He cocked his head. “To speak to the soldiers at the castle, of course. I march up and tell them that I and my scud… squadron of ten soldiers were sent as… rainformations?”
“Reinforcements?”
“Yes, that. To document the talks between High Captain Nordhall and your Queen. That is a normal part of my job as a head clerk. Also, High Captain Nordhall has met me before so that means you don’t have to hide, yes? You’ll have a reasoning to be there and be free to run around the castle.”
Nessa was about to argue when she, to her horror, realised that this made perfect sense. It would be helpful not having to skulk around an unfamiliar castle, terrified that any Joiners Square soldiers would question them. However, there was still a problem. Two if she counted Albert’s tendency to put his foot in it, but that wasn’t the problem she was going to bring up. She was raised on a farm, not in a barn.
She levelled her voice. “I can’t put you in danger like that. Even if Eleonora and Sonja stay in Cawstone and only you travel with us to Highmere… gods only know what’ll happen in the castle. What if we can’t find Elise? What if we have to confront the Queen and her army of Royal Guards? What if we’re discovered?”
Albert put his hat on. “That is why I’m essential, silly. With me, we can search the castle toff to toe, yes? Or head to bottom or whatever it is. Saying we’re learning where everything is, yes? Or that we’re taking notes to bring back to Grand Marshall Karlberg. We will find Elise and the Queen will not find us. I feel it, yes?”
“And if you’re wrong?” Nessa said softly.
His upper lip trembled for a second. “If there is violence, well, it’s about time I was brave. My life’s been safe, but never important. I am a middle-class, middle-aged man, in middle management with a middle-sized fir… four… fortune. It’s time I stand out from the middle, yes?” He planted his feet. “One day, I’ll tell my daughter that I did not simply stay quietness and carry on working for a bad organisation. I can tell Sonja that I stood up to the bad.”
Nessa didn’t know how to argue with that. She had always believed in staying safe, but her time with Elise had taught her that risks were necessary to live life to the fullest. She rubbed her forehead. Why couldn’t Elise be the one dealing with this? Nessa could be the captive and Elise could be here, planning a daring rescue and knowing what to say to keep the Lindbergs out of harm’s way.
No. Elise would check that they knew the dangers and all their options. Then, if they still wanted to go, she’d let them.
Nessa tried one last tactic. “But what about your job? If this Nordhall knows you and sees you there, if we give your name… they will know you betrayed them.”
He stared at her as if she was stupid. “I am obviously leaving my job quickeningly. It was tricky working for them when I knew they hid coin and kept secrets. But when they kidnap and push people, ones who came to Storsund as a shelter, into danger? I won’t work for them. And, maybe when tales are told of me helping you, I might get a job with the new government.”
He grinned as if he had just found a bar of gold on the street. Nessa knew when she was beaten. She turned to Hunter and Diinna, who had walked over with Anja just behind them.
“Ambassador, Hunter, Anja… Did you all hear that?” she asked.
Hunter nodded. “It is your decision.”
Anja adjusted a new bag over her shoulder. “Well, we need the uniforms and he’s right when he says he can be useful. Also, I think squadrons do usually have a higher-ranking person with them. Right, Diinna?”
Diinna had crossed her arms over her chest. “Yes, I believe so. Besides, we don’t have time to argue. You must get settled on the ship. I’d let them come along.”
It doesn’t matter to you, Nessa thought bitterly. Because if we all die, it plays even better for you to use us as rallying points for your cause.
She immediately regretted the unkind thoughts. Moreover, Diinna needed at least Elise alive to testify, which brought something else to the forefront of her mind. “Oh, and if we come back…”
“When we come back,” Anja interjected.
Nessa rolled her eyes. “Fine, when we come back, Albert would be a superb additional witness in the Joiners Square trial. Not only regarding this kidnaping but also embezzlement.”
Diinna’s head shot towards him. “Is this true?”
Albert puffed his chest out. “Yes. I know things. I also have notes from the last year, with dates and names of who signed off on what. They are in mine home on 58 Krasny Street. Just in case I do not survive, yes? You’ll find them in my office on the second floor.”
Diiinna pointed to him. “You! Make sure that you came back safe and sound. Storsund needs you.”
“Of course, ambassador!” He puffed himself up even more, standing as tall as his short stature would allow. Nessa found herself feeling not only affection but pride towards him. Elise would have liked this, she would’ve been hugging him and saying that she knew he had it in him.
Elise.
There was a painful throb in Nessa’s chest, as if her heart was beating incorrectly.
She mumbled, “We need to get on the ship.”
Chapter 26
Forced Back
Elisandrine woke up frequently during the sea voyage, but it all mingled into a haze. She remembered eating meals with the help of Under Lieutenant Dahl. There were also recurrent memories of the two soldiers outside the washroom door when she cleaned herself or used the commode. Other than that, her journey seemed to have been made up of sleeping and of dazed walks on deck, where all she noticed was endless water and biting cold.
The rare times the sedative was out of her system enough for coherent thought, she was furious. The fact that they were taking six weeks of her life by making her mostly unconscious kept popping up. She knew she should be angrier about the kidnapping, her helpless state, and what the Queen would do to her. Nevertheless, what permeated her foggy mind was anger at missing a part of her life. Her father’s death had taught her that life could be short and having to miss a part of her own enraged her.
Her father’s death was one of the few things that she could use to her advantage. One of her few memories of a conversation on that ship was about his death. It must have been late evening or night, as she could faintly recall the porthole showing nothing but black. The cabin had smelled faintly of sea salt but more of the stuffiness of a room rarely opened. Dahl had been feeding her vegetable soup as her own grip was weak, making her likely to spill.
Fighting drowsiness, she swallowed a mouthful of soup and surveyed Dahl. “May I ask you something? Do you still think about your father every day? I seem to have stopped doing that, which makes me feel wretchedly guilty.”
He glanced at the door then. Outside it stood the sergeant, probably chatting to the other passengers as usual.
“No. Not every day. I did for the first couple of years, yes? He was my hero and so… how do you say… closely tied to Joiners Square, that the first year it was hard to come to work. Now he mainly crosses my mind when I see something he’d like. Or dislike. Or something brings back a special memory.”
Elise hummed. “Precisely.”
“It is a strange thing, yes? To lose someone you love so much. Someone you need so much. The hole in your heart… it never heals,” Dahl whispered.
“No. It does not. Neither does the guilt of surviving and living your life when he could not.”
Dahl sighed and looked up at the ceiling. The spoon slowly drooped, until it landed in the bowl. “You’re right. And as you said before, there’s also the guilt of not always missing him, yes? Not constantly thinking about him.”
Elise decided to test their burgeoning bond. “I carry him with me in all that I do, even if he is no longer at the forefront of my mind. My sweetest papa. You know, it is such a shame.”
“What is?”
“My father always excelled at seeing things coming. Perhaps if I had been channelling him before my abduction, I might have fore
seen my capture. Escaped in time. It was silly to try to settle down, to assume that the Queen would let me go.”
“Why… why hasn’t she?” His voice was low, clearly aware that he wasn’t meant to be asking questions.
“Pride, I think. It started with that she found me diverting and a good lover. Now, however, I can only assume that it is her pride and her hatred of rejection that makes her obsess over me. Why else hunt me when I am so insignificant and bringing me back takes so much time and coin?”
He had blushed at the word ‘lover’ but now he paled. “What does she plan to do with you?”
Elise had shivered then, unsure if it was the chemicals in her system or the question sparking it. “I am not certain. Torture as a punishment? Murder me to keep me from telling people I disobeyed her?”
“I don’t think so. Our orders were clear. You should arrive undamaged, that’s why we were given the powders to keep you safely sleeping, yes? If she wanted you dead, she would have asked us to kill you and send her your head, yes?”
Elisandrine gritted her teeth. “Unless she wanted me brought to her, pristine and unharmed, so she could kill me herself. Or perhaps she still plans to, well, conquer my body.”
“By f-force? No, she’s a woman.”
“Oh, women can violate, too. However, luckily for me, the Queen finds rape beneath her. Too crude, too easy. While she does not much care about others’ wishes, she is terribly vain and cannot stand the idea of someone not wanting her. This is a game to her and I wager that the only way to win is to either make me come crawling back or to kill me so no one else can have me.”
Elise looked away. She was plagued by memories of unwanted desire creeping into her fear of the Queen. It shamed her to the core. A part of her had always desired that callous woman. Perhaps for her power and the danger of her? Not this time. No matter how she coaxed and pushed. No matter how she made Elise feel or if she kept her locked up for the rest of her life. It was death or freedom.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Dahl. “So, you believe she wants to end your life?”
Elise grabbed fistfuls of her blanket and blinked repeatedly, but tears still fell. They seemed to upset Dahl more than anything that had been said. He moved closer, his brow knitted.
Elise swiftly wiped her eyes. “I am not certain. Perhaps she intends to keep me around as a pet, make me a slave? Arclidians tend to have a strong distaste for slavery, so her people would not look kindly upon that. However, that viper does not seem to care what anyone thinks anymore, so who can say.”
In silence, Elise looked at the food while she made her decision. She blinked away fresh tears and met Dahl’s eyes. “I do not know what she wants with me, but I can tell you this, it will be nothing more than pure horror and I… will not simply accept that fate!”
Then she had pushed the bowl of hot soup onto his lap. It burned him enough that he hissed and moved out of the way. She rushed for the door, pointlessly, of course, because where could she go? The sergeant was outside, and the ship was far out at sea with nowhere to swim. She couldn’t even swim. Nevertheless, she had to run. She must try.
She screamed as Dahl caught her and shushed her while pushing her back towards the bed. He had not been unkind or gripped her harshly.
“Shh. Don’t let him hear you struggling, yes? He’ll sedate you before you’ve finished your food. The soup is gone now, but you still have a bread roll and the winterberry juice. You do not want to keep missing meals. Not good for you, yes?”
She had glared at him through tear-misted eyes. That was when he leaned in and whispered, “Also, Mrs Glass. If you’re going to keep fighting you must save your strength until you are on dry land, yes? Use this time. Sleep, eat, and plan. I’ll keep you safe until we’re in Arclid. After that, who knows what’ll happen.”
She had wiped her hot, wet cheeks and nodded, letting him hand her the juice to drink.
No matter the drugged haze and the constant rage, in her heart she kept that conversation. Both the idea of preserving her strength and the fact that Dahl had made it sound as if he was on her side.
Chapter 27
Ice
Standing on deck, a few days into their journey, Nessa ignored Hunter droning on about how impressive Anja was to give the approaching ship’s captain her full attention. He was scowling in a way which made her skin prickle.
The captain cleared his throat. “Good morning. I’m afraid ice floes have been blown in from the north and are blocking our way, yes? We must travel around them, meaning a longer voyage. I have explained this to all your traveling companions and understood that this is unusually bad news for you?”
Hunter gasped. “I should say so. We are in great haste!”
The captain winced. “Not much I can do, yes? The sea is the sea and ice is ice. ‘Tis the season for slow travel. My apologies for this trouble.”
Nessa felt her nostrils flaring. “How long will this delay us?”
“I cannot say. A week? Maybe more, yes?” He nodded his farewell, mumbling, “May the winds be with us.”
The sea wasn’t the only thing besieged by ice now. Nessa had the sensation of hoarfrost lining her heart, freezing her where she stood.
So much could happen to Elise while I’m stuck out here. Thrale, grant us quicker passage over your seas.
She shivered. Praying no longer gave comfort. To think that not long ago she had worried about things like having to lie about being married, finding an apprenticeship, or about being in a foreign place. It all paled in comparison to what she was facing now.
Hunter dragged a hand across his face. “I cannot believe it. We managed to make such good time in procuring a ship. We were only a little more than a day behind her. Now… Oh, what do we do, Nessa?”
She looked at him, trying to find something reassuring to tell him. His face showed the frustration and panic that she felt, and she wanted to relieve his worry despite not being able to relieve her own. But the words wouldn’t come.
I wish he didn’t hate being touched. I need to be held. I need to cry and let this out.
“I d-don’t know, Hunter. I’m going to check if they require assistance in the engine room. I must keep moving or my thinking will drive me mad. Go talk to Anja. I have to go.”
With that she ran, wishing she could run to Arclid instead of only to the engine room.
Chapter 28
Moments of Lucidity
Elise surfaced from the depths of foggy slumber. She assumed it was morning judging by the bright light hitting her eyes. There was no rolling or churning of the sea. Nor was she in her cabin aboard the Konspiratoria. She was sitting in what appeared to be a stationary carriage with tiny windows. Somewhere horses were whinnying. She rubbed her forehead, wishing the headache from the sedative would give her a single minute of peace. Her usual rage made her pound her fist against the carriage door, but this made the headache grow exponentially.
Calm down. Collect your thoughts. You are finally alone, use that!
Just as she had decided to get out and run, even though her drugged mind and tired body wouldn’t get her far, one of the doors was flung open. Her two Joiners Square guards clambered into the carriage. The Sergeant looked as furious as Elise felt.
“I can’t believe this old, silly country. No trains! Madness! The trip from here to Highmere will take days, yes? My spine will be crooked, and my arse will be broken.” He finished with a few words that Elise knew to be particularly vile Sundish curse words.
Under Lieutenant Dahl looked her up and down. “Good morning. I hope you don’t mind that I carried you here. You were sleeping deep with the powders, yes? The ship’s captain said goodbye to you.” Dahl looked down at his hands before adding, “And wished you a speedy recovery.”
Elise scoffed loudly, only to be met with another tirade of curses from Dahl’s surly superior. She sunk back into her silence, continuing to rub her forehead.
There was the sound of horses whinnying again, and then th
e carriage began to move.
“May I… have something to drink? And perhaps to eat?” Elise asked.
Dahl’s face lit up. “You want to eat? That is best news, yes? Wait a moment.”
He rummaged around an army satchel and produced a canteen and three rectangles covered in pale yellow icing sugar. “They’re wafers. I’ve been saving them. But now that we’re on land and I can have foreign treats, you’re welcome to them. You can use some sugar to stay awake,” he said, clearly trying to make his voice sound neutral.
His superior took one look at the wafers and harrumphed before looking out through the small window. Elise accepted the meagre meal with a gracious nod. As she took the iced wafers she noticed Joiners Square emblem in grey icing. “Ha! Look at that. Even in your sugary treats…” Despite herself, she hummed in amusement. “Joiners Square truly does get involved in everything it can reach.”
Dahl shrugged, a smile barely visible on his chapped lips.
She drank as much of the water as she could stomach and handed the canteen back to him half-full. Then she began to nibble on the wafers. They tasted far too sweet and were dry as sand. Still, she was hungry. If the sugar could help her with her headache, she would eat a raw sugar beet at this point.
Outside the carriage, the landscape rushed past. She spotted familiar trees and fields. The sight of her homeland should be comforting, but all it did was constrict her throat and form an icy grip on her heart. It was as if Highmere, and the court within it, were rushing to meet her. Rushing to imprison her.
Elise abandoned her second wafer, half-eaten. For once, she longed for when they would sedate her again. She couldn’t stand feeling like this, and right now, planning for her escape seemed as impossible as eating another bite.
The next time she woke to complete lucidity, the light was different, beaming through big windows. Pure, butter-yellow sunshine reflected off Centurian marble walls. She blinked away sleep grit and sat up. The bed under her was comfortable with luxurious bedding. There was a whiff of roses and lavender in the air.
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