by Megan Berry
“When I saw you on top of those shelves, my heart almost stopped,” he admits to me, and I hug him close again. The thump of his heart against my ear is comforting, and I relax for the first time in two days.
Ryan pulls away from me and looks at Silas who is sitting on his bed, minding his own business, and puffing away on a lit cigarette.
“Who is this guy?” he asks, and it sounds a bit rude to my ears.
“Ryan, this is Silas. Silas, Ryan,” I awkwardly introduce them. Ryan politely puts his hand out, but Silas pointedly ignores it. I watch an angry flush enter Ryan’s cheeks.
“Silas was staying in the apartment across the alley from the pharmacy and helped me.”
Ryan looks like he doesn’t want to believe it.
“Did you see the message at the pharmacy?” I ask, and Ryan nods. “That was Silas’ idea.” I watch Ryan digest this information.
“I’m glad you had someone when I wasn’t there,” he says at last.
I smile, admiring him for taking the higher ground.
Silas grunts, accepting his due of the compliment before ashing his cigarette out in one of the four beer cans littering his nightstand.
Ryan gives me a look, and I shrug helplessly.
“What now?” Ryan asks, suddenly looking unsure. I look at him, not sure what he’s asking me.
“We stay here till morning,” I say at last. There is no way I’m leaving this room in the dark unless I absolutely have to.
Ryan glances towards Silas like he thinks Silas is going to kick him out. Honestly, I have no idea what Silas is thinking, but I shake my head anyway.
“I paid for half this room. You’re staying.” I say firmly, not sure when I became the one to make decisions.
“Fine,” Silas says suddenly, “But he isn’t bunking with me.” Silas is so random that I laugh.
Ryan frowns at me like I’m a crazy person.
“What do you mean you paid for this—?” Ryan asks in confusion.
“Do you need help bringing that woman from the car accident inside?” I interrupt him as I suddenly remember the reason we were even in that cursed pharmacy.
Before he speaks, the look on Ryan’s face tells me that the woman is no longer with him.
“What happened?” I ask softly, leading him towards my bed.
“I looked for you, but I couldn’t find you, and Helen was bleeding out back there…” I can sense Ryan’s guilt. On one hand, he wanted to look for me and felt like he had betrayed me when he stopped looking to help the woman. On the other hand, perhaps the time he spent looking for me is the reason she isn’t here. Now I start to feel guilty.
Ryan pulls off his shoes and his pack and stretches out on the bed. I lay down beside him and curl into his side.
“Then what?” I prompt. The dog jumps up and snuggles against my side. Ryan raises an eyebrow but doesn’t ask where I got the little mutt.
“We stayed in a house on the end of the street. There were a lot of zombies around, but we kept quiet and they lost track of us eventually. I tried to fix her up as much as I could, but I think she lost too much blood. I woke up to her trying to bite me, so I had to put her down.”
I feel ill listening to Ryan’s story, and I know he doesn’t feel any better about it either.
“Was she bitten?” I ask, finding it strange that she turned into a zombie.
Ryan shrugs. “I have no idea. With all her car accident wounds, it was hard to see if she had any scratched or bites.”
“You tried. That’s the important thing,” I reassure him, but I know he doesn’t believe me.
“I risked our lives for nothing…”
I use my good arm to stroke his hair in a calming fashion. “Let’s just get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning,” I suggest, my heart aching when I realize that I’ve instinctively spouted off one of my Mom’s favorite pieces of advice.
I hear Silas snort in disagreement, but I ignore him and shut my eyes. Ryan is here now. Tomorrow has to be better.
Ryan and I wake up to find that Silas is gone. I change the dressing on my wound with Ryan’s help. His face is grim set as he sees what happened to me when I jumped out that window. I pop a couple antibiotics and force myself to eat, heeding Silas’ warning not to get my stomach lining eaten out by the pills.
“Should we get back on the road?” Ryan asks, he doesn’t seem at all concerned that Silas isn’t here anymore.
I nod.
We step out into the cool, crisp morning air. I look around, but I don’t see any zombies. I do, however, see Silas’ “borrowed” truck still parked at the motel.
“I’m going to go say goodbye to the couple that gave us a room last night,” I tell Ryan, and he nods.
“I’ll pull the truck in closer and meet you in there,” he tells me, giving my hand a quick squeeze before he walks off.
The dog pads along at my feet, and I stop to pet him for a second. The office smells like moth balls as much as it did yesterday, but I’m used to it after spending the night in room three, so I barely notice.
Silas is sitting with Jep, and the two of them are cleaning their guns. Agnes is humming as she crochets on the couch in the lobby.
“Good morning dear, how did you sleep?” Agnes says with a smile, looking up when I come in.
“Very well, thank you,” I say politely. Silas looks up at me and doesn’t even crack a smile. I sigh inwardly.
“Good morning,” I say to him, but he only grunts in response.
“Morning little lady,” Jep says cheerfully. I give him a smile, thankful that the entire male population isn’t like Silas.
“We’re leaving,” I say bluntly, not sure how to ease into it.
Silas doesn’t even look up. Frustration bubbles up in my chest. “Can I talk to you for a minute Silas?” I ask, which finally gets his attention.
“Why don’t you two go back into my office to talk?” Jep suggests, pointing to the door that we saw Agnes come out of yesterday.
“Thank you,” I say politely, giving Silas a look that says he better not leave me hanging.
The office is a small, windowless room with a large desk stacked haphazardly with papers. There are two chairs, but I lean against the desk instead, waiting with my breath held to see if Silas will follow me. He does.
“What?” Silas asks, and everything about him is surly.
“Why are you mad at me?” I demand, and Silas looks offended.
“I ain’t mad at you. You found your guy, now you’re leaving. What’s left to say?”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “Will you come with us?” I can tell by the raise of his eyebrows that my offer genuinely surprises him.
“You don’t want me,” he says, shuffling his feet and running his hand through his short, brush cut hair.
“Yes, I do,” I say, and I’m surprised at how much that has become the truth over the last few days. “You’ve saved my life more than once, and you’ve taught me things that no one else has.” Silas looks like he’s going to interrupt me.
“You’re a good person, Silas, and I can see that. No one should be alone in this thing. I want you to come,” I say honestly, and am discouraged to see that Silas is already shaking his head.
“That’s a nice offer, Jane. One of the nicest anyone has ever given me, but I won’t be alone. I’m going to hang around here with Agnes and Jep for a few days and build up their supply of food and things before I go.
I stare at Silas like he’s grown an extra head.
“That is a very nice thing to do,” I tell him, and I mean it. I reach out and tentatively wrap my arms around his waist. He stiffens at my touch, but I don’t let go. After an awkward minute, Silas wraps his arms around me and gives me the hug I’ve been waiting for.
“Do you need any help?” I ask him. I like Agnes and Jep, and helping an elderly couple with limited mobility get a little more prepared for the zombie apocalypse seems like the right thing to do.
“Nah, I
’ll be okay. You need to go find your parents. I’m gonna clean out that grocery store and bring them back everything they’ll need.”
I smile at Silas. “Then what?”
Silas shrugs. “Then I’ll find somewhere else to go.”
An idea hits me, and I grin at Silas. “I have an idea,” I tell him excitedly and try not to be offended when he winces. “Hey!” I slap him playfully on the shoulder. “New York is only another day’s travel from here…I’ll go look for my parents and stop by on my way back. You can help Jep and Agnes and come back with us when you’re done.” I hold my breath, waiting for him to shoot me down.
“Okay,” he says, and I blink.
“Okay?” I echo, and Silas nods.
A smile splits my face, and I hug Silas one more time. “This will be great,” I say, and I mean it. I turn to walk out the door, trip on the dog who has followed me in here, and then turn back to Silas.
“Silas…one more thing,” I say hesitantly, and he looks at me like he knows what’s coming.
“Will you watch Fluffy for me?”
Silas’ face is priceless. “Fluffy?” he echoes.
I nod. “The dog,” I confirm.
Silas looks down at the dog, and I see a slew of emotions cross his face. “Fine,” he finally grunts, and I smile. Silas is turning into a softy, though I wouldn’t dare share that opinion with him.
“Thanks.”
My hand goes to the knob, and I open the door to find Ryan waiting for me in the office with Agnes and Jep.
“Jane,” Silas calls, and I look back at him in surprise. He is leaned casually against the desk. “Be careful,” he says, and I give him a smile.
“Three days tops,” I tell him, and he nods.
“Ready to go?” I ask Ryan, turning my attention back to him.
“Born ready,” he replies, making me laugh. I’m in a giddy mood because things have worked out and we are getting back on the road. I cross the room to give Agnes and Jep a hug goodbye.
“Be safe you two!” Jep calls after us, and we both reassure them that we will.
Fluffy tries to follow me out the door. I reach down to pet him once and then shut the door in his face. Being on the road during the zombie apocalypse is no place for a little dog.
We make our way out to the truck, and I stop and stare at it. Something is different.
“What’s that thing in the back of the truck?” I ask as I stare at the big, red metal tank in the box of the F150. It’s wedged up close to the cab of the truck, and I’ve never seen one before.
Ryan grins at me. “That is our Hail Mary!” he exclaims proudly, and I send him a confused look. “I found it when Helen and I were hiding in that house. It’s an external gas tank. It used to contain diesel fuel, but I pumped it out and filled it with gas instead.”
I give Ryan a smile, though I still don’t really understand why it’s so great.
Ryan laughs as we climb in the cab. “You don’t get it, do you?” he asks. Coming from Silas that would have been an insult. But I don’t detect any negativity from Ryan, so I give a quick nod of admittance.
“It holds extra gas so we can go a lot further than we could before. We can fuel up from the tank in the back.”
I’m starting to pick up what he’s putting down, and a real smile lights my face this time. “That’s amazing,” I tell him honestly.
“It holds one hundred and five gallons. We can go to New York and all the way back to Megan and Abby on that.”
Ryan is smiling and seems to be in a great mood, so I decide to go for it.
“Hopefully there is enough for a small detour back here to pick up Silas on the way back,” I say casually and then watch the smile melt off his face.
We’re driving down the highway now, and I worry that he might refuse to come back.
“I promised him,” I say to hopefully cement the decision.
“Jane...,” Ryan says, as if he’s struggling to find the words. “You don’t know anything about that guy, he could be dangerous.”
I turn in my seat and stare at him as he drives.
“Are you serious?” I ask him incredulously. “We didn’t know you when we adopted you either,” I point out.
Ryan frowns, he doesn’t like that I’ve shown him to be a bit of a hypocrite. “That’s different, I wasn’t dangerous—” he tries to say, but I cut him off.
“Neither is Silas. He’s gruff on the outside, but he saved me.” I can tell that Ryan isn’t comprehending how much Silas saved my life. “If it wasn’t for him, you might have found me, but I wouldn’t have been alive anymore,” I say candidly, and I know that I’ve struck a nerve because I can see his hand tighten on the wheel.
“Fine, it’s up to you… I just think he’s a little off,” Ryan says, admitting defeat. I want to leap over the truck console and hug him. I don’t know what I could do if he refused to go back.
“You just need to get to know him better, he’ll warm up,” I say. “Besides, don’t you think he’d be perfect for Megan?” I laugh. Even Ryan finds that funny and cracks a small grin.
More than once, Silas has reminded me of the hard-core, gun-toting Megan.
“Can you dig the map out and take a look for me?” Ryan asks, interrupting my thoughts. “I think we aren’t that far from the city.”
His words make my pulse sky rocket with both excitement and fear. I am so anxious to see if my parents have made it to the camp.
I take the map out and show it to Ryan. He doesn’t slow down; he just takes a couple quick glances and nods. It’s not like there are any other cars to have a collision with…
“Got it, thanks,” he says.
I fold the map and carefully put it back in the glove box.
“We should be able to see the city in a couple hours,” he tells me, which is good news. Though I can tell there is something weighing on his mind.
“What else?” I prompt, and he looks at me in surprise. I’ve always been able to read Ryan better than any other person I’ve ever met.
“I just don’t like not knowing what to expect. We don’t know where this base is, and New York could be crawling with more than a million zombies…every street could be gridlocked with abandoned cars.” He lets his words sink in for a minute before continuing, “I’m not giving up. I just want you to be prepared.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him. “I know it’s a long shot.” He doesn’t seem to take any comfort from my words, but then, neither do I.
We drive in silence for a long time. I don’t realize that I’ve fallen asleep until Ryan’s hand is warm and heavy on my shoulder, shaking me gently.
“Jane, wake up.”
There is an odd quality to his voice that has me instantly alert.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, looking around for a zombie hoard while trying to get my bearings. He’s stopped the truck in the middle of the road because there is a wooden barricade placed across all lanes of traffic, preventing drivers from going further unless they decide to ram it.
Ryan points to the horizon. For miles and miles, as far as the eye can see, the land is covered in flattened rubble and black char. It’s really far away, but even from this distance we can tell that fires are still burning out of control in the wreckage.
“What is that?” I ask in confusion, not really sure what we’re looking at.
Ryan reaches out and grabs my hand tight before voicing my biggest fear.
“That’s New York City.”
Chapter Fifteen
My reaction is instantaneous. I barely get the door open before I’m on my knees and vomiting onto the concrete.
Ryan comes racing out of the truck and stands over me, desperately scanning the landscape for zombies.
I finish retching and stand on shaky legs to see if we’re surrounded by hundreds of thousands of the dead—ready to eat us because of my stupidity.
But it’s a surprisingly bleak landscape that greets me, empty of anything livin. or dead.
As Ryan and I stand in the middle of the road, I get the horrible feeling that we are the only two people left alive in the entire world.
Tears prick my eyes. I knew this was a shot in the dark, but now that feeling of hope is taken away from me, laying bare the bitter pain of loss.
“What happened here?” I ask. It comes out as a gasp because the pain is constricting my airway. My parents are dead. Now I know how Abby felt, only I will never get to know what happened.
Ryan looks around at the military barricades blocking our path into what used to be the city. “They must have bombed it to keep the dead from spreading out. There would have been so many zombies…” he trails off like he can’t believe his eyes either.
“How can they just bomb New York City?” The words are bitter, and they explode from my mouth before I can hold them back.
“They must not have any hope left that things could return to normal,” Ryan says quietly. I know that he is trying to be strong for me, but he’s struck by the horror too, and it isn’t much comfort.
“There had to have been people left alive in the city when they…” I can’t even bring myself to say it.
I turn my head into the cold steel of the truck and sob. Ryan tries to hold me, but I shake him off. This is a pain like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Being touched by him is just too much to bear right now. Nothing in this world can make me feel better.
The sound of a siren blaring brings my face off the truck. I spin around to find that Ryan is also looking around for the source of the noise.
The siren cuts out, and then a crackling sound replaces it. “Civilians. This is Major Groves. I am addressing you from the loudspeaker bolted to the power pole on your left.” Both of our eyes search out and find the small, grey box with a camera mounted to the top of it. They look like new additions.
“If you have not been infected with the virus, we can offer you asylum. First, you will need to back track down the highway four point six miles. Turn left and drive in a straight line ten miles until you hit the docks on the edge of the Hudson River. My soldiers will be waiting for you.” The voice crackles out, and then there is only silence.
“Hello?” I call, but there is no answer.
