by Orr, Krystal
Quickly, the sun faded to oblivion as the moon rose to prominence.
Time resumed.
Chapter 10: Dark Avenues
It felt like days that Talliea had been lost inside her pain and the delirium of her loss, though in reality it had only been a few hours.
After she walked away from the battle between the Esu and the Arnira, she had unknowingly found herself slowing coming upon Li'nas Dei. When the ground had given way beneath her feet, and the wide open canyon been laid out before her, Talliea had realized to where her feet had lead her.
'Li'nas Dei is a place for contemplation. It is said to light ones way when all other avenues seem in shadow.'
Arizira's words from months past had painfully replayed inside Talliea's mind. She had watched the last rays of daylight playfully dance along the canyon walls, a myriad array of colors bringing the otherwise lifeless stone and clay to life. Her throat had constricted as she held Arizira's still body in her arms.
Some time later, she had retired inside the cave that overlooked the breathtaking geological feature and allowed her grief to fully consume her.
"We are together now, love. No one will take you away from me. We are together. We...are..."
Talliea's voice slowed with the thickness of her emotions catching her in the throat. She rapidly blinked tear-laden eyes and wiped away at the moisture on her cheeks. It had been nearly an hour since she had brought Arizira to Li'nas Dei and settled the two of them inside the cave. A fire burned bright and hot in the middle of the enclosure and offered illumination.
Talliea had rummaged through Arizira's packs and found a small basin and several rough pieces of cloth. Filling the basin in the stream that ran behind Li'nas Dei, she had returned to Arizira's body and was currently washing away both dirt and blood. Her love's fair skin glowed with the flames of the fire next to them. Arizira's clothing had been thrown into a corner as Talliea had refused to continue to look upon the blood that covered them.
"I will honor you as you would have wished," she whispered as she dipped another piece of cloth into the basin of cool water. Her hands gently washed away the dark red blood that had dried on Arizira's lips before wiping away any other dirt that touched her face.
All was silent, except for the crackling of the fire, while Talliea cleaned the body of her love. She recalled Arizira telling her of Arniran death rites and various beliefs on the afterlife that her tribe observed.
According to Arizira, Arnira believed that returning to the earth and becoming a part of nature was a part of something they called the Great Circle or the Grand Design. Their bodies were laid to rest in the earth while their spirits were set free to be with Aitla. There, they became stars in the nighttime sky and forever watched over their loved ones from above.
Before returning to the land, the body of the deceased was cleansed by both water and smoke.
Talliea shook her head slowly. Her eyes were indifferent and dull. The cloth in her hands moved from Arizira's face to her neck and down further until it landed between her breasts. The small, reddish hole in Arizira's chest stared back at her in ugly defiance. The skin around the wound was angry and marred while the hole itself was a reminder of everything Talliea had lost.
She felt her breath catch. Her eyes filled with tears so suddenly, she could barely blink them away. Her fingers moved over the wound and she began to wipe away at the blood that had dried on Arizira's ribs and chest.
"You should be talking to me now," Talliea said in a dead tone. "We should be rejoicing in one another, yet you lay here in silence."
Naturally, no response was given and that fact only saddened Talliea even more. Her mind still refused to accept Arizira's death. Despite having the proof of such laying next to her, Talliea still felt as if Arizira was alive. She felt whole, even though she also felt incomplete.
The sensation was a disorienting one and one she refused to think upon. Nothing made sense anymore. Talliea had no direction in her life. She had no meaning, no purpose, no reason for continuing. Her people and Arizira's people would likely fight one another to extinction and she found she did not care. Their affairs were not her affairs.
All that mattered was Arizira. All that mattered was honoring her and ensuring she found her way to Aitla.
After those rites were observed, Talliea planned to exact revenge upon Bela'luin and Lao'dahn. The two of them were responsible for every bad thing that had happened to her. They had meddled in her life one too many times and, because of them, her reason for existing was dead.
Talliea's fingers smoothed over Arizira's chest while she sat lost to her thoughts. As she stared at the unsightly wound, she found herself wishing it was not present. It scarred her otherwise perfect love's body and was a reminder of what had happened so very recently. Talliea felt the power inside of her from before become more urgent. She felt it reacting to her thoughts and desires.
Before she was aware, an almost nonexistent light flared beneath her fingertips. When she moved her hand away to study it, she noticed Arizira's flesh was without flaw.
The wound was gone.
She stared at her fingers with wide and confused eyes. How had she done that? How had she commanded time and stopped everything back in the clearing? The Esu and Arnira who had been fighting one another had been unable to move when she had allowed her grief over Arizira to find an outlet.
Leaves and twigs had snapped and ripped apart while rocks and vines had been blown apart from the inside out.
She could not explain what had happened or how she had done what she had done. At the time, the only thought present in her mind was keeping Arizira with her. Those around her had desired to separate the two of them again and she had not been willing to allow that to happen.
As if in answer to her wishes, the power inside of her had answered her call and stopped any further harm from coming to either herself or Arizira. In that one moment, Talliea had been aware of everything happening.
She had been aware of the hidden Arnira watching from the trees and awaiting their chance to join the battle. She had been aware of the other Esu men still marching toward their fellows some distance from the clearing.
Arizira's journey to find her had become clear in her thoughts and she had seen the other woman walking beside a marvelous white wolf. Other parts of Arizira's journey had been obscured.
Talliea had felt as though important information was being kept from her. That fact had mattered little as the power inside of her had continued to release its devastation upon those around her.
Lao'dahn's plans and intentions had been known to her just as Bela'luin's anger toward her had shown itself. She had known, as her power stopped everything around her, that it was Bela'luin who had killed Arizira. Not intentionally, for the tall woman's arrow had been meant for her. Arizira's desire to protect her had caused unforeseen consequences and still Bela'luin had blamed Talliea for the outcome.
Everything happening -- every flap of a bird's wings, every breeze caught in the trees, every animal that existed near to her -- had been known to Talliea. She had seen it all, known it all. Experienced it all. Yet, she had cared for none of it. Arizira was who she desired to protect. It was she whom Talliea fought for.
"How is this possible?" she asked herself in a quiet voice as she stared at her hand and back at Arizira's chest.
Again, she spread her fingers and grazed them over her lover's skin. The skin was warm, like it had been since Talliea had brought her to Li'nas Dei. Unlike other dead that Talliea had witnessed, Arizira did not appear as pale as they had. Her lips were not blue, her skin not as pale, and her body not chilled.
For all intents and purposes, Arizira appeared as if asleep to Talliea. Were Arnira different in death from Esu? Did their bodies not react in the same way?
Talliea stood up and turned her back on Arizira. The inky black sky outside of the cave mirrored the felling that was present in her heart. She felt empty. Alone. Her world was collapsing in on her from
all sides and she felt as if she were choking and suffocating. Digging her palms into her eyes, Talliea felt her insides twist again as new tears came to life.
"I can't...I can't accept this. You..." Talliea's voice was harsh. She felt her tears fall over cheeks that were already sore from their predecessors’ tracks. Her face and nose were red and her lips trembled. Tears pooled around her nostrils and a moment later, Talliea let out a guttural cry.
What was happening to her? Arizira was dead. Both of their peoples were fighting one another. Death and destruction lay behind her while uncertainty loomed before her. The powers she wielded confused her and she had no one to help her. She had no allies, no friends, no Arizira. It was all too much and she could no longer keep everything together.
"You are supposed to be here!" she cried harshly in Arizira's direction. "You are supposed to be here...with me. I can't do this. I need you..."
Falling to her knees next to Arizira, Talliea cried like she had never cried before. Her chest was heavy, her throat tight. Tears continued to fall in hot streaks that stained her face while an overwhelming sense of loss settled inside of her.
"I need you, Ari. Please..." she cried. "I need your help. Why am I still here without you? Tell me what to do..."
Talliea fell against Arizira's body which lay upon a sleeping roll. The fire continued to burn close to them while Talliea cried. She wrapped her arm around Arizira's body and pulled her close.
"Take me with you, love. Take...m-me...please. I love you..."
Her words were soft and ragged and laced with an agony so great it threatened to fulfill Talliea's broken wish. She kissed Arizira's hair line and traced her fingers over her lips. Throwing her leg over Arizira's middle, she held tightly to her frame and cried her sorrows.
Arizira's death rites would have to wait. Talliea was not ready to give her up. She was not ready to say goodbye. She could not accept the end as it was.
She was confused.
She was lost.
She was alone.
The power she wielded, though great, was not enough to take away her pain. The one thing she wanted in all the world, she could not have. And yet, that one thing still appeared to her to be alive. She was warm and still held some color in her tone. Her heart did not beat and her chest did not breathe, but Talliea felt as if a part of Arizira was still present.
It was that feeling that would not allow her to let Arizira go. It was that feeling that kept her trapped and caught between looking back and moving forward.
"I love you. Do you hear me?" Talliea placed a tender kiss on Arizra's lips and trailed a single finger down her cheek. "You are my heart, so why do I still live while you are gone?" A hiccup sounded in the cave followed by a sniffle.
Talliea unclasped her cloak from around her neck and easily settled it over Arizira's nude body. She closed her eyes as her tears fell still down her face. If she allowed herself to forget about the events of the day, she could pretend that Arizira was still here and that the two of them were only falling asleep together.
If she used her imagination, she could trick herself into believing that the two of them were still in that cave from so long ago saying goodbye to another wonderful day together.
If she focused her thoughts hard enough, she could convince herself that Arizira was alive and that their bond could never be severed.
Talliea fell asleep some short time later. Her body was wrapped around Arizira's, the fire dimming slightly behind them. Her hand rested against Arizira's chest -- over her heart, while her lips and nose settled against her hair and cheek.
Yes, everything was okay. Talliea would awake from this nightmare and all would be okay...
* * * * * *
Talliea awoke sharply and sat up. The fire was still burning, but the embers were low and dull. She could not say for how long she had been asleep. It did not feel like much time had passed, but the deep night outside of the cave told her some hours had gone by since last she had been awake.
She turned and looked down at her love beside her. Arizira appeared the same. Her beautiful face was as serene as it had been when Talliea first brought her to Li'nas Dei.
"Ahmanae," Talliea whispered, her eyes growing clouded.
Very quickly, her feelings of anguish and loss welled up inside of her again. She had hoped to wake up and find her life the way she wanted it. She had hoped to wake up to Arizira smiling at her with bright eyes and impish delight. She had wished for a different outcome, one where she did not have to suffer something so painful and all consuming.
And yet, nothing had changed. Nothing was different. She was still alone with her grief and pain. What was the point in her continuing to live? What was the point in her pushing forward? Talliea thought back to her first meeting with Arizira. She remembered her first conversation, her first kiss, her first time. She remembered it all and wondered what the point of any of it had been.
Why had she found Arizira? Why had she found a friend and a safe haven? Why had she found a lover and the other part of herself only for things to end as they had? It was cruel. It was wrong. It was painful and unjust and Talliea could not accept matters. She refused to. Their time could not be over. She still had so many things to tell Arizira. She still had to make love to her.
During their time together, Arizira had been the one bringing Talliea to orgasm. The sensation had been shared by them both through their connection, but Arizira had always been the one leading the two of them. Though Talliea had desired to one day reverse their positions, she had always been of the deluded belief that she and Arizira had all the time in the world to explore one another.
There had been no rush in their caresses, no haste in their embraces. When the two of them had bonded and made love, Talliea had not ever viewed the experience as a last. She had never believed she would one day be ripped apart from Arizira only to find her again and have her die in her arms.
Now, she would never get the chance to make love to Arizira. She could never get to watch her body react or taste the mint present in their kisses. Her time with Arizira was over. They would not share sensations anymore. They would not share memories and thoughts and emotions any longer. The bond that had connected the two of them was over.
Gone.
But, Talliea could still feel it. She thought back to the death rites Arizira had told her about and wondered if the two of them had ever actually had such a conversation. Had Arizira told her of those beliefs or had Talliea recalled them from the other woman's memories? Were that the case, how was she still able to learn in such a way with Arizira no longer being present in the world?
Her errant and wayward thoughts were not able to provide her an answer. A sound suddenly caught her attention and she looked behind her and toward the opening of the cave. A small and wrinkled woman stood against the darkness. Her hair was like Arizira's while her eyes were a light purple. The woman took a step and Talliea reacted on instinct.
Her hand came up between them.
"No," she said.
The old woman was stopped where she was. A familiar and welcome calm settled over Talliea. She was inside her power again and it brought her a much needed bit of comfort.
"I am not here to hurt you, day walker; I am here for her," the old woman said as she looked at Arizira.
Talliea shook her head, her eyes completely black as she held the old woman in place.
"I am sorry, but I do not underst--"
Talliea stopped. The old woman had spoken in Arniran, and yet she understood her speech. A confused look shadowed Talliea’s features.
"You understand because she understood," the woman said, still unable to proceed any farther into the cave. "You have known her words for some time, but were unaware of it."
Talliea felt her confusion continue to grow inside of her. She could not recall ever knowing the Arniran language and yet here she was speaking to this old woman and understanding her speech. Another thought crawled up her spine and whispered inside her ear a
s she recalled what the ancient looking woman had just said.
She had come for Arizira. She was here to take her away. Anger darkened Talliea's eyes as she stood up to face the strange newcomer.
"You will not take her away from me," she said in flawless Arniran. As she spoke, the hand she held between herself and the woman spread into an open palm, fingers widening apart. The woman's arms and legs moved likewise until all her limbs were out by her sides and she was suspended somewhat in the air.
A smile appeared on the Arniran's face and Talliea was struck with how familiar it looked to her.
"Your powers are far greater than I expected. I am not here to take her away, nor do I believe such a thing would be possible were that ever my intention."
Talliea did not respond. She continued to study the face before her. She knew this woman, or Arizira had known this woman. It was hard to distinguish her own memories from her love's in her grievous state. All she knew was that the old woman was not a stranger to her.
"Who are you?" she asked, stepping closer.
The woman smiled again. "You know."
Talliea stopped in front of her and looked into her light purple eyes. Her own eyes took in every wrinkle and expression line before she stepped back and lowered her hand. The woman's arms and legs fell to her sides and she was able to move again.
"Cynra," Talliea said simply.
Cynra nodded and a small smile briefly lit up her face. It did not last long, however. She moved her gaze from Talliea to Arizira and her face fell. She felt her heart slam painfully into her ribcage before tears formed in her old and worn eyes.
"Oh, Arizira," she said heavily before stepping over to where her granddaughter lay.
She shook her head and reached out to touch Arizira's face. Her fingers trembled as her tears fell. This was what she had tried to avoid. This was what she hoped to avert by sending Arizira away and in search of Talliea.
