by Nicki Elson
“Yeah, we love D,” Kate echoed.
“I’m glad,” Jen said, slipping out of the silver gown to put on the strapless, red one. It fit better and was flattering against the tan that remained from Sanibel.
“It won’t be long before we’re trying on bridesmaid dresses for each other’s weddings,” Kate said.
“I wonder whose will be first,” “Maria said, sliding a competitive sideways glance at Kate.
***
Later that night on Jen’s bed, with D’s shirt completely off and Jen’s in disarray, he paused the action, holding his hand to the side of her face. “I love you, Jenny.”
“Yay.” She smiled from underneath him, pressing her hand against the smooth muscle of his broad chest.
“Yay?” His eyebrows pulled together. “Anything you’d like to add to that?”
“I love you, too.”
A corner of D’s mouth twitched up, and he shifted to lay his side on the bed, taking his weight off her. Tracing his finger lightly across her forehead, he swept her hair from her eyes. “Benny and Margo asked if we want to share a room with them in Indy. What do you think?”
Jen had expected the question and was prepared with her answer. “I think we should get our own room.”
“Are you sure?” He trapped her in the intensity of his steel blue gaze.
“Uh-huh.”
Just like that, it was decided—on the night of formal, Jen would lose her virginity. Again. Which meant she couldn’t put off setting her boyfriend straight about her virtue for another second.
“D, there’s something I have to tell you.” Her stomach rolled. She brought her hand to rest along the strong line of his jaw in an attempt to steady herself. “I’m not a virgin.”
“What?” He jerked his head away from her hand.
“I know I let you think I was. But in a way. I kind of am a virgin because the other time was just to get experience so I’d be ready when I met…you.” D rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Jen fell onto him, pressing her face against his warm, bare chest. “Please don’t be mad. I was afraid to tell you, and I let you keep thinking I was a virgin for way too long. I know that. But there was never a good time. I love you, D. Please don’t be mad.”
She listened to his heart thunder while she waited for a response. His arms lay by his side. He didn’t lift them to touch her or offer any comfort. At least he hadn’t pushed her off of him—yet.
“When?” he finally demanded in a voice like stone.
“It was a long time ago, before I ever met you. The end of sophomore year. It meant nothing. We weren’t even dating. I seriously only did it for experience. He knew the deal.” She kept the side of her face pressed to his chest so she wouldn’t have to see his expression.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I don’t know. I just…I liked the way you looked at me when you thought I was still innocent. Like I was special.”
He threaded his fingers through the back of her hair and lifted her head, turning it to face him. “How am I looking at you right now?”
She studied the rigid lines of his face. There was iciness in his blue eyes but also the customary tenderness. “Like you’re mad. But like you still love me.”
“I do, Jen. I’ll admit that I liked the idea of getting to be your first, but your virginity isn’t what made you special. I wish you hadn’t felt the need to hide things from me. I didn’t hide anything from you.”
“I’m sorry, D. I’m so sorry.”
“Is part of your reason for not telling me because you still care for the guy?”
“No! That’s not it at all. There wasn’t any caring, not in a romantic way—on either side.”
“Who was it?”
She’d never asked D to name names. There was no point to knowing. “It doesn’t matter who. That’s what I’m telling you. He didn’t matter then and he doesn’t now. I love you, and you’re the only one I’ll ever be with again.” She pressed her mouth to his chest. “I’m yours, D.” Working
her way across him in a line of baby kisses, she said in between, “I’m so glad I was finally honest with you … I know I can trust you with everything … No more secrets.” She slid her mouth up his throat to his square jaw where she lingered for a moment, tickling him with tiny bites. Bringing her lips to his ear, she whispered, “I want to give you everything, D. I’m yours.”
He maneuvered his body so that he hovered over her. Raking his fingers into her hair, he held her to face him. “You’re mine.” He said it as if reassuring himself.
Jen nodded, keeping her eyes steady on him. D crushed his lips onto hers, letting his full weight press upon her. Thrusting his thick, hot tongue into her mouth, he ran his flat palm along the length of her body, marking territory. His kiss eventually lightened, and Jen knew everything was okay between them. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, happy to have her Big D back so soon. Honesty wasn’t so bad, after all.
Chapter 9
While Jen packed a few last-minute items for formal weekend, Maria popped into her room and dropped a foil condom packet into her bag. “Does my little girl have any questions before her big night with Big D?”
“No, Mom, I’m all set. Thanks.” Jen smiled.
“I suppose that makes sense. After all, it’s not like it’s your first time.”
Jen stopped packing and looked at her roommate with an eyebrow arched.
“Don’t act so innocent. You and David…”
Jen’s mouth fell open. “How did you know?”
“I guess I didn’t actually know until just now. But I suspected.”
“Why?”
Maria shrugged. “I don’t know. Along the way something changed in the way he looked at you. I can’t explain it. It was just like…he knew you, and then he knew you.”
Jen couldn’t stop the spontaneous smile that sparked across her lips. Reaching to adjust her ponytail, she tried to be concerned whether or not her hair was long enough for an up-do. Somehow that didn’t seem to matter as much as it had a few moments ago. “Is D going to look at me differently, too?” she asked.
Maria opened her mouth as if to respond, but then closed it, giving her head a small shake that sent her long, black waves dancing.
“What?” Jen crossed her arms in front of her and stared her roommate down.
“I’ve seen you give the look, too. At David.”
Jen let out a disbelieving squeak. “When?”
“I don’t know when. I just saw it. But it doesn’t matter because you’ll be giving D that look from now on.”
“Yeah,” Jen agreed with a practical smile. She’d be giving that look to D from now on…whatever “that look” was.
A horn beeped as Benny pulled into the parking lot outside their apartment. He drove a big, white Suburban filled with Sigma Chi’s and their dates. Big D jumped out to rush to the apartment and take Jen’s bags. As soon as the two of them settled into the middle row, Benny screeched out of the parking lot.
After a few rousing choruses of “American Pie” and the like, Jen announced, “Some pretty decent music’s been written in the last three decades. You might want to check it out sometime.” She’d been hyper-conscious of her chameleon-like tendencies since her fight with Maria and Kate and wanted to make clear her disapproval of the musical choices.
D wrapped his big arms around her, singing louder and out of tune. Jen struggled to get out of his grip, laughing, but he pulled her down to the seat and pelted her with kisses.
Benny looked at them through the rearview mirror. “Good thing those two got their own room.”
The group’s excitement waned during the second hour of the two-hour trip. Everyone either fell asleep, like D, or gazed silently out the window, like Jen. She thought about David and his superior taste in music. She and D hardly ever overlapped in musical tastes. He mostly liked heavy metal and oldies from the seventies. It was scary how much of his collection overlapped with her dad’s
.
At last they reached Indianapolis and checked into the hotel. Jen and D deposited their bags in their room next to the king-sized bed. After a quick kiss, Jen grabbed her dress and left him to meet up with Margo and some of the other girls. They were getting dressed together in one of the other rooms. Kelly helped Jen with her hair, pinning it up into an elegant twist. Somebody else caked way more makeup than Jen was used to onto her face. She had to admit, the effect was stunning. If there was one thing sorority girls knew, it was hair and makeup.
One by one, the boys knocked on the door to escort their dates to the party. When D got a look at Jen, he let out a low whistle and stared, his jaw dropping. She walked up to him in her ruby, strapless gown and touched her index finger to his broad chin, gently pushing it back up into place. “You all right?” she asked.
D’s lips spread into a wide smile, showing off his perfect set of pearly whites. “You look amazing.”
“Thanks.” Her eyes scanned his handsome figure in a black tux with his dark hair slicked back almost like the first night she’d met him, but tonight it was more debonair than superhero. “You look pretty good yourself.”
“Picture!” Kelly squealed, snapping a photo of Big D and Jen.
The two of them left the room and walked toward the elevator. D said to Jen in a low murmur, “You wanna head to the room first?”
Jen thought he was joking, but when she looked into his hungry eyes, she saw he wasn’t. “D! We couldn’t. Kelly’ll kill me if I show up at the party with so much as a single bobby pin out of place.”
Until that moment, Jen had been all eager anticipation to finally have sex with Big D. But now that it lurked so imminently in his expression, she felt a flash of trepidation. This was going to happen. She wanted it to happen. So why was she filled with an urge to run screaming down the hall until she crashed through the window at the end of it?
She squashed the sensation, plastering on a smile. With the arm she’d tucked under his, she pulled him forward to the elevator. They joined fellow party goers on the way down, and D struck up a conversation with them. She was glad to see he wasn’t mad. As they made their way to the reception hall, she brushed off her fear as simple nerves. She’d been scared for her first time with David, too. And this would be a different kind of first time, a more important one.
But there was still the size issue. David had been satisfactory—more than satisfactory, sensational—but D was like a different species. Jen had to admit she was concerned about being able to handle all of that. But Big D loved her. He’d take it easy on her. She didn’t need to worry.
They found their table, and soon after, dinner was served. While they ate, someone made a toast to the Sigma Chi seniors and a few awards were given—D had been voted “Sigma Sweetheart” in a poll of CIU sororities. The band came out while the plates were cleared, and dancing started. While D was involved in a heated debate over whether the Cubs or White Sox were off to a better start to the season, Jen went to one of the small bars at the edge of the room to get them each another drink. Her eyes wandered around the room as she waited in line. She didn’t give the bartender a glance until she was face-to-face with him.
She gasped out loud when she saw who it was. Sexy super-senior Dave. He wore a crisp, white shirt and black bowtie, carrying it off in a James Bond kind of way. His hair was longer than it had been the last time she’d seen him and the tips were bleached to a platinum blond. His gorgeous, green eyes were as mesmerizing as ever.
“Small friggin’ world, Gigi.” Half his top lip raised in a smirk.
Jen beamed a smile back at him. She couldn’t think of a better night to run into an ex than when she was all dressed up and looking good. “What’re you doing here?”
“I’m living in Indy now, managing the band. Well, part of the band—two of the guys from CIU joined forces with an amazing drummer and a bass player out here. I’m just working this hotel job to pay the bills until things take off. You still in Chicago?”
“I will be after the end of the semester.”
“The band has a gig there in July. You should check it out.” He eyed the line building up behind her and asked, “What’ll it be?”
“Two vodka tonics, please.”
“Coming up. Who’re you here with?” he asked as he poured the vodka.
“Big D.” She gestured toward her boyfriend near the dance floor. “You know him. You used to do business with him.”
As he shot seltzer into the glasses, Dave peered into the crowd toward where Jen had indicated. “I remember him. You guys need anything tonight?”
“Not really our scene.”
“Okay.” Dave shrugged and handed her the glasses.
“Nice seeing you. I’m sure I’ll be back for more of these.” She left to bring D his drink.
The baseball talk continued, so she wandered off to chat with some of the girls. When the band started playing R.E.M.’s “Superman,” Jen glanced over at Big D. Sure enough, he’d spread his arms out in what he thought was a Superman pose and sang along, as he did whenever he heard that song. He looked over at Jen and pointed to her as he sang, curling his finger for her to come over.
Jen smiled and went to him. For the next hour she danced and laughed and occasionally snuck a peek at Dave at the bar. He caught her looking and winked.
She was back at her table, busy trying to bounce quarters into a champagne glass when Dave appeared next to her. D, who sat at her other side, stood and held his hand out to Dave. “Hey, man, how’re you doing? Jen told me you were here.”
“I’m good.” Dave shook his hand. “Do you mind if I steal your girl for a minute?”
“That’s up to her,” D said, laying a hand across the back of her chair.
“Jen?” Dave said, his cut glass eyes falling onto her. “Can we talk real quick?”
Mostly out of curiosity, she got up, telling D she’d be right back. She followed Dave’s panther-like prowl through the room to a side door. He led Jen through the doorway and into a short hall with stacks of extra tables and chairs piled at one end. At the other end was a silver swinging door, which Jen presumed led to the kitchen. Dave spun around to face her, so quickly that she was forced to take a step back. She felt the cool wall press against the bare skin at her shoulders.
He moved closer, bringing his lithe body within an inch of hers, and placed a hand on the wall just above her shoulder. “You look fucking phenomenal in that dress.” Jen sensed the growl just beneath the surface of his deep voice. His smoldering eyes traveled down her length as far as they could see with his body pressed so close to hers.
Jen’s limbs went weak. She was grateful for the support of the wall behind her.
Dave touched his fingertips to the base of her throat, tracing and tickling over her skin. “Look, I know formal’s a big night for good girls to be bad, and I was thinking, instead of playing around with some fraternity poser, you should be with someone who’d make it worth your while.” His long fingers worked back and forth across her flesh, meandering slowly lower, ever closer to the top of Jen’s strapless gown.
She knew she should push him away…but she stayed still. Her heart beat rapid fire. She was certain he could feel every palpitation.
“Seriously, a fine woman like you would be totally wasted on that guy.”
She was well past having any delusions about Dave, but his rumbling voice and sure but gentle touch were intoxicating. Despite her better instincts, at that moment, Jen wanted his practiced hands all over her.
“I get off at one o’clock,” he purred before touching his full lips to the bare flesh just below her collar bone, making her feel as if blood vessels burst all over her body. Pulling back, he raised one side of his lip in a dirty smile. “You could be getting off by one twenty.” His fingertips reached the bust-line of her dress. He leaned forward, moving his mouth dangerously close to hers.
She tasted his cool, sweet breath as it floated across the small space between their lips. S
liding her hands up over the starched fabric covering the firm, beautiful chest she’d once licked, she pushed, putting a precious few inches between them. He cocked a questioning eyebrow, and Jen felt a triumphant rush. She’d finally tapped into her own superpower to combat his: self-respect. “You had your chance a year ago, and you blew it.”
“Aw, sweetheart…”
The silver door swung open. Bright light poured into the hallway. Both Jen and Dave whipped their faces toward it. She had her hands on his chest; he had one hand on the wall and the other cupping the red fabric over Jen’s breast. A girl in uniform black pants and white shirt came to an abrupt halt, glaring at them.
After a moment of dead silence, during which Jen and Dave stayed frozen in their incriminating positions, the girl screamed, “You asswipe!” She turned and stomped away, the door swinging shut behind her.
Dave gave Jen an apologetic smirk, although Jen had the distinct impression she wasn’t the person who deserved his apology. “That was Heather. We’re sort of seeing each other.” He turned his finely chiseled face toward where the girl had disappeared and shrugged. “She was getting to be a pain in the ass, anyhow.” He pulled his hand from Jen to glance at his watch and then back at her. “Break’s over. If you change your mind, I’ll be at the Spider Bar in the lobby ’til two. Meet me there. I’m sure you can find a way to ditch Big Dufus.” He opened the door to the banquet room and turned to her, adding with a wink, “That’s what the D stands for, right?”
Jen took a few deep inhales after he disappeared. Then she pushed off the wall and went back into the party, finding Big D and grasping onto his hand.
“What was that about?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Nothing. It was stupid.” It was almost extremely stupid, she thought to herself. A suspicious narrowing of D’s eyes inspired her to add, “I met his girlfriend. Her name’s Heather and she works here.”
Jen stayed close to her boyfriend’s side for the rest of the evening. As she danced a slow dance with her arms wrapped around D’s burly frame, she got angry at Dave for calling him a dufus. D was the sweetest guy she knew. All the sorority girls on campus apparently agreed. Besides, she’d take a dufus over a womanizing, self-absorbed, ethically challenged jerk any day.
