by Jaleta Clegg
I was to plant the mosses and flowers that would surround the bench. I noticed the channel was still raw earth, the basin at the bottom of the fountain only a hole in the dirt. Mayguena showed me how to place seedlings in the soil. She set a tray of them on the bench. I knelt in the dirt and began planting according to Mayguena's instructions.
"Des Shira?" someone called from the main room.
Mayguena watched me set the seedling and nodded, satisfied. She left me to work while she attended to whoever had come calling. I heard her voice in the other room. I planted another seedling.
"You will work here," Mayguena said.
I glanced up and wished I hadn't. Tayvis stood behind her, nodding as she pointed to the dirt basin at the bottom of the rock wall. I looked quickly back down at the seedlings. I kept planting, moving mechanically.
"I was told you had some skill at setting tiles," Mayguena continued, oblivious to me. Or so she seemed, I would have bet she was aware of every thought I had. "You will use these to create an illusion of water flowing and rippling, both in the basin and down the streambed. Do you understand?"
"Yes, des Shira," Tayvis said. I shivered at his voice.
Mayguena moved away. I risked a glance at Tayvis. He was sorting piles of tiny shards of translucent blues. I turned away, reaching for another tray of seedlings.
We both worked in silence for a while. I moved closer to him with each round of seedlings I planted. He lined the basin and streambed with a sand mixture that hardened quickly. I planted a final tray of seedlings, which brought me right to the edge of the streambed. I stayed on my knees, my dirt covered hands lying limply on my lap. I watched Tayvis work, not looking past his hands as he smoothed the coating into place.
"I don't know if I'm happy or not to see you here," he said quietly. "How did Lowell get you involved this time?"
I bit my lip. Mayguena was gone and the door to the rest of the rooms was shut.
Tayvis glanced up at my face. I dropped my gaze to my lap and answered before I thought better of it.
"Lowell didn't talk me into it. It was the Eggstone. Someone smashed it. We were captured on Serrimonia."
"We? Jasyn and Clark are with you?"
"No." I shifted back, careful of the new plants. "Not them. Lowell sent one of his agents with me."
"Who?"
I shifted back, uncomfortable by the conversation. It was too dangerous. I shouldn't be remembering. I had no past.
"Dace," he said, patiently asking for an answer.
I couldn't talk anymore. I was close to losing control just being so near him. I couldn't remember, I didn't dare. I backed farther, onto the narrow pathway between the plants. The rough stones were hard under my knees.
"What did they do to you?"
I shivered, remembering nights and days spent living only by Reashay's whims. They would send me back if I disappointed them. I wouldn't survive this time.
Mayguena came back. I heard her steps on the stone paving of the courtyard. I moved back farther, on the ground next to the bench. Mayguena crossed the narrow bridge, stopping to watch Tayvis work. She then inspected my planting.
"Go wash, Pooki," she said. "I have a different project for you now."
I hurried away, not daring to look at Tayvis.
I scrubbed my hands clean in the wide sink. I avoided looking in the mirror. I didn't want to know what I looked like. I didn't want to see the haunted, broken look in my eyes. I lingered as long as I thought I could. I had to go back eventually.
I went the long way around, hoping Mayguena would be in the front room at the loom. She wasn't. She was by the new fountain, sitting on the bench and watching Tayvis work. I didn't have a choice. I crossed the tiny bridge to the bench.
She patted it, next to her. "Sit here," she said. I sat. She handed me a strip of filmy fabric of a pale blue. "You sew so well, I wanted to see what you could do with embroidery."
She opened a case of threads. All colors of the rainbow glimmered inside with the feel and smoothness of very expensive thread. Mayguena stood.
"I will be back in a while to see how you're doing," she told me.
She left again. I was alone with Tayvis.
He set tiny bits of colored glass onto the sand colored coating, creating a pattern of waves and ripples from the shades of blue and green. He didn't look up.
I plucked the fabric. It was very sheer, lightweight and gossamer thin. I picked up a spool of silver and threaded a fine needle. My fingers worked without my conscious control, stitching tiny stitches, outlining a figure on the cloth.
"What did they do to you?" Tayvis asked again. I heard the strain in his voice.
"Trained me to be a pet," I said, my voice tiny and small and defeated.
"Dace—"
"Don't. Don't make it harder, Tayvis. Please." I kept my head down, watching the shape growing under my fingers.
He worked in silence for a while, the tiny tiles chiming as he sorted them.
"You'd rather I call you Pooki?"
"No," I whispered.
"You've given up."
I didn't answer. I stitched silver on the blue. He set tiles. Time passed.
Mayguena came back, checking on our progress. The silver under my fingers was a bird, a fantasy of yearning and flight. I poured my heart into it, searching for the hope that watching birds used to give me. I hadn't seen any on this planet.
Mayguena lifted the fabric in her hands and held it up. "You are truly talented. What is it?"
"A bird," I answered, my head down. The dirt under my bare feet was cool. "A flying creature."
"How utterly unique." She sounded pleased. "Would you like more to embroider?"
"If it pleases you."
"It does please me." She turned to the streambed and Tayvis' work. "I can almost see the water. Return tomorrow."
He began cleaning up, placing lids back on the various containers of glue and tiles and stones. Mayguena left us alone again. I sat with my hands in my lap. She'd taken the fabric with her.
Tayvis stood in front of me. I couldn't look at him, not wearing the short tunic that all slaves wore. He touched my hand, a brief warmth that I wanted to cling to. I didn't dare. He was gone before I found the courage to look up. I squeezed my hands into fists, wanting to remember the warmth of his touch. It was more comforting than anything, brief as it was.
I couldn't allow myself the luxury of hope. Mayguena saw too much.
Lilliasa came back late, complaining loud and long about her father and her future husband and their politicking. She banged her way around the room until Mayguena calmed her down enough to get her to go to bed.
"At least he's going away again," Lilliasa said. "He and Gyth are flying south tomorrow to check out the new mines he's opening. I've been ordered to stay here. He doesn't trust me, Mayguena. He's sending Bradoc to keep an eye on me." Lilliasa pulled a sour face. "My older, wiser, and much more responsible brother."
"Better Bradoc than Kolvon," Mayguena said.
"He's still besotted with that witch he married last year," Lilliasa said. "That's at least one good thing about her. She keeps him well occupied."
"Go to sleep. Tomorrow we'll think of a better plan." She leaned over Lilliasa, whispering.
I brushed Shadita's long fur. The creature flopped on my lap, thoroughly worn out by being with Lilliasa all day. I found some comfort in her warmth. Shadita snored beside me that night.
Tayvis came the next morning shortly after breakfast. Lilliasa and Mayguena went somewhere, they hadn't seen a need to tell me anything other than that I was to straighten the rooms and keep Shadita occupied. Mayguena showed Tayvis into the courtyard before leaving. Tayvis settled down next to the streambed and started working.
Shadita was in a perverse mood that morning. She snapped at me, making a strange popping noise in her throat that told me she was displeased. I tried to brush her anyway. I had my orders. She nipped my hand. I pulled back, trying to avoid being bitten. She br
oke for the courtyard, scampering on her short legs as fast as she could go.
I muttered a curse and ran after her. She'd gotten the side of my hand. Not enough to break the skin but enough to cause a nasty bruise. She darted through the tangle of potted plants, neatly avoiding me as I tried to grab her.
She darted into the open space near the streambed. She skidded to a stop a mere foot from Tayvis. She made the popping noise at him, bouncing up and down on her short little legs. He turned to look at her. She backed off a step. Her eyes were bugging out of her head as she kept bouncing.
I came up behind her, intending to grab her while she was otherwise occupied. She skidded farther from me.
Tayvis held out one hand to her. I bit my lip to keep from shouting. He was asking to be bitten or worse. Shadita tolerated few people.
To my surprise Shadita stopped bouncing. The popping stopped. She waddled forward a step and warily sniffed his fingers. He held still. She snuffled heavily. A long tongue of bright purple shot out and slimed his fingers. Shadita plopped to the ground, chirping happily. Tayvis rubbed her belly. She squirmed around and fell into the shallow ditch. Tayvis picked her up.
"Hard to work with you in there." He turned to hand her to me.
I was caught by surprise. I looked full into his warm brown eyes. And it no longer mattered that the last time I'd seen him he'd arrested me, or that the time before that I'd shot him. Or that we were both slaves now. The look in his eyes took me clear back to a warm night on Ylisini when he'd kissed me goodbye and promised to meet me when his enlistment was up.
"You weren't on Proxima," I said.
"I was detained," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching in his version of a smile. "You'll still forgive me?"
"Yes. And for arresting me, too."
"You would bring that up." Shadita hung limply in his hand, her head dangling upside down. Her mouth was open in an animal smile. "What do you want me to do with this?"
"Her name's Shadita," I said as I scooped her furry body from his hands. "And she's a pest today."
Shadita snapped. She wriggled, trying to get back to Tayvis. I gave up and sat next to him on the smooth stones that bordered the side of the artificial streambed. Shadita curled up on Tayvis' foot.
"I guess I can work around that." He handed me one of his jars. "You want to sort some out for me? Unless you have something else you're supposed to do."
It was awkward. But Mayguena hadn't left me any instructions that I hadn't taken care of already. I took the jar and shook some of the tiles out on the stones. I found myself relaxing, working next to him while he laid the tiny tiles in the streambed. We worked in silence, Shadita's snoring the only noise in the courtyard. I could almost pretend we were somewhere else.
"Do you have more blue ones? The deep blue," Tayvis asked.
I bent over to see the tiles better. He touched my back, where the neck of my dress dipped down. The scars from Reashay's beatings showed along the top. I'd deliberately not looked after Mayguena had given me some cream for them, right after I'd been given to Lilliasa. His hand moved down my back. The fabric was thin enough I was sure he felt every ridge of scar tissue.
"Your blue tiles," I said, turning to face him. I held the tiles cupped in my hands. I looked down, avoiding his eyes. I didn't want to see what had to be in his eyes.
He didn't move to take them. His hand was still out towards me. He slowly lowered it, resting it over my hands.
"I'm so sorry." I heard the pain in his voice.
"So am I." I let the tiles tumble to the ground and pulled my hands back.
"Don't give up hope, Dace. I'm sure Lowell—"
"Is doing what? He sent me out here because that was all he could do. He told me there was no backup, no help. Over forty ships have gone missing in the last couple of years." I backed away while I talked.
He reached out and stopped me by taking one wrist. I couldn't make myself pull it free. I stared at his hand. His skin was darker than I remembered. There was dirt under his nails.
"So we find our own way out. You've done it before. I've heard that this place is like Vallius."
"It's worse. Much worse."
"Dace, look at me." He waited. I stared at his hand instead. "Or should I call you Pooki?"
I looked up. The white of his slave collar stood out around his neck. I swallowed and felt my own collar like a noose waiting to be tightened.
"There has to be a way out. Somewhere, somehow. I promise not to leave without you."
"You really believe that, Tayvis?"
"That I won't leave you?" He smiled, a wry twist of his lips. "Don't give up. You aren't alone here."
"No, I have Shadita to keep me busy."
Shadita rolled onto her back and let out a juicy snore.
"That shouldn't be too difficult."
"It isn't."
He slid his hand around mine. "Is that all you do?" He let go and turned back to the streambed.
"I hang up dozens of outfits every morning once Lilliasa decides what to wear." I closed my fingers, wanting to remember his hand in mine. "They aren't the ones who beat me. That was before. They treat me like a pampered pet." It came out bitter and hopeless.
"A vacation for you."
"I'd rather be on the Phoenix, confined to the ship." I shouldn't have let that slip. I blinked tears away. I had no past, I couldn't afford to have a past.
"I was a month away from getting a cargomaster's bars," Tayvis said. "When we get back, my enlistment will be up. You think you could arrange for me to qualify?"
I didn't know how to respond. I stared at the back of his head, at where his dark hair just curled at the ends. He glanced back at me.
"The captain of the ship has to sign the papers," he said. "You're still the captain, aren't you?"
That hurt. I closed my eyes, retreating from him, from the hope he wanted me to have. I couldn't allow myself that luxury. His hands were warm on my face. He kissed my forehead.
And then he turned back to the tiles.
Shadita snorted and woke herself. She shook herself head to toe and trotted up to me. Whatever grudge she'd had against me had apparently been forgiven. She butted my hands, demanding to be brushed.
I brushed her. Hope grew with each stroke. I would get free of here. And Tayvis would be with me. He still loved me.
"Maybe I should have weapons installed so you have something else to do." My voice was cracked, hushed in the silent courtyard. "You'd have to convince Clark you can shift cargo as well as he can."
"That's more like it," Tayvis said.
And smiled at me.
Chapter 20
It took Tayvis two more days to finish the tiles. Mayguena was very pleased with his work. She was also very pleased with my embroidery. She'd given me a wide ribbon of spun turquoise, silky and smooth, to edge the piece. Lilliasa wore it as a scarf and made certain I heard how the other women had raved over it.
"I could be rich selling your work," she told me.
I ducked my head. "Yes, des Shira," I said obediently.
"And I'd give you at least half. You could buy your freedom in a year or two." Lilliasa preened in front of the mirror, swirling the scarf around her throat.
I swallowed and hid the sudden shaking of my hands in a pile of her clothing. I could buy my freedom? And then do what with it?
"Except they would never allow that," Mayguena said, puncturing my sudden hope. "Very few slaves are allowed to buy their freedom. Even if they have the resources."
I glanced at her, surprised by the note of sympathy in her voice. She met me with a bland look. Her face gave nothing away. I realized I'd just broken one of Reashay's rules and dropped my gaze to the clothing I held. I turned to the closet and busied myself re-hanging them.
"I wish to walk in the gardens tonight," Lilliasa announced. "The weather is so perfect and it's been ages since I last watched a sunset. Besides," she added slyly, "we might catch a glimpse of the gifted artist who did such a
fabulous job on my fountain. You did like him, didn't you, Pooki?"
She caught me off guard. The filmy dress slid off the hangar. I bent quickly to retrieve it.
"Who is he?" Mayguena asked me. "Someone you knew before?"
Reashay's training took over, she'd beaten the reaction into me. I dropped to my knees, my face to the floor, the dress left crumpled beside me.
"I have no past," I whispered.
I watched Mayguena's feet approach me. And then she turned and walked away.
"Reashay ruined her," she said to Lilliasa. "I could hate that woman."
I gathered the dress and hung it in the closet. Neither of them said anything more to me. I retreated to a corner and sat, waiting as I'd been taught.
"Come, Pooki," Lilliasa said finally. "Perhaps you need fresh air. Shadita enjoys it."
"She enjoys the gardens more," Mayguena said. She handed Shadita's leash to me. "Keep her from eating too much."
"Yes, des Shira," I said.
I followed them through the mansion, Shadita trotting happily beside me.
The gardens weren't deserted. A group of men in rich clothing gathered in a wide area bordered with tall plants in full bloom. A lacy table held an assortment of drinks.
"Lia," one of them called. "Such a pleasure to see you. I thought you spent the evenings in your room." His comment was implied threat and demand for explanation hidden in courteous interest.
"I go where I please, brother of mine," Lilliasa said. I heard the bite in the words, hidden under a veneer of social pleasantry.
"She challenges you?" Another man spoke.
I kept my eyes down, as a good slave should. Shadita trotted around me, sampling the shrubbery. I had to keep moving to keep her leash untangled. I only noticed that the men were all very tall. They towered over Lilliasa. I felt like a child, even she was taller than me. Shadita was the only thing shorter. The shrubs were well over my head.
"Lilliasa is a good child," the first man spoke. He had to be Bradoc, the brother left to keep an eye on her.
"I have Mayguena to chaperone me," Lilliasa said, this time not bothering to hide the bite. "I don't need you."
