“I know you understand English, even if you won’t speak it,” Tyler finally said. “Fact is, I don’t much care if you ever say another word. I came here to do the talkin’.”
The chief narrowed his eyes but said nothing. Tyler folded his arms against his chest and prayed for a moment. For the first time in a long, long while he felt his prayers finally ascend to heaven.
God, I don’t want to let this hate dictate to me anymore. I don’t want to give this man another day of my life or another thought. Help me. I can’t let this go on my own. I can’t be free if you don’t set me free.
Peace didn’t come instantly, but rather Tyler felt a tiny corner of his heart soften. He wanted to forgive Runs With Buffalo. He wanted to forgive all of the Comanche and Kiowa. He wanted to forgive the men who brought on the War Between the States. He even wanted to forgive Malcolm Lowe. But wanting was only the first step, and Tyler knew it would be a journey—a deliberate walk in God’s grace—that would allow for true forgiveness and healing.
“You killed my father and friends. For a long time I’ve carried that with me. For a long, long time your actions were like a burden I bore, but no more. I’m not going to be in bondage to you any longer. You may have killed my father, but you will not kill me.”
Tyler squared his shoulders and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. He still didn’t trust himself not to lunge at the smug-faced Comanche warrior. “I had the opportunity to have you killed. I could probably even put a bullet in you here and now, and no one would say another thing about it.”
For the first time the chief glanced at the gun belt on Tyler’s hip. It was just a brief glance, but Tyler could see for a fleeting moment that the truth of what he’d said really hit the chief. But just as quickly the moment was gone, and the hardness returned to the man’s eyes.
“I could kill you,” Tyler said, feeling a certain amount of power. “I could end your life and the lives of your men, just as you ended the lives of my father and friends.” He paused. “But it wouldn’t prove a thing, and I’d still be in bondage. It’s better to give this whole thing over to God and let Him deal with it. I figure I can let God have it, and I can just forget about you altogether.”
Runs With Buffalo’s eyes narrowed, and his nostrils flared in obvious anger. He rattled off something in his native tongue, and Tyler just shrugged.
“What you’ve got to say means nothing to me. Because from now on—as far as I’m concerned—you don’t exist. I’ve just eliminated you in my own way.” He smiled at this thought, realizing just how liberating the moment was.
“In the flesh, you’ll be dead soon enough,” Tyler continued. “And without Jesus, you’ll be spiritually dead, as well. But from this moment on, I forgive you for what you did.” Tyler couldn’t help but smile. “And that’s something you have no say over—something you can’t refuse or stop from being.”
“You are a foolish white man,” Runs With Buffalo called after him in English. “I will live to see you dead. I will kill you myself. I will kill all the white men and their children.”
Tyler didn’t acknowledge the man. He continued walking away, knowing that there was nothing left to say to the Indian chief. He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, even as Runs With Buffalo continue to yell at him.
William came alongside him from seemingly out of nowhere. “You all right?”
Tyler looked at his friend. “Better than I’ve been in a long while.”
“You sure riled him. I didn’t think he was willing to speak the white man’s words.” William’s tone was laced with sarcasm.
Nodding, Tyler continued to walk away from the stockade. “I could stand somethin’ to eat. How about you?” He looked to William for an answer.
His friend seemed to understand. “I think that’d suit me real well.”
Carissa sat in the early morning light relishing the quiet and reading in the Bible of God’s faithfulness. The months spent growing closer to God through reading His Word had helped her to put aside the pain in her past.
Turning the page, her gaze fell on Psalm 5.
Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee. The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
She let the words wash over her. She read them again, focusing in on the third verse. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.
Glancing to the porch roof, Carissa prayed. “I am directing my prayer unto thee. O God, please keep us in your care. Please put an end to the Indian wars. Please let there be peace. The times are so dangerous—so full of fear. Let me rest in you, Lord.”
She drew a deep breath and returned her gaze to the Bible. Picking up again in the fifth psalm, Carissa continued to read.
Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: the Lord will abhor the bloody and deceitful man. But as for me, I will come into thy house in the multitude of thy mercy: and in thy fear will I worship toward thy holy temple. Lead me, O Lord, in thy righteousness because of mine enemies; make thy way straight before my face. For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue. Destroy thou them, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions; for they have rebelled against thee.
She thought of Malcolm and the evil he’d done. There had been no faithfulness in anything he’d said or done. He flattered with his tongue, but he was wicked through and through. The only good thing Malcolm had ever done was in fathering Gloria.
“And he fell by his own counsel,” she murmured. “As I nearly did.”
Her thoughts went to Tyler and the ranch she’d purchased. “Please let him understand, Lord. I’m so afraid that he’ll hate me for it, but I did it . . . I did it . . . out of love.”
It was hard to admit the truth even to herself. She had fought so hard to avoid entangling her heart. She wanted to be reasonable and sensible—words that were always associated with her sister’s choices, not hers.
Thinking of Laura, Carissa looked upward again. “Thank you for saving her, Lord. And thank you for helping Lucas to thrive.” The doctor had come only the day before to declare that both mother and baby were moving well past the point of danger.
Of course with little ones, danger seemed to follow them always. She thought of Gloria and knew how frightened she was every time her child ran a fever. Sickness was so hard on children. “Keep her in your care, Lord. I thank you for giving her to me. She is so precious, and my life is better because of her. Gloria brings me such joy. Tyler . . . oh, Tyler brings me joy, as well.” She couldn’t imagine a more perfect union than with Tyler Atherton. Not for her, and definitely not for Gloria. The child adored him.
“There you are,” Hannah said, stepping onto the porch. “I wasn’t sure where you’d gone off to. I saw that the biscuits were already baking and knew you had to be somewhere nearby.”
Carissa nodded. “I came here for my morning prayer time.”
“I can leave, if you’d like.”
“No, please stay. I was just coming to the end of my Bible reading and prayers.”
Hannah took a seat beside her. “Why don’t you read it aloud.”
Carissa held up the Bible. “ ‘But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. For thou, Lord, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.’ ”
She lowered the book and met Hannah’s smiling face. “God will defend us. I really believe that. I know there are those who thought as much and
still endured attack and death. But no matter what happens, I know God will defend us.” Carissa closed the Bible and reached her hand over to Hannah’s. Taking hold, she smiled. “I have such a joy that I have never known until these past few weeks. It seems so strange that in the middle of the Indian threat, I am finally at peace.”
“Nothing strange at all, Carissa. God wants you not dependent upon the circumstances around you, but rather on Him. These things are just light and momentary troubles.” She gazed off across the landscape and sighed. “I love it here. I cannot imagine ever leaving it, yet I know my home in glory will be even better. It seems to me that God’s blessings here are just a foretaste of those to come. And His peace is just one of those blessings. Relish it and don’t think it strange. We serve a mighty God.”
Carissa released Hannah’s hand and hugged her Bible close. “I love him. I love him so.”
Hannah studied her for a moment and smiled. “You aren’t talking about God, are you?”
“I love Him, too,” she said, shaking her head. “But no, I was talking about Tyler.”
“I know.”
Hannah’s matter-of-fact reply caused Carissa to continue. “Oh, how I want him to be pleased that I purchased the ranch. I don’t want him to feel pressured in any way, but I very much want us to be married. To be a family. Gloria needs him so.”
“As do you.”
Carissa met Hannah’s eyes. “Yes. Yes, I need him. I never thought I could love another. I never thought I would trust enough to need anyone. Tyler . . . well . . . he worked through my defenses and now I am overwhelmed by my feelings. I suppose my only fear . . .” She fell silent.
Hannah finished Carissa’s sentence. “Your only fear is that he won’t feel the same way.”
“Yes,” Carissa whispered.
“Then you really have nothing to fear. I know Tyler. I believe with all my heart that he loves you. If he comes back here and fails to understand the love and sacrifice you showed in saving the ranch for him—I personally will hit him with a frying pan.”
The seriousness of the moment was broken, and Carissa giggled. “You’d do that for me?”
Hannah nodded and got to her feet. “That and more. You’ve become a dear friend, Carissa Lowe. I look forward to the day when you are Carissa Atherton. For now, however, I think I’d best go pull out those biscuits before they burn.”
“Oh goodness, I forgot all about them,” Carissa declared, getting to her feet. She moved for the door, but Hannah took hold of her.
“You are like a sister to me. I hope you know that you will always be a special part of our lives. This time together—with the men away—well, it’s been so precious to spend it with you and Laura. I hope we’ll always stay close.”
Carissa nodded and gave Hannah a hug. “I know we will.”
20
Tyler looked to where Brandon Reid sat atop his horse. “Thanks for talkin’ to me back at the fort.” Tyler mounted and settled into the saddle. “I don’t think I would have been able to put things aside if you hadn’t said what you did.”
Brandon pushed his hat back a bit. “Sometimes it’s hard to see a matter clearly when it’s staring you in the eye. I’m glad I could help.”
“Maybe you can help me with something else,” Tyler said. It was Tyler’s turn to aid Brandon with his new horses. The four mares and one stallion had to be kept separated to ease tensions on the trail. Today Tyler would lead the mares. He took the rope Brandon offered and tied it around his saddle horn.
“I’m happy to help with whatever I can.”
“You boys gonna jaw all day?” Osage asked, riding up alongside them. “Will done moved out and said you need to get caught up. We gotta stick close together.”
They were still a good three-day ride from the ranch, and with each passing mile the tension seemed to grow. Twice they had passed burned-out ranch houses and seen signs left by the warriors who’d done the deed. To their relief, so far there hadn’t been any bodies to bury or wounded to contend with.
They followed Osage and soon caught up with William and the others. William gave Tyler a brief nod before turning his attention back to the landscape before them. Each of the riders, including Andy, nervously scanned their surroundings for any sign of Indians.
“So what do you need my help with?” Brandon asked Tyler.
Smiling, Tyler felt rather sheepish now that the words actually needed to be said. “I’d like to . . . well . . . I plan to propose to Carissa. I guess I’d like your help, or maybe your blessin’. I know her folks are abroad, and we don’t know what we’ll find when we reach the ranch, but I’m prayin’ for the very best.”
Brandon frowned. “Me too. Nothing feels quite so bad as not knowing what’s going on.” He said nothing for a few minutes, then added, “I’m glad, though, that you want to marry Carissa. I think you two fit together. She’s gonna need a strong man who loves the Lord. One who knows her past and can be patient with her.”
“Well, I’ve thought about it for a long time now. Had nothin’ but time to think for months now.” He continued to watch the horizon for any sign of trouble. “The fact is, I love her. Love little Gloria, too. I don’t have a home to give them, but you can be certain I will provide for them. I’ve got the cattle sale money, and I’ve got additional cattle back home if the Comanche haven’t killed ’em off. I’ll give Carissa and Gloria a good home. I want you to know that.”
“I do, and I wasn’t worried in the least. Living on the trail with a fella for months on end lets you get to know their character pretty well. I already had a high opinion of you, but these months out here have proven that opinion is well-founded. I’m proud to call you friend.”
Tyler straightened a bit and nodded. “I feel the same. I have since we met in Corpus, and then when we had to go after the girls when Lowe meant to kill them . . . well . . . there isn’t much I wouldn’t do to help you.”
“So how soon you figure to marry?” Brandon asked.
“I guess that’s gonna depend on how quickly I can convince Carissa. She’s been hurt pretty bad. I reckon it’s not fair to push her too hard. I’ll ask when we get back, and if she says no, then we’ll just have to put our heads together and figure out another plan. If she says yes, then the sooner the better.”
“I know Laura will help us.” Then Brandon grew quiet and shook his head. “I cannot imagine my life without her, Tyler. She just has to be all right.”
“I’ve been prayin’ to be sure. I wish we could have found a faster way to get you back home. If the Indian troubles hadn’t destroyed the telegraph lines into Cedar Springs, we might have been able to send a wire.”
“At least then I’d know if . . .” He didn’t finish the thought. “We did as good as anyone could,” Brandon stated instead. “The trip to Kansas went well over all, and we’ve just had a few delays comin’ home. I know there’s absolutely nothing more I could have done.”
“Probably nothing you could have done if you’d stayed behind either,” Tyler added.
Brandon seemed to consider this for a moment. “I know you’re probably right, but still, I’d feel better had I done just that. Maybe my leavin’ caused her to worry more, and that brought the baby on early. Maybe she’s had to work too hard. Whatever caused the trouble, I know she must be afraid. I know that it can’t be easy.”
“But she’s in good hands.” Tyler met Brandon’s fretful expression. “Hannah is good at doctorin’, and so’s Juanita. I’m sure Laura has had the best of care. If those two couldn’t give her the help she needed, then there sure as shootin’ wouldn’t have been anything for you to do.”
“Still, I would have felt better just bein’ there.”
Tyler nodded. “I know you would’ve.”
“Just thought I’d ride out to let you know the latest,” the sheriff announced to Hannah, Carissa, and Juanita. The day was hot, and the sheriff took off his hat and wiped his forehead with the back of his sleeve.
“I appreci
ate that, Sheriff. It’s good to know that the army has driven the Indians back toward the reservations,” Hannah said, shifting baby Lucas in her arms. “Has there been any word on Herbert Lockhart?”
“No, I’m afraid there’s nothing to report where he’s concerned. The telegraph lines are down. Last I heard, though, the trackers figured him to be headed toward Mexico.”
Hannah’s expression seemed to relax. “I hope that’s the truth and that he’s soon caught.”
“Like I said before, it ain’t likely he’d be fool enough to come this way. Too many folks know him, and quite a few hold him a grudge.” He glanced around. “I heard tell the Terrys were stayin’ here with you. They still here?”
“Marietta was with us for a time, but Ted came to get her the day before yesterday.” Hannah motioned to the front door. “Would you like to come in or sit here on the porch?”
“Don’t really have time for either, though I wouldn’t mind a cool drink,” he said, smiling.
“I get it,” Juanita declared and disappeared into the house.
“Much obliged.” He nodded to the baby. “And how’s Mrs. Reid doing? Doc said she was takin’ a turn for the better.”
“That she has,” Hannah confirmed. “She’s still quite weak, but recovering.”
“In fact, I was just about to go to her,” Carissa said, reaching out to take the baby from Hannah. “I’ll tell her you asked about her.”
“Do,” the sheriff said with a smile. “I hope, too, that your men will be home soon.”
“We expect them most any day,” Hannah replied.
Carissa passed Juanita as she entered the house. The woman carried a small tray with not only some lemonade, but cookies, as well. No doubt the sheriff would appreciate the extra treat.
She quickly checked to see that Marty was still playing with Gloria, Daniel, and Robert in the backyard before heading to the bedroom to see Laura.
“So you’re awake,” she said, noting that Laura was sitting up in bed.
“Just,” Laura admitted. “I’m glad you came to visit me.”
Tracie Peterson - [Land of the Lone Star 03] Page 18
