“It will be,” Sean assured him. “We’re thinking about a Christmas or New Year’s Eve wedding.”
“That’s only four months away. Is that enough time?” Matt had no idea what went into planning a wedding, but maybe Sean and Kayla were going for a small no-frills type of deal.
“Kayla’s very organized, and Patricia has offered to help. Between the two of them, I think we can pull it off.”
Matt studied the man he’d known since the first grade. A lot of people thought Sean Barrett had it all and, truthfully, he did until the day his mother died. After that, Sean changed, and so had James Barrett. Both of them had shut each other out of their lives until, finally, after years of emotional distance, they repaired their fractured relationship. The Sean standing before him now was free of the baggage that had weighed him down for so many years, and he looked happier than Matt could ever remember seeing him. It was a safe bet that Kayla Maxwell had a lot to do with that.
“John and Patricia seem to have taken a liking to you,” Sean said, glancing at the Maxwells, who were chatting with James Barrett near the gated entrance to the rose garden. “What’s that about?”
“John’s restoring a ’69 Chevelle. He asked me to come over and take a look at it. I had dinner with them. They’re nice people.”
“Kelly was there, I assume.” Sean’s grin was sly. “Are you two getting along now?”
“You could say that,” he said carefully. Sean was his best friend, but this was neither the time nor the place to talk about what was going on with Kelly. He wasn’t even sure what was going on, to be honest. He liked being with her, and he wanted her. But until he figured out what the hell he was feeling he was keeping his damn mouth shut.
* * *
“How long have you been sleeping with Matt?”
Stunned, Kelly looked from the amazing view and met Kayla’s all-knowing gaze. “How did you know?” she asked, not bothering to deny it. “Did Matt say something to Sean?”
“No.” Kayla turned and rested her arm on the rail near Kelly’s champagne glass. “But from the moment he joined us on the terrace he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. And that look you gave him was a scorcher.” Kayla’s eyes softened. “This might sound corny, but you have a glow about you I’ve never seen before.”
“It’s this So-Cal sun. My skin isn’t used to it,” Kelly joked, and found her gaze drawn back to the ocean. It was majestic—dark and mysterious in the waning hours of daylight. Wavy ribbons of orange and pink colored the sky as the sun dipped out of sight on the horizon. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets she had ever seen.
She wished Matt was here to watch it with her. Great. Now I’m behaving like a heroine in a romantic melodrama. All sugary and sappy. That was so not her. Or at least it never had been before.
“Is it serious?” Kayla asked.
“I don’t know.” Kelly braced her hands on the rail and sighed. “Matt doesn’t have the best track record with women.”
“I think it’s because of something that happened to him last year. I don’t know the details. Sean promised Matt he’d never breathe a word of it to anyone unless Matt gave him the okay. He’s kept that promise.”
“Sean’s a good man.”
“He is, isn’t he,” Kayla said dreamily. “We’ve been talking about a Christmas wedding.”
“Christmas Day?” she asked, shifting toward Kayla. “But that’s your birthday.”
“Oh, it won’t be on the twenty-fifth, just around there, or maybe even on New Year’s Eve.” Kayla paused. “I’d like you to be my maid of honor.”
Kelly’s mouth fell open. “What about Lisa?”
Kayla reached for Kelly’s hands and squeezed them gently. “I can’t imagine anyone else other than my big sister standing beside me on my wedding day. Please say yes.”
“Are you kidding?” she exclaimed happily as her eyes filled with moisture. “Of course I’ll do it.”
“Don’t cry.” Kayla’s lips curved. “You’ll ruin your makeup. By the way, you look stunning. Where did you get that dress?”
“I found it on sale at that cute boutique on Union Street you love.” Kelly glanced down at the lilac satin dress that hugged her figure in a way her usual dresses didn’t. It had a low-cut neckline, a pleated bodice and a deep V-back. With her long legs it was difficult to find the right hem length, but this one showed just the right amount of leg, and it was comfortable. “I got the shoes there too.”
Kayla gave her a quick once-over. “All I have to say is this is much better than those pants and blazers you wear to work.”
“They’re not that bad,” she said, defending her reliable work clothes.
Kayla let out an unladylike snort. “The hell they are.”
Twenty minutes later, Kelly had to answer the call of nature and headed inside James Barrett’s Tudor-style home to use the guest bathroom. When she finished, she detoured to the formal living room and was admiring James Barrett’s Oscar in its lighted cabinet when she sensed a presence behind her. Turning, she found Matt standing beside the beautiful mahogany baby grand piano. Her breath caught as his magnetic force struck her anew, but it was his eyes, so dark and smoldering, that caused every nerve in her body to go on high alert.
“Hi.” She smiled and brushed her hair back from her shoulders. “I wanted to see the Oscar,” she said and gestured behind her.
“It’s impressive.” His eyes raked boldly over her. “But I’d rather stare at you. You look absolutely incredible.”
It was rare for her to be at a loss for words, but she was now. The sensual heat in Matt’s gaze burned into hers, reminding her of those steamy nights on the road trip. As cliché as it was, he’d evoked a passion in her she never knew she possessed. But what was even more unexpected was his kindness. He’d never shown any indication that she was weak because of her eating disorder. For years, she’d hid it because of fear of what others would think, but it turned out that admitting it aloud had set her free. How ironic was that? That this man, the one who used to piss her off on a daily basis, had helped her clear the last hurdle on her path to recovery.
“Thank you,” she whispered as he moved deliberately toward her.
“Isn’t there some rule about not upstaging the bride-to-be?” Matt asked when he halted in front of her and searched her face. His cologne, a dark rich fragrance, invaded her senses and left her a bit light-headed. “You’re the most beautiful woman here.” He lifted his hand and gently stroked her bare arm. Her skin tingled with excitement. “Come home with me tonight,” he said in a low husky voice.
“Home?” she said and then remembered. “Oh, that’s right. You live near here, don’t you?”
“Santa Monica. It’s not far.”
“But I came with my parents. We’re staying at Kayla’s.”
“I’ll make sure you get back there safely. Tomorrow.”
“I can’t do that. Just stroll into Kayla’s house in the same dress I wore the night before? That’s the walk of shame.” She shook her head vehemently. “No. No way. It would be one thing if it was just Kayla, but my parents are there.”
“How is it the walk of shame?” he asked. “Doesn’t that only apply if it’s a one-night stand? Tonight wouldn’t be the first time we’ve made love, and it sure as hell won’t be the last.”
Kelly opened her mouth to speak and then closed it. He did have a point.
“We still have a couple of hours before the party breaks up.” He gave her arm one final caress and stepped back. “Think about it,” he said softly, then turned and walked out of the room.
And think about it she did. For the rest of the evening it was all she thought about. Even as she listened to several toasts to the happy couple, and even as she mingled with Sean and Kayla’s friends and coworkers. To make matters even more complicated, whatever resolve she did have was sorely tested every time she found Matt watching her with those sexy bedroom eyes of his. Damn him. That was so not fair.
Around
ten, she observed her father shaking hands with James Barrett. Her parents were ready to leave. It was time to make up her mind. Would she go back to Kayla’s and sleep on the sofa bed, or share a bed with Matt? Hell, when she put it that way, there was really only one right choice.
Several minutes later, her parents were walking into the house and she was on the steps not far behind them when strong fingers closed around her arm. She turned and met Matt’s questioning gaze.
“Are you leaving?”
“Yes.” She smiled and gave him her final answer. “With you.”
* * *
As Matt closed the front door behind them, the first thing that grabbed Kelly’s attention was the huge picture window just beyond the rust-colored sectional couch in his living room. Right now, there was nothing to see. It was a dark night with only half a moon, but she’d heard the sound of the waves crashing on the beach as soon as they’d gotten out of the SUV. The ocean was on the other side of that window.
“I saw several surfboards hanging on racks out front.” She moved to the couch and set her purse on the square glass-topped coffee table. Pivoting, she admired the celery-green walls set off by white trim around the window and matching crown molding at the ceiling. Across from the couch was a big-screen television set placed inside what had to be a custom-made built-in cabinet. There were shelves on either side of the cabinet. One held DVDs and CDs, and the other housed a collection of hard-backed books. The room was warm and inviting. So very different from the condo she shared with Stacia. The black and chrome was cold and impersonal. This room had personality.
“I’ve been surfing since I was a kid,” Matt said as he draped his coat and tie over the arm of the couch. “Back then Sean and I hit the beach just about every day.”
“Even in the winter?”
Kelly noticed a framed photograph on one of the bookshelves. Curious, she moved to the cabinet and sucked in a breath when she got a good look at the photo. It was of a young boy, and he was the spitting image of Matt. It took only a matter of seconds for her to put it all together and when she did, her heart began to ache. She’d suspected several weeks ago that someone close to Matt had died and, in her mind, this all but confirmed it. Now, his reckless behavior for the past year made sense.
“The best waves are in the—” Matt stopped talking and there was dead silence in the room.
She turned to find him watching her with wary eyes. “You had a son, didn’t you?” she whispered.
For long seconds he stared at her, his face now a mask of misery. She wanted to run to him, to put her arms around him and make his pain go away, but she didn’t move a muscle. Whatever happened now was up to Matt.
Without a word, he moved to the French doors next to the window, opened them and disappeared outside.
For almost a full minute she stayed rooted to the spot. Of all the things she thought would happen when she got to Matt’s house, this was the last thing she had expected. She was pretty sure it was the last thing he’d expected as well. He probably hadn’t planned on bringing her back here or the photo would have been put away. For quite some time he’d gone to great lengths to hide the fact that he had a son and now, in the space of five minutes, someone other than Sean knew his secret.
Taking a deep breath, she crossed the room and stepped outside. The air was salty, and a bit chilly due to the close proximity to the ocean. Goose bumps formed on her arms as she let her eyes get accustomed to the darkness. She was on a deck, but it wasn’t a large one. It ran the length of the back of the house and jutted out about six feet. There appeared to be steps that led to the beach, but when she looked to her left she realized Matt hadn’t used them. He was standing at the rail at the far end of the deck, staring out at the vast darkness that was the ocean.
Her heels made a clicking noise as she walked toward him, but he didn’t look at her. Even when she halted next to him, he didn’t move. Copying his stance, she braced her hands on the top rail and listened to the waves as they hit the shore. The sound was hypnotic. She didn’t speak, just stood beside him and waited. For what, she didn’t know. But she would stay until he asked her to leave.
“His name was Joey,” Matt finally spoke, still staring straight ahead. It was hard not to touch him, to comfort him. She resisted the urge. Her intuition told her he wasn’t ready for solace. Not yet. “He was seven when I met him and nine when he died. Leslie was my girlfriend all through college. In our senior year I was preoccupied with baseball and pretty much ignored her. That’s when she fell in love with some guy in her English Lit class. When she broke up with me I had no idea she was pregnant.” He paused for a few seconds before continuing, “She didn’t tell me about Joey until after he got sick. By that time she was desperate to find a bone marrow donor for him.”
“So you got tested,” Kelly whispered.
“Yes, but I wasn’t a match. Usually siblings are the best donors.”
“What was he like?”
“He loved baseball, and just like Lily, he worshipped me. I was his favorite Dodger. Posters and pictures of me covered the walls of his bedroom.”
“Did he ever find out you were his father?”
“We told him after I got tested. Joey never really had a father figure. The English Lit guy was long gone so he was thrilled when he found out I was his dad.” Matt turned to look at her. He was shadowed in darkness, but she could make out the faint smile on his lips. “You should have seen his face. It was like Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one.”
“I can imagine.” She smiled despite the tears welling in her eyes.
“He was a smart kid,” Matt said proudly. “He was just starting to read when I met him but he took to it like a duck to water. Every time I saw him he wanted to read a book to me. I always thought kids liked their parents to read to them, but for us, it was the opposite.”
“Did you ever take him to one of your games?”
“I arranged for him and Leslie to sit in the skybox at a number of games. No one had any idea he was my son. I knew if I told anyone, the press would have a field day with it. It’s the kind of story those vultures thrive on. A star athlete with a terminally ill child. There was no way I was letting any of them come near Joey. Luckily, Leslie agreed. I was pissed as hell at what she’d done, but I didn’t have the heart to rip into her. She’d already been through so much. I couldn’t add to her pain.”
So it festered deep inside of him, and when Joey died, that rage, along with his grief, exploded like a ticking time bomb. Tears spilled down Kelly’s cheeks as she imagined the unbearable pain he must have been in.
“I had two years with my son. I spent all of my free time with him until he—” Matt’s voice cracked,“—until he died.” He squeezed his eyes shut, as if it would take away the pain, and then, with a strangled sound of anguish, he pulled her against him and buried his face into her neck. She felt his hot tears on her skin and slipped her arms around him, holding him tightly as silent sobs shook his body.
Several minutes passed before he lifted his head and stared into her eyes. “It wasn’t fair,” he said in a ragged voice. “He was a little boy with his whole life ahead of him.”
Kelly gently stroked his back. “You’re right. It’s not fair. But think of the joy you brought to him. He adored you, and before he left this earth he found out you were his father. I know it doesn’t ease the pain, but think of what that meant to him.”
“I know what it meant to me,” Matt whispered. “That’s why I went fucking nuts when he died.”
“You were in pain. Pain you didn’t know how to deal with.”
“That’s no excuse, Kelly. You, of all people, know how out of control I was. I’ve never insulted a woman the way I insulted you the night we met. It was inexcusable.”
“That wasn’t you.”
“Yes, it was. It was what I’d let myself become.”
“You need to forgive yourself.”
“For what?” His eyes widened. “For treating
you like dirt, or everything else I did since the day Joey died?”
“No. You need to forgive yourself for not being able to save him.”
“I told him everything was going to be okay.” His voice rose, echoing into the dark night. “I lied to my son. I promised him he would live and then I couldn’t deliver. I let him down.”
“Don’t say that,” Kelly said sharply. “You didn’t let him down. You made the last two years of his life special. That means something. No one else could have done that for him except you.”
Matt stared at her. “Do you really believe that?”
“Yes.” She shivered as a soft breeze whisked against her skin.
“We should go inside.” He loosened his arms from around her and took a step back. “It’s chilly out here.”
Once they had entered the house, Matt closed and locked the door before turning to face her. His dark eyes were inscrutable; it made her think he might want to be alone, or that he regretted confiding in her.
“I should probably get back to Kayla’s,” she said and moved to the coffee table to retrieve her purse. “You don’t have to drive me. I’ll take a cab.”
“Kayla’s house is miles from here. The cab fare would be astronomical.”
“Oh.” She clutched her purse tightly. “That’s right. I forgot.”
“If you want to leave, I’ll drive you.” His eyes softened. “But I’d really wish you’d stay. Here. With me.” When she didn’t answer, he moved toward her and when he stood in front of her he lifted his hand and tenderly brushed her cheek with his fingers. “You’ve got mascara all over your cheeks.”
Kelly’s face warmed. “I guess I should have bought the waterproof kind. I must look a mess.”
“You’ve never been more beautiful than you are right now,” he said huskily. “Please stay.” It was then that she saw it, the slight flicker of desolation in his eyes. It sealed the deal. There was no way she could leave him now.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll stay.”
Chapter Nineteen
The rhythmic rise and fall of the waves as they spilled onto the shore was music to Matt’s ears. Although he ran along the wharf in San Francisco almost daily, he’d missed this beach. His beach, or so he liked to imagine. In reality, this stretch was open to the public, but this early in the morning he was completely alone and could indulge in a bit of grandiose thinking.
The Winning Season Page 23
