The CO was probably the first adult I’d ever encountered since the death of my parents that I thought was worth a damn. No matter what shit I threw at him, he never let the fuck up, never once didn’t have my back, and believe me I tried.
I tested his ass at every turn, was an insubordinate fuck on more than one occasion, but he refused to give up on me even then. He’d discipline my ass for sure, but he was always there the next day riding my ass to do better.
His ‘boys’ had to be the best in the history of the SEALs and no piss-ant little snot nosed brat was going to mess with his program.
I never had shit easy in my life, not since the day both my parents died together in a car crash. My life ended that day. The happy teenager who’d known love and support was suddenly set adrift in the world on his own.
I’d never been close to any of my relatives since both sides had a grievance with my parents’ relationship. It’s sad to say in this day and age that that shit was purely racial and made no sense to the two people who loved each other like their next breath.
They were the ones who taught me to see beyond color into the heart of a person. My dad was always fond of saying, out of hearing of mom of course, ‘Son, there’re fucked up people from all walks of life. I’ve seen enough shit to know that-that race shit don’t matter. Like the man said in Needful Things, ‘Let God sort ‘em out.’
He was an upstanding man who was full of heart and loved his wife and son unconditionally. Losing him, losing both of them, was a blow that I hadn’t really ever recovered from.
The uncle I was forced to live with for the four years before joining up hadn’t helped matters any. I think the fucker only took me in for the sole purpose of tormenting me for whatever slight he believed my parents guilty of.
After dealing with his special brand of care after their passing and I was left at his mercy, I’d grown a new hard shell. That shit was titanium and nothing was ever getting through it again.
I’d locked my heart off from ever feeling anything resembling love again. It took me years to realize that that was just anger and pain from my loss. After these fucks had sledge hammered my walls and wormed their way into my good graces it was a wrap.
I laughed along with them and their silly arguments now, knowing that it was just their way of letting off steam and taking a load off from the hell we’ve been dealing with just lately.
This too was something new I was learning to get used to. It was a side to them that I’d never seen before, this softness when it came to their women. None of us had ever had a woman for longer than a one-night stand as far as I can remember.
We’d had a creed, which we held to until we retired. Then Con fell and fell hard and the shit set off an avalanche. I’ve been in some shit with my brothers but this shit takes the cake and I’m not talking about the fucks trafficking shit off the pier in our backyard.
No, I’m talking about the rate at which these motherfuckers are falling. Ty with his pussy whipped ass swore it would never be him, now Quinn and I are the only ones left standing.
The thought made my gut tighten but I wasn’t sure if that was from fright or want. I never let myself think about shit like that, but every once in a while it sneaks up on me and I wonder.
Then I come back to my senses and accept that no, as much as we’re alike these men and I, we differ in one way. We’ve shared pretty much everything else for the past ten plus years, but this is the one place I can’t follow my brothers. The one journey I cannot take.
I can never open myself to that kind of emotion again. I’ll face anything else, but to have something that means that much to me existing in this fucked up world, no fucking way. I’ve seen too much. But damn they make it look so good. Maybe…
No fucking way! I dashed those thoughts as quickly as they appeared and went back to sharing in their fun even if it was from the outside looking in again.
After lunch we needed to get shit done but of course my brothers piddled around, not wanting to leave their women who had them wrapped neatly around their little fingers.
I guess they knew their women and understood that if left unattended for too long they’d get up to mischief so I couldn’t begrudge them an extra hour or so. Though I wish Quinn was here to take some of the heat off my ass.
While the guys were bullshitting I noticed a hushed mum coming from the other side as we sat around Lo’s living room. I took a quick peek and sure enough they had me in their sights. My sisters be looking at me like they got plans for this shit, hell fucking no.
I’m bobbing and weaving like a son of a bitch in this fuck. I kept my head turned but kept them in my peripheral playing like I can’t feel them staring holes in my damn skull.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the topic of conversation is in that circle. That would be the same thing it’s been for the last week or so since Cord that fuck lost his damn mind.
If Lo and Con wouldn’t ride my ass I’d go into hiding. But ever since we figured out that the Desert Fox was involved in this shit those two have been worse than old women on the fucking rag. No one was allowed to go off by themselves.
“What Dani?” I couldn’t take that shit anymore. I looked up at her just as Nessa plopped the baby down on my lap. Yeah, like that’s gonna work. The little one was just as bad. She took my face between her hands and stared into my eyes before she started lecturing my ass to death. That’s her only speed, tears or lectures; she’s her father’s kid for sure.
“Nothing, we were just wondering you know…” Dani answered as she shrugged her shoulders, and I played the role.
“Wondering what?” My idiot brothers were just sipping their coffees not saying anything about their nosy ass women meddling in my shit. There was no sense in looking to them for help because I know whose side they’re on.
“Isn’t there anyone in town that you like?”
“No.” I find that it’s best to keep this shit short and to the point because these women are sneaky. I slip up and say the wrong thing they’ll have a line of women for me to choose from by nightfall.
She pouted like it was a grave injustice that I wasn’t in an all fired hurry to get hitched. I was about to turn them onto Quinn’s ass when Gaby changed the subject to wedding preparations.
From the pained look on Lo’s face I knew that was my out. I grinned and passed the baby back when the others got up to leave with the excuse that we had shit to do, which wasn’t a lie.
We beat feet to the door blocking out the whining and complaining that came at us hard. You’d think these grown men hadn’t stared death in the face a time or two before, the way these women have them running to get out of the line of fire.
“Some fuck’s wrong with Quinn.” Ty dropped that little nugget as soon as we cleared the door. His words had all heads turning in his direction. Lo of course was the first one to address his statement.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s doing that shit he does when we’re in the field. You know, like he’s hearing and seeing shit no one else can.” That gave the rest of us pause as we looked around at each other.
Damn. What now? I knew something was off but didn’t think it was anything that serious. I’d even started to put it off as just him overthinking the move we were about to make.
He does that shit sometimes until the rest of us want to pull our hair out by the roots. But if it was his special gift there was nothing good at the end of that fuckery.
“Dev.”
“On it.” I picked up the pace and jogged ahead at Lo’s unspoken command. I should’ve done better. If Ty was spooked enough to mention this shit then it must be bad.
We all try to stay on top of each other and though I’d felt the change in my brother the last day or so, with so much going on, unless someone was bleeding or dying there was no time to dwell. Plus, I figured when he was ready he’d let me in on whatever was eating away at him.
The call in the early morning had given me pause but even then I neve
r guessed in a thousand years that it was this serious.
Quinn tries to play down his ability to get glimpses into the future, but I for one am extremely grateful for that shit. It saved our asses more than once.
The only thing is that shit only seems to show up when there’s some sort of danger, never a harbinger of good.
8
Quinn
I leaned back against the steps of the CO’s mansion with my eyes closed and the hot Georgia sun warming my face enough to distract from the ass-fuckery that was going on inside my head.
The others should be coming back from lunch soon and even though they’d been gone for over an hour, it still wasn’t long enough.
That feeling beneath my skin had now become a raging inferno. The sense that I needed to move was strong but I still had no idea where the fuck I was supposed to go. The longer it lingered the more positive I became that the shit was personal.
If we were in the middle of an Op I could whittle shit down if I wasn’t shown where the danger laid outright.
It’s rare, but every once in a while my ‘gift’ likes to fuck with me and leave me guessing. In those cases I could usually work my way around to the truth but there were two things hindering me this time around.
One, I was absolutely certain that this had nothing to do with what we were dealing with here in regards to the traffickers and whatever hell Khalil was cooking up.
And two, my heart never stopped beating me to death this whole time, that’s new. And since there’s no one beyond these walls that I give a fuck about, the shit is confusing.
Had it been anyone here I would’ve seen the aura. That’s some weird shit that I don’t want to get into so I won’t, but suffice it to say, I know it’s not one of my family members. So who?
And why instead of the few seconds it usually lasts, has this shit stayed with me for hours? Maybe I was losing my mind, maybe the stress of the last few months was catching up to me.
That and being here where the old man had spent his life away from us. We never talk about it much, but I know we all feel his loss every day that we’re here.
It was probably best that I don’t think about that shit now, not with all the mystery still surrounding his death. But boy do I wish he was here.
I heard Dev before I opened my eyes and peeped up at him just as he reached my side. He towered over me with that look on his face I knew only too well. My time had run out.
“What’s eating you bro?” That was not a passing question. I shoulda known one of them would corner me sooner or later. I’d seen that look Ty threw me when he came by with the baby earlier. Sometimes it sucks having brothers who knew me so well. Dev just might know me a little better than most.
I smirked at the realization that each of us had our mediator or handler if you will. When Ty loses his shit, Connor calms him down. When Con goes batshit crazy, Lo brings his ass back and vice versa.
When something gets in Zak’s ass, Cord is the one to figure it out. With Cord, it usually takes all of us, and Devon and I have each other.
“I’m good.” His ‘don’t fuck with me’ glare said he didn’t believe me one fuck. It wasn’t like I could just brush him or any of them off, that shit doesn’t work with this bunch.
Plus the truth is, had it been any one of them acting the way I am I wouldn’t let up until I knew what was wrong with my brother.
There was another side to this thing as well, another reason for our extreme vigilance, and I would hate it if I was giving them reason to worry needlessly.
We’ve known way too many of our fellow servicemen and women who took their lives when shit got too tough. PTSD is nothing to play around with, and we’ve all been each other’s therapist in one way or the other over the years.
Used to be there was a stigma attached to anyone who admitted to having that shit. Some people had lost their tridents, career ended, all because they sought a little help to keep the demons at bay.
I think it’s another reason we worked so well together in the field and back here at home. Lo would never let any one of us hide that shit, and neither did the commander when he was alive.
It wasn’t always easy to sense that shit in others, but being as close as we are, always in each other’s space, it would be damn near impossible to keep that shit hidden for long.
So far we’ve all been spared but it could happen to anyone at anytime. I guess the fact that the seven of us came from fucked up beginnings shielded us a bit. Maybe that’s the reason the CO put us together way back when, who knows.
My brother looked tired, we all did I’m sure. Things have been moving kinda fast in some aspects of our lives and still others were dragging ass.
Our lives seem to be on a constant wheel of change. Now that Dev and I are the only ones left standing since Cord took the plunge, I think we’ve both upped our overprotectiveness a couple notches.
We’d both decided that it was our job to pick up the slack now that the others had women with children on the way and Zak already having Zakira.
Of course we didn’t share this with them, it was an unspoken deal between the two of us. We’re both very protective of the happiness behind these walls and would do anything to see that our family stays safe. But the truth is none of us could’ve expected the rate in which that family would grow.
It wasn’t hard accepting these women into the fold, the guys had all chosen well thank fuck. If they’d ended up with undesirables we’d of course have made it work, but it was good that we all got along as well as we do. The way we live on top of each other it would’ve been hell if they weren’t a perfect fit.
I’ve watched them form a bond, my five sisters, and I know that that’s a big part of the reason why things run so smoothly here. I’m sure my brothers pay such things no attention whatsoever.
For them it’s just a given that their women would get along. They won’t ask, more like demand if it came to that. But from the beginning the easiness between them was almost as strong as the one between us men.
I wasn’t surprised either by the strength of the love my brothers bore their women. I know we’re all passionate men, so how could they be any other way.
But the swiftness still left my head spinning, and has my mind going in directions it ought not to. I don’t ever see myself in that happy position, no matter how in weaker moments I may wish it.
Nonetheless I’m exceedingly happy for all of them and though none of them have made it down the aisle as yet, as far I’m concerned they’re as good as married.
I don’t see any ring or piece of paper making them any closer than they already are. I’m sure my brothers already consider themselves married, even if the women were always knee deep in wedding plans.
I don’t think we’re gonna have to wait too long on the whole ceremony brouhaha anyway no matter what the hell else is going on. From all the grumbling around here lately, it appears the girls had taken about all they were gonna take on that front.
I’m afraid if something doesn’t give soon, there will be hell to pay. And on that thought, I finally sat up and gave him an answer.
“Nothing Dev, I just feel…off. Like that feeling you get before the other shoe drops.” He clapped me on the shoulder and took a seat next to me. “You wanna go for a run?”
Yeah, maybe some more physical exercise might clear my head. Somehow I didn’t think so though, and besides I didn’t feel like leaving the grounds, not until I got a handle on things. Not until I was sure where the danger lay.
“No, I don’t want to leave the others unattended. I need to stay close to home today.” That was the only thing I was sure of. Which only added to my unease. I couldn’t see the threat, but I knew it was close to home. I won’t leave them unprotected.
My brothers had their attentions divided between ending the threat posed my the Desert Fox and their pregnant women. I can do no less than to stand guard over all of them. To stand between them and whatever was coming behind this thing that’s p
laguing me.
He didn’t question me, but I could see the worry in his eyes. I hated that more than anything. Everyone else was holding their shit together under pressure.
If this shit chose now to act up, I don’t know what the fuck I would do. Unless it gave me some answers soon I just might lose my fucking mind.
It had never left me hung out to dry before, and that’s where the fear came in. Because I couldn’t see the danger this time, just sense it as it drew nearer, it basically had me by the balls.
Even though I’d nixed the idea of leaving the compound I did need a change of pace. I needed even more to erase that look from Dev’s eyes.
“What did you guys have for lunch?” I changed the subject in a bid to get his mind off of me. “Never mind that, make this the last time you leave me alone with that bunch.”
From the look on his face I knew he was talking about our new sisters. It was enough to lift the gloom and make me bark out a laugh.
“What happened? Did the wittle girlies scare the big bad sailor boy?”
“Fuck off!” He punched my shoulder which only made me laugh harder. Seems that none of us can escape the women.
Each one of us, whether we’d admit it or not, have a healthy fear of the girls when they band together on one of their schemes. There was no need to guess what they’d done to him to put that look on his face.
“It was brutal bro.” He mock shivered and told me what the couples had been up to at lunch and how Lo had saved his ass just as the women started to go in on him.
“I’m dead ass brother, you cannot leave me to face that shit alone again. Our so called brothers are more than happy to throw my ass to the dogs as long as it keeps the heat off of them. If we’re not careful they’ll have us both in a noose before long so you can wipe that grin off your face.”
He was spot on with that one. Since we’re the only two left the women think it’s their sworn duty to marry us off. There’s no help from their men who are only too happy that their soon to be wives are on our asses instead of theirs.
SEAL Team Seven Books 6&7 Quinn and Devon Page 5
