by R K Dreaming
“You’re asking for trouble,” said Nan. “Oh, why do you have to be such a Demonling?”
“Why do you have to be such a Cherub?”
“What if you’re in there looking like one of his neighbors and then the neighbor turns up at the house? What are you going to say? Oh hello, I must be your long lost twin?”
“What are the chances?” scoffed Percy.
Despite her protests, and the fact that she complained for the entire tube journey there, Nan did go with Percy to scout out Arthur Delancey’s address.
It was a London townhouse in Bloomsbury, much nicer than Percy had expected for someone who was living on a school teacher’s salary.
The wake was already in progress going by the huge number of cars parked outside the house, with several more still turning up. Somberly dressed people came out of them and headed into Arthur’s address. There was no doubt Percy had come to the right place.
“Please don’t do this,” Nan begged one last time.
“It’ll be over before you know it,” said Percy. “Why don’t you go and wait for me in that café we passed? I should be back within the hour.”
Nan gave her one more sorrowful, pleading look. When Percy did not acquiesce, Nan sighed. She held out her hands for Lucky kitten.
“I’d better do at least this first bit,” she said in a resigned tone. “No one will ever let you into their house. They can tell just by looking at you that you’ve got a bit of the devil in you.”
Percy felt a flash of relief. This possibility had been worrying her, though she had not admitted it.
“Are you talking about my hair?” Percy said in mock offence.
“Among many other things,” said Nan.
Percy pinched Nan’s rosy cheek. “And they can tell just by looking at you that you’ve got a little bit of a cherub in you,” she said in an overly sweet voice.
Nan slapped Percy’s hand away. Taking a deep breath, she marched over towards Arthur’s house and knocked on several doors nearby. Percy was careful to stay just out of sight, and like Nan, she kept her face averted from the direction of everyone going into Arthur’s house. She didn’t want someone from school recognizing her and spoiling all her plans.
A few doors down from Arthur’s house, a middle-aged lady answered Nan’s knock. She had a sour look about her that told Percy that had it been Percy who had been knocking, she would have immediately shut the door in Percy’s face.
Nan however was short and plump and had neat golden ringlets and those big blue eyes. She did not look dangerous. Percy rolled her eyes as Nan gave the woman a very genuine and innocent-looking smile, and held out little Lucky kitten hopefully.
Lucky kitten played along, giving a pathetic and almost pleading little meow.
Percy heard Nan say, “I found this poor little thing running around just near your door. Is it yours?”
The woman scowled. Percy hated to think what kind of expression she would have given if it was Percy asking the question in her rather less sweet voice and her rather less innocent looking visage.
“No, it is not,” said the woman, already trying to close the door on Nan.
But by now Nan was shifting restlessly from one foot to another. She threw the woman a desperate look, and said quickly in a little bit of a squeaky and distressed voice, “Do you mind if I pop into use your ladies’ room? Sorry, I really wouldn’t ask, but I’m kind of desperate.” She screwed up her face in an almost pained expression.
The woman sighed, and opened her door to let Nan in, and Percy heard Nan thanking the woman profusely. She disappeared into the house.
Five minutes later Nan hurried out and thanked the woman profusely again, but this time she was also refusing an offer of tea quite firmly.
Once the woman was gone, Nan hurried over to Percy, and handed over a couple of frazzled brown hairs.
“I found them on a comb in her bathroom,” she said in distaste, handing over Lucky kitten too.
The two girls walked back down to the café and into the disabled toilets. Percy put the hairs carefully into the bottle of potion, plugged it with the stopper and shook it vigorously.
Then, holding her nose, Percy gulped the whole thing down while Nan looked disgusted and clutched a squirming Lucky kitten in her hands.
Percy watched herself in the mirror in fascination as the change took place. Her skin seemed to bubble and stretch and melt almost like wax, and then reshape itself into what the middle-aged woman looked like. Her body got shorter and rounder, and her hair turned a grizzled brown at the same time.
When it was done, the dress she was wearing, which she had purposefully made sure was the loosest one she could find, was now both too tight around her middle and too long around her ankles.
Nan had watched with a horrified look of fascination on her face the whole time. Meanwhile, Lucky kitten was squirming frantically and mewling in alarm.
“Hush!” pleaded Nan. “We aren’t supposed to have a kitten in these toilets, so please hush!”
Lucky kitten did not obey, and scratched up Nan’s hands in her efforts to flee.
Percy tapped Lucky kitten firmly on the nose. “It’s me, you silly thing,” she said. “Now will you stop that and get into my pocket?”
Lucky kitten stared at Percy. Perhaps she sensed Percy’s spirit in her tone, because Percy’s voice certainly had not sounded like her own. Whatever it was, her squirming stopped and she made a hopeful mewling sound.
“Good girl,” said Percy.
She plonked Lucky kitten into the deep pocket of her dress, and let Nan exit the bathroom first. She followed a few minutes later, sparing Nan just the briefest of glances as she hurried out of the café. Nan was at the counter buying herself a large hot chocolate.
Percy strode purposefully to Arthur Delancey’s house and joined a small group of people going in.
She found Arthur inside looking pale but very handsome in his black suit. He was standing beside a woman who looked a lot like Mrs Delancey. Percy heard Arthur introducing the woman as his aunt as he formally shook everyone’s hands and nodded at their condolences.
When it was Percy’s turn, Arthur’s gaze remained blank, and she found herself utterly relieved that he had not recognized her. It turned out he also did not recognize the neighbor whose body she was now inhabiting.
Arthur just nodded when she said hello to him and waited for her to go past. There had been no need to even use the kitten excuse, but the kitten was already in her hands, and now it seemed ridiculous that she had turned up at a wake with it.
The aunt was staring at Lucky kitten, and a frown was beginning to form on her face. She looked much colder and sterner than mild-mannered Mrs Delancey had been, and standing next to her Arthur no longer looked the confident, cocky boy he had been in school. He looked smaller and tired. Percy felt sorry for Arthur if this woman was who had replaced his mother in his life. She was even beginning to feel guilty for using this ruse to creep into his house.
Percy said quickly, “I’m sorry for your loss. I found this kitten in my garden a couple of days ago. I live just a few doors over. I’ve been meaning to bring it over, but I heard about your mother’s passing, and I didn’t know whether it was the right thing to do or not. But today, I thought I simply must bring it over, thinking it might be a comfort to you in this difficult time.”
She held out the kitten to Arthur. He stared at it in consternation.
She thought he was going to say he didn’t want it, but he said, “Why?”
“What you mean?”
“Why did you bring that kitten here?” Arthur sounded a little angry now.
“But isn’t it yours?” said Percy. “I’m sure your mother mentioned that she had lost a kitten a little while back, and… er…”
Percy’s voice trailed off. She was going further into the lie than she had meant to, and if she was not careful she would be caught.
Arthur said bluntly, “It’s not ours and I don’t want it.”
“Are you sure?” said Percy, unable to stop herself.
“Yes,” said Arthur through gritted teeth. He was beginning to look angry.
Percy was glad. At least this made certain she was not going to have to hand Lucky kitten over.
“Ah,” she said, trying to sound regretful, and cuddling the kitten close to her body. “What an awful mistake for me to make on today of all days. And I’m holding up your other friends and relatives.” She looked meaningfully behind her, and then quickly scooted out of the way.
Fortunately Arthur and his aunt were busy already shaking the next people’s hands and did not spare her another glance.
Percy followed others towards the lounge. The house was spacious and comfortable inside, and had a homely feel, and was decorated with bright art prints and vibrant nik-naks and scatter cushions. The hallway opened up into a large lounge-diner, in which most people were crowded. The hubbub of quiet voices filled the air, and was loudest around the refreshments table where the throng of people was densest.
Percy felt a bit awkward walking around with a kitten clutched in her hands, so she tucked Lucky kitten into her pocket again and hoped no one would notice the bulge.
To give herself something to do, she went to get herself a little plate and put a couple of tiny quiches on it.
The furnishing and décor had an air of being very new and expensive. Arthur’s aunt had been dressed a bit shabbily in comparison to Arthurs own smart suit, and Percy decided the money must come from Mr Delancey’s side of the family.
She looked around to see if she could spot Mr Delancey in the room, keeping her eyes peeled for a handsome man with dark hair and blue eyes. Arthur must have got his looks from there, since he looked nothing like his mother. She saw no such man.
A bunch of framed photos on a shelf caught her eye and she worked her way through the crowd to go and take a look at them. She smiled stiffly at people, pretending that she really was the mean-faced old harridan whose body she was in. This was not difficult. She didn’t particularly feel like talking to any of these people anyway.
Over in a far corner, she recognized a few kids from school, including the blond haired Oliver Felton with a bunch of older boys and girls who must have been Arthur’s friends. Not too far from them was Nilgun Shafak, huddled together a little bit awkwardly with a few girls from Percy’s English class. Nilgun was popular and nice, and Percy was not surprised to see her here.
Nobody gave Percy a second glance.
Reaching the photos, Percy scrutinized them, and was disappointed to see that they were all of Arthur and his mother. His father was not in a single one. Most were of Arthur when he had been tiny. Little Arthur on the beach building a sandcastle, little Arthur in a park kicking a ball.
Percy wracked her mind, trying to remember if Mrs Delancey had ever mentioned her husband. Even if they were separated, surely he should have been here for his son today of all days? Percy was outraged that he was not.
As Percy turned away from the photos, she caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror and promptly dropped her plate of quiches. Dammit! She had forgotten what she looked like. Seeing the grumpy neighbor in the mirror had taken her by surprise.
Nearby a bony blond woman looked over at Percy and frowned. Then she whispered something to the man who was with her. Percy’s heart started to race. She had to remind herself that these were Humbles and there was no way they could know she was an imposter wearing someone else’s skin.
Percy crouched to pick up her quiches, and then shuffled a bit closer to listen. She was not used to old knees, and this hurt quite a bit more than she’d expected.
“I miss Tommy-boy,” the man was saying. “Wish he was here. He would’ve livened up this wake for sure!”
“To Tommy-boy!” cried the crowd of people around the man and the bony blond woman, and all raised their glasses.
“He could have come,” complained the blond woman. “I can’t believe he’d miss Jane’s funeral like this.”
“Probably off on one of his adventures,” said the man jovially. “You could never pin Tommy down. I doubt he even knows she’s dead, the poor chap! Jane was always harping on at him. Probably ran away to get rid of her in the first place!” He roared with unkind laughter.
Percy scowled at this. Her stupid husband had run off and left her, and this lot were making out like it was all Mrs Delancey’s fault? The sheer nerve.
“He was a fun chap, wasn’t he?” said the man fondly. “Always good for a laugh. Do you remember that time he persuaded old Janie that he’d got her a tree that could grow every kind of fruit? He must have glued them on or something because she was absolutely convinced! Batty about him, that one. She went on about it for weeks!”
They all roared with laughter.
“Mad, he was,” said a redheaded woman, shaking her head fondly. “How did he do it? Do you remember the floating tree house?”
“Little Arthur fell out of it and broke his leg,” said the bony blond, hooting at the memory. She took another large swing of her drink. “Poor little chappie. Such a cutie he was, just like his dad.”
“He’s growing up to be a heartbreaker,” agreed the redhead.
“Ladies, easy now!” a bearded man chided them and guffawed into his wine.
“How did Tommy do it?” said the blond, looking impressed.
“Tommy let me in on his secret,” said the first man, tapping his nose. “Showed it to me. He’d rigged it up with hidden physics. Steel rope and things. You know, like those floating Yodas you see hawking for money on the streets. The ones that look like they’re sitting cross-legged in mid-air, but really it’s their walking stick that is supporting all their weight? The man was a genius, I tell you!”
“He was wasted on Janie,” said the bony blond with a reminiscent sigh. She took a look around at the room and all the nice furnishings. “I see he left Janie more than enough to get by. He always was a flashy sort.”
“You mark my words, Tommy is off having the time of his life out there somewhere in the world!” The first man chortled enviously.
Percy stood up suddenly, taking them all by surprise. The bony blond sloshed some of her wine all over the floor.
“Maybe he’ll have the decency to come home and look after his son one of these days,” Percy said querulously, like she imagined the crotchety neighbor would have. “One of you might even do him the favor of calling him and letting him know his wife is dead.”
Leaving them gaping after her, she pressed through the crowd to get away from them. That Tommy Delancey sounded like an irresponsible idiot, and Arthur was probably better off without him!
Pretending to look for a bathroom, Percy casually wandered up the stairs, and wasn’t particularly surprised when nobody stopped her. The house was packed to the seams. Many more people were here than she had expected. It looked like Mrs Delancey hadn’t been the lonely woman that Percy had thought she was.
Or was it just that she was a teacher that had made her have all of these acquaintances? That loud lot had seemed to have known her a long time. Maybe she had a very large family who had travelled to be here. Percy did not know. She hoped the bedroom would give her answers.
Upstairs was quiet, and nobody seemed to be there, which Percy was glad of. She brazenly opened doors until she found what looked like the master bedroom. She went in.
A quick look inside the wardrobe confirmed that this was Mrs Delancey’s room, or had been while she was alive. Percy recognized some of the prim skirts and blouses that Mrs Delancey had worn in class.
Percy had no interest in the clothes, but she did have an interest in anything that might be hidden among them, so she rifled through all of the sock and underwear drawers. She found nothing, other than an array of surprisingly lacy and brightly colored underwear that she would have never guessed Mrs Delancey would have worn. All of it looked like fairly recent purchases.
A large drawer was full of various bits of paperwork, but it was
things like birth certificates and passports and piles and piles of bills. Nothing of interest. No recent correspondence, not that Humbles handwrote letters much any more.
A laptop was on the dressing table, but it was password protected, and she was unable to access it. She was getting frustrated, and increasingly worried that at any moment someone might decide to check upstairs in case any unwanted guests had found their way up there. Someone liked that stern faced aunt.
How could she give any reasonable explanation of why she was rifling through a dead woman’s things? Other than that she might be a thief. The last thing Percy needed was to be hauled in by the Humble police while she was under the influence of a disguising potion that would very likely wear off while she was in police custody.
Percy did not know what she was looking for, but something had to be in this house that explained why she’d had that potion.
She realized that there was no desk in the bedroom. Did that mean that Mrs Delancey had an office somewhere in the house? Was that where she kept her personal letters and journals and things?
Just as Percy was about to leave the bedroom, she spotted Mrs Delancey’s handbag.
It was the same shiny plum handbag that had been under the classroom desk on the day that Mrs Delancey had died. Someone, probably Arthur, had shoved it behind her bedroom door.
Percy tipped it over, not knowing what it was that she was looking for. Out fell a jumbled assortment of old receipts, make-up, pens, pencils, a notepad, a diary, an umbrella, a wallet and a whole bunch of other things besides. Nothing looked particularly alarming.
Percy flipped through the notepad, but it was full of notes on school lessons and grocery lists.
Opening up the wallet, Percy went through all of the cards and all of the pockets. Finding nothing unusual in there, she tossed the wallet aside.
Then she went through the many little pockets of the handbag, discovering keys, loose coins, more tissues and receipts. Finally, Percy saw a little tear in the lining. The bag was new, and the tear looked like it had been carefully made with scissors. Or it could have come from the shop like that.
