Taz feels the exact same way.
Knowing he wants to keep me, but doesn’t want to be mine. Understanding that being with him means never having him to myself, always sharing his body with whoever he decides he wants at that moment. That kills me. Absolutely kills me.
“I’m not staying here, Dragon. Nobody will be able to talk me into being branded by Taz.”
He nods, his eyes never leaving mine. “You don’t have to be branded, babe. Whatever you want, it’s yours. You’re Hawk’s daughter, but more importantly, you’re ours. You have always belonged to the Beasts. There is a special place in all of our hearts for you. We helped raise you and we will never turn our backs on you, Trista.”
Tears fill my eyes. They don’t fall, but they are on the verge as I shift my gaze to my feet and inhale a deep breath. Blinking them away, I lift my eyes to meet his gray ones.
“I appreciate that, but I’m twenty-two years old. I need to figure life out on my own. This is my choice, Dragon. When I leave here, you’re no longer responsible for me.”
He jerks his chin. I think that he’s going to say something else, but a shadow crosses his features before he abruptly turns and walks away from me. Licking my lips, I take another sip of water, feeling Taz’s gaze on me from across the room.
I don’t acknowledge him. He’ll come to me if he wants, or be an ass and call me to him. Either way, he’ll get what he wants, he always does. Just like I suspect, a few seconds later he’s right next to me.
My breath hitches when I feel his lips skim the side of my neck. Turning my body slowly, I face him and look up into his eyes. He lifts his hand, reaching out and wrapping his fingers around the back of my neck.
“Why do you make me feel so fucking crazy inside?” he asks.
My lips slowly turn up into a grin. “Because you can’t keep me exactly where you want me, the way that you want me. I’m not as submissive as you want me to be.”
“But you are, submissive that is.” He grins.
My heart skips a beat at the sight of his smile as he stares down at me. He’s sexy. From the way his skin crinkles at the sides of his eyes, to his straight-toothed smile, and everything else about him.
Crossing one leg over the other, I arch a brow, my lips twitching into a small smile. “I am?”
He hums, lowering his face before he runs his nose alongside my own. “Oh yeah, just the way I like it, too. Submissive, but full of fucking back-talkin’ sass. Makes me hard, beautiful. So soft at your core. It’s sexy as fuck.”
I can’t even make myself breathe through his words. They’re too much. He is too much. Everything he says makes me fall that much more in love with him. I shouldn’t. I need to get away as fast
as possible.
TAZ
Trista’s breath hitches. Goddamn, I could fuck her again right now. But I don’t have time. Pulling her closer to me, I dip my chin, touching my mouth to hers. Sliding my tongue out, I taste her lips. She tastes like coffee, toothpaste, and just pure her.
“I got some shit to do for the club the rest of the day. You’re good here?” I ask.
Her eyes slowly open, then I watch as she licks her plump lips before her shoulder lifts in a shrug. “I was thinking of heading over to Silver’s to see the baby,” she murmurs.
Frowning, I look behind me, then shift my gaze back over to her. “Wait until I get back. I’ll take you.”
She snorts softly. “Do you really think something is going to happen to me in Eagar?” she asks.
“I think that I have no fucking clue. I think that Jag is out there having gone completely rogue. I think that we don’t even know what this Angel looks like, let alone is capable of. I think I don’t know a hell of a lot, but I do know that I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
She lifts her hand between us, her palm resting where my heart should be, if I had one. “Yeah, why?”
“Because you’re mine. You’re a Beast by birth, and mine by choice.”
She nods, her gaze shifting to the side before it comes back to meet mine. “And I’ll always be yours,” she whispers.
“You act like we’re done, babe. We ain’t, not by a longshot. What we are is just getting started.”
Trista doesn’t say anything in response. I can tell that she’s given up on me. I don’t blame her. I’m a dick, a selfish one, but she’s mine and I’ll do just about anything to keep her. She stands to her feet, her hand sliding from my chest to the side of my neck as she presses her great fucking tits against me.
“I’m going to see Presley, Buster, and the baby. Then I’ll come back here and when you’re ready for me, I’ll do whatever you want to do. What I won’t do is be controlled by you, not like that, not ever.
“I also am not living in fear. This guy could be out there, or he couldn’t. You made me come here with you, but last I checked I wasn’t chained in the basement, so since I’m not a prisoner and we’re not on lockdown, I’ll do what I want.”
Her words should not make my cock hard, but they do. Gripping her hair in my hand, I tug her head back. Lowering my face, I slide my tongue from the base of her throat, all the way up to her earlobe. Nibbling on the lobe, I tug on it with my teeth before releasing it and moving my lips to her ear.
“Something happens to you and I’m holding your ass responsible. I will take it out on your ass and you can take that to mean anything and everything that you can imagine I’ll do to that sweet ass of yours,” I mutter softly.
She inhales through her nose, then releases her breath. “Guess I better get in trouble then,” she breathes softly.
I snort. “Babe, you want me to fuck your ass, all you gotta do is ask. You want me to spank it, again, just ask. You don’t have to get in trouble for any of that shit,” I say, sliding my hand not holding her hair in a tight fist, down to grab that sweet ass that’s in discussion.
She hums, rubbing her tits against my chest and purring like a goddamn cat. It’s sexy as fuck. Moving my lips to meet hers, I touch my mouth to her own, but don’t slip my tongue inside of her, not yet.
“Maybe I should say, if your shit goes down, I won’t take it out on your ass. Is that scarier?” I ask with a chuckle.
Without warning, she shifts her hand and grabs ahold of my hard cock over the top of my jeans. She squeezes me, a groan escapes my lips as my eyes slowly close. She moves her head and I feel her tongue taste my own neck.
“How about you don’t threaten me, Ridge? As much as I think you’re good in bed, you aren’t the only man on this planet who can give an orgasm and fuck my ass. Threats aren’t sexy. What they do is piss people off,” she snaps.
Visions of that douchebag that dropped her off, that client of hers, crosses my vision and without warning, I pull her head back harder than I intend. My vision is spotty and filled with a red haze as anger and jealousy courses through my entire body.
“How about you do what you’re fuckin’ told? You even think about giving that body to someone else and you won’t have to worry about your punishment so much as watching me mutilate whoever you decide to whore for, how about that shit?” I bark.
Releasing her, I push her away from me before I spin around and walk away from her. I don’t know if she watches me go, if she’s mad, or upset by my words because I can’t fucking do it. I can’t continue this conversation with her.
She’s mine.
No matter how hard she’s fighting it, the bitch isn’t leaving Eagar. She’s not going back to California. She’s not going to spread her legs for any rich fuck that pays the price. She only spreads for me. Only fucking me.
Chapter Thirteen
TRISTA
Asshole.
Stealing my father’s car, I drive toward Silver and Presley’s house. Pulling up in front, I can’t help but think about the words that Taz said to me. How dare he. How fucking dare he try to put those kinds of stipulations on me.
Do what I’m told? Yeah, fucking right. I haven’t done what I was told since I was a little girl and I only did then because my mom would slap the shit out of me if I didn’t.
Then the fact that he had the audacity to tell me I wasn’t allowed to be with anyone else, that he would mutilate them and make me watch? Dickhead. Meanwhile, he has made it perfectly clear he’d be fucking whoever he wanted, probably that Sable bitch. I mean, she did know his real name.
I’ve known him my entire life and I didn’t even know that. Hell, I fell in love with him and didn’t know that his real name is Ridge. Shifting the car into park, I open the door with a huff and slide out.
Fuck Taz.
Fuck him.
I’ll do what I want and if he thinks that I’m going to submit to him, just because, he’s lost his damn mind. I love him and if I thought that he cared for me the way that I do him, then maybe, maybe things would be different. But I know that he doesn’t love me nearly as much as I do him.
“You look good and pissed off,” Silver hums.
My body jerks. Looking in the direction of his voice, I’m not surprised to see him standing in the middle of his garage. The hood of his car is up, he’s got a cigarette hanging from his lips and he’s wearing a tight white t-shirt with grease stains streaking it.
Walking over to him, I stop a few feet away from his body and tilt my head back. “I am, but not at you.” I smile.
“Of course, you aren’t at me.” He grins. “You want to talk about it?”
“It’s stupid. I’m just done with Taz. He’s driving me crazy. He’s trying to put restrictions on me, trying to make me cower down to him. But he’s offering me absolutely nothing in return. I know that’s the life, I know it is, but I don’t want it for me.”
Silver watches me for a moment, his eyes dancing before his expression changes. “Stubborn, like all of us have been at one time or another,” he grumbles. “If he ain’t shit, move on.”
“I tried,” I whisper.
“Didn’t work out for you?”
“You know that it didn’t. I’m right back here, again.”
“You give in and what does that look like?” he asks.
Inhaling a deep breath, I look at the door that leads to the house, thinking that I should be having this conversation with Presley instead of him, but he seems all ready to talk, so I don’t run off. Besides, maybe talking to a man like Taz is better.
“That looks like him doing whatever he wants, his commitment to me is fleeting at best and me having his babies, tethered to him for life, begging for pieces of his time. Never getting all of him.”
Silver nods his head. “I was that man once, hell I think sometimes I’m still that man.”
“You’re not,” I assure him
. “You’re in love with your wife, with your family.”
He lifts his hand and wraps his fingers around the back of his neck. “I am, but at one time I thought I wanted to keep her on the side. Thought that it was best I kept her away from club shit, thought I could just go to her when I wanted to. Figured she’d be a good mom for Buster and that I could separate club and family.”
“That’s impossible,” I whisper.
He shakes his head once. “It’s not. I could have done it, except I didn’t want to. Presley is as much a part of my life as the club is. I don’t want to try and divide my time like that, because she and our family means just as much to me as the club does. I love her.”
“He doesn’t love me,” I mutter.
Silver takes a step toward me, he reaches out and grabs ahold of my shoulder, giving me a gentle shake. Lifting my eyes up, I meet his gaze with my own.
“He does. Any fool can see it. He’s the fool right now, though. He doesn’t know what to do with what he’s feeling.”
“He’s forty-four years old,” I breathe. “He is not some teenager.”
“Yeah, I know. This should all be easier, right?”
“No joke,” I snort.
Silver tugs me toward him and wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. “He may not know how to show it. He’s probably confused, fuck, I know I was when I met Presley. But if you aren’t open and willing for more, it’s just going to be a never ending fight.”
“I miss the Silver who gave no fucks, ran around, and balked at relationships,” I whisper.
He lets out a bark of laughter, then takes a step back from me, releasing me from his arms. “Girl, you have no fucking idea. Go inside and get your baby time in, she’s probably up from her nap right now.”
“See,” I shout, pointing at him.
His brows rise and he tilts his head to the side. “See?”
“You give a shit. You know when your baby wakes up from a nap. I want that. I think I deserve that. I don’t want to be my mom, I don’t want to run like my dad. I just want a real family, for once in my life. But, if I can’t have that, then I want the freedom to do who and whatever the hell I want,” I snap.
UnTouch Me (Savage Beast MC Book 5) Page 11
