“So, tell me, Ms. Sanchez, who made you do it? We need to know because it could be something much worse in future. You’ve got to stand up to your bully. Let the school help you.”
What?
I have frigging no idea that this would turn into a far more serious case like bullying.
“I’m telling you the truth, Principal Conner,” I repeat, sounding more adamant than before. “So what if I’ve never broken school rules? People do change, people do snap. It happens all the time these days. If you look at my grades, you will realize that I’m very down in Calculus. And these coming exams are very important. So I did what I thought could help me score a better grade.”
I think I’ve finally managed to get Principal Conner on the path to believe my lies. I smile inwardly―
“May I come in, Principal Conner?”
My eyes grow wide when I hear that calm and confident voice from behind. I turn in my chair to watch the door open and Devon walk inside.
Okay, this is bad news. What is he doing here?
“Principal Conner.” Devon looks straight into the old man’s alert eyes. “Just so you know it was me who coerced Eleanor Sanchez into stealing the Calculus papers from Mr. Murphy’s desk. I believe that should pretty much clear all the confusion you have.”
My jaw drops. Not Again!
The worst part is the principal seems to be pondering over his claims.
“He’s lying!” I protest at once but he’s not listening.
“Why would you do that?” Mr. Conner asks him gravely. “Your grades are excellent if not anything else.”
“I’m glad you remember that I’ve a penchant for breaking rules in every way I can.” Devon smiles slyly. “I did it for fun. To amuse myself. I thought how interesting it would be if the most unsuspecting girl is made to do some serious shady work. But I’m bored with the whole drama now. So I―”
“Principal Conner, don’t listen to him!” I interject forcefully. “Devon doesn’t know anything about this. I swear to god that he is lying!”
“Ms. Sanchez,” Principal Conner looks at me sharply. “That’s for me to look into. You need to get back to class right now. And Mr. Parker, I need to have a word with you.”
“Yes, Principal Conner.” Devon looks pleased.
I’m so frustrated right now. I shoot Devon a glare but he ignores it. Principal Conner writes me a late pass. I take that and leave the office with a grudge.
Everyone stares at me in disbelief as I stride the hallways. I can hear muffled whispers too. But I keep walking without looking sideways. I’ve got too much on my plate to give a damn.
“Eleanor, wait!” I hear Josh’s voice from behind.
“What’s going on?” Stef asks as she and Josh catch up with me.
“Can’t talk, I’ve got class.” I race ahead of them.
The same stares continue as I walk into class and show the late pass to the teacher. I ignore all of it and walk over to an empty seat in the middle row. It’s obvious I can’t concentrate. I feel so impatient and restless. I don’t know why Devon has to mess up everything every time. Principal Conner is sure to believe him ‘cause Devon has the kind of history that could make each of his false claims appear true. I stand no chance when compared to him.
Devon won’t be suspended for sure. Dave Parker wouldn’t let that happen under any circumstances. But there will be some kind of a punishment.
As I walk to my locker after class, there’s an announcement on the speaker from the principal’s office. Everybody in the hallways stops to listen. My worst fears come true, hearing Mr. Conner speak. Devon is suspended from the quarterback position and is also out of the football team.
My heart drops. Devon loves football. I have watched him play. I can’t see him lose something he has worked so hard for because of me. I feel even more conscience-stricken—the kind of guilt that annihilates everything inside me. I turn around. And come face to face with none other than Devon himself.
***
“What were you even thinking going about lying to the principal?!” I rebuke him strongly when we get inside an empty classroom and lock the door. “Look what happened. You’re out of the football team now!”
Devon scoffs. “News flash, Eleanor, I don’t care about not being on a team right now.”
“If you don’t yet, now is the time for you to start caring because I’m gonna make this very clear to you that I don’t need any of your damn saving,” I snap.
“You’re right, you don’t need any saving because you are the only one creating problems for yourself. You’re so good at it that you’ve even surpassed fate at the job,” he retorts in anger.
“Leave me alone, Devon. Stay out of my way,” I say sharply.
“Well, guess what, we’re a little too late for that ‘cause I care about you way too much than I could possibly care about anything else,” he counters. “I need to know why you did what you did last night. And let me remind you that I didn’t forget a similar stunt that you pulled a couple of months back when you were trying to get yourself arrested over a so-called vandalism charge.”
I look away from him and stand in silence.
Devon chuckles dryly. “You know what? Even if you don’t tell me why you keep doing this, let me give you a head start. I will keep on coming between you and your self-sabotaging missions however extensive it gets.”
That just deepens the pain in my chest.
Devon lets out a deep breath. “But I need to know, Eleanor. I really need to know,” he says grimly. “Why are you being so harsh on yourself? Why are you punishing yourself by being with a guy who disgusts you? Why are you punishing yourself by doing things you’d rather not? Why do you think you deserve to suffer, Eleanor?!”
“Because I believe that my father is never gonna come back and I want him to come back! I will do everything I can for him to come back. He can’t abandon me. I can’t let him!” I scream the words out loud, the very words that have been haunting my soul since last summer or perhaps even earlier than that.
Devon looks aghast. “What? You think pulling those stunts will make your father come back? Why would you even think that? I don’t understand.”
I feel my entire body convulse with anguish. “Don’t, Devon,” I say as he is about to take a step nearer. “Just don’t.”
Flicking off the lone tear that rolls down my cheek, I add, “I’m gonna go get you back on the football team. And if you dare to try and save me again, Devon, I swear you’ll see the scary side of me.”
***
I am sitting in Principal Conner’s office for the second time today. This time I’ve proof that last night was completely my own doing. Devon doesn’t know that I secretly recorded everything that we said in the classroom. Well, not everything. I’d stopped recording before he asked me why I was punishing myself.
So I play this voice record on my phone to the principal. He listens to it with a very serious expression on his face.
“Did you try to get arrested before as what Mr. Parker has claimed in the recording?” Principal Conner asks at the end of it.
I nod slowly. “Devon was just trying to protect me back then and this time too,” I say earnestly. “I’m really sorry for the trouble I caused Mr. Murphy and you. Please punish me, and not Devon.”
Principal Conner lets out a grave breath. “I will not punish you, Ms. Sanchez. Instead I’d urge you to talk to the school counselor to help you deal with your problems in a healthy way.”
I won’t because I know nothing can ever help me.
After I leave the Principal’s office, I come across Luke in the courtyard.
“We’re over, Eleanor,” he says matter-of-factly. “You can’t possibly think that I would want to be seen with you after today’s disaster. The only good thing that came out of it is Parker’s permanent suspension. And I’m the new quarterback. So yeah, I’m done with you for good.”
Precisely at that very moment, there’s the second announcement for t
he day from the principal’s office. Principal Conner clearly states over the speakers that Devon’s suspension from the football team has been revoked and that he is reinstated as quarterback.
True enough, the timing couldn’t have been any more perfect. I snicker seeing the look of shock on my so-called ex-boyfriend’s face.
“I hope you liked the sound of that, Luke.” I smirk. “And if you didn’t, I think I might have a better parting gift for you. Here it is.” And I punch him real damn hard on the face, which literally stupefies him for a good number of seconds. I’m so glad everyone around is watching; the way their jaws drop is simply picture perfect.
I spin around and walk off with my nose up in the air. I cannot explain how amazing I feel. I could literally do a little dance in the hallways. But surprisingly, I am not yet done with the jerk. I text Josh to send Luke’s incriminating photos to the entire school. Time to get his real jerk face out for everyone to see. My friend texts back with the cool smiley and a thumbs up.
Yeah, now I’m officially done with Luke Thomas.
Chapter Eighteen
Stef and Josh come over later that day after school, looking very worried and anxious. I open the kitchen door to let them in.
“Just so you know, you scared me to hell and back, E,” Stef says, as I close the door. “What was today all about?”
“All I know is that I shouldn’t have shown you Mr. Murphy’s meme,” mumbles Josh.
“I’m sorry guys that I blew you off in school today.”
“What’s the matter with you, E?” Stef looks at me closely. “You try to steal test papers, wanting to get caught in the act. You let Luke touch you in spite of knowing all the time that he’s a big ass jerk and you lie about Devon. Why?”
There’s a flat five seconds of silence before I speak, averting my gaze, “You wanna have some lemon cupcakes? Gran made some this morning; it’s amazing.”
I make my way across to the refrigerator to pull the door open.
“Eleanor, stop,” Stef calls from behind. I stand with my back towards my friends. Stef lets out a sigh as she adds, “You wouldn’t talk about what went down last summer but all I know is you were with Luke only because you believed you didn’t deserve happiness and love. Don’t destroy yourself anymore, E. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Parker got himself permanently kicked out of the team to bail you out and that’s saying something,” Josh remarks. “The guy is into you. And trust me, you’d never wanna be in Crystal’s shoes.”
“And why exactly are you dragging Crystal into all this?” Stef asks him.
I turn around to face them as Josh responds, “Remember how you guys thought that she likes me, which is why she wanted me to take her to the Young Hearts but I believed she had a hidden motive? Well, turns out she did have one. Devon Parker.”
“Devon?” I ask in surprise.
“Yep. She’s crazy about Parker ever since she heard him speak at the Debate Club at school a week before the school ball. Said she’d tried to ask him out once but he didn’t so much even look at her. All I can say is she genuinely likes him and not just for his looks.”
I wasn’t expecting to hear that but at the same time, I feel a ray of hope bubble inside me.
“Well, that’s it!” I exclaim eagerly. “If she’s crushing on Devon then I should really help her score a date with him. What if they click? That will be so amazing!”
“Are you crazy?!” Stef’s jaw drops. “You can’t do that. It’s won’t be fair for you or for him or for her. We should really talk about what’s hurting you instead.”
“Stef, you cannot just right a wrong that easily—a mistake that came into this world,” I counter in reflex.
“Is this…Is this about your mom…?” Stef looks troubled.
“Seeing Devon with someone else will help me move on,” I say. “And I’m sure he will like her too. She’s a great girl. Just the kind of person he needs in his life.”
“I’m sorry to say this but it’s not gonna work,” Josh shakes his head, looking troubled. “Drop it. I shouldn’t have told you. Trust me, my big mouth is useless.”
“No, I’m glad you said it,” I assure him. “This is seriously a big help.”
Both my friends look reluctant and worried. But I know what I’ve got to do.
***
Crystal and I are not exactly friends but good acquaintances. Both of us had accompanied little kids door to door around in the neighborhood for trick or treat last Halloween. And she’s very much fun to be with, which is why I think I’m doing the right thing.
Truth is, I don’t belong with Devon. He should be with a lively girl like her who can make him happy and give him a reason to always smile—someone without so much baggage who can melt away the anger and pain and guilt in him and teach him the beauty of forgiveness. Someone who can help him get closure and inspire him to live a good life.
I’m definitely not that girl. I can never be. I will only push him further into darkness, and I won’t do that ever.
Devon is not home when I go over at the Parkers’. So, I look for him in the only other place he is likely to be at: the trailer. And indeed, I find him there. To be honest, Devon lives in the trailer more than he lives at their house.
“Eleanor.” Devon darts towards me the moment I walk in the trailer. My heart beats erratically when he grabs my face and kisses me fervently.
“I heard that you punched the pig boy,” he whispers hoarsely on my lips. “You should receive a People’s Choice Award for that.” He is about to kiss me again but—
“Devon.” I step away from him, averting my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” He is startled that I backed out. “You dumped that douche, right?”
“No. He dumped me.”
“No, you did. A pig dumping a human is bizarre and doesn’t count,” he scoffs. But as he steps towards me, he adds in a solemn voice, “I want to talk about what you said back in the classroom.”
I take a step back.” There is this girl Crystal who is a junior in Westford High and she also lives in this neighborhood,” I say, looking at him.
“So what?”
“She is from New York too and she loves sketching, painting, calligraphy, and bowling.”
“Why are you telling me this? I’m not Facebook.”
“She likes you a lot, Devon. And…I think you should ask her out, get to know her more. I’m sure you’ll like her too.”
Devon looks flabbergasted, hearing that.
But then soon, I watch him clench his jaw as his eyes turns cold and blank. “If that’s your sense of humor, Eleanor,” his voice is low and quivers with rage, “then it doesn’t deserve to live a second more.”
My throat runs dry with fear, having gotten a glimpse of his silent anger. But I keep my tone steady and look him in the eye. “It’s not my sense of humor; it’s me being serious. Crystal is amazing. You wouldn’t know that unless you give her and yourself a chance.”
“I don’t remember asking you to play stupid cupid, Eleanor.”
I struggle to breathe when he grabs my arms roughly and yanks me closer to him so that there’s no gap between us. I am blinded by the hostility in his eyes. “Why are you pushing me away yet again?!” he demands.
“You should go out with Crystal once. You’ll thank me later.” I stand my ground.
“I don’t need anybody else ‘cause all I want is standing right here.” Devon’s expression grows firm.
“Crystal is really what you―”
“Why are you doing this to me, Eleanor? To us? When we can finally be together?!”
“Because I don’t want to be with you, Devon. Can’t you frigging understand?!” I snap in anger as I jerk him away from me. “You were right that day when you said I didn’t want you because you were damaged!” I scream. “I don’t want to be with someone with so many complications and issues. I feel suffocated! I don’t know why you feel that you mean something to me. Because you don’t, Dev
on. You never did. Which is why I never said anything!” Then I start to leave.
“You cannot turn your back on me, Eleanor!” Devon roars in fury. “Not when we’ve come so close!”
“Can’t you listen or can’t you understand? Which is it?!” I spin around fiercely at him. “We haven’t come any close because I regret every damn moment of being with you!”
A chilling silence descends between us—the kind that sucks the air from within me. I told him the very words that hurt him the most. And I wish he hates me for that.
“Fine,” Devon finally speaks in an eerily calm voice. “I will ask this Crystal girl out,” he adds. “If that’s the game you want to play, then count me in. But let me tell you something, Eleanor. I’ll decide the rules of this game and I hope you know that when I take on something, a lot of people end up getting hurt. Let me see how long you survive.”
With that, Devon walks past me and storms out of the trailer, slamming the door hard behind him.
My legs lose their strength, and I slump down on the cold floor. My heart throbs so wildly in pain that I start shivering. And before I know it, I start to have the worst breakdown I ever had.
***
The following morning in school, I am taking my books out from the locker before first period when I hear a chirpy voice behind me.
“Eleanor?”
“Hey, Crystal!” I turn around to see the redhead with sparkling brown eyes. “How are you?”
“Never been this happy ever before!” She beams. “I want to say a huge thank you. To be honest, that just won’t be enough. Can I, like, give you a big hug right here in the hallways if you don’t think that’s inappropriate?”
“Sure.” I giggle.
And the very next moment, I find myself enveloped in a bear hug. Okay.
“Yesterday was the best day of my life!” Crystal gushes as she pulls away. “I went on a dinner date with Devon Parker, can you believe that? ‘Cause I just cannot believe it yet! It was so amazing like the best fairy tale ever. Devon is so damn charming and gorgeous! We found so much in common that we talked and talked and talked. And the best part is, he’s asked me out for a second date already at The Mug after school today. Can’t wait for it!” She jumps in excitement.
Again: A Young Adult Romance Page 14
